| Author | Message | ||
     steel Citizen Username: Steel Post Number: 996 Registered: 2-2002 |
When I was in high school, my girlfriend's father was working on a ladder on his house when he was blown off his perch by a shotgun blast in the back fired by his neighbor that killed him. This was not in some hillbilly town. It was a nice suburb of Philadelphia. Years later no one could even remember what it was all about, (perhaps mistaken for a quail?) Obviously two families destroyed. You never know what is going on inside someone else's walls or head. Sometimes people think that if I just do "this" then that will solve the problem. ("That'll fix 'em). They forget that it often just means that it is an opportunity for the next guy's move. Some people seem to enjoy musing on such strategies. In this case, for what? Dirt next to a driveway? Endless escalating hassle and distraction? Keeping a patch of dirt smooth? | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 338 Registered: 8-2001 |
No escalating hassle...just simple respect for a neighbor (I know, that's expecting a lot in this day and age). The guy has no consideration for anyone (his own family included). As of now, he is apparently driving straight out and avoiding the rocks. | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 339 Registered: 8-2001 |
Well, the glory was short lived...ma arrived home to find the rocks gone  (of course, the neighbor claims ignorance). Time for conventional warfare, but as Otter said in Animal House - "That would cost millions of dollars and cost thousands of lives..." | ||
| Camnol Citizen Username: Camnol Post Number: 283 Registered: 3-2005 |
Chain link fence on the property line? Can she report him to the police? I do agree that she needs to be careful. He doesn't sound like the stablest of creatures. | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 340 Registered: 8-2001 |
She just spoke with MPD and will be filing a complaint Monday. They said he has no right whatsoever to come on the property (no matter how close to his driveway)and remove items and they will speak to him after the report is filed. She looked and one of the rocks is now behind his garage. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1278 Registered: 10-2003 |
Newone, I've been lurking on this thread since inception and my thought all along was that it's a tiny piece of grass, tell your mom to be tolerant and do her best to turn a blind eye, they have to live next to one another after all... Until your 3:17 post stating the rocks are gone! I'd like to ask: are you sure there is no dispute over the property line? The surveys are up to date and there's no way this grump can claim his property extends four inches beyond the driveway? I've got no advice to offer, but I can't wait to see what happens next. Please keep posting. -Lynn | ||
| cody Citizen Username: Cody Post Number: 967 Registered: 5-2001 |
How about planting a mature, thorny shrub there? Quince are good, and pretty, too. Could you put a decorative concrete planter there with a heavy duty shrub? (I was thinking bamboo, which is invasive if planted in the ground, but which might be OK in a planter) Some sort of evergreen would give you year-round reason to have the planter in place. I suppose your mom wouldn't want to just put mulch in the area and concede the battle, would she? Having once had a very annoying neighbor, I can sympathize with your mother's situation. We were very glad to see them move when they left the area! Luckily, the new neighbors are wonderful! Good luck. | ||
| Bailey Citizen Username: Baileymac Post Number: 186 Registered: 3-2005 |
I think you should be taking LOTS of photos for the inevitable lawsuit that's coming. Take pics of the rocks behind his garage too - and if possible, of his car actually driving on the grassy area. I have some issues with a neighbor too, so I can relate. Good Luck. | ||
| Fabulouswalls Citizen Username: Fabulouswalls Post Number: 40 Registered: 10-2005 |
 Decorative lawn ornament. | ||
| upondaroof Citizen Username: Upondaroof Post Number: 607 Registered: 4-2003 |
Or this little beauty. Moms can handle the situation right from the comfort of the easy chair!  | ||
| ajc Citizen Username: Ajc Post Number: 4884 Registered: 9-2001  |
OK, so I consulted the thesaurus…. Pal; a friend, mate, or chum. A companion, comrade, buddy, or crony... Obviously, it’s not the definition of the word that’s the problem. It’s a three letter word being treating as if it were a four letter word. Soda, when I say pal, it’s not just because I'm mad at someone. Many posters when annoyed with someone post things like **** you, or eat **** and die, whatever! FWIW, when I post in the Soapbox’s, it’s not always because I’m looking to make friends and influence people. It’s because I’m dealing with issues and posters giving me a hard time. I appreciate your concern, and perhaps if you and the others annoyed with me just ignored me all together, all of us would be a lot happier. It’s time to look forward to better days and do as Tim McGraw suggests; start to “Live like you were dying.” There’s a lot better things to do in life than just complaining about me... | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 341 Registered: 8-2001 |
