| Author | Message | ||
     themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 1543 Registered: 12-2001 |
There are a lot of buzz words that let you know you are dealing with someone who is striving to make a big impression - like "bizdev". I had a meeting with someone a while back who kept saying "bizdev" until I had to finally ask what it meant. In short, it meant she wanted to find out what profitable activities she and her superfluous ecommerce people could possibly highjack from me to forestall getting laid off. They got laid off. Today I rode on the train across from a guy who was on a conference call. He was using a style of psuedo-academic business talk that involves an affected stammer at the beginning of each sentence, as if he's birthing a very complex notion. He was cupping his hands under this notion even on the train while he spoke - "if, if, if I can just, If I can just introduce a question here? That is, how, how, given the the paramaters that we are working within in this contruct? How will we get feedback from, from, those folks in the field who, who..." etc. His big idea was using a "whiteboard" and having some "face to faces" with those "folks". Does that mean using a dry erase board from staples and having a meeting? If I were on the line I would have asked him if that's what he meant, and what color pens should be used, in his view. Any favorite "biz" cliches? | ||
| D. Moderator Username: Dave Post Number: 5472 Registered: 4-1998  |
Thirteen Leading Synonyms for "Deliverables" in 2005 BY ANGELA GENUSA - - - - Shuffleables Stapleables Shreddables Tweakables Postponeables Blameables Whineables Deleteables Paybackables Retoolables Hurlables Buryables Dropkickables | ||
| Innisowen Citizen Username: Innisowen Post Number: 561 Registered: 3-2004 |
Paradigm shift Tweak the presentation Realign resources Redeploy non-critical resources resource constraints under/over-resourced strategic alignment balanced scorecard "at the end of the day" outsourced/insourced off-shore, off-shoring, off-shored remote-shore, remote-shoring, remote-shored value-added value proposition I could go on... but let me barf first... | ||
| shoshannah Citizen Username: Shoshannah Post Number: 765 Registered: 7-2002 |
repurpose | ||
| tulip Citizen Username: Braveheart Post Number: 2069 Registered: 3-2004 |
clearly | ||
| Innisowen Citizen Username: Innisowen Post Number: 569 Registered: 3-2004 |
vision statement, mission statement (came to me once I barfed, after my previous post) "do-wells," critical success factors business process innovation | ||
| shoshannah Citizen Username: Shoshannah Post Number: 766 Registered: 7-2002 |
thought-leaders | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 1544 Registered: 12-2001 |
Do-wells? | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 1760 Registered: 10-2001 |
"quonsett hut mentality" Take aways We have to parking lot that issue Hard stop I could go on and on. When I first joined AT&T almost ten years ago one of the things I was given was a booklet of acronyms, a booklet! Bottome line is people use these terms to sound smart and mask the fact that they really have no clue as to what is going on. I'll be the first to admit I am no genius, but I like to think of myself as a smart guy. As many of you may know AT&T is being acquired by SBC. For many people here in NJ that will mean the loss of our jobs. Yesterday Ed Whitacre of SBC came to NJ to answer questions about the acquisition. People in the auditorium actually applauded when the CEOs of both companies stated that this was a "win-win" (another favorite) for every one involved. During the past ten years I have been through numerous "win-win" situations and somehow always come out on the losing end. I sat and watched as CEO after CEO came in and took what was once an American icon and ruin it. Armstrong ruined the company and walked away with millions by purchasing cable companies at inflated values. No sooner than we bought it he turned around and said the "next logical step" was to spin it off. Then they sold us a bill of goods that spinning off the most rapidly growing portion of our business would be a "win-win", so we jettisoned wireless. Look what happened there. The company was worth less than half what it IPO'd for before it was mercifully acquired. John Zeigles, former AT&T man cared more about updating the gulf-stream airplanes than he did about running the company. So there we sat yesterday listening to two multi-millionaires (who stand to make millions more) tell us, the people who will be unemployed in 18 months, that we should feel good about this. And people clapped. Like sheep to the slaughter. The ultimate indignity was when someone from the audience had the audacity to ask, "Which one of you single digit handicappers will be hosting the AT&T Pebble Beach Pro-Am next year." And if that wasn't bad enough the two of them actually took 15 minutes to answer. Rant over. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1172 Registered: 9-2003  |
Here in semi-IT they used to talk about "bandwidth." Now it's "cycles." It's all disgusting, ersatz language. | ||
| Parkbench87 Citizen Username: Parkbench87 Post Number: 1795 Registered: 7-2001  |
Sportsnut, I feel bad for the AT&T employees. I work on the other side of the equation Verizon(previously Bell Atlantic, NYNEX and New York Telephone). I'm not sure if they realized it but AT&T's demise was foretold from the minute Judge Greene signed off on the Modified Final Judgment back in 1983. They got the short end of the stick (Long Distance) and the Bells got the most important part (the Local Network into the customers home). | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 5712 Registered: 1-2003  |
bandwidth and cycles are real things. Are they used metaphorically? sportsnut, you have my sympathy, because, having worked at Bellcore, AT&T, and Lucent for 15 years, I know what it's like there. I think people use funny language to sound smart and even unapproachable. | ||
| Valentine Michael Smith Citizen Username: Umbert Post Number: 96 Registered: 3-2004  |
mathamatize. | ||
| algebra2 Supporter Username: Algebra2 Post Number: 3021 Registered: 5-2001  |
yap-yap and jibber-jabber | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1434 Registered: 9-2002 |
Fave overused phrase: outside the box Fave stupid corporate tactic: Every few years my company spends thousands of dollars implementing a new personal performance gauge. It is always called something different (this year it is PMP for Performance Management Program), it looks the same as the last one, yet it screws us out of more money. We always have a rating system based on 5 levels: - professional-•••-kisser (great!) - sometime-suckup (good) - work-extra-hours-to-get-noticed (average) - do-your-job-and-go-home (fair) - manager-hates-you(poor) So this year they told us that if you were "good" last year, you would be "average" this year because they were changing the way people are rated. But don't take it in a bad way because everyone is going down one level (oh except directors and higher who are judged soley on their suck-up factor, not their performance). And yes, you will get less money, but that's not a bad thing. And we still value your "work ethic". And please work harder so you can get an extra 1% in your raise this year. Whoopie! | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1435 Registered: 9-2002 |
Oh and our last CEO got $50 million to basically get kicked out of our company after costing us $500 million in government fines thus eliminating raises and bonuses for every lower level employee for a minimum of 2 years. | ||
| SO Refugee Citizen Username: So_refugee Post Number: 23 Registered: 2-2005  |
I have an Exec who is the cliche' master...his favorite question is "what is your utopia?" How about you getting fired? Honorable mentions Incentivize This isn't rocket science Down and dirty And my personal favorite that in itself is not a cliche' but ranks highly just for its ignorance is.....irregardless. | ||
| Innisowen Citizen Username: Innisowen Post Number: 578 Registered: 3-2004 |
Yup, it all sounds familiar to me: The biennial change to the performance appraisal (performance management program), 360 reviews, strategic vectors, results/performance-based compensation, at-risk pay, pay for performance (except for the CEO and senior execs who get paid increasingly higher multiples of employees' average salaries, plus options, plus forgiveable loans, plus golden handshakes, etc.). And the beat goes on, and the beat goes on--- la dee da dee dee, la dee da dee da-uh. | ||
| ML Supporter Username: Ml1 Post Number: 2319 Registered: 5-2002  |
actionable | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1173 Registered: 9-2003 |
Yep, Tom, metaphors about human availability for meetings, work, etc. Not the machines/software. People describing themselves in machine terms. |
