| Author | Message | ||
     juju's petals Citizen Username: Jujus_petals Post Number: 220 Registered: 5-2003  |
It Girl, that sounds like the dress code at the airport gate for any mid-day flight going directly to Nashville. I used to navigate to in any airport just by the look of my tribe. You can it pick out in a heartbeat at Newark even now -- just throw in a few music types and bidnismen. And don't forget the teddybear sweatshirts. Where does anyone FIND keds anymore? | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 828 Registered: 3-2002 |
'cause "I'm not a woman anymore, I'm a mom!" VIG - love your description...seems that lots of folks also enjoy the disney (acid wash?) jean jackets/ disneyish letterman style jacks too. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3830 Registered: 5-2001 |
Buzz, that was the skit I was referring to. We're all hysterical here...  | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1670 Registered: 8-2003  |
That link is hilarious! | ||
| kmk Supporter Username: Kmk Post Number: 925 Registered: 5-2001 |
Hey - I am proud to say that my butt was too small to model Ditto brand jeans back in 1977. (They had that saddle type stitching up and over the bottom...) Now it's 2006 and I only wear my non-mom jeans when I am "going out"! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6601 Registered: 5-2001  |
Dear Friends and Readers, I have a lot of crap going on in my head and would love to share, but am afraid that either my head will explode or I will burst into tears here at my desk. "Did you hear that noise coming from Greenetree's office"? "Yeah, I walked by and there was gooey grey stuff all over the walls and her eyeballs appear to be spinning in her head". So, it will have to wait. Had my annual review meeting with my boss on Friday. It wasn't as bad as I expected, actually. One step above needing to be "on plan". I can't get that worked up about it. I've always been a top performer and I know that they are full of crap, so I don't care all that much. Apparently, what I committed to doing, I did 150%. But it seems that I did not take on as much as I could have. OK, this is a business, true. But can we at least acknowledge that fact that perhaps I was a touch distracted instead of acting like I was taking 3 hour lunches to get pedicures all the time? In keeping with Cyn's (very wise) strategy of Poker Face, I reminded her that I never missed a deadline and met every committment. And said nothing else. Oh, the other thing around here is that I am supposed to send out an annoucnement of every minor accomplishement, not just deliver the product. It is best to send out an e-mail in the morning telling everyone that I managed to tie my shoes instead of just showing up with my shoes tied. Not my style. I really don't belong here. Blah, blah, blah. To be continued....... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2243 Registered: 9-2003  |
Too familiar with successfully tied shoes. I have 4 product managers under me, and over the course of time, I've learned that it's not the meat, it's not the motion, it's the announcement of same. So, we now do weekly reports to all and sundry regarding status of all WIP and our various "accomplishments." Also, they/we all have numeric, countable goals and report progress against same. I am careful to have them be achieveable goals, so that we always come out ahead. I am even learning exec male posture, etc. to comport myself appropriately. I have not mastered a certain lean back in the chair, knees spread to adjust/air the jewels, but I have I have my own version. It works. Suxx, but works. On other fronts: The big tv my husband lives in front stopped having a picture Sunday, so that urgency is being addressed. Also, Social Security in Newark left him a voicemail announcing that he had an appointment tomorrow at 9. In the midst of rescheduling as, no, he cannot as he is having PET scans etc. Will have to take the next I can get as I must drive him and be there onnaconna WE NEED THE MONEY!! L, the lady at work with the problem, is back at work though looking hollow. I saw her fleetingly last week and stayed perky as I did not want her to be embarrassed or anything. Know no more than that. Had a crap last week, through weekend, with at least 4 teary meltdowns (at home, only). We need positive change on all fronts. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6602 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm still not sure it isn't the weather or barometric pressure. I pretty much spent the weekend melting down, too. I soooo dread going to OH on Friday. Mom asked me yesterday "are you coming to the doctor because you think it's gonna be bad news"? I told her that I don't think we are going to hear anything different from what we've been told already, even tho it isn't exactly what we want to hear. I said that we need to hear together what the doctor has to say so that we can figure things out as a family. She says she doesn't want to know; I asked "Don't you want to know if he thinks that more chemo will make you sick"? No. And I'm not moving to NJ or Chicago. I told her again that Normal Guy and I can't come running again, that we can't do what we did last year and that we can't afford home health care for her. She doesn't want to hear it and is apoplectic about staying in her own home. I am out of answers. Over the years, I have counseled many friends about how they can't make someone want to live. This is a different twist: you can't make someone see that they may be choosing to die alone (her verbalized fear) if they don't want to. Another take on the "Do Not Go Gentle" thing: she's nasty, bitchy and stubborn. She sure as hell ain't gentle. I know that she's terrified and that I have no idea what I would do in her shoes. My patience has had patience. But I am at the end of the road in terms of what I can do for her without her permission. I have to let go and it breaks my heart. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2246 Registered: 9-2003 |
