| Author | Message | ||
     Mark Fuhrman Citizen Username: Mfpark Post Number: 1448 Registered: 9-2001  |
Well, the tube is out, and she will die within 1 to 2 weeks. I really don't know what to think about this--I am very torn and wonder what others think about it all. | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 1584 Registered: 12-2001 |
If I were the husband, I'd give in and move away and say "well, she's dead to me". I wouldn't spend the rest of my life battling about it and being reviled and threatened. I can see why her parents are taking the position that they are, amd if they want to work on her therapy, let them. But it sounds like a long shot: "After hearing testimony from doctors and neurologists, the Florida courts ruled that the cardiac arrest robbed her brain of "all but the most instinctive of neurological functions" and that there was no hope of her regaining consciousness. " | ||
| LibraryLady(ncjanow) Supporter Username: Librarylady Post Number: 2315 Registered: 5-2001  |
Two quotes in conjuction today really disturbed me. "She's is not terminal..she will live 30-40 more years" "Admittedly, she has the cognitive function of a 6-11 month old." If her parents win this lawsuit, what happens after they are gone? Who takes care of her? And how much is this care costing, perhaps depriving others of care who might actually recover? This woman died 7 years ago. Let her leave this world in peace now. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 449 Registered: 10-2002  |
If people have the right to put a living will together requesting they not be kept alive in a vegetative state like this, I don't see what's so unusual about this woman's husband requesting it. She's been in this state for over a decade hasn't she? Unfortunately, she didn't have a living will and her husband is left to speak for her. I guess I don't have much of a choice without really knowing much about this guy to believe that he's telling the truth - that she didn't want/wouldn't want to be kept alive this way. I think I would feel a responsibility to my spouse's wishes and allow them to die and not continue to suffer like this. It would be a painfully excruciating decision, but after a decade and making every effort for life with the doctors, I think it would be the right decision. (This is painful to even think about as I write this). Given what doctors are confirming (that she'll never regain cognitive ability), I don't find it compelling to keep her going this way. Sometimes, it's ok to let go. I think what bothers me more is the extremists who "protest" that this is an execution of sorts - as if this isn't painful enough for this family; they show absolutely no compassion at all. I hope this woman and the family she's leaving behind can finally have some peace. | ||
| Madden 11 Citizen Username: Madden_11 Post Number: 639 Registered: 12-2003 |
To peel away some of the emotion of this, if such a thing is possible, I think the bottom line is that her husband should have the final word. The way this woman is being used as a political football is absolutely despicable, worse than Elian Gonzalez by a long shot. I think letting her go is the right thing to do. The fact that she's not even capable of answering a yes or no question to decide her own fate tells us as much as we need to know about the severity of her condition. Having said that, isn't there a more humane way to do this than letting her starve to death? Over a period of weeks? What an unbelievably tragic situation, all around. | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 1587 Registered: 12-2001 |
Remember Karen Anne Quindlan (sp?) She lived for 10 more years, got no better, and died. | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2300 Registered: 5-2001 |
"Having said that, isn't there a more humane way to do this than letting her starve to death?" The ironic thing with this is that she was, from what I've read, anorexic or bulimic and that's what led to her heart attack. From what I recall, she and her husband were separated at the time, and in the past he has tried to divorce her. I think he has moved on with his life. | ||
| mjc Citizen Username: Mjc Post Number: 385 Registered: 10-2004 |
What a wrenching situation when a decision like this has to be made, worse yet when family can't support each other about it, and orders of magnitude worse when government and assorted partisans get involved. What to do other than pray for them and discuss? 1. Everyone who already has a living will, raise your hand. 2. All others run, don't walk, to your attorney or a convenient online resource and make a living will. Make sure anyone who might be left "in charge" knows you've written it and has a copy. Give your doctor a copy. Plead with your significant other(s) to make a living will too. Then hope no one ever needs to make use of them. | ||
| C Bataille Citizen Username: Nakaille Post Number: 1910 Registered: 5-2001 |
Having worked with terminally ill patients I have been told that "starving to death" particularly when you are not conscious, is actually not a horrific way to go. I'm told that sensation ceases along the way. A dreamy sort of state sets in and the end involves no struggle at all. This poor woman should have been let go of long ago. Please, speak with your spouses/partners or adult children and let them know your wishes as clearly as you can articulate them. If your wish is for all possible assistance forever, fine. Put something in writing, whatever you wish. Cathy | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 998 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm with Mark in that I really wasn't sure what to think. As a parent, I can understand the desire to keep her alive, in whatever state she is. Taking the emotional impulses away, she should be allowed to pass away. Cathy - thank you for reminding us all to consider a living will. It's so hard to consider the worst-case scenario, but it's worse to leave tyour loved ones to deal with the guilt and hard decisions when the patient hasn't spelled out his/her wishes. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5194 Registered: 5-2001 |