las No dispute over the proerty line - it is her on her property. I'll be taking some pics later today when I go over there and we'll see what happens after tomorrow when she files the complaint. | ||
| Soda Supporter Username: Soda Post Number: 3630 Registered: 5-2001  |
Nice song, Art. "He said I was in my early forties with a lot of life before me when a moment came that stopped me on a dime and I spent most of the next days looking at the x-rays Talking bout the options and talking bout sweet time I asked him when it sank in that this might really be the real end how's it hit you when you get that kinda news man what'd you do and he said I went sky diving I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying and he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying. He said I was finally the husband that most the time I wasn't and I became a friend a friend would like to have and all the sudden going fishin' wasn't such an imposition and I went three times that year I lost my dad well I finally read the good book and I took a good long hard look at what I'd do if I could do it all again and then I went sky diving I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu and I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying and he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying. Like tomorrow was a gift and you got eternity to think about what'd you do with it what did you do with it what did I do with it what would I do with it? Sky diving I went Rocky Mountain climbing I went 2.7 seconds on a bull named Fumanchu and then I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter and I watched an eagle as it was flying and he said someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying. To live like you were dying To live like you were dying To live like you were dying To live like you were dying" Do ya s'pose Tim knows Harry?  -s. | ||
| ajc Citizen Username: Ajc Post Number: 4885 Registered: 9-2001 |
Soda, I don't know who knows what anymore, and don’t much care. But, at my age I do know what some of you don’t, and that’s that all of us on this planet are terminal! I also learned a long time ago that life is empty and meaningless, and it doesn't mean anything that it’s empty and meaningless... The song is a great song and so is the book. I changed the words in the song to suit me, but the message is the same... I went to Lakewood by the ocean, was sky diving, and was a pray’en… I bought some land in Colorado, went Rocky Mountain climb’en, but just because I was a pay’en . I’ve spent a lifetime on a bull I named experience, and learned life the hard way each time I married. I found out how to feel and love much deeper, it was just because I was only speaking sweeter. Along the way I found there’s miracles in forgiven, it comes from all them folks I’d had been forgetting. Now life keeps getting better, and it’s just because I’ve learned to live each day like we’re all dying! There’s a message in all of this for you pal, and that is that there’s miracles in store for you and your comrades when you decide to give up this silly notion that the word “Pal” is annoying. I may be annoying to you, but I’ve already told you all how to resolve that… just ignore me!!! | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 7145 Registered: 5-2001 |
Newone: I understand why your mother felt it necessary to file a complaint with the police department but I hope that action wasn't taken prematurely. Her neighbor sounds like the kind of person who is apt to get really angry now that the police are involved and procede to do something even more distructive. I know this sounds more that a bit naif; but, has anyone asked this neighbor "why" he finds it so necessary to drive over the three foot piece of land which you claim is on your mother's property? The answer just might prove to be something your mother and the neighbor could work together to resolve. | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 342 Registered: 8-2001 |
Joan All well and good, if the neighbor would talk to her which he doesn't and won't (she has tried in the past with other instances)....as I said earlier, the guy is just a mean, nasty SOB. | ||
| steel Citizen Username: Steel Post Number: 997 Registered: 2-2002 |
Dear newone, If the neighbor is indeed a "mean, nasty SOB" then why are you abetting your mother to further, (beyond both sides now moving bigs rocks around), escalate the situation by now taking pictures and filing a claim, (a claim over what exactly?, -tire tread marks on a piece of dirt?) and potentially putting her in some sort of future genuine jeopardy of property or who knows what? It's a little, chunk, of lawn. I have heard of "turf wars" but unless your mother oddly enjoys this sort of thing I would again sincerely suggest that you help her diffuse such nonsense by forgetting it and appreciating it's lack of importance. Afterall, it is not like he is, (YET) breaking her windows or something. Think seriously about what you are doing and for what. You should be protecting her by making the common sense mature choice and not like acting like some kid thinking he is helping his mom by trying to her "win" devising the lastest volley against a "mean, nasty SOB" who is "incapable of respect for a neighbor", (your words). Not really my business except that you asked here for advise so there it is. Good luck. | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 1723 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm with Steel on this one - the situation has apprently escalated beyond the chunk of grass - if the neighbor is a, "mean, nasty SOB", then don't give him ammo - let him run over the little bit of grass and turn the other cheek. I have a driveway that people use to make 3-way-turns from a bigger street - everyone drives over my grass + more than once I've had a portion of my retaining wall knocked down. It used to make me crazy - I'd re-seed, put up barriers, etc. It's easier to let it go - so I have a few bare spots where people turn around - eh. I concentrate on my garden in the back and let what happens in the front happen. | ||