For what it's worth, she could change her mind at some point. Maybe you and I keep looking for a pattern, a project plan, a way to look at the future within the pieces we know. And we can't cuz all the variables may alter at any point. That itself is wearing me out. Right now, I seem to be living to next Tue, Jan 31. Here's life: Mon Jan 23 - TV gets fixed? Tue Jan 24 - Vaca Day: Kid gets braces; husband gets scans. Wed/Thur or Fr - Visit SSI in Newark Sat Jan 28 - Kid takes SAT at 7:45 am in WOrange Tue Jan 31 - Get results of scans: cancer? worse? What comes next is anyone's guess...New dreadful take on the ol' "Sha-la-la-la-la Live for to-day-ay..." | ||
| Flik Chik Citizen Username: Flikchik Post Number: 169 Registered: 3-2004  |
Hi Greenetree, Cynicalgirl etal... I have been reading this blog since it began but never posted because you guys say most things better than I can...However, while going through some articles on health today, I found this that might be helpful... Last-minute radiation saves lung cancer patients WASHINGTON (Reuters) - Small doses of radiation meant to ease the symptoms of incurable lung cancer may actually save the lives of a few patients, surprised Australian researchers reported on Monday. About one in a hundred patients with apparently incurable non-small cell lung cancer survived five or more years after the treatments, and 18 patients were apparently cured, the researchers said. Dr. Michael Mac Manus, a radiation oncologist at the Peter MacCallum Cancer Center in Melbourne, Australia, and colleagues followed 2,337 apparently incurable lung cancer patients who had received palliative doses of radiation. Writing in the journal Cancer, they said 1.1 percent of the 2,337 patients lived five or more years after treatment -- considered remission. "Our data show that close to 1 percent of patients with NSCLC have prolonged survival with doses of palliative radiation therapy that would not normally be considered sufficient for long-term disease control," they wrote. NSCLC, the most common type of lung cancer, has an average five-year survival rate of only 40 percent. The five-year survival rate in advanced disease is only about 15 percent. Patients diagnosed with NSCLC that is too advanced to be cured can be given palliative therapies to ease pain and discomfort, including radiation. Lung cancer is by far the biggest cancer killer globally. Each year ten million people are diagnosed with lung cancer, according to the Global Lung Cancer Coalition, and half of all patients die within a year of diagnosis. Most cases are linked to smoking. http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20060123/hl_nm/cancer_lung_dc | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6605 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks, Flik. Unfortunately, Mom has already had all the radiation to the thoracic region that she can have, which is why her tumor is being treated with radioisitopes to relieve the pneumonia. Also, she has SCLC. NSCLC is usually operable and, while really crappy, is a slower growing tumor and is more responsive to different treatments. SCLC, on the other hand, is a very fast growing cancer and it sheds "small cells" (hence the name) all over the body. This is why 50% of these patients end up with brain mets. It's kind of like what happens when you drop a glass in the kitchen. It shatters and goes everywhere. You clean it all up & think you have everyting until you step on a shard that's been hiding next to the fridge a month later. Surgery is the equivalent of getting the big pieces and the pros don't outweigh the cons (usually) for having the tumor removed surgically. This is another reason why SCLC patients are candidates for radiation only if the cancer is confied to one lung and the related lymph nodes at the time of diagnosis. It is the attempt to irradiate the entire region before the "glass shards" spread outside the "kitchen". For what mom has (limited stage SCLC)and the time at which she was diagnosed, the average survival time is 16-18 months. Fifteen percent of these mothers, fathers, partners, wives, husbands, sisters, brothers, daughters, sons, grandparents, friends make it to 3 years. If they achive full response to chemo the first time around and are eligible for PCI (prophylactic cranial irradiation) , another 5% will make it to 3 years. Among the few who are eligibe for PCI, 100% show cognitive symptoms of radiation at 5 years; most cognitive deficits start showing up after one year. Tomorrow will be exactly 11 months since she was diagnosed. And the day she quit smoking. I'm sorry; I'm just feeling very preachy today. | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 840 Registered: 3-2002 |
Greentree & Cynical - I PL'd you both - not sure the feature is 100% reliable though... doula | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2250 Registered: 9-2003 |
Update: Yesterday, the kid got her braces on, Curt got all the scans, and I visited my doc and a chiro for my headaches. I'm happy to report that while one bracket from the braces came off (and we'll have to go back to have stuck on), the combination of Flexeril and the chiro seems to have made immense inroads on my headache situation. I do not have one today!!! Now, to cook up stories for next Tue a.m followup with onco doc, the following Tue visit to Soc Sec in Newark. Getting massive docs together to support the Soc Sec visit (already did the extensive online form and so on) related to proving what we spent in 05 (in pharmacy co-pays alone, $1700; waiting for the doc/hospital co-pay statement). But, at least I don't have a stress headache yet. Both my doc and the chiro called in cervical something or other -- my neck is so tight, along with my jaw and base of skull -- that my range of motion is impaired, etc. Can't think why!!! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6631 Registered: 5-2001 |