I wonder whether the parents have been keeping their daughter alive this long for their daughter's sake or for their own. It is awfully hard to bury a child but I think the time is long past the point at which these parents should have buried their's. It is time to finally allow everyone involved some closure to their considerable pain. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 69 Registered: 10-2003 |
Tomorrow will be the sixteenth anniversary of my mother's death. She should have died 17 1/2 months earlier, but the hospital inserted a feeding tube without my father's consent. Once in, it couldn't be removed without a court order. The court wouldn't order it. The Society For the Right to Die was her advocate, and we presented her journal wherein she wrote that she wouldn't tolerate any kind of life prolonging treatment, but hospital administrators argued that those words were written when the doctors thought she had a different disease, hence her wishes were irrelevent for the brain-dead situation she was currently in. Nobody in the world loved this woman more than me, and each time I visited her I'd lie against her in her bed and tell her it was okay to die. Every night for 17 1/2 months I would pray for her death and pray for her peace. And when that sunny Saturday morning came in 1989 when her lungs couldn't breathe any more, and the DNR order was in place, I watched as her body struggled for breath, and all I wanted to do was breathe into her mouth and fill up her lungs and keep her with me forever. I was twenty years old and wanted nothing more than to have my mom. But that was my wish, not hers. | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 1000 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las,
That brought tears to my eyes, I'm so sorry you lost your mother, you described her final moments and your feelings simply and beautifully. | ||
| just me fromsouthorange Supporter Username: Jmfromsorange Post Number: 1061 Registered: 7-2003 |
i've been following this case for the past 13 years or so. It is much more complicated then it appears. see the thread started concerning this case a week or so ago in the other soapbox area. | ||
| ajc Citizen Username: Ajc Post Number: 3605 Registered: 9-2001  |
"It is time to finally allow everyone involved some closure to their considerable pain." If anything, that decision should be left for her parents to decide. Where there's life there's hope... If anyone wants to think about considerable pain, try thinking about being forced under the law to watch one of your children starve to death. Furthermore, her husband is already remarried in common law, and has another wife and two children that he can starve to death if he feels so strong about playing God... | ||
| luv2cruise Citizen Username: Luv2cruise Post Number: 331 Registered: 12-2002 |
I disagree. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 70 Registered: 10-2003 |
ajc, suggesting he starve his family is disgraceful! Playing god is inserting the feeding tube to begin with and prolonging life when the body should have died. Terry's brain doesn't process pain the way a healthy brain does, so her experience will be quite different from what we think of as 'starving to death'. My mother's feeding tube kept her alive long enough for her weight to drop to 83 pounds (post mortem); her fingers and toes to turned blue from lack of oxygen; since she wasn't able to cough her lungs filled with fluid, and every day was a challenge to prevent her bed sores from spreading. My father ran out of money for her care so she was given up as a ward of the state, which meant taxpayer money was being used to keep her alive. I can tell you first hand we weren't playing god by trying to have her tube removed. In fact, one might argue god tried to take her when he killed her brain, but some overzealot hospital administrators got in his way. If you think it is godlike to remove a feeding tube, maybe they shouldn't be inserted in the first place. And Lydia, thank you for your kind words. | ||
| tjohn Citizen Username: Tjohn Post Number: 2960 Registered: 12-2001  |
Playing God? God gave his children the Garden of Eden. He didn't give us modern medicine. So Las is right. We play God every time a doctor saves somebody from an otherwise fatal event. Most of the time, this is beneficial. Sometimes it is not as in the case of people kept alive in a permanent vegetative state.. But let's not say we're playing God only when we don't want modern medicine to keep somebody alive. | ||
| gemini Citizen Username: Gemini Post Number: 397 Registered: 6-2001 |
I'm with Art on this one. Her family has even speculated that her husband may have tried to strangle her and that's what led to this. I also understand that they really don't know the extent of her brain damage. This is just from the little news I watched about this. BUt I empathize with the above posters, for sure. very Moving. | ||
| viva Citizen Username: Viva Post Number: 634 Registered: 5-2001 |
i suggest that anyone who has made up their mind in any direction go to this website and look at the videos "Terri's behavior does not meet the medical or statutory definition of persistent vegetative state. Terri responds to stimuli, tries to communicate verbally, follows limited commands, laughs or cries in interaction with loved ones, physically distances herself from irritating or painful stimulation and watches loved ones as they move around her. None of these behaviors are simple reflexes and are, instead, voluntary and cognitive. Though Terri has limitations, she does interact purposefully with her environment." http://www.terrisfight.org/ |
