| Author |
Message |
    
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 167
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 9:13 pm: | 
|
Okay, I am at my wits end with this, and any advice would be greatly appreciated.
My son now 3 and a half was potty trained for two weeks, now suddenly won't do number 2 on the potty.
I love my doctor, but his advice is wait, and when he is ready he will do it.
I would like any first hand advice from anyone who had a similar problem! I have tried bribing, stickers, etc to get him to go.
HELP!! |
jfburch
Citizen
Username: Jfburch
Post Number: 1066
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 9:43 pm: |
|
Wait a while. It may be a comfort issue. It may be a control issue. If it's the latter and you push too hard it can get a lot worse.
My stepsister got into it and ended up with a traumatic mess (ending up with hospitalization and a series of major enemas w/follow up medication for a while for her then 5 year old).
Ignore it. Cheerfully offer him a diaper when he needs to poop. Encourage him to go into the bathroom, in diaper, to do his business, (and don't force that) but otherwise let it go.
|
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 731
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 9:49 pm: |
|
3 1/2 for boys seems early from my pre-school experiences.
My eldest daughter had a big number two problem. She was potty trained right before she turned three, but insisted first on pooping in a diaper (she'd tell me when she needed one and go in the bathroom to do it). Then, when that got too gross to handle, I found she'd poop on a little plastic potty because there was no splash. This lasted a long time. We had to bring that potty everywhere! (Ikea has a small one that currently lives in my car for emergencies. At times I'M temped to use it!) Finally at close to 4 1/2 she did it on a normal potty.
It's probably some kind of fear on the kid's part and pushing him will only stress him out worse. Stick a little potty in the corner, decorate it with stickers if you must. And yes, wait. Also, if he insists on going in a diaper make sure you put it on ONLY when he needs it and when you wipe him tell him what a big boy he is (read: this is so gross because you're too big for me to be doing this!) and in time he'll move on. |
viva
Citizen
Username: Viva
Post Number: 317
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 11, 2003 - 10:11 pm: |
|
I'm sure most of your frustration lies in that he was "trained" for two weeks but then changed his mind about things.
If you haven't tried this by now, how about making a "treasure box" with several cheapo toys. Tell him that when he poops in the potty, he gets to pick a treasure. When all the treasures are gone, you go out for a celebratory ice cream -- and then the "treasure box" routine ends.
I'm sure you've tried the "really cool underwear" routine. If not, it might be worth a try.
Of course, you could wait. |
Michael K. Mc Kell
Citizen
Username: Greenerose
Post Number: 96
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 4:46 am: |
|
My Daughter is 2.5 years old and is in the same boat. She will say "I got to go potty" and have already went in the pull up.
We have since learned her approximately ETA of poo and ask her if she needs to go.
So far so good. (Not always)
Michael K. Mc Kell
|
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 172
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 6:20 am: |
|
My daughter was in a day nursery all during the day at that age. The head teacher for the room (covered 2-3 year olds) told me two things: (1) stop using disposable pull-ups, (2) let the peer "pressure" help, and (3) buy some highly valued underpants (with, in her case, Barbie on them) that will only be used when she's been using the toilet for both functions for a week reliably
The argumentment on the pull ups was that kids need to learn how uncomfortable it is to feel either pee or poop in their underpants. Pull ups shield them from this knowlege. Teacher was right. We had a kind of nasty week with me bringing home baggies of soiled underpants, but by the end of it, poop in the toilet was mastered. I think it was poop first as it is easier for them to control.
The peer part was pretty real. Several times a day, all the kids trooped into the bathroom to use the big kid potties. No attitude around it, but seeing the other kids do it played a part.
The fancy underpants were a goal as well that worked. I also recall the teacher saying that when kids do both functions in the toilet "early" -- closer to 2 -- it's usually the parents who are trained, and not the kid. She also said something -- could be an old wives' tail -- about the child walking upstairs. Until the child can alternate feet when climbing the stairs, s/he may not be ready.