You have a headache? Huh. Someone said something very wise to me yesterday and everything suddenly clicked into place. I have been stressing and sleepless and fraught with anxiety over mom not wanting to come here or to Chicago. We had a long talk yesterday, where we both cried. Don't cry! she said on the phone. Why not? Do you think you get to do all the crying? We talked about her coming here and she was passionate about staying in Ohio. I want to die at home. And it dawned on me that she doesn't necessarily mean in her own house or bed, which I would have gladly brought here. I would have transported her entire bedroom. She means in her town, whether home or in the familiar hospital, where the nurses know her name and the cafeteria knows how she likes her food. I don't want to live with you; I want you to have a place away from all this. When you & Normal Guy talk about me coming to live with you, it means that you think that I am going to die. I realized that she knows she is going to die, but she's not going to die today. And while she may not be able to do everything, she can still work in her home office a bit and drive herself to radiation most days and fix her own meals (as long as it doesn't require much prep). She is busy living. So what were the words of wisdom? She's still a mom and she wants to be your mom and you can't take that away from her. And like a ton of bricks, it hit me that she has thought about it and she does know what's coming and she is protecting her children because that is all that she has left that is hers. She is 65, not 90 in a nursing home. She can't do much, but she can protect us, her children, from knowing how scared she is or whether she is in pain. We are willing to share that with her and help her with it, but, like a mom, she will share that with her friends and spare her children. How humiliating to have a strong, "otherwise healthy", independent woman have to ask permission from her children on how to live her life. That same wise person asked me: why do you want her with you? So that you can spend time with her or so that she won't be alone? And the answer is so that she won't be alone. And that is not my call, either. I need to let her be my mom, even if it means that I let her protect me from things that I'd rather help her with. Because to do otherwise would be the ultimate disrespect and indignity for her. This whole "death with dignity" thing is not really just about the mechanics of dying. I know now that it is about the dignity of living until the very end. It has little to do with fighting a disease or refusing life support. Rather, it's about returning the grocery cart to the corral with what little strength you have because that's what you've always done. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2251 Registered: 9-2003 |
Makes mondo sense to me. This sort of thing is why we work so hard to keep Curt's role as "dad" and "husband" intact even though he can do very little of what is stereotypically associated with those roles right now. Can't make money, open jars, fix things, whatever. Can't drive his daughter anywhere, barely take a walk, fix her bike seat. He weighs a very little bit more than his daughter, and a lot less than his wife. And, yeah, those limitations make a difference in how we all interact. Sometimes it would be a lot easier to just stick him in a room, physically or mentally, and discount. But, we pretend. Largely because we hope it will change, but also because it supports who he is. | ||
| Eats Shoots & Leaves Citizen Username: Mfpark Post Number: 2934 Registered: 9-2001  |
Greenetree--Bingo. You got it. One of those "aha!" moments. Cherish it. Your mom still has a lot to offer to you, and to herself. It is not about dying with dignity--it is about living with dignity. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 852 Registered: 10-2003 |
Memory Lane Alert: I was 18, my mom had very early onset Alzehimers (in her 40's) and even though we took baths together and slept together (under the guise of her caring for me, her baby) there were times she reminded me she was the mom. My father insisted I go away to college in an effort to lead a normal life. It was getting cold and my mom couldn't manipulate the gloves, so I purchased for her a pair of mittens. Once when my father took me to the bus back to school she fell in the parking lot, scraped her forehead, broke her glasses (that's why we carried a backup pair). She cried, I cried and she held up one mittened hand with the other hand and said, "So good. So good." She was making me feel better by reminding me what a wonderful gift I'd given her! I cry thinking about it even now. The other time she reminded me she was my mom was a few months later when I'd had knee surgery. Whenever we were set to go somewhere she would pick up my crutches and carry them – she knew I couldn't leave the house without them and she was taking them for me! It's a mom's job to take care of her child. No matter how sick she gets. Thanks for humoring me. Back to today. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2253 Registered: 9-2003 |
