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Message |
    
sbenois
Supporter
Username: Sbenois
Post Number: 13312
Registered: 10-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 7, 2005 - 9:19 pm: | 
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For those of you lucky enough to have a copy of the official school district calendar given out this year, please turn your attention to the month of March. Shakespeare would not be happy.
As you will see, for some inexplicable reason, March 15th does not exist! That's right folks, the IDES OF MARCH has been completely eliminated from the calendar!
Let's see March 12th, March 13th, March 14th, March 16th.
Is this a problem? Nah. Because the enterprising calendar makers, in an obvious effort to keep 31 days in this month, graced us with Saturday March 20th and Sunday March 20th.
Who says a day only lasts 24 hours?
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J. Crohn
Supporter
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 2093
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Monday, March 7, 2005 - 10:42 pm: |
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Silly Sbenois, what you fail to realize is that religious Jews have taken over the school district by stealth in response to the recent music controversy.
Irritated by the fiendish denial of his G-d-given right to light a fifty foot menorah on the front lawn of Columbia High School, Rabbi Menachem Schmendrick cut off his beard and payes, donned stylish business attire, and applied for a job in the district's Office of Calendrical Approximations. Once hired, he proceeded to alter the school calendar to subordinate it to the lunar Jewish calendar.
Eliminating the atavistically pagan Ides was simply the first step--but it also made room for a covert nod to the fact that March contains the Hebrew month of Adar, which this year is repeated so that we have an Adar I and an Adar II.
So you see, the double March 20 was a signal to those of us in the know, that we are set to take over the school district fairly soon. At which point we will forbid the goyim from eating pork in school because the smell of bacon is an enticement to abandon the faith of our fathers. |
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 586
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 7, 2005 - 11:36 pm: |
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Actually what really happened is this (although I love your version too Jennifer):
The powers that be know that out of the approximately 5 times I've addressed the board publicly, I've complained at least twice about the absence of all religious holidays on the calendar (except for the ones on which we're closed). I won't get into the all the detail, but suffice it to say that it could be perceived as a mini Christmas music imbroglio.
Little did I suspect that this board and the administration would stoop to punish my outspokeness in such a petty and hurtful way. MY BIRTHDAY IS THE IDES OF MARCH!!!!! (Really!) |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 2090
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 6:38 am: |
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et tu Sbenois?
Everyone knows theres a double March 20 on the school calendar this year so we can have Palm Sunday twice. And a double March 17 would have strained the resources at St. James Gate to the point of breaking.
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wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 589
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 7:52 pm: |
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Hank, shame on you for ignoring my post. Birthdays are extremely important to me and I expect an apology forthwith. |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 2093
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 8:03 pm: |
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Dear Wendy,
Since your birthday is the Ides of March, I am a week away from passing along birthday greetings. If it was May, July or October 8th, we'd also be a week away from the Ides. If your birthday was on the Ides of any other month, Id be two days closer to wishing you a Happy Birthday since the Ides of the other months is the 13th. Oh and March 15 also happens to be the day the turkey buzzards return to Hinckley, OH (their version of the swallows returning to Capistrano). March 14 is Einstein's Birthday and National Pi Day..figure that one out. So Wendy, Id be jumping the gun to acknowledge your birthday a week early, but Happy Birthweek nonetheless. |
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 590
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 8:15 pm: |
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Yes figured out Pi (3.14....and all that). Thanks for the Birthweek greetings, even though I claim the entire month of March as my own. Nones, Ides and all else before and after. I thought my post was erudite, witty and cute....that's what I meant. I'll take the Birthweek greetings anyway. (Andrew Jackson too.) |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 2096
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 8:25 pm: |
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well Wendy, I dont know about erudite but it was urbane.
March is also Womens History Month, National Frozen Food Month, National Nutrition Month (no that doesnt necessarily balance out Frozen Food Month) and Music in Our Schools Month (no mention of whether its religious music though). I suppose we can make it Wendy Month on MOL too if Dave is willing to issue a proclamation. Im still holding out on the birthday greetings however. I will serve no line before it's time.
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anon
Citizen
Username: Anon
Post Number: 1682
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 8:39 pm: |
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Wendy:
If I were you I would be pleased to not be getting another year older this year. |
J. Crohn
Supporter
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 2094
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 8:42 pm: |
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"I suppose we can make it Wendy Month on MOL too if Dave is willing to issue a proclamation."
Not so fast, little buster.
Tomorrow is my birthday.
I am, in my beneficence, willing to share credit for the goodness of this month with Wendy, Albert Einstein, and frozen foods.
(I am an opponent of segregation and therefore do not believe in "Women's History Month".) |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 2098
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 9:12 pm: |
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little buster? Ive been called a ______ buster, but never "little"...thank you, I suppose.
well J., so you dont feel left out, not only is tomorrow your birthday, its also Barbie's birthday and National Crabmeat Day...make of it all what you will. Having never met you, I cant extend the same personal birthday salutations to you that I have so warmly passed along to Wendy, but Happy Birthday Eve. |
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 592
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 9:26 pm: |
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A very happy birthday to you Jennifer. I am honored to share March with you. Especially since you're born on the side of the month which makes you a Pisces.
"Happy Birthday Eve" ??? Got the Pi, came back with Nones. What the heck is this about??? |
Hank Zona
Citizen
Username: Hankzona
Post Number: 2100
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 9:45 pm: |
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eve...as in the day before, not as in Arden. |
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 593
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 8, 2005 - 10:28 pm: |
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Oh....... |
J. Crohn
Supporter
Username: Jcrohn
Post Number: 2095
Registered: 3-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 9, 2005 - 10:52 am: |
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For future reference, Little Buster, try:
"Happy Erev Birthday." At least Jews will know what you mean.
And if you want to get completely Hebraic about it, there's always "Erev Yom Huledet Same'ach," which should elicit polite and incomprehending smiles all around.
(Thanks for the birthday felicitations, all. I am rejoicing in not being dead yet.) |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5771
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 9, 2005 - 2:01 pm: |
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Happy birthday! (I can say that today.) |
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 769
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 9, 2005 - 2:06 pm: |
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Happy Birthday, J.! |
Andrea Weisbard
Citizen
Username: Njnetsfan
Post Number: 83
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Friday, March 11, 2005 - 11:36 am: |
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Wendy,
Not so fast, my middle sister claims the month of March as her birth month as well. her birthday is next Saturday the 19th.
Happy b-day 4 days early |
wendy
Supporter
Username: Wendy
Post Number: 598
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Friday, March 11, 2005 - 12:03 pm: |
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Thanks Andrea. I think March is a big enough month for Jennifer, your sister and me to share. When your birthday month rolls around be sure to post it so I can wish you Happy birth month as well. Oh and happy (now belated) birthday wishes to Jennifer and future birthday wishes to your sister. |
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