| Author | Message | ||
     S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1926 Registered: 10-2005  |
oldstone-you figured it out!  Hoops!  good one.... SOL-you are correct, it was stupid but not neglient with all the precautions I took..... What did mom say? "You stupid ****head don't ever do that again!!!! end of story.... so does this mean I can't leave my 2 year in our gated backyard by themselves anymore? Would it be considered negligence if I did? what has this world come to? -SLK | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4410 Registered: 12-2004  |
Really. How so? | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 3235 Registered: 9-2002  |
If it had been me, and believe me I've done some stupid things with my kids, I would have been glad that someone called the police. Because it would be a way to tell me point blank that I was an idiot, and I should never do it again. If I had been successful in doing that errand without someone (civilian or cop) confronting me about it, I might do it again. Because hey, it worked right? I got in and out, didn't have to wake or unbuckle the kids, got my errand done and no one stole my car with my kids in it. I have almost called the police when seeing dogs left alone in cars on a hot day. You bet I'd call them if I saw small kids left alone. As to how old...I would say if I felt comfortable with my kid going somewhere by themselves (walking to a friend's house that wasn't that close, dropping off at a mall, etc) that is old enough to be left alone in a car. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 9244 Registered: 5-2001  |
You get credit for 'fessing up to Mom. My SIL would have smacked my brother upside the head with a frying pan. Then again, he's a bit overly protective. He probably wouldn't have left the kids in the car, but if he had, guaranteed that he would have hired a private, armed security guard to meet him in the parking lot, along with an EMT to monitor their BPs and body temperatures. All this after consulting with an environmental scientist to learn the exact weather conditions most likely to endanger the kids and hiring someone else to test the internal tempertare of his particular car in all situations. Crazy - that makes more sense. I thought that she knew the guy was there. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1927 Registered: 10-2005 |
MATBs Is your questions in response to me or fab? Also, if what I did isn't against the law then why did the cops say it was? -SLK | ||
| akb Citizen Username: Akb Post Number: 440 Registered: 12-2001 |
edited - I was a little melodramatic I have to say I'm surprised at the indignant tone of the initial post, the apparent sense of entitlement displayed, and at the number of people sympathetic. I was not the person who called - and how sad that the disclaimer seems necessary - but I am glad someone did. From your posts on this thread, I question whether you would have responded positively to anyone drawing your attention to the unacceptable decision you had taken, or whether it would have impacted your future decisions. Having had the humiliation of defending yourself to the police, albeit without being charged, I would warrant a guess that you will never do this again. I certainly hope you will not. Finally, that NJ lacks specific legislation on leaving kids in cars does not mean parents who do so cannot be charged under more general child welfare provisions. | ||
| Camnol Citizen Username: Camnol Post Number: 461 Registered: 3-2005 |
Wasn't there an incident in town about 10 years ago or so of a mom leaving her child in the car while she went into a deli? If I remember correctly she had asked someone to watch the car. Apparently he/she didn't do a very good job, as the car was stolen with the child inside. Child was found--happy ending. This whole conversation brings several other incidents to mind. A friend of mine in Berkeley Heights pulled up to a friend's house to pick up her son from a play date. Took her youngest daughter out of the car, but left her purse in the car. Locked the car, walked up the hill to the front door. While she was standing there, somone pulled up next to her car, unlocked the car and stole her purse. Took seconds. She was so grateful that her daughter wasn't in the car. The other incident happened in my old driveway. I lived on a cul-de-sac at the top of a hill and my driveway was a bit steep. A friend pulled up into the driveway to drop off my son. She left her mature-for-her-age daughter (5) in the car while she watched to make sure my son got into the house. I watched in utter disbelief as her car started rolling out of my driveway! It was one of those sureal moments, happening faster than we could react. The wheels were turned, thankfully, so that instead of rolling all the way down the hill, the car rapidly curved and slammed into my neighbor's mailbox. The mom had accidentally left the car in neutral, but had engaged the parking brake. To this day the daughter can't explain why she decided to play with the parking brake. And her mom can't figure out how she could have possibly moved the brake, since it took all of the mom's strength to disengage it. Child was fine, just shook up, and it was one of those rare days when no children were playing in the cul-de-sac. So, happy ending all around. So yeah, stuff can happen when kids are left alone in a car for a few minutes. Even if parents are watching. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4415 Registered: 12-2004 |
