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Message |
    
susan1014
Supporter
Username: Susan1014
Post Number: 319
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 6:08 pm: | 
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Hey Mtierney, as one of the "politically correct" folks you diagree with on the education thread, I have spoken up here to support Mem on her concerns about Catholic bashing...just scroll upward. I'm for respecting all religions (and keeping their celebrations out of the schools ;-) ) |
Dave
Moderator
Username: Dave
Post Number: 4921
Registered: 4-1998
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 6:34 pm: |
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Heck, if people think Anon and Ajc are so off-base with their innocent humor (aka as "Catholic-bashing" by those with low threshholds for such), what does anyone make of this comment in the original article:
quote:The Rev. Gerald M. Horan, superintendent of diocese schools, said that if Catholic beliefs were strictly adhered to, then children whose parents divorced, used birth control or married outside the church would also have to be banned.
It's the same joke in a different wrapper. |
susan1014
Supporter
Username: Susan1014
Post Number: 320
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 7:07 pm: |
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Except that Rev. Horan is serious...No sign that he means it as a joke, rather than as a reasoned explanation of his position |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 4466
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 8:48 pm: |
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OK that does it. I'm having a WASP bashing party at my house this weekend for catholics, jews, devil worshippers, atheists, agnostics, budhists, martians, you name it, only NO white anglo saxon protestants, at all. But wait, that's just a regular weekend at my house anyway.
Cheers all! |
common sense
Citizen
Username: Common_sense
Post Number: 16
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 8:57 pm: |
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I'll name a Catholic who has murdered people - Gerry Adams.
er, the IRA, Oxford Street bombings, Birmingham pub bombings, bandstand bombings. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5023
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 10:07 pm: |
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mtierney, there are plenty of jokes about Jews' beliefs. Most are written by Jews.
Ever hear about the rabbi and the flood? http://www.rescuehouse.com/content/firefighter-jokes/000126.php
This isn't the best retelling of it, but it will do. |
anon
Citizen
Username: Anon
Post Number: 1567
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 10:39 pm: |
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mem: Sorry if I offended you. I was trying to be funny. I did debate with myself whether to post my little joke. Dave had it right that I was sort of taking what the Superintendent of diocese schools said and using irony to make the same point humorously.
I apologize to those I offended and am glad I gave some others an innocent chuckle and thank those who stood up for me. |
anon
Citizen
Username: Anon
Post Number: 1568
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, January 5, 2005 - 10:48 pm: |
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Tom Reingold:
That's a very old joke. It was once used on "The West Wing". Karl Malden, playing a Priest, told it to President Bartlett to make a point. (But it wasn't about a Rabbi, just a religious person). I once read a version written in Ladino! |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5031
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 7:48 am: |
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The age of my joke makes my point well. mtierney seemed to be unaware that there are Jewish and Protestant jokes. I can't say if there are Protestant jokes, except for the ones in The Meaning of Life by Monty Python. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 3617
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:05 am: |
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I am totally in age-denial....
I just read the last few posts without my glasses and thought Tom was posting a joke about a rabbit and a flood.  |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 4468
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:18 am: |
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anon,
Of course I'm not offended. But I wanted to show how all this "sensitivity" and "uncomfortableness" can apply everywhere.
I guess that was my silly point.
Cheers.
Tom - I never heard a funny or interesting protestant joke. Just boring stuff about mayonaisse, cucumber sandwiches, overuse of alcohol and white bread. I guess it just figures, huh?
 |
tulip
Citizen
Username: Braveheart
Post Number: 1922
Registered: 3-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:19 am: |
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OK. I'll have to move to Idaho after I tell this one, but here goes, as told to me by my older son who is at college:
There was a Lubovitcher school, and they wanted to start a rowing crew, so they formed a team, and scheduled some events against some schools who had had crew competitions for many years. They went on their first crew effort, to no avail.
"Rabbi, we just couldn't win," said the crew leader.
"Well, let's try again," said the Rabbi.
So they scheduled another meet, and they lost again.
"Rabbi, we just didn't win that one either," said the crew leader.
"Well, rest up a bit and see how it goes another time," said the Rabbi.
So they did, and they scheduled another meet, which they lost.
Finally, one of the coaches for the Lubovitcher school decided he'd study the situation and try to figure out what was going on, and why they were always losing. So he went uptown and watched the practices.
He came back in a state of excitement.
"Rabbi, Rabbi!" said the student. "I think I know why they're always winning!"
"Why?" said the Rabbi.
"On their boats," said the student, "one man is shouting orders and all the others...are rowing!"
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Mark Fuhrman
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 1073
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:37 am: |
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Interesting that a quick Google on Protestant Jokes does not come up with many--and usually they are in the context of other religions (Catholic or Jewish).
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
______________________________________
The Mother Superior in the convent school was chatting with her young charges and she asked them what they wanted to be when they grew up.
A twelve year-old said, "I want to be a prostitute."
The Mother Superior fainted dead away on the spot. When they revived her, she raised her head from the ground and gasped, "What did you say?"
The young girl shrugged. "I said I want to be a prostitute."
"A prostitute!" the Mother Superior said. "Oh, praise Sweet Jesus! I thought you said you wanted to be a Protestant."