| Crazy_quilter Citizen Username: Crazy_quilter Post Number: 228 Registered: 2-2005 |
i agree with steel. put some pretty gravel down and forget about it. don't escalate things. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1406 Registered: 10-2002  |
Just put in a nice rock garden there (with more rock than garden) and be done with it. The fact that cactus make a great addition to a rock garden would be totally coincidental... | ||
| Smarty Jones Citizen Username: Birdstone Post Number: 478 Registered: 10-2005 |
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/20/boy.shot.ap/index.html | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 350 Registered: 8-2001 |
Saw it this morning...no worries, my mother doesn't know how to use my shotgun and only I have the key to the gun cabinet...she nor I would let it get that far. FWIW - he has actually been good these past few days...maybe it just takes awhile for the neighbor to get the point. | ||
| Case Citizen Username: Case Post Number: 1294 Registered: 2-2005 |
It's certainly a sad story... but I'm willing to bet that there will be a renewed respect for the sanctity of lawns and yards in that town for YEARS to come. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 1447 Registered: 11-2001 |
I've been following this thread, but have not yet posted. Newone...I hope the neighbor finally got the point. While people like the man in Cincinnati are extreme, to say the least, there is no rule that says you have to sacrifice your own property to the carelessness of a neighbor. Whatever you want to do to it (put down grass, grow flowers, erect a lemonade stand, etc.) should be your choice to do, not that neighbor's. While I disagree with violent acts, I also respectfully disagree with those posters who say to just let it alone. In this case, the neighbor is both inconsiderate and rude, and has no right to destroy your mother's lawn. Let's hope that he has straightened out! | ||
| steel Citizen Username: Steel Post Number: 999 Registered: 2-2002 |
This is an interesting thread. I guess some people find a piece of their lawn to be a signpost of themselves and any damage to it to be an affront to themselves. -Thus the "sanctity". It's seems to be an encroachment to some people. I have to believe that some people here see that encroachment as something that could advance, ("What will that guy be inconsiderate of next?") as opposed to truly feeling precious about three feet of lawn near a driveway while ignoring the advance of ongoing hostilities by staking preciousness about something so petty. Of course there is no "rule" about it either way, -just apply your own best judgment to best interests. It is all a question of measure as to what different people find to be a threat or important to protect or act on. I spoke of protecting the mother. Others seem to focus on what is presently the mother's concern, -protecting her lawn. I can't help it, -it sounds ridiculous to me to even say it, -"protecting her lawn". I know that this is a nice suburb but, crimminy. Personally I do not live of, by or for the "lawn". It ain't a moat and it ain't me or my family. I mean it's a little chunk of shorn foliage that happens to surround where my house sits. I'll cut it and pull some of the weeds but I sure as hell wouldn't advise my mother as to how to conduct a fight over a small piece of her lawn with a "nasty, mean SOB". I would advise her to continue to enjoy watching Regis in the morning, feeding the chipmunks, doing her shopping and playing cards with her friends. Each to his own. I certainly hope that the neighbor stays on his meds. PS: I also have to wonder if people have had a great deal taken from them would protecting a lawn seem like nothing or would it seem like now they had to protect all that they had? People often say "live and learn". For me it has become, "others die and I learn how to live". I fear that I may soon not have much time for such ruminations, as tomorrow I start a new job that may take me to far-off lands. I suspect that from that great distance lawns in my beloved Maplewood will appear even smaller. | ||
| argon_smythe Citizen Username: Argon_smythe Post Number: 790 Registered: 5-2001 |
Is it your assertion that the property line lies directly on the edge of the neighbor's driveway? That would be quite unusual. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 8948 Registered: 4-1997  |
http://www.cnn.com/2006/US/03/20/boy.shot.ap/index.html | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 354 Registered: 8-2001 |
