| Author | Message | ||
     The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1437 Registered: 10-2005 |
Howdy folks- Moral dilemma I am hoping you can help me with. I looked out my bedroom window this morning to witness this young girl exit the house across the street. By the looks of her bookbag it looks she is on her way to school (Seth Boyden). The problem is I know she doesn't live there! She is also never around on the weekends . There is also heavy traffic across the street on Sunday night. My only guess is that they have some kids across the street that are illegally tending our schools. I know parents want a good education for their kids but I this is BS. What would you do about it? -SLK | ||
| Rastro Citizen Username: Rastro Post Number: 3169 Registered: 5-2004  |
Call Rumsfeld. Obviously we need to bomb that house, invade, and bring peace and prosperity to them. Oh wait, sorry. Wrong thread.  You might want to call someone from the school board or the principal of Seth Boyden. Since you don't know if she is illegal (maybe her parents are divorced?), I'd be careful about accusing. Maybe suggest they look into it. | ||
| campbell29 Citizen Username: Campbell29 Post Number: 439 Registered: 4-2002 |
I think you have no choice to report what you know. It is unfair to the taxpayers here to have to educate the children of non-residents when our own tax burden is so high. I am sure that her parents want the best for her, but in addition to the financial aspects, its not good for a small child to have to try to deceive her classmates and teachers regarding her living situation. Imagine the stress of having to live a lie when you're that young. | ||
| Nohero Supporter Username: Nohero Post Number: 5414 Registered: 10-1999  |
If you have any suspicions, the best thing to do would be to call the school district's business office, at 973-762-5600, and provide them with the address. The district residency verification officer follows up on referrals like that, and does check homes for the entrances and exits of parents and students. Keep in mind that there could be other reasons that she is not around on weekends. For example, she could be with one parent during the week, and another on weekends. Or, does this happen every day? Some parents drop their kids off with friends, if the parents have to leave early for work, and the kids go to school later. In any event, the district does look into these matters. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7735 Registered: 5-2001  |
If she lives there Monday - Friday, then she lives there. Unless there is some regulation about residence of legal guardian, I doubt there's a problem. Do you know the home owner? | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2226 Registered: 8-2003  |
"I think you have no choice to report what you know." It doesn't seem like SLK knows much yet. SLK - have you seen this girl before this morning? Are there any children living in the house that you know of? | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 14358 Registered: 1-2003  |
And he doesn't yet know if she goes to the public schools in our district. | ||
| cmontyburns Citizen Username: Cmontyburns Post Number: 1837 Registered: 12-2003  |
So you don't know the girl, don't know the family, don't know for sure where she went this morning when she left the house, and you don't know how she spends her weekends. Sounds like a rather ironclad case. My guess is the school district will send a swat team ASAP. | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1903 Registered: 7-2004  |
Is there any surprise a neo-fascist George Bush supporter would rat out a neighbor with absolutely no proof? | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1438 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, Stay out of it. The reason I made this post was to avoid doing such, dumb**8 Everyone else, The parents are happily married and I know all the children they have. My wife informs me that she sees this girl leaving the house in the morning for school alot...let me dwell on this for a bit. I am not going to do anything until I am sure. There is a chance she gets dropped off in the morning by her parents...who knows... I may support Dubya when I see fit but I am not heartless...  -SLK | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1904 Registered: 7-2004 |
Whoa, hey, settle down, Beavis. No need for name calling. Maybe you should take a page out of your favorite administration's playbook and tap their phones. Get the good dirt. If that doesn't work, just wait until she litters so you can confront her, hot shot. | ||
| Nancy - LibraryLady Supporter Username: Librarylady Post Number: 3466 Registered: 5-2001  |
When my kids were little and in the public school, I often had the children of working parents drop off their kids early so that they (the parents) could get to the office on time. I then sent these kids with my on off to school at the appropriate time. This could be the case or maybe not. | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1439 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, Good idea! -SLK | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 14359 Registered: 1-2003 |
Robert Livingston wrote: Whoa, hey, settle down, Beavis. No need for name calling. Which is it? Is he a Beavis or is there no need for name calling? | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1905 Registered: 7-2004 |
Tom: I take it you did not watch much MTV in the 90s. I could have used instead "Butt-Head" and that would on-the-surface be a greater insult except that everyone knows that Butt-Head was actually the smarter and cooler one so going with "Beavis" seems like it would be more of a put-down, except it's not because the line is just a direct quote and "Beavis" is not a what but a who. Got it? | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 14360 Registered: 1-2003 |
