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brinckie
Citizen
Username: Brinckie
Post Number: 53
Registered: 4-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 2:36 pm: | 
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I'm considering quitting my job early next year. Great job, great pay. The reason I want to do it is to spend time with the kids - a 5 year old and a 7 month old. There will be plenty of belt tightening around our house and I hope that its worth it. I'm just interested in anyone who has done it. I'm worried about the loss of income, the loss of identity, boredom, isolation....wait, why am I doing this again? |
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 1447
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 3:06 pm: |
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Why do you think you would lose your identity? And boredom? If you are in fact a real doer, you will find that there are myriad ways to volunteer. The first thing that comes to mind is school or pre-school. You could get on the Board at your school. Or Chair something or some event.
Or if you love what you do, is there a way to do something part time from your home.
Get creative and jump into something, cause it will get tedious hanging around a 7 month old all day. |
vermontgolfer
Citizen
Username: Vermontgolfer
Post Number: 79
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 3:12 pm: |
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I've been working from home for about 5 years, basically for the same reason, though a downsizing forced me in this direction. Not knowing your background, I'm sure there are some 'consulting' or 'part time' assignments that can keep you busy and help with the income situation. I also agree with ffof, hanging all day with a 7 month old can get tired real fast.
Besides, you'll never get bored, just spent more time on MOL/SOOL. |
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 655
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 4:29 pm: |
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There is so much running around with a 5 year old, between school drop offs and activities it will be tough to get bored. You could attend a class with the 7 month old, or do projects around the house when the baby naps. I don't know what school your child attends, but besides helping out with school activites, the kids have a lot of fun on the playground after school while the parents get to socialize (a little). |
bookgal
Citizen
Username: Bookgal
Post Number: 410
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 4:38 pm: |
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Could you work part time or job share? Would that be feasible? It sounds like you love your job. |
viva
Citizen
Username: Viva
Post Number: 296
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 5:57 pm: |
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(re)discovering the world thru a child's eyes.
priceless. |
snowmom
Citizen
Username: Snowmom
Post Number: 103
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:11 pm: |
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Great idea, but working PT has been great for me & my family; helps me stay (sort of) sane. But honestly, if $ were no object, I'd likely retire right now...
It also raises the issue, is growing up with the aspiration to be an at-home mom so terrible? I've worked with teenagers for years and I cannot remember ever hearing one say she wanted to be a mom or "housewife"; nor have I ever heard a schoolager express the desire to be a mommy.. I think this sad.. |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 128
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:49 pm: |
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brinckie-- can you take a leave of absence? That way you can see if this is something you really want to do. Spending time with your kids is one of the most wonderful and amazing things in the world. I would just make sure it is something you REALLY want before you give up a job you love with great pay. I am sure you have already thought this through a lot. Just a suggestion. |
Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 115
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:56 pm: |
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I have been a stay-at-home mom for two years now, since having my youngest child, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have not been bored once at all....quite the opposite. In fact, I have too much that I want to do and no time to do it all. I volunteer in a local charitable organization, I participate in a busy playgroup, I run around doing errands, shopping, kid stuff, you name it. The days fly by, and every day I spend with the kids is amazing. Sadly, my time as a stay-at-home mom is soon ending, because I recently got divorced and will be returning to work this fall or winter. I am so disappointed by this change in plans that I'm starting to treasure every day I am home even more, even though I have to admit a job could be interesting. This is a very bittersweet time for me. I was pretty career-oriented too before I quit but this has been better than any job I've ever had. I will try to scale down to part-time work as soon as it is fiscally possible. Bottom line, if you are involved with friends (there are SO many SAHM moms in Maplewood), schools, volunteer opportunities (granted, you do need childcare for that), and just plain running your life, you will not be bored. And I don't think many moms in Maplewood feel isolated; it's such a cohesive friendly place with so much going on and so many ways to meet people. Good luck. |
cody
Citizen
Username: Cody
Post Number: 363
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 6:58 pm: |
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I did that when my older child was born in the 1980s - I wanted to be there for all her milestones. I had been working in the system design/project management area and enjoyed what I did, but it was a 6-day a week, 10-hour day/on-call all the time job. Not compatible with small children.
For the first year, whenever anyone asked me what I did, I'd say that I was home with my child, but I'd immediately explain that "I used to" do something important. It took about a year or two for my own mindset to change. Yes, people's eyes will glaze when you tell them what you do, but you'll find friends in similar situations. I met a great bunch of people I'd not known previously - editors, artists, people going back to school. I certainly wasn't bored at all just because I was home. There were the occasional days that crawled, but you have them in an office, too. No job is completely wonderful all the time, at least none I've ever heard about.
I volunteered in the preschool my kids attended, had a great garden, took lots of walks with them and did some fun stuff. Don't forget that kids who start school having been talked to a lot and who have had the benefit of lots of experiences have built up a "bank" of concepts and words that will be of tremendous use to them in a classroom.
Once my younger child was in school, I started substitute teaching and eventually made a career switch into the education field. Less money than I'd been making, but the hours are much more child-friendly.
You're not retiring permanently and you will probably return to your job or a similar one, so I say, go for it, enjoy the time home with your children and the memories you'll have and just consider it a life-stage, not a life-change. If you can swing the financial end of it, I say go for it and do what makes you the most comfortable. It's not an irrevocable decision. |
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 1450
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, September 17, 2003 - 7:30 pm: |
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Also, I have found that the older the kids get, the more important it is to be home for them. Teenagers and pre-teens do not always make responsible decisions, and I'd like to believe that any nanny or empty house would not be able to fill my shoes. |
phyllis
Citizen
Username: Phyllis
Post Number: 167
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 7:31 am: |
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Whether or not you decide to stay home, think about joining our local Mothers & More chapter. These are just the types of issues we discuss, in addition to planning lots of daytime and evening activities. www.maplessorangemothers.org is the website if you want to check it out. It's a great group (over 150 members in SOMA) and I've made lots of friends - some at home, some in the workforce and lots of them juggling with a combination. |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 39
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, September 18, 2003 - 7:59 am: |
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I stayed at home until my children were ten and seven. Then I worked for twenty-five years at two different but related careers. Now retired, I'm available for my grandchildren, whose parents work and who need backup care. |
sahm
Citizen
Username: Sahm
Post Number: 27
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Friday, September 26, 2003 - 10:48 pm: |
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I second the recommendation to check out Mothers & More! There is an evening meeting the second and fourth Wednesday of the month (without kids). It's held at 8 p.m. at Winchester Gardens on Elmwood Avenue in Maplewood. You can attend up to three meetings before deciding if you want to join or not.
I had a rough time with my identity at first when I left a job i loved to stay at home with my daughter. But then I got over it and enjoyed being with her! I have been very busy and am now glad that i can volunteer in the school. I am now thinking of some part time work so my career is not over.
The PRice of Motherhood is a good book about how our society does not support stay at home moms. |
Elizabeth
Citizen
Username: Elizabeth
Post Number: 254
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Saturday, September 27, 2003 - 9:40 am: |
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Brinckie--good luck! I will just say that I empathize and that for some people, there's no perfect solution, just years of shifting compromises! I've worked full-time, part-time and had brief periods of unemployment. I have never been bored, I have always volunteered, but I have to admit that an important part of my identity is being a wage earner and a "something" in the out-of-home world. I agree with ffof about the teenage years: in all my children's growing up there was no other time where it was more important for a parent to be accessible and focused on where the kids were and what they were doing. |
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