Okay, here's the update. The police were over the house this morning because the daughter started cursing out my mother, calling her a "f*cking b*tch" and other things. The police told the daughter that she is going over private property (my mother's) and she should learn to drive better. The daughter was constantly interrupting the officer and screaming. The officer asked my mother to remove the rock (not for the sake of the neighbors but because they were concerned somebody would use it to break some windows or cars). My mother complied. The officer said the he guesses they would now constantly go over the grass and he saw it was not possible to have any kind of conversation or resolution with the neighbors. The father came home screaming with his daughter (in the driveway) on how my mother is "an old, stupid f*cking b*tch" who is uneducated, never works and doesn't have any degrees (she does have a degree, works very hard - been in Who's Who of American Women for years and she does stay home a lot because she runs her business out of her house) and other nice things. The daughter said she will now always go over the grass. I heard all this myself as my mother held the phone to the window. Looks like a rock garden will go in the spot since grass will be impossible to grow there. Ah, life in the 'burbs... | ||
| WendyP Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3384 Registered: 12-2004  |
Wowza. That's just plain sad but, somehow, predictable. Sorry for your mom. | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 355 Registered: 8-2001 |
Thanks Wendy - everything is reported so if there are any reprisals it is on record. She knows they'll complain about every speck of dust that goes on their driveway, every little grass clipping, she knows she'll be called names by them when she's out and she won't say a word, will turn her back and walk away. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1359 Registered: 10-2003 |
The police have a point about rocks being thrown. How about a boulder? I'd chip in ten bucks towards that. It's really a shame. Your mom will be safe? | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 356 Registered: 8-2001 |
Well, I offered her the key to the gun cabinet...  She thinks she'll be fine although I will be going over to the house later today to do my write my reports and do work. She's meeting with the landscaper sometime to discuss options but she knows whatever goes there, it will be removed/damaged so she may just leave it bare (which she would really not want to do - we'll see). | ||
| WendyP Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3386 Registered: 12-2004 |
Still, she shouldn't have to be subjected to that kind of crap when she's simply trying to live her life. I had a pair of insane neighbors who lived in my small condo building in Jersey City. They'd "come after me" every opportunity they had, and it could be very stressful. | ||
| tom Citizen Username: Tom Post Number: 4601 Registered: 5-2001 |
Maybe a discreet low fence? I imagine if you support it with a row of 2-foot high 4x4s set into two feet of concrete, it would encourage them to be a little more careful with their car. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2844 Registered: 9-2002  |
I was thinking a small picket fence as well. Or she could move, which is what I would do. | ||
| newone Citizen Username: Newone Post Number: 357 Registered: 8-2001 |
She will never move - this is the house she grew up in. Anything that can be moved/damaged or destroyed would not be good because that is exactly what they would do to it. She'll wait and see what the landscaper recommends - it would have to be a large, heavy immovable object. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 1478 Registered: 11-2001 |
And it's OK that the neighbors will destroy her property, no matter whether it is rocks or grass? It seems as though this is accepted. Yes, as Steel intimates, it is "just a lawn". But that lawn is part of your mother's property -- of which she takes care and for which she pays taxes. It is her right to decide how her lawn will look, not her neighbors'. Can the police not do anything about these neighbors? If they destroy whatever she puts in that spot, is that not some sort of crime? (Yes, I realize that sounds dramatic -- we are not talking about murder or arson here.) I find it frustrating to think that these nasty people can continue their nasty ways and get away with it. | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 2600 Registered: 7-2002  |
How about a nice big decorative steel pole set in two feet or so of concrete, put that right in the corner. Let's see them drive over that. | ||
| BGS Citizen Username: Bgs Post Number: 805 Registered: 10-2003 |
This is so sad...we think that people are civilized and then you hear something like this...I cannot even imagine the Dad speaking like that about another adult with his daughter...can only imagine what kind of people they are....I would be willing to chip in for the boulder too....and we could all come over on the day that it is delivered and put in place and then cheer and talk about how great it looks there etc.....keep us posted!!!! | ||
| Rastro Citizen Username: Rastro Post Number: 2657 Registered: 5-2004  |
Record their rant next time, and get a restraining order against them. It's cheap, easy, and is almost like a criminal record. Would you hire someone who as a restraining order against them? |