I saw the show and remember the character. You called SLK Beavis. That's a name. Should it stick, or do you want to say there's no need for name calling? Take your pick. | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1906 Registered: 7-2004 |
 | ||
| Rastro Citizen Username: Rastro Post Number: 3179 Registered: 5-2004 |
Tom, it's a lost cause. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 14361 Registered: 1-2003 |
I'll hold him still while SLK pummels him. | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1907 Registered: 7-2004 |
Everyone is getting seriously off topic. This is a thread about Beavis narcing on his neighbors with zero proof. Please continue... | ||
| Dr. Winston O'Boogie Citizen Username: Casey Post Number: 2107 Registered: 8-2003  |
I'd assume the neighbor was minding the kid for a parent who has to leave early for work. but that's just me. I tend to assume people are law-abiding unless I have good reason to believe otherwise. | ||
| Phenixrising Citizen Username: Phenixrising Post Number: 1685 Registered: 9-2004  |
SLK, Nancy may be right. When My kids were younger, if both of us had to be at work early, we would drop them off with my neighbor. (I just didn't like that fact about leaving them by themselves.) I've done the same, if I was off or if the kid needed to be picked-up, I would keep them till their parents came. | ||
| Bajou Citizen Username: Bajou Post Number: 391 Registered: 2-2006 |
Well she could be a kid who is getting dropped of early there so she can walk to school. She could also be a foster child or an adopted child that is newly moved in. She could also be a family member whose parents are ill and she is temporarily attending school while being taken care of by her extended family. There are a million reasons.... You mention the parents are happily married and you know all the children then why don't you just go over and ask??? I would find that less intrusive... | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2229 Registered: 8-2003 |
SLK -I am glad you won't be going to the authorities until you know more. good luck with your investigation Do let us know what you discover! | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 14362 Registered: 1-2003 |
If you discover she's an illegal student, it might be best NOT to mention what you find out here. Disclosing a child's private life in a public forum doesn't seem right. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2232 Registered: 8-2003 |
tom's right Dumb of me to suggest you should tell us | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1440 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, Have you ever noticed that you are usually the only one who has problems sticking to the topic on any thread? The following is NOT the topic: "This is a thread about Beavis narcing on his neighbors with zero proof." I said before, if I my purpose is to narc this girl out then I wouldn't have started this thread seeking advice. Either you have really poor reading comprehension or just plain.... But who cares about you. I am pysched because I got to mow the lawn in that small break of sunshine and now its pouring again! Yeeehaw! Thanks for the advice everyone. I will use caution when pursuing this topic. -SLK | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 1908 Registered: 7-2004 |
"...But who cares about you." For someone who doesn't care about me that sure was a lot of build-up to get to that. | ||
| Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 5086 Registered: 1-2004  |
Why don't you walk across the street to ask? It seems you know the family... | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 2924 Registered: 12-2001  |
 | ||
| Zoesky1 Citizen Username: Zoesky1 Post Number: 1507 Registered: 6-2003  |
Jeez. How judgmental can you get. Re not being around on weekends: that doesn't mean a kid doesn't live in her or his home, obviously. My kids live with me, but spend alternate weekends with their dad. God, I'd hate for someone observing our household to not think my kids live here (besides, the piles of laundry, mountains of toys, and juice stains on the carpet speak otherwise). | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1441 Registered: 10-2005 |
Zoesky, Trust me, she doesn't live there. I know all the kids and she isn't one of them. And for those of you suggesting I just walk up to them and ask them, how screwed up do you think that would look? "Ummm, does so and so live here because I think she doesn't and she is attending our schools illegaly." Yeah that would go over swell. -SLK Many Maplewoodians don't like non-resident students going to our schools on our dime. If my hunch is correct, wouldn't we want to make sure she isn't doing just that? | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 2295 Registered: 6-2002 |
I think Ann Landers said it best - MYOB The kid's parents probably leave for work early and the kid goes to school with friends. I've done this countless times for friends with weird work schedules, and they've done it for me too. And my parents had the same arrangement with neighbors when we were little - my mom was a nurse and had to be at work by 7 AM. Why do people ALWAYS assume the worst of their neighbors? Such a common theme here on MOL, and not especially neighborly IMHO. | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1444 Registered: 10-2005 |
CLK- I am willing to MYOB but one question. What if in fact his girl is not suppose to be going to our schools. Then what? -SLK | ||
| Monster© Supporter Username: Monster Post Number: 3248 Registered: 7-2002  |
just do something already.... | ||
| susan1014 Supporter Username: Susan1014 Post Number: 1575 Registered: 3-2002 |
