| Author |
Message |
    
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 807
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 10:16 am: |     |
Something that I do a lot, and wonder whether others do it too, is what I would call "advanced lurking."
This happens when you type out a long, complicated, (sometimes even) well thought-out response to somebody else's post. Multiple revisions, working on the language, getting it just right, etc. However, at the last minute, you don't hit the "Post" button.
Sometimes this is smart - for example you're about to say something that will get you banned.  Or you're just drifting the thread too much (something I have a tendency to do IRL as well as OL - one thought leads to another, etc ...).
Other times, you either lose interest or wonder whether anybody else would care much about what you have to say. Or worked out whatever it is and no longer feel the need to make it public.
Do other people do this? I'm curious about how people interact with the board. I don't care if I'm a small minority in what I do - I'll do what I do whether anybody else does or not. But I am curious about what leads to this behavior in other people.
I'm also curious about "online caution", something that seems timely given all the bannings / discussions of bannings / etc. this week. When are you more cautious? When less cautious?
Also, do you lurk around a lot in some areas but only post in others? Why do you think that is? |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 1452
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 10:29 am: | |
I do this every day.
Most of the time due to thread drift or because my information is irrelivant or not helpful. Almost never afraid of banning, that would probably be good for my MOL habit.
I tend to lurk in education but not post too often since I live in Millburn. I also lurk in Reading but don't post because although I aspire to read better books I have a tendancy to read trashy romances. |
C Bataille
Citizen
Username: Nakaille
Post Number: 1888
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 10:43 am: | |
A funny name for it but I definitely do what you describe, Cathy. I do think I do more of it since I started using my real name, which I think is fine. The funny thing to me is that sometimes just formulating the lengthy response, even without posting it, satisfies me in that it helps me clarify my own thoughts or enables me to "vent without consequences."
Cathy |
sac
Supporter
Username: Sac
Post Number: 1931
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 3:16 pm: | |
Yes, I do this frequently. |
Crazyguggenheim
Citizen
Username: Crazyguggenheim
Post Number: 778
Registered: 2-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 4:00 pm: | |
Call me crazy, but I've done it 4 times already on this thread |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 5158
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 4:31 pm: | |
Yes, especially when I find what I intended to say is unclear, a repetition of what someone else has said or worded in such a way as to offend another poster unnecessarily.
Usually, I will just delete the post in its entirety; but,sometimes I will rephrase it to make it more acceptable.
|
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 364
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 5:07 pm: | |
Yup. I do it too. For all of the reasons listed by others. In particular, I want to try to keep my posts as "neutral" as possible because I'm not interested in catching sh*# from anyone. I do this for enjoyment and entertainment, not for confrontation or criticism.
I like your name for it. Another one spontaneously popped in to my mind while thinking about what to post: Selective Lurking? |
Andrea Weisbard
Citizen
Username: Njnetsfan
Post Number: 102
Registered: 6-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 5:24 pm: | |
I do it all the time, I do it the most on this site, more than anyother message board I frequent.
|
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 814
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 5:36 pm: | |
Hmmm, mostly real-name posters. Coincidence?
Are you more cautious when you are identifiable, do you think? I'm pretty sure this makes a big difference for me - one reason I don't like using an alias (Also I'm most comfortable just being me - I tried out an alias for a short time but it never "felt" right - kind of like wearing somebody else's clothes). |
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 815
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 5:38 pm: | |
Correction - I surmise that most of you are real-name posters. I have no idea if your names are really yours (or your initials) except for Crazy Guggenheim, who of course is really himself. |
Carrie Avery
Citizen
Username: Carrie33
Post Number: 201
Registered: 1-2005
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 6:05 pm: | |
"Selective Lurking", mmm, makes it sound like we are peeping Toms or Spies in a Chat room. Isn't this how this sight got in trouble, in that someone was "lurking" and found something they didn't like to see? I browse a bit, read alot, often times have a response and don't post. When I do post,I often go "neutral" as well. It seems safer. Sometimes when- or if- I don't go neutral, I walk away wondering what kind of response I will get. It's kind of funny, in a way, this attachment to a chat room, I wonder how many other states do this. |
Joan
Supporter
Username: Joancrystal
Post Number: 5163
Registered: 5-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 6:27 pm: | |
Cathy:
A lot of people on this board who may seem anonymous really aren't. Since so many posters on MOL live and/or work in SO/M, it is highly likely that most of our anonymous posters would have dropped enough hints in their posts for at least some of us to know who they are. Thus, I think everyone on this board should post as if they were real name posters.
|
Cathy
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 816
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 7:28 pm: | |
Joan:
True. You have a point.
So what makes some people more cautious than others? Have any of you cautious types ever "blown it" and said stuff you later regretted? (I know I have, but nothing serious enough to come close to being banned. Just ill-advised.)
What is it that tips you over the line, if you ever are so tipped? Is it being, ahem, tipsy? (sorry I couldn't resist that ... ) |
Pizzaz
Citizen
Username: Pizzaz
Post Number: 1622
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 8:11 pm: | |
Try, tip-toe through the tulips.  |
bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 1031
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 8:12 pm: | |
I got banned once. I knew I would be when I hit the "post this message" button, but I really wanted to say what I felt at the time.
This is my real name. It is how most people address me. How are "real names" deciphered? Is Wendyn more real than bets (no offense, wendy, I just scrolled up to find the first "real" name that didn't include a last)?
