| Author |
Message |
    
marken
Citizen
Username: Marken
Post Number: 76
Registered: 4-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, November 20, 2003 - 6:14 pm: |     |
Today's Unusual Sender: Christian Debt Management
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What the heck is this? Maybe they just turn the other cheek when it comes time to collect. It's in the Bible I believe: "....and forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors." Look it up.
Today's Repeat Offender: Keely (10 messages in 2 hours)
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Today he/she is promoting Walmart, gray-market cigarettes, a "free night out", and a "winning number". I'm not the right demographic: I don't smoke, I hate a bargain, and I cook at home. Why don't I get any spam from Nordstrom? |
luv2cruise
Citizen
Username: Luv2cruise
Post Number: 128
Registered: 12-2002
| | Posted on Friday, November 21, 2003 - 4:53 am: | |
How can you hate a bargain? If you have too much money, want to share? 
There's nothing like being on the ocean! |
drewdix
Citizen
Username: Drewdix
Post Number: 394
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Friday, November 21, 2003 - 9:39 am: | |
...shouldn't it then be
"turn the other check" |
SoOrLady
Citizen
Username: Soorlady
Post Number: 166
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Friday, November 21, 2003 - 5:09 pm: | |
Apparently for the mere cost of $29.95 I can own 1 acre of land on the moon - complete with mineral rights! This spam brought to you by Luna! |
notehead
Citizen
Username: Notehead
Post Number: 767
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 2:31 pm: | |
I get literally hundreds of spams a day. Fortunately, the Apple Mail application filters out 90% of them. Lately, this is what I'm getting:
1. Porn sites of every imaginable kind. (And I don't remember asking anyone what Bethany liked to do when she was feeling lonely at the farm.) 25%
2. Amazing male or female "enhancement" products. Buy both now and have the biggest hooters AND pork sword on the block! 20%
3. Offers to refinance my mortgage or eliminate my debt - FOREVER. 15%
4. Offers to show me the VERY BEST MONEY MAKING SCHEME EVER!! And it's all TOTALLY LEGAL. 10%
5. Sites that will "introduce" me to Russian girls, East European girls, lonely local housewives, etc. 8%
6. Offers for drugs without a prescription - phentermine, HGH, viagra, xanax... 7%
7. Spams consisting entirely of miscellaneous characters, or in a language other than English that I cannot begin to comprehend. 5%
8. Junk stocks. Sure the stock is only 2 cents now, but it's ON A ROCKET, BABY! 3%
9. Bogus products such as gasoline-saving devices, anti-aging treatments, miracle tooth decay remedies, etc. 2%
10. Offers for legit, but totally stupid crap such as toner cartridges, radio-controlled stunt cars, pirated software, dog toys... 2%
11. Special offers from companies that I might have made a purchase from once, but have asked to be removed from their email lists a dozen times, such as buy.com and circuitcity.com. 1%
12. Pleas from some bank officer or relative of a dying foreign billionaire who has heard of my trustworthiness from a mutual acquaintance, and would like to send millions of dollars to me for safekeeping. (From literally 5 minutes ago: "My name is SEUNG CHANG. From 1980-1988 I was the former special aide to Mr. CHUN DOO-HWAN, the former President of South Korea who seized power in a military coup in 1980...") 1%
13. Forwarded chain mails from people I may have never even heard of who are clearly DUMBER THAN DIRT. (No, Bill Gates is not going to send you a check if you send that email to 20 people in the next 10 minutes, you insufferably stupid putz.) 0.75%
14. Actual correspondence or information from people or companies that I might actually be glad to hear from. 0.25% |
Chris Dickson
Citizen
Username: Ironman
Post Number: 867
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 2:52 pm: | |
And what about all those emails from Big Train?
Don't forget, Big Train is bringing back da funk to O'Reilly's Pub for the Big Train Office Holiday Party on 12/19. You can help Big Train and O'Reilly's Pub support Toys for Tots by bringing a new, unwrapped toy to the show ...
Big Train
Horn-infused funkification!
www.bigtraintracks.com |
yabbadabbadoo
Citizen
Username: Yabbadabbadoo
Post Number: 3
Registered: 11-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, November 25, 2003 - 5:36 pm: | |
pork sword?
FF |
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