My opinion: Quietly report your suspicions to the schools if you really think there may be a problem, but don't gossip about it with anyone who knows your true identity (including this board if there are some here who know you). Let the schools investigate if appropriate, but don't smirch your neighbors' reputations in person or online with partially-substantiated allegations. The school has professionals to sort this out if there is a true legal issue, rather than partial custody, foster care, drop off babysitting, etc. -- you don't need to play Nancy Drew if you don't know the neighbors well enough to just ask them. Just recognize that if you report them rather than just asking, they are going to know that some neighbor has called them in, and, if they are legit, they may not love you for it. If you think they are decent people, you might consider asking first, in a non-confrontational manner. We've got to come up with a better answer to educating students from troubled districts -- I think it is a societal moral obligation. But I don't think that we do it by ignoring individual students who might sneak into our system -- given our financial difficulties, I think we have to enforce the rules. Although it is painful to me, I can't argue for "don't ask, don't tell" as a blanket solution here. | ||
| efull Citizen Username: Efull Post Number: 27 Registered: 4-2006 |
/ Rather than cast dispersions on the home of people you know and are a good family, I'd ask them. If this something you feel so strongly about why hide in the shadows, ask them face to face, even if they take offense, you can certainly tell if they are honest or not. My sister had the same problem with her daughter, and it made her extremely angry with the teacher, where is the integrity, why send someone to the home without first asking yourself. My sister is divorced and my niece often (only 5) says my daddy's house, I left my book bag here or there, and they assumed because they only saw my sister on Parent teacher events or performances, that she was out of district. Thank goodness my sister was home when they came. It got rather heated. I like the direct approach & since you live in my neighborhood, I might catch some entertainment by way of them telling you to MYOB. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 7448 Registered: 5-2001 |
SLK: Did it ever occur to you that your neighbor across the street might read MOL and might have seen this thread? It's threads like this which have the potential for creating the problems which lead to the restructuring of the Education Section of the Message Board. It would have been far better to pose a general question as to the ethics and circumstances of when to report a possible illegal student than to point out that a possible illegal student may be living across the street from you. Let's see what you know. 1. There is a child who you see leaving a house across the street from your house on weekdays at about the time a child would normally leave for school and who carries the type of back pack children traditionally use to carry their school supplies. 2. You never see this child leave said house on weekends. 3. This child has never been a part of the household of the family living in said house at any time that you have observed the family together. From this you conclude: 1. The child is living in the house on weekdays but not on weekends. 2. The child is not part of the extended family of the household in question. 3. The child is attending school in Maplewood/South Orange. 4. The child is attending said school illegally. I don't believe you have enough information to go from set of facts A to conclusions B. There are just too many other possibilities, all of which may be legitimate. It seems to me that a person facing the dilemma you describe has two choices, if they wish to see the student, if illegal, removed from the school district. 1. Report your suspicions to the school district authorities and hope they will conduct an investigation without embarassing the child , the child's family or the household across the street (assuming this is an additional party); or 2. Try to obtain more information before making a report. You can do this by asking the child directly, asking one of the adult members of the household directly, or asking other children in the neighborhood who are the same age as the child in question (they will know). If you choose method 2 it is far more likely that the child will find out about your concerns and so will your neighbors across the street. Of the two choices, I think it would be a better idea to let the professionals handle it. Please do not tell us what you decide to do or what the result is of the action you take or others take on your behalf. | ||
| Lydia Supporter Username: Lydial Post Number: 1867 Registered: 5-2001 |
We have a child dropped off daily at our house because she lives on a busy street and it's dangerous to cross + no sidewalks here and there. I suppose if I had a nosy neighbor it might look suspicious. If a nosy neighbor asked me what the deal was I'd tell him/her the story and hope that was that. If I really cared about the child's situation, posting the story on MOL would be my 2nd to last resort FYI. | ||
| The Notorious S.L.K. Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1446 Registered: 10-2005 |
Joan, How am I being nosy by casually looking out my bedroom window at 6:30AM? Knowing that illegal students in or district is a hot topic and pressing issue in our beloved town I thought I was doing the right thing by seeking advice before taking any necessary action. I guess I could start keeping an eye on them to see if she is in fact dropped off in the morning but since i am up early at that time, the only car I ever see pulling up is the newspaper delivery woman. You know what, screw it. I'll just mind my own business knowing fully aware that my maplewoodians only care about this issue in theory. In reality they are either too uninterested or timid to do anything about it. I am done. Sorry for caring.... -SLK |
