| Author |
Message |
    
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 175
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 9:59 am: |     |
"I see" said the blind man as he picked up his hammer and saw. |
drewdix
Citizen
Username: Drewdix
Post Number: 376
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 10:52 am: | |
Watch it, you'll poke out somebody's eye with that thing! |
trapper
Citizen
Username: Trapper
Post Number: 38
Registered: 8-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 11:40 am: | |
Mares eat oats and does eat oats and little lambs eat ivy... a kid'll eat ivy too, wouldn't you?
No, I wouldn't. |
Lizziecat
Citizen
Username: Lizziecat
Post Number: 103
Registered: 5-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 12:42 pm: | |
Your face will freeze with that expression. |
thegoodsgt
Citizen
Username: Thegoodsgt
Post Number: 306
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 1:15 pm: | |
You can do anything if you put your mind to it. |
kevin
Citizen
Username: Kevin
Post Number: 119
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 1:19 pm: | |
That's the way the cookie crumbles. |
bets
Citizen
Username: Bets
Post Number: 417
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 1:32 pm: | |
How to spell "taught"  |
Marvin Gardens
Citizen
Username: Marvin_gardens
Post Number: 11
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 2:18 pm: | |
If "If's" and But's" were candy and nuts, what a sweet world it would be...
_______________
Do Not Pass Go |
deborahg
Citizen
Username: Deborahg
Post Number: 717
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 3:37 pm: | |
It's fun until somebody loses an eye.*
*Actually courtesy of my friend Janet's parents. |
Bjp
Citizen
Username: Bjp
Post Number: 220
Registered: 10-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 3:57 pm: | |
(Aside: what do you think the ratio of threats of eyeloss to actual eyes lost is? Maybe 3 million to one?)
|
moose
Citizen
Username: Moose
Post Number: 146
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 4:06 pm: | |
"Could you PLEASE turn that amp down??" |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 839
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 4:41 pm: | |
my parents never used the "...and you'll go blind besides" line...anyone else ever get that one?
I did probably get the "there are kids starving in Biafra who would love to have that succotash and liver". |
redY67
Citizen
Username: Redy67
Post Number: 177
Registered: 2-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 5:17 pm: | |
Bets--Okay, okay I have never been known for my spelling, but that was really bad. |
greeneyes
Citizen
Username: Greeneyes
Post Number: 419
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 7:22 pm: | |
Hank-
I mailed my liver to the kids in Biafra. I was 8. I addressed it to : Starving Kids, Biafra. I got into trouble for that one, but it's hard for parents to discipline with a straight face.
And I don't remember seeing any television ads for Biafran relief. Where did the whole starving kids in Biafra thing start? |
Crazyguggenheim
Citizen
Username: Crazyguggenheim
Post Number: 465
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 8:22 pm: | |
"It's better than a poke in the eye with a stick!"
Call me crazy |
imacgrandma
Citizen
Username: Imacgrandma
Post Number: 181
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 9:26 pm: | |
"You can't vote Democratic. Your were born a Republican. We made you a Republican."
|
mooewe
Citizen
Username: Mooewe
Post Number: 171
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, November 13, 2003 - 10:39 pm: | |
"You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose."
OK, my parents weren't cool enough to say that, but I was cool enough to say it to my kids. I also taught them how to crack their noses. |
Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 171
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 10:01 am: | |
When I came home with a bad report card my dad would say-"Your spending too much time playing that guitar and not enough time studying, at least Allan Ginsburg is smart" (I didn't have the heart to tell him that Allan Ginsburg didn't play guitar). |
kmk
Citizen
Username: Kmk
Post Number: 254
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 11:21 am: | |
When I told my mother it was time to sell Girl Scout cookies she said "Absolutely not! Only gypsies go door to door." She was dead serious - she grew up on a farm in the midwest in the 40's. |
lamojo
Citizen
Username: Lamojo
Post Number: 52
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 1:08 pm: | |
If you hit your mother/father, "Your hand will stick up out of the grave". |
Brett
Citizen
Username: Bmalibashksa
Post Number: 429
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 1:13 pm: | |
lamojo: That's the only one I've never heard.
What does it mean??? |
gretchen
Citizen
Username: Gretchen
Post Number: 75
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 1:36 pm: | |
Don't smoke on the street. People will think you're a prostitute. |
1-2many
Citizen
Username: Wbg69
Post Number: 594
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 1:56 pm: | |
gretchen! you've just reminded me!
in my house, if you wore heels with pants, you "looked like a hooker"!
yeah, baby!
|
lamojo
Citizen
Username: Lamojo
Post Number: 53
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 4:07 pm: | |
Brett - that striking your parents is taboo and as payback you won't rest peacefully in your grave (deterrent to being "fresh" to parents, although we had enough incentive to never try this in the first place!) |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 840
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 5:04 pm: | |
"show me your friends and I will show you who you are".
"you cant make a silk purse out of a sow's ear."
I guess neither are actually stupid quotes. |
imacgrandma
Citizen
Username: Imacgrandma
Post Number: 182
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 6:24 pm: | |
"You better watch out. If the wind changes, your face may be stuck in that position." |
Katy McFarland
Citizen
Username: Katymcf
Post Number: 5
Registered: 11-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 14, 2003 - 9:21 pm: | |
"Red up your room" aka "Clean up your room" It's a PA thing. |
nan
Citizen
Username: Nan
Post Number: 1024
Registered: 2-2001
| | Posted on Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 10:58 am: | |
My mother's most oft repeated advice on "How to get Rich":
"Get hit by an oil truck and live" |
Liz
Citizen
Username: Mschiquita
Post Number: 53
Registered: 7-2003
| | Posted on Sunday, November 16, 2003 - 11:00 pm: | |
I thought I was the only person under the age of 70 who was subjected to 'mares eat oats' - it was my grandparent's doing and at the time I loved it and promptly sang it the entire way up I75 from Detroit to our cabin 'up north'...needless to say, that is where it died, my grandpa must have threatened to never again let me eat Captain Crunch and watch Petticoat Junction if I ever sang it again ad nauseum. My grandmother also used to say 'suzz buzz fuzz agmemnon'. My mother, on the other hand, said things like 'zut alors'. Oh what a difference a generation makes.... |
Phil
Citizen
Username: Barleyrooty
Post Number: 721
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, November 19, 2003 - 6:53 am: | |
Here are some books my parents read to me:
http://www.penz.com/kibble/funnybooks.html |
mimosa
Citizen
Username: Mimosa
Post Number: 85
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 21, 2003 - 9:03 pm: | |
If wishes were horses, beggars would ride. If turnips were watches, I'd have one at my side.
That's from my great grandmother.
|
ffof
Citizen
Username: Ffof
Post Number: 1649
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 8:31 pm: | |
What would you rather do than gallop a goose? Eat hungarian goolash of course! |
emmie
Citizen
Username: Emmie
Post Number: 162
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Sunday, November 23, 2003 - 9:29 pm: | |
"See a penny pick it up, all day long you'll have good luck." My Grandmother used to say this many years ago when a penny was worth bending over for.
Not.
My parents, whenever I got into trouble..."If your friends told you to jump off the roof, would you do that too?"
|
Elizabeth
Citizen
Username: Elizabeth
Post Number: 265
Registered: 7-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 28, 2003 - 3:30 pm: | |
This one's way, way beyond stupid . . .
My mother: why would he buy the cow if he can get the milk for free? |
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