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Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 1415
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 9:24 am: | 
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I'm going to rant a bit here.
I left early yesterday to pick up the kiddos. Got in around 7:30, left around 2:30. I wanted to get them from daycare so the teachers could get home as soon as possible. Fewer kids = more teachers can go home while the roads don't suck.
This morning I came in a bit late so I could drop the kids off later than normal. I knew there would be teachers there at 7ish (when they are normally dropped off) but figured there wouldn't be many kids which would cause MY kids to be very unhappy. So I dropped them off at 8, and although there were still very few kids there it wasn't too bad.
So I have 2 issues:
1. Why are other parents so inconsiderate as to pick up their kids at the very last minute on a snowy day? I realize many people commute (including my husband) and for them it doesn't matter how much snow is on the ground, mass transit will get them home. But some of these teachers drive, some take the bus, some get picked up. Some have kids who are being let out of school early as well. You would think parents would have enough consideration for the staff to try to get their kids out of their so the teachers can get home.
2. I left early figuring my company would let everyone go around 3. They didn't. I came in late expecting them to maybe have a delayed opening. They didn't. I'm fortunate to have a flexible boss who understands. But how inconsiderate of the company not to let its people go a couple of hours early to try to prevent accidents? Or understand it might take longer to get to work? Or that many schools were let out early or had a delayed opening and parents might have to pick their kids up?
I know all of the reverse sides of my rants (sometimes we have meetings and can't get the kids, company doesn't want to lose 2 hours of work...). But give me a friggin' break.
Rant over.
Oh and by the way I got in at 8:30 and was one of the first people here. Now it is 9:30. Where is everyone? So glad I made the effort to be here at a reasonable time. |
algebra2
Supporter
Username: Algebra2
Post Number: 3011
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 9:39 am: |
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I hear you. Many bosses don't quite get the "big picture". Child care, sick kids, and snow days are a sore subject around my office. Boss doesn't want to hear about it. I think his feeling is that I should get all those issues worked out so they don't affect him at all.
Today I am home with a sick little boy. This kid hasn't been out sick from school in over two years -- we've been very lucky. Anyway, I had to tell boss (and his wife, don't ask ...) that I was sick and had the stomache flu -- I had to make it seem like I was staying home as a favor to them (by not getting them sick). Once my son was sick and I had to pick him up at daycare and boss-wife's question was "Don't you have help at hoime who could do that?" Ugh. Anyway, at least with my boss, he just doesn't get it. |
cookiecutter
Citizen
Username: Cookiecutter
Post Number: 26
Registered: 5-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 10:25 am: |
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I also understand what you are going through. I feel a responsibility to my family first, but of course to my work. I feel torn by the need to get my kids out of school and home safely and to be at my desk for my clients and employers while the office is still open.
I have been at the same firm for fifteen years and we've had two snow days. My kids go nuts when they hear this statistic. It comes down to an employer giving you personal days and you making the call to use them to run your life. Making up the time in some manner, late nights or weekends is what you have to do.
The problem has gotten a little better for me because more women with children have joined my company. When you have female upper level employees with children they demand certain things from their male collegues and give them a reality check. But the bottomline is that you have to get the job on your desk done.
The flexibilty of my office has allowed me to come and go when schools close and when the weather makes getting to the office at 9:00 impossible. I know I am fortuneate and I really add this factor into the equasion when I tally my salary, which could have been higher if I worked in the city.
Bosses may not always get it but you are protected by the law with personal days. You just have to use them in March rather than at the beach in August. |
sportsnut
Citizen
Username: Sportsnut
Post Number: 1756
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 10:26 am: |
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Two "schools" of thought on this from my own personal experience.
I work for a large company (for how much longer I'm not sure) and they are very family friendly as is my immediate boss. Yesterday they closed the office at 2:00 which was shocking considering the condition of the roads at that time. Last week we had a delayed opening on Friday (Thursday?) due to the snow. The kind of work I do doesn't require me to be in the office. As long as I have an internet connection I'm good to go. If you need time to take care of a sick child you take it. I requested part-time to take care of my son last year and it was granted. The tax VP told me to do whatever I needed and just to let him know.
In contrast my wife's employer sounds very much like yours (algebra). She is expected to be at her desk at 8 am regardless. She is not permitted to work from home and had to code yesterday as a time-off day. I have taken my son to every dr/dentist appointment for the last five years because she cannot take the time to do it.