SLK, it was for Fab. And BTW, you must now have your children surgically attached to your hip because, apparently, it is dangerous to leave them unattended, only for a minute, even though you can see them and are really only a few feet away! | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave  Post Number: 10628 Registered: 4-1997  |
He was watching them from 20' away for the entire four minutes. He didn't duck into a pub to watch a baseball game. | ||
| akb Citizen Username: Akb Post Number: 441 Registered: 12-2001 |
The hyperthermia risks are greater than people tend to assume - an infant in Jersey City died in a locked car in 70 degree weather, for example - but obviously there are other risks too. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4417 Registered: 12-2004 |
Camnol, anything can happen to anybody at anytime anywhere. So does that mean we should all remain locked in our homes to avoid the minimal risk that something will? My point exactly Dave. I knew there was a reason I liked you. Brief and to the point, as always! | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 10629 Registered: 4-1997 |
akb, He was watching them from 20' away for four minutes. It's like calling the police on people who are posting here because they aren't watching their kids while they post. | ||
| akb Citizen Username: Akb Post Number: 442 Registered: 12-2001 |
MATB, there are reasonable precautions that we can take to avoid unnecessary calamities. Some are common sense; some are mandated by law. Sure, our kids would be physically safer if they never rode in cars - we can't do that. We _can_ provide all the reasonable security possible and drive carefully, use carseats etc. Anyone can try to justify little exceptions for themselves and their friends - oh he isn't that drunk; he can drive home OK; oh it isn't that far, she can ride without a carseat; oh I'll be watching the kids, it won't take long. Traffic and child welfare legislation can save people from exercising their own poor judgement. If there is a lesson learned here, it may go beyond the original poster to all readers who would have done the same thing but will now think twice. | ||
| Camnol Citizen Username: Camnol Post Number: 462 Registered: 3-2005 |
Me and the boys, No it doesn't. But in weighing the risks, for me, safety wins over convenience. Especially when it comes to my kids. But, that's just me. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 8209 Registered: 5-2001 |
Dave: 20 feet is a pretty long distance to have to sprint if you do see something happening to the car and/or the kids inside. 20 feet is also a pretrty long distance away for most of us to see what the children are/are not doing. Have you been to Gleason's on a Saturday? Believe me, it usually takes a lot more than four minutes to drop off/pick up dry cleaning there on a Saturday. | ||
| akb Citizen Username: Akb Post Number: 443 Registered: 12-2001 |
Dave - I xposted, but as I just said, we can all justify our own exceptions. In our hearts, we also all know that no matter the good intentions, one can get preoccupied. He was inside long enough for the police to get there - he may have been preoccupied enough not to notice a concerned citizen approach the car and check the kids were OK (we don't know that, do we?). It was a poor decision. I did not mean to say his children were at risk of hyperthermia in those exact circumstances, but there is a great deal of misunderstanding about how hot the weather needs to be. The value of this thread may just be the number of other parents willing to stand up and say, hey, we have little kids too and you just don't do that. We have 4 kids. I know it is a PITA to haul them out especially when they are sleeping or otherwise quietly occupied, but it is what you do. Every time. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4419 Registered: 12-2004 |
Camnol, you're absolutely right. I couldn't give to ••••'s about the saftey of my children, and I'm constantly putting them at risk. But that's just me. | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 10630 Registered: 4-1997 |
Hey SLK, I think you have the green light to drop the kids off with akb before your next run to Gleason's. | ||
| Camnol Citizen Username: Camnol Post Number: 463 Registered: 3-2005 |
You really are bored. You are sparring for a fight you aren't going to get. It's my philosophy for MY family based on my experiences as a parent and as a preschool teacher. You do as you see fit. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1928 Registered: 10-2005 |
MATBs- You know, after thinking about this, I agree with you. While many are appalled by my actions I am equally appalled by the self-righteousness of some of the posters. These people, parents or not, are perfect. They never lost sight of their child in the store, or a child never fell and hurt themselves on their watch. Yeah, right.... How many of these critics even have children? Is it ok if my 2 year old is left unattended in his room playing with his Thomas Train set while I am cleanign the kitchen downstairs? I mean where do you draw the line? But, I did start this whole discussion didn't I? And where do i come off being "self-entitled?" I took the necessary precautions I deemed necessary to protect my children for 4 minutes under my constant watch, end of story. And what does me confronting a rude litterer have anything to do with this? What is the difference if I am constantly watching my locked car with my child in it from 15 feet away and watching my child running around in a park or our backyard from the same distance. In some ways, a child is more vulnerable in the latter settings, no? Example, on another board I pointed out that my 2 year old was running ahead of me in Memorial Park (15 feet) last Spring, having the time of his life when a large dog came out of nowhere and plowed him over. I mean really slammed into him. he cried for a 1/2 an hour and was scared. Does this make me a negligent parent? Rant over. Now be careful all youse, or I'll start throwing bananas atcha! -SLK susan1014-my intention was not to bring politics into this. The hippie and bumper sticker is what is standing out in this whole experience. What should i expect from living in Maplewood? | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 3221 Registered: 12-2001  |