And yes, I often hit the back button and do not follow through on posts. I guess I don't want the flak, or to be construed wrongly (intentions, that is). Advanced lurker, ay? Great name for a rock band. |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 74
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 8:21 pm: | |
Interesting points raised.
Is it really "lurking" if you look at the board to get information, recommendations, etc.? "Lurking" sounds so sinister. |
Meandtheboys
Citizen
Username: Meandtheboys
Post Number: 367
Registered: 12-2004
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 8:24 pm: | |
Perhaps a definition of "lurking" would be in order. I always thought it meant you looked but didn't participate. Thus, "selective lurking" would be participating sometimes and just lurking the rest of the time. |
susan1014
Supporter
Username: Susan1014
Post Number: 454
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 9:01 pm: | |
I start to post and bail nearly daily. Sometimes the post isn't worth finishing (repetitive, low content). Other times I decide a given debate just isn't for me. Most often I delete if it doesn't meet the standard of civility that I try to maintain. Occasionally I decide something is too personal.
Like many of us, I've given enough clues that those who know me well could figure it out (my child's grade and school, info about my street, etc.), but not so much that everyone knows (leaving me the space to discuss fertility treatments, politics and child rearing philosophy with some sense of privacy).
So my philosophy is to try to not say anything that I'd be too embarassed to be identified on. That leads to lots of deletions of my more sarcastic, pointed or silly remarks! |
bets
Supporter
Username: Bets
Post Number: 1035
Registered: 6-2001
| | Posted on Monday, March 14, 2005 - 9:14 pm: | |
But may I guess - your birthday is Oct. 14?
(I'm probably wrong, but I see this sort of thing a lot, and have memorized the difference between my niece's b-day and her parent's anniversary date from her AIM name.) |
drewdix
Citizen
Username: Drewdix
Post Number: 856
Registered: 7-2001
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 9:07 am: | |
I adopt the same philosophy that I would if I were standing around with any of you talking about a topic at the Gate.
I listen (online: read), and if I have nothing to say (post) I don't say it (post it).
So if I do want to post something on MOL, it's nothing I wouldn't offer to anyone's face at the Gate.
Call it lurking, or whatever you want. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5859
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Tuesday, March 15, 2005 - 11:15 am: | |
ess, the term lurking has been used this way for years, in the context of online forums (fora?). Years before the web existed, we had newsgroups (which still exist) and lurking merely meant reading without participating. |
ess
Citizen
Username: Ess
Post Number: 77
Registered: 11-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 9:50 am: | |
Tom, I've heard the term used before, especially in the days of chat rooms (which I recall from very early days of AOL in the late 1980s - yikes).
I do understand the connotations, but it still has a sinister tone. In the real world, if we saw someone lurking, we'd probably get nervous, yes? |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5876
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 10:25 am: | |
Oh, you bet! |
jeffl
Supporter
Username: Jeffl
Post Number: 1043
Registered: 8-2001
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 10:44 am: | |
I've done it many times. Usually it's when I'm angry with one poster and I compose a response then realize that responding will only prolong a ridiculous argument or give the other person a platform for their ranting about a particular public figure. Most often it's those occasions that get my ire up, the anonymous poster who obviously has a vested interest in badmouthing someone. I get really pissed off at his/her need to be so nasty, I write an indignant response, plead for civility and understanding that public figures, both present and past, work their asses off for nothing...and then I don't hit Post for fear of continuing the thread. |
CLK
Supporter
Username: Clkelley
Post Number: 827
Registered: 6-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 10:54 am: | |
jeffl, that's smart ... I do that a lot too. Of course, sometimes, I go ahead an post and live to regret it. (both for feeling "preachy" and for adding more fuel to the fire.) |
Wendyn
Supporter
Username: Wendyn
Post Number: 1460
Registered: 9-2002
| | Posted on Wednesday, March 16, 2005 - 11:19 am: | |
I've had a non-MOL email response up on my computer all morning. I've modified it about 100 times and am trying to decide whether it is worth sending it out. |
AlleyGater
Citizen
Username: Alleygater
Post Number: 151
Registered: 10-2004
| | Posted on Thursday, March 17, 2005 - 12:08 am: | |
I've done it a few times, but I KNOW I should do it more. :-) |
las
Citizen
Username: Las
Post Number: 77
Registered: 10-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 10:33 am: | |
I am a habitual/advanced/serial lurker of some kind.
It has taken me over a week to get the courage up to send this. |
Tom Reingold
Supporter
Username: Noglider
Post Number: 5985
Registered: 1-2003
| | Posted on Thursday, March 24, 2005 - 10:51 am: | |
The thread in the education section about why the education section is such a flashpoint got me angrier than just about any thread ever has. I was cooking up my responses in my head, and then Dave closed the thread. Good thing, because I probably would have incited a lot more heat.
Generally speaking, when someone says something hypocritical or boneheaded, most people can see it for what it is. Correcting the person is unlikely to do much good. Better to let the bad comment stand on its own. |
beppolina
Citizen
Username: Beppolina
Post Number: 82
Registered: 3-2002
| | Posted on Saturday, March 26, 2005 - 8:50 pm: | |
There's a great French expression for something very similar: esprit de l'escalier. Literally, "inspiration on the staircase" -- you've just stormed out of someone's apartment or office & are heading down the stairs when Poof! -- exactly the right pithy, cutting, witty retort pops into your head. But of course it's too late. And you're too French and too cool to go back upstairs, barge into the room, and say "And another thing!...."
Or you just keep your pithy, cutting, witty post to yourself. |
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