She typically gets home around 6:30 and is back on her computer at 8 or taking phone calls from overseas. Her employer's philosophy is that they pay well and they expect 110% from their employees.
I agree that people need to see the big picture and the impact that it has on employee morale, but some will never get it.
I think that kind of explains why some parents are not there to pick their children up early. They don't have any options. |
Phenixrising
Citizen
Username: Phenixrising
Post Number: 440
Registered: 9-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 10:44 am: |
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1. Why are other parents so inconsiderate as to pick up their kids at the very last minute on a snowy day?
Unless you know their means of commuting (car, bus, NJT) there ARE delays to be expected and "picking up on time" may be a problem that CAN't be helped. Once I was stuck on a train and had my older son walk to the school to pick-up his younger son after calling on my cellphone from the train. I "thought" I left at a "reasonable" time.
I'm fortunate to have a flexible boss who understands. But how inconsiderate of the company not to let its people go a couple of hours early to try to prevent accidents? Or understand it might take longer to get to work?
Like algebra2 stated, "not all bosses are so understanding. " Just yesterday, a fellow co-worker from another department complained that her boss called a meeting at 4:00 PM! She lives almost an 1 1/2 hours away and is a single mother with 1 son. She was so upset (and the boss KNEW this). 
It's great to work in an environment where employers are "family friendly". But unfortunately, not everyone is so lucky these days. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 1167
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 10:58 am: |
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I've seen the most change in my workplaces when working fathers have had to run out/be home for childcare reasons. I absolutely do not believe that we will see consistent change on these policies until both father and mothers request/demand them. Until then, he or she who can do the most days/hours will be viewed as the better employee.
When I had a middle aged, unmarried, childless boss, she was awful on this. My current, middle aged married boss -- with at home wife -- is better at accepting these things, but not like a guy who had to pull his childcare weight. On the other hand, one of my peers is a guy who has to take for kid reasons and he's viewed as a saint! And, it helps me get flexibility... |
Bob K
Supporter
Username: Bobk
Post Number: 7771
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 11:00 am: |
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Child care is tough on commuters. Maybe a year ago I was on a train back to MW for what turned out to be the commute from Hell. As soon as the conductor announced, "Folks, we are going to be here for quite awhile" half the passengers started frantic cell phone calls to try to arrange for friends, relatives and neighbors to pick up their rugrats and house apes from daycare. Thank God for cell phones, but I know some people aren't lucky enough to have a back up plan. |
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 714
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 11:25 am: |
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Ditto to all of the above (some of which are contradictory!).
My problem at work is less my boss than my co-workers, some of whom (believe it or not) report to me (not directly - through another level or two even! I'm their grand-boss!). The unhappily childless nearing middle-aged ones are the worst. There is a LOT of gossip and resentment about mothers who take time off. Dads who take time off for their kids tend to get a pass for some reason. (the gossipers all smoke though - and lose a lot of time to that and also to this and other vicious office gossip, but that's another story.)
I'm like what cookiecutter described - "When you have female upper level employees with children they demand certain things from their male collegues and give them a reality check. " I guess that's me. I'm sort of upper-level, and I take the time off when I need it, damn the torpedoes. Yesterday I cancelled a meeting and worked at home for example, because I didn't want to miss picking up my kid when the schools closed (I work waaaay up the parkway).
My boss is NOT 100% cool about this - let me be plain - but he also recognizes that I could not easily be replaced, at least not at the salary that I make. I think he also supports the concept of family-work balance on an intellectual level, even if it doesn't seem that he's fully internalized it. So far it has not been a huge issue, although there is definitely a slight chill in the air when stuff like this happens.
The ones who adore my attitude are the people who report to me who have kids. To some degree I've put my own skin on the line for their sakes. For my own too - I'm not being selfless here! But if it were just to my own benefit, I might be a bit less bold.
Bottom line to wendyn - I know you know this already, but I dobut that parents are generally being inconsiderate. They honestly feel that they can't get away. The job market isn't great in most industries at the moment, and people are scared. |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 1168
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 11:30 am: |
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Those of you who are working mothers, and the dad also works -- doesn't the working father do some of this, sometimes?
I really think that so long as working mothers are always the one to stay home, leave early etc. it's not going to change. The pink collar thing... |
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 715
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 11:34 am: |
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Yes - my husband takes care of this stuff at least as much as I do. Possibly more - he has a job with a very flexible schedule, although when he has commitments they are quite firm and unmovable.