I will say I think the teacher was right. My daughter was "trained" in less than two weeks by waiting for her and the above environmental factors to do their work. Seems to me it was after 2.5 but less than 3. |
sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 696
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 9:13 am: |
|
My experience was that my son refused to go on the potty and preferred his diapers and pull ups. This lasted throughout the three's. We gradually made the move to underwear and it was a disaster. Too many accidents to count. So we went back to pull-ups and dropped trying to get him to comply. Somewhere around his fourth birthday he came to us and said he wanted to start wearing underwear. So we complied with his request and from that day till now he has had three accidents that I can remember. Two of them at night. He literally went from diapers 24/7 to underwear (no nighttime diapers or anything).
When your child is ready they'll know. |
campbell29
Citizen
Username: Campbell29
Post Number: 51
Registered: 4-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 9:53 am: |
|
My daughter also went the route of taking the panties off, putting the pull-up on and then doing the deed (usually in the closet to avoid my whisking her onto the potty.) On her third birthday, we made a big show of telling her that she was now "too big to wear pull-ups" and had to use the potty. We had a cermonial trashing of the pull-ups, and it was never again an issue. |
akb
Citizen
Username: Akb
Post Number: 141
Registered: 12-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 10:11 am: |
|
My daughter was potty trained at about 2 1/2 but still preferred a diaper to poo in for a couple more weeks (maybe a month max?) after she was pee-trained. I say ride it out. ;-) Definitely don't try and force the issue (beyond the treats as above - underwear etc). Like jfburch's story upthread, the daughter of a friend of mine is chronically constipated and needs to take daily laxatives now because she was too scared to poo on the toilet and her parents made it a big issue. |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 168
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 10:51 am: |
|
Thanks everyone, ignoring it and waiting it out seems to be the consensus. It has been about three months of that with no progress, so I thought we would try something else!
Our biggest problem is that my son like to wear his underwear, and is not bothered AT ALL by the accidents.  |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 100
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 11:32 am: |
|
My sons became potty trained for stars. We made a chart--two stars for poo and one star for pee. When they got ten stars, they got a treat. They really wanted those stars. It took a couple of months for each boy, but it worked. Be patient--I've never seen a teenager who wasn't potty trained. |
gemini
Citizen
Username: Gemini
Post Number: 217
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 2:14 pm: |
|
After my first child I vowed never to clean poop out of a portable potty again. I bought one of those elmo soft seats for the next two and said this is where you go, on the toilet.
I always had friends that said "my kid's trained...but only..... I just waited, then took away diapers overnight and put undies on. They peed in them once, that was it. GOod luck |
shh
Citizen
Username: Shh
Post Number: 732
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 2:29 pm: |
|
Overnight is a totally different ball game.
|
Tom Reingold the prissy-pants
Citizen
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 1024
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 5:55 pm: |
|
If he knows how but refuses, it's a control issue, plain and simple. Don't get into power plays. Let him decide he's ready. If you let this escalate, you'll have more trouble for the rest of your life. It's not that potty training is that important. You need a new way of relating.
And I don't speak from a point of view of perfection, I speak of hard lessons I'm still learning.
Tom Reingold
There is nothing
|
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 169
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 6:01 pm: |
|
Amazingly my son is potty trained overnight. He never wets himself. Only the #2.
I know I should be patient. But..... I am not  I guess I am gonig to have to learn! |
pfmfmfaf
Citizen
Username: Pfmfmfaf
Post Number: 33
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 9:29 pm: |
|
My son was completely "continent" as of age 3, but refused to make a BM unless he was wearing a pull-up (he actually insisted we put one on him, then he would retreat to the bathroom to do his business). At the age of FOUR, we said, "Enough," and "They don't make pull-ups for 4-year olds!" (We also used birthdays as times for big change--like big beds, etc.) After that, no problem (except for occasionally forgetting to flush). I guess that despite all the hoopla, it's probably not worth the worry! |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 174
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 6:18 am: |
|
Reading all of this reminded me that once my daughter did get into using the toilet, EVERYWHERE we went she wanted to use public rest rooms. I mean, everywhere. We'd go to the Pathmark, and she used it. McDonald's. Multiple places in the mall. It's like she kept a mental running list of places she'd done it. |
Closed: New threads not accepted on this page