I do that when I go to the ATM in town sometimes, right across from Tratoria. I still don't see what the big deal is. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1929 Registered: 10-2005 |
Joan- All due respect but 20 feet is a long distance to sprint? What? Given the average height of US Women, 20 feet is aprox 4 of you. It would take you under 5 seconds to sprint such a short distance. Dave-you caught me I am guilty, I posted on MOL while watching my children, so I must be a negliegent parent...  Call social services! -SLK | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1930 Registered: 10-2005 |
themp- So do I......apparently to some it is. Do we really need to start dragging our kids to the ATM machine now too? -SLK | ||
| Dr. Winston O'Boogie Citizen Username: Casey Post Number: 2384 Registered: 8-2003  |
why do I get the feeling that the whole reason you started this thread was to troll for "self-righteous" responses? oh, maybe it was this:
and predictably, the reaction followed... | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4420 Registered: 12-2004 |
Camnol, I'm not that bored and I NEVER look for a fight, just have a real problem with smug self-righteousness and holier-than-thou attitudes. And, for the record, I'm one of those horrible, negligent, thoughtless, uncaring, idiotic parents who has left their children in the car, for very brief periods and only in appropriate conditions, when the car was in full view at all times. I think I'm a pretty good judge of whether I've taken appropriate precautions in any given situation when it comes to my children. It may not be what other people choose to do, but that doesn't make it any more or less right or wrong. And my children are still here and unharmed by their experience. After all: Some people change their kid's diaper the minute it gets wet, others wait a little longer. RISK: diaper rash! Some people allow their child to put the pacifier back in their mouth after they drop it on the floor, others disinfect everything before they let their child touch it. RISK: horrid, horrible, evil germs! Some people let their kids play in the mud, others can't stand dirt. RISK: again, those pesky, evil germs. Some people panic at the first indication of a fever, others let it ride depending on the child's demeanor. RISK: all kinds of potentially horrible outcomes, febrile seizures being one that comes to mind. Some people insist their child wear a helmet and other protection while on bikes, skateboards, scooters and the like, some don't. RISK: well, they're obvious. Some folks allow they're children to jump on beds, others don't. RISK: potential skull fractures and/or other broken bones. Some parents allow the little ones to drink sugary soda, others don't. RISK: rotted teeth and obesity. Some parents allow their kids to help cook a meal at the stove, others don't allow the kid in the room if the stove is on. RISK: again, obvious. Some parents allow their little ones to climb on playground equipment that may be a bit advanced for their age, some don't. RISK: pretty much the same as jumping on beds. Some allow their children to cross the street alone at a certain age, other's wait until their child is older. RISK: serious injury or death from being HBC! And the list goes on. | ||
| akb Citizen Username: Akb Post Number: 444 Registered: 12-2001 |
I understand why this is a touchy subject, but it is neither smug nor self-righteous to say that, as a parent, I do not leave my kids alone in the car, a practise which carries risks unacceptable to me and, moreover, which is risky enough to be illegal in a number of jurisdictions. Why is it OK for you to affirm SLK by saying you do the same thing, but not OK for us to say we don't? | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 2042 Registered: 7-2004  |
Scrotis can try and pretend what he did was okay, but in reality he put his children at risk, completely unnecessarily. He came here looking for validation, but the cops were right to place him on the NPWL, where he belongs evidently. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 9252 Registered: 5-2001 |
Clearly, all you parents are a bunch of screw-ups. You are either negligent or smothering. The only option is to come to those of us without children, who have never made parenting mistakes, for advice and guidance. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1931 Registered: 10-2005 |
