| Author | Message | ||
     Monster© Supporter Username: Monster  Post Number: 3647 Registered: 7-2002  |
"Chuck Norris can unscramble an egg." "Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits." "Chuck Norris clogs the toilet when he pisses." "Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did." "Chuck Norris' cowboy boots are made from real cowboys." "If Chuck Norris is late, then time better slow the f*ck down" "Chuck Norris does not Tea-Bag the ladies, he Potato-sacks them" "Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse...horses are hung like Chuck Norris" "Chuck Norris can eat a Rubik's Cube, and poop it out solved" "Chuck Norris performs cold fusion in his left testicle, and nuclear fission in his right." "Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs." "When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isnÕt lifting himself up, heÕs pushing the Earth down." | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5051 Registered: 5-2001  |
Chuck Norris once ate a 3 pound steak in 45 minutes. 20 of the 45 minutes were spent wrestling the cow to the ground. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2471 Registered: 7-2003 |
Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding Chuck Norris can divide by zero Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas Chuck Norris likes to “knit sweaters” in his spare time, and by “knit” I mean “kick”, and by “sweaters” I mean “•••”. When someone sneezes, God says Chuck Bless you When Chuck Norris was in elementary school, he had to write an assay on ‘courage’. He wrote two words; “Chuck Norris”. A quote "When they found me in a hole in Iraq, it wasn’t because I was scared of the troops, I heard they had sent Chuck Norris to look for me”. –Saddam Hussein | ||
| Brett Weir Citizen Username: Brett_weir Post Number: 1652 Registered: 4-2004  |
If you ever dream you killed Chuck Norris, you better wake up and apologize... | ||
| Albatross Citizen Username: Albatross Post Number: 863 Registered: 9-2004  |
If you can see Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris can see you. If you cannot see Chuck Norris, death is seconds away. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2477 Registered: 7-2003 |
Chuck Norris is so manly, he has no nipples. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5056 Registered: 5-2001 |
chuck norris does not drink coffee, he chews it | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9912 Registered: 4-1997  |
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9913 Registered: 4-1997 |
Chuck Norris is making God write a will. | ||
| Andrew Zorn Citizen Username: Andrewzorn Post Number: 208 Registered: 1-2002 |
Chuck Norris maintains his figure using totalgym XL | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9916 Registered: 4-1997 |
The only reason there's no planet named Chuck Norris is because that's how Chuck Norris wants it. | ||
| LazyDog Citizen Username: Lazydog Post Number: 302 Registered: 6-2005  |
Chuck Norris is a fairy  | ||
| JJJJJJJJJJJJ Citizen Username: Jjjjjjjjjjj Post Number: 4 Registered: 6-2006 |
Chuck Norris has a jjjj key tjhatj bejhajves. | ||
| Che Guarisama™ Citizen Username: Katracho Post Number: 301 Registered: 11-2002  |
Chuck Norris always has his cake, and eats it, too! | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5061 Registered: 5-2001 |
Chuck Norris makes egg salad with numchucks. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5062 Registered: 5-2001 |
chuck norris shaves with a lawn mower....the kind you can ride on | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 11882 Registered: 5-2001 |
Chuck Norris makes Jack Bauer quake in his shoes. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2480 Registered: 7-2003 |
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris | ||
| Mayor McCheese Supporter Username: Mayor_mccheese Post Number: 1685 Registered: 7-2004  |
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer, but Chuck Norris doesn't cry. | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 3671 Registered: 7-2002 |
If Chuck Norris was President, it would all be over.... | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5063 Registered: 5-2001 |
Chuck Norris does not exist, he is existance itself | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9922 Registered: 4-1997 |
I think, therefore Chuck Norris is. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5066 Registered: 5-2001 |
When Chuck Norris says "jump" - you say "how high". Then you run for the hills, because he is going to kick your ••• while driving a jeep really fast. | ||
| Innisowen Citizen Username: Innisowen Post Number: 2065 Registered: 3-2004 |
Chuck Norris once tried to act, then gave that up for a TV series and a Texas-size belt buckle. | ||
| Project 37 Citizen Username: Project37 Post Number: 122 Registered: 3-2006  |
Chuck Norris can see through time. | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5072 Registered: 5-2001 |
chuck norris uses a machine gun to water his lawn | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9924 Registered: 4-1997 |
When Chuck Norris asks for the time, it's safest to simply give him your watch rather than assume something else, be wrong, and wind up dead. | ||
| Eats Shoots & Leaves Citizen Username: Mfpark Post Number: 3445 Registered: 9-2001  |
Oh, my. Well, sayonara to Lazy Dog and Inniswover. It was fun to know you on line for a while. I hope Chuck is swift and merciful, and that you don't suffer too much. | ||
| Aquaman Supporter Username: Aquaman Post Number: 956 Registered: 8-2001  |
When you ask Chuck Norris for the time, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." When you ask him two seconds til what, he round-house kicks you in the face. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9926 Registered: 4-1997 |
After a run-in with Chuck Norris, the $6 Million Dollar Man changed his name to Spare Change Steve. | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 3693 Registered: 7-2002 |
When Chuck Norris tells you there is a MOL Face To Face, you had better go or you will be scraped off the bottom of his shoes. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9927 Registered: 4-1997 |
When Chuck Norris wants to build an extension on his house, his permit is his fist. | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 1340 Registered: 5-2005  |
I taught Chuck Norris everything he knows....... | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9929 Registered: 4-1997 |
Dinosaurs are extinct, but Chuck Norris isn't. Coincidence? | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 5075 Registered: 5-2001 |
Chuck Norris orders his pizza with extra deadly danger | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 3697 Registered: 7-2002 |
Chuck Norris doesn't need to cut his grass, his neighbors do it for him, or else. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9932 Registered: 4-1997 |
When Chuck Norris issues an APB it is an "All Pain Bulletin". And he issues it with his foot. | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 3700 Registered: 7-2002 |
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 9933 Registered: 4-1997 |
Chuck Norris's keyboard has only upper case. Not that he has to type because he communicates with his fists. | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 4288 Registered: 5-2005  |
Chuck is so tough when he drinks his beer he chews on his glass and swallows it |
