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Message |
    
sophietoes
Citizen
Username: Sophietoes
Post Number: 2
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, October 5, 2003 - 8:19 pm: | 
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Does anyone know of a decent divorce support group in the area? |
OK, it's Tom Reingold
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 685
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2003 - 10:58 am: |
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No, but if you start one, you'll probably have a bunch of takers here.
For what it's worth, I divorced four years ago and remarried this past May. I have custody of my two daughters.
If you like the online thing, I can recommend a good forum. Very nice folks, but it's not face to face. The people are spread all over.
Tom Reingold
There is nothing
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Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 141
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, October 12, 2003 - 7:36 pm: |
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Sophietoes, I am recently divorced (in April) and have been seeking a good local divorce support group. I tried one in Livingston this summer but didn't like it at all, and the local Parents Without Partners groups are kind of far away (though I am still trying to get to a meeting). I have custody of my two daughters, and while I love Maplewood and all my friends here, it can be a little isolating to be a single parent here. If you want to privateline me, go ahead. Maybe we can talk about trying to set up a group. |
mfpark
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 33
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, October 14, 2003 - 8:02 am: |
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I am going through the divorce process right now, and would love to find others to share ideas and experiences with. I am also finding that even though my friends are incredibly warm and supportive, it is hard for them to relate unless they also have been divorced (and thankfully few have).
If you want to try to get a group going, please let me know. You can private line me.
Regards,
Mark |
Jackie Day
Citizen
Username: Zoesky1
Post Number: 144
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, October 15, 2003 - 1:26 pm: |
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Attention local separated and divorced people: based on interest from this board, it looks like a few of us are going to try to form a local Maplewood/South Orange divorce support group. If interested, please privateline me. Thanks! |
jeanneh
Citizen
Username: Jeanneh
Post Number: 31
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, October 24, 2003 - 1:42 pm: |
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Beware your group doesn't become one of those whinning, complaining types that doesn't help anyone. It's best to have agendas and a moderator to keep the group from straying off the agenda.
I have been divorced 5 years. The begining was rough, both emotionally and financially, but I really I am much happier now. (meaning happier not with spouse, and happier as time has passed) I have no family close-by and my friends and neighbors really rallied beside me during the tough times. I also asked them...."please listen, or please tell me what you think, or please help me do..."
I have no plans on joining any support group but will share a bit of advice on getting through it.
FIRST--I should start by saying you shouldn't expect to "recover" or "get over it" any time soon...or maybe never, but you can move ahead and make new plans and be happy with your new direction.
Once you've decieded that divorce is the only choice left, and that there is NO WAY that you and your spouse can continue to be together:
1) Hire a lawyer you trust will do the best for YOU
(mine was Jeffrey Weinstein in Roseland)
2) Keep a daily diary of what is happening, what's being said between parties and date everything.
3) If children are involved make choices that are BEST for the children and TRY YOUR HARDEST not to involve the kids in your personal disputes.
4) Go into this with a plan and stay focused on the "big picture" and don't waste time energy or money arguing who gets the minor things that can easily be replaced.
____________________________________
On a personal side
1) make time for yourself and treat yourself to things that you might normally not allow ie: big ice cream cone
2) if you have kids--stay focused on what's best for them NO MATTER HOW PISSED OFF YOU ARE AT YOUR SOON TO BE EX!
3) make a list of things you hope to do or accomplish (outside of getting the divorce over) and give yourself a reasonable timetable to do it. AND actually work towards your goal.
4) don't wallow in what "could have been", or stew about "what was". This is easier said than done...in that case refer to #3...and put your energy into that.
5) rally friends, family and neighbors around you and don't be too proud to ask for advice, help, or a shoulder to cry on. You'll be suprised what you get if you just ask.
6) if you don't already have a great sense of humor--GET ONE
REMEMBER it's not a new life, just a new direction and you have the power to choose to be happy.
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