Dr- Sorry to say you are wrong once again. I started this thread to vent, pure and simple. I ended my post with such a comment because it was inevitable that someone was going to try and nail me. But judging by this thread, I am pretty much spot on, huh? The self-righteous did come out in droves. I can't help noticing that those who disagree with me about my politics have problems with me everywhere else. Coincidence? I think not. It is no secret that one's politics is the driving factor on MOL. How pathetic. But I will not deny the surprises in this discussion either (Innisowen,Dave, greenetree, etc.). Meandtheboys said it perfectly: "I think I'm a pretty good judge of whether I've taken appropriate precautions in any given situation when it comes to my children. It may not be what other people choose to do, but that doesn't make it any more or less right or wrong. And my children are still here and unharmed by their experience." Bingo! Trust me, none of you would want to know what would happen if someone tried to harm my children. -SLK | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 4421 Registered: 12-2004 |
First off, I wasn't addressing you akb, I was addressing Camnol directly. I didn't see any evidence of you being smug, judgemental or self-righteous, and anybody has the right to agree or disagree with SLK as they see fit. There are many shades of grey in this world, and they are different for everybody. I hardly think the fact that some states choose to legislate certain aspects of parenting indicates that these aspects of parenting should be legislated. There are lots of stupid, pointless, redundant laws on the books. What next? Will they legislate the way I parent in my home? I give my kids a soda with lunch, and DYFS removes them because I put them at risk for diabetes and obesity? To me, that is an unacceptable risk and I choose not to do it. Does that mean I should be able to tell you not to do it? Further, if we were to legislate every potentially risky behavior, I think we'd all be in trouble. As I said, I think I am sufficiently able to judge the risks to my children, weigh them against other potential risks and make a choice that I feel is appropriate in any given situation. And I believe SLK is too. As Dave said, he didn't duck into the pub to watch a game and have a beer. | ||
| Hoops Citizen Username: Hoops Post Number: 1987 Registered: 10-2004  |
When I first became a parent the advice I got from my grandmother was to watch my kid like a hawk. I dont think that I could have gotten better advice from anyone. slk took a calculated risk, which he mitigated by parking close and trying to keep an eye on while in the store, but it was a risk none the less. I have left my kids in the car while I had to attend to business in a store for a few minutes. Although at that time my kids were 11 and 5, so the risk itself was small. Really parents take these risks everyday. As SLK rightly points out we leave our kids alone in their child-proofed rooms while we go off and do what we must. Some of us are very cautious and others of us are not as cautious but in the end there is no one way to raise your kid. What he did was wrong but not really that big of a deal given the conditions - cool day, short stay in the cleaners, ability to see the car at all times. Dr. W is correct that SLK seems to enjoy stirring the cauldron to see what aroma might waft. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1933 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, Important question: Do you have children? keep having your wetdream buddy. The cops asked me no questions nor did I have to produce any ID. A friendly warning was given and received. They actually looked sort of surprised when they saw me. -SLK | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 2043 Registered: 7-2004 |
Trust me, Scrote, they got your license plate number. That's all they need. And they are listening. One more slip up and it's off to Guantanamo. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1934 Registered: 10-2005 |
Thanks for understanding Hoops.... Again, I am not stirring any cauldron, just venting. I am learning that those who disagree with me the most are those who don't have children. -SLK | ||
| Hoops Citizen Username: Hoops Post Number: 1988 Registered: 10-2004 |
I dont know if you included me in this statement but I challenge the assertion. (or in plain english - bs) You posted the vent knowing full well that you were wrong, as the cops must have told you. It doesnt take a liberal to know that something is not quite right in SLK land. | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1935 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, Do me a favor. The next time you pick up your {SELF ADMITTED) "kinky wife" from outside the front of my house and you see me and my kids try to grab one of them and run off, ok? Pretty please?  -SLK | ||
| themp Supporter Username: Themp Post Number: 3222 Registered: 12-2001 |
I'm still at a loss - what is the risk, exactly? Is a parked car in maplewood village in the evening with windows open with two federally mandated, high quality car seats 25 feet from daddy more dangerous than same car, but now rolling on the GSP at 65 in heavy shore traffic? | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 2044 Registered: 7-2004 |
"I am learning that those who disagree with me the most are those who don't have children." See, now that's just making excuses for lazy, negligent parenting. | ||
| Robert Livingston Citizen Username: Rob_livingston Post Number: 2045 Registered: 7-2004 |
themp: C'mon, man, 65 on the GSP in shore traffic?? | ||
| S.L.K. 2.0 Citizen Username: Scrotisloknows Post Number: 1936 Registered: 10-2005 |
RL, again, do you have children, mr. child rearing expert? -SLK |