________________________________
A Jewish Rabbi, a Catholic Priest and a Protestant minister, were all out fishing one day. After about an hour, the Rabbi got up in the boat and said "Guys I have to get something to drink .. I'll be right back." At which point he stepped out of the boat and walked across the water to shore, up the bank, and into the cabin. A few minutes later he came out of the cabin, walked down the bank, back across the water and got back into the boat. The Protestant minister was flabbergasted, but decided to say nothing.
Pretty soon the Catholic priest stood up and said "Guys I'm a little hungry ... I'm going to get a snack." At which point he stepped out of the boat, walked across the water, up the bank, and into the cabin. A few minutes later he came out of the cabin, walked down the bank, and sure enough, walked back across the water and got back into the boat.
By this time the Baptist Minister was so shocked that he decided that he should do the same thing. He stood up and said "Guys I need to use the bathroom ... I'll be right back". At which point he stood up, stepped over the railing of the boat and into the water and sank like a rock.
The Rabbi then looked at the priest and said "Do you think we should have told him where the rocks were?"
__________________________________ |
Mark Fuhrman
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 1074
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:39 am: |
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Most humor, when it is effective, pushes at the edges of our accepted and most cherished beliefs. The line between what is humorous and what is hurtful can often be very thin. |
greenetree
Supporter
Username: Greenetree
Post Number: 3618
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 8:44 am: |
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Mark |
mem
Citizen
Username: Mem
Post Number: 4469
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 9:43 am: |
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mtierney
Citizen
Username: Mtierney
Post Number: 719
Registered: 3-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 12:35 pm: |
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Mark F. "Most humor, when it is effective, pushes at the edges of our accepted and most cherished beliefs. The line between what is humorous and what is hurtful can often be very thin."
Right on the mark, Mark!
I have been known to tell a joke — religious-based included. Please take another look at Livingston's contribution of "jokes" to this board. Snickering might result, but do you feel good about them?
FWIW: I never enjoyed Python et al even at the height of their fame. I do love most Brit comedies, however. I will confess that staying up late enough for Leno or Letterman is never an issue. After the opening monologue, I found the remainder of the shows are unremittingly stupid.
Jokes designed to inflict pain are not funny!
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Robert Livingston
Citizen
Username: Rob_livingston
Post Number: 678
Registered: 7-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 12:45 pm: |
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I'd have never guessed Leno was too ribald for this board. (Well, maybe I would). Good thing I stopped myself before I quoted someone really racy like Craig Kilborn. He was on network TV later, so he could be very, very, very, very, very, very offensive. |
Ukealalio
Citizen
Username: Ukealalio
Post Number: 1622
Registered: 6-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 12:47 pm: |
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A man was on vacation with his wife and his mother in law in Israel when all of a sudden his mother in law died. He was making arrangements with a funeral home to bring his mother in laws body back to the states when he was told, Why don't you bury your mother in law here in the Holy Land?, it's much cheaper and would be a great honor for her. The man thought for a moment and considered the $5000 savings but said, No I'm going to pay the extra money and fly her back to the states, thats where she was born and I feel thats where she should be laid to rest. The funeral director said, I admire your kindness and consideration for your mother in law. The man said, it's not that, its just that they buried a Jew here a few thousand years ago who rose from the dead, I'm not taking any chances. |
Mark Fuhrman
Citizen
Username: Mfpark
Post Number: 1076
Registered: 9-2001
| | Posted on Thursday, January 6, 2005 - 1:07 pm: |
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Uke! |
mtierney
Citizen
Username: Mtierney
Post Number: 721
Registered: 3-2001
| | Posted on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 12:52 pm: |
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 funny! not hurtful IMO. (Have wonderful mother-in-law BTW)
Pedophile jokes?  |
Soda
Supporter
Username: Soda
Post Number: 2300
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, January 7, 2005 - 2:23 pm: |
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Old Jewish joke:
The IRS sends their auditor to a synagogue. The auditor is going through all his procedures, and then turns to the Rabbi and says, "Rabbi, I notice that you buy quite a lot of candles."
"Yes," answered the Rabbi.
"Well, Rabbi, what do you do with the candle
drippings?" he asked.
"A good question," noted the Rabbi. "We actually
save them up, and when we have enough, we send them back to the candle makers, and every now and then, they send us a free box of candles."
"Oh," replied the auditor, somewhat disappointed that his question actually had a practical answer.
But he thought he'd go on..."Rabbi, what about all
these matzoh purchases? What do you do with the crumbs from the matzoh?"
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi calmly, "we actually collect up all the crumbs from the matzoh and when we have enough, we send them in a box back to
the manufacturer, and every now and then, they send a box of matzoballs."
"Oh," replied the auditor, thinking hard how now to fluster the Rabbi. "Well, Rabbi," he finally asked, "what do you do with all the foreskins from the circumcisions?"
"Yes, here too, we do not waste," answered the Rabbi. "What we do is save all the foreskins, and when we have enough we actually send them to the IRS."
"The IRS!?", gasped the auditor in disbelief.
"Ah, yes," replied the Rabbi, "the IRS. And about once a year, they send us a little prick like you."
-s. |
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