I think women "feel" it more though. As I said, in my office the dads seem to get a pass - "Oh isn't he a great, supportive dad" seems to be the attitude, whereas for women it's "can you believe that cow is taking time off for her brats again? Sheesh, are we paying her to be a mom? When I have kids I'll NEVER treat MY co-workers that way." I'm exaggerating obviously - but not that much. |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 1419
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 11:41 am: |
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You are right Cathy, I do know that. My husband is in a new job and doesn't have that flexible feeling, even though he gets 2 weeks more vacation than I do. And to be honest I don't have a backup pickup plan myself, mainly because I have fortunately never needed it. I am sure that will bite me on the ••• at some point.
My company is actually pretty family friendly, and my job fairly flexible. So I will stop my complaining and get some work done! |
Amie Brockway-Metcalf
Citizen
Username: Amie
Post Number: 180
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 12:18 pm: |
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Cynicalgirl, we're perfectly at 50/50, but it's easier for us because both have an understanding, family-guy boss and company--as a matter of a fact, it's the same guy! (We work about 100 feet from each other.) One of us works the early shift (7:30-4ish) and picks up the kid, the other drops him off and works late. We're very lucky. |
Rick B
Citizen
Username: Ruck1977
Post Number: 488
Registered: 8-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 1:01 pm: |
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I agree with everything being said...however, isn't it the daycare's responsibility to have some policy in place, rather than leaving it up to the kindness of its clients? Day care costs and arm and a leg, and another leg, not to mention how some of them bill if you show up late. I just don't know how many people (in situations like yesterday) are thinking about the wellfare of the teachers in the daycare.
Now, if the daycare were to call you at 9am and say, we are going to need to close early (at 2pm) so please arrange for this weather emergency. They are taking care of their interest.
As for the work place, I agree, these types of things should be taken. If you have to leave, just leave. If someone is going to fire you because you need to look out for the wellfare of you family, perhaps its not that great of a place to work in teh first place. IMHO...a job is a job, something you get paid to do. Your family is your livelihood...
Then again, I wouldn't have said this a couple years ago when I was dog and childless. |
Melba
Citizen
Username: Melbaj
Post Number: 2
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 1:38 pm: |
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My coworker accused me of not being dedicated enough for a project because I needed to leave work at 7:45pm. I told him my family was waiting on me. He said he'd like to go hang out with his friends too. I was so pissed at him comparing taking care of a 1 yr old to hanging out with his friends. If we didn't have a mortgage to pay for, I'm sure I would have quit that night.
I put in quality time NOT quantity time at work. I'd been in the office since 9:30am. My brain was fried by then anyway. I've come to the conclusion that we have different philosophies about how work should be done. He'll stay here all night and over weekends while I'm a more efficient worker.
My husband and I share the baby responsibilites 50/50. He goes to work early so he can pick her up in the evenings. I drop her off and start my workday later.
I've figured out my coworker gives everyone grief who actually leaves work before 6pm, male or female. He should try getting into work before 11am. I thank God I don't report to him! |
Cynicalgirl
Citizen
Username: Cynicalgirl
Post Number: 1170
Registered: 9-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 2:10 pm: |
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My husband and I have varied, depending on who was working where, transportation, etc. He got good at the doctor runs, but he loathes school-related events and issues (which I like), partly cuz he's quiet, partly cuz he hates bureaucracies of all forms.
That said, I've always had the "bigger" job but oddly enough I find that the higher you go the less you get typecast for taking the time. Plus, sometimes I just plain lie (as, don't tell them that my reason for leaving is kid related; somehow, personal medical, taxman and similar sounds better to traditional managers than does child-related).
I still find that more mothers than fathers take off, even when jobs are sort of equal. So, I was curious... |
susan1014
Supporter
Username: Susan1014
Post Number: 408
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 1, 2005 - 2:17 pm: |
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I do much more than 50% of the during the work day kiddie stuff, mainly because I work in NJ, and commute by car, while my husband takes the train to the city and is hostage to its schedule. Also because more of my work than his can be done from home, so I can leave early and then do the 9-11 PM shift to catch up (OK, yesterday it went later than that, I'm afraid!).
Happily I'm in a flexible enough job situation to get away with it, although I'm sure that I have one or two childless coworkers who assume that I'm taking advantage of them (believe me, I'm not!). |
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