Kid and I just had a swearing fight over her repeated uncharged cell phone, and the effect, which is that I cannot find her when I get off the train. Upshot? She had a mini asthma attack. Christ! Curt called me on the train to say he was weak, chilly and going up to bed and to not be surprised that all the dishes are still dirty, etc. TV repair is stretching, stretching. You'd think it was minor, but in this house it is major that the man cannot while away the hours, easily, in front of it. Neither can he easily get to the kid's pigsty room to watch, nor the basement for DVD only viewing. Crab, crab. I do not have a headache, though. I have three odd thoughts/riffs in my head: 1. The Catholic statues of Jesus where he's holding his garments and skin aside to reveal a brightly painted red heart. I found them creepy as a Protestant kid when I had to sleepover in my Catholic cousin's room. I think I feel like that statue, though. 2. Many scenes from an odd movie, with Robin Williams, called What Dreams May Come. It's pretty eccentric, and I love it. Anyway, Robin's family has some dreadful tragedies, and they send his wife around the bend into a suicidal place. His great revelation is that he had not been willing to truly descend with her, completely share her despair, and that had separated him from her. It was onlyl when he stopped the convenient platitudes, the talk of "healing" and "closure," that he was able to join her and sorta bring her back (kind of). 3. Some stray Leonard Cohen song, with a line about "...none of us would join her in the house of mystery/misery..." On the upside: I just washed all the dishes, took out the trash. May do some laundry. Suzanne takes you do-ow-nn, to her place by the ri-ver.... Sometimes life hurts and all the art and poetry and what-not just doesn't help at all, dammit. I think I feel lonely and the only person who ever really joined me in the house of mystery/misery is lying upstairs asleep. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2263 Registered: 9-2003 |
Ride to Orthodonist? Can any of you pick my kid up at MMS at say 1/2 to 2 to take her to Orthodonist on Millburn Ave? Visit should be 1/2 hr. She would need a ride back to school from there. I have about 1/2 hr to put this together and if any of you can do this I'm most appreciative. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2264 Registered: 9-2003 |
Doulamomma stepped into the breach! Or whatever that cliche is...one orthodontist emergency narrowly avoided...Thank you, Mme D! | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3061 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn - Is that Dr. Steinberg? I didn't see your post until now, but could have done it if I knew. Feel free to PL/email me next time, if there's a next time. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2268 Registered: 9-2003 |
It's Dr. Caplan, sac. Thanks for the offer! Actually, I did give you a call as I played dialing for rides -- but the ortho gave me a narrow window of opportunity for this "emergency" visit so I jumped on doulamomma's offer. I appreciate your offer, and now all is well.... | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 874 Registered: 3-2002 |
My pleasure, Cynical...Cynical, Jr. was as cool as I thought she might be (given her mom's posts)! I told her all about the days before colored braces, when we had to walk 5 miles in the snow just to get crappy, plain metal braces... doula | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3062 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm glad it worked out. D - Being that I lived in the subtropics as a kid, I probably would have been thrilled to walk five miles in the snow - even to the orthodontist for crappy metal braces. Instead, I had to ride in an un-airconditioned car (my parents were cheap!) in the Houston heat and humidity for same.  | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 877 Registered: 3-2002 |
sac, So as not to invite the feelings of anger that a less-than-truthful memoirist can face these days, I'll come clean: it was TN, rarely snowy & I was driven (in air conditioning!) by my mom...but the braces were crappy & metal - that part was true. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6650 Registered: 5-2001 |
Strange time, folks. Back from Ohio yesterday. My resolution for today is not to cry. The news was not good, but my mom is, strangely enough, happy. She's now extensive/Stage IV; mets to the brain and liver. Her doc asked her what she wanted to do; she asked him all about the chemo, pros/cons how sick it would make her, etc. She said "OK, let's go". I told him that we have had a family discussion and that she is staying put. He looked at her & she said "I'm having fun, I can make business calls a couple hours every day, I run errands. What am I going to do at my kids'? I don't want to be with strange people at a strange hospital". She told him that she's having fun, she's happy and she just knows that she isn't going to die yet. So there. He asked her a bunch of questions about how much time she spends in bed, if she's eating. She told him that she naps everyday and forces herself to eat even if she isn't hungry sometimes. We spent lots of time talking, she & I. She knows things are limited, but she is not going to talk about dying when she doesn't feel like she is. She's making plans to come here for seder and asked if a friend from Florida could come, too. She still ran me ragged; picked me up from the airport Friday, we took the cat to the vet (it worries me that she can't pick up the cat carrier at 15 pounds, total), went to the doctor, went to lunch, sat and talked about Everything But for two hours. I haven't been telling her about my job crap because I didn't want her to stress about me, but I told her all about Psycho Land. She was happy; gave advice, commiserated. I am trying to be better about being the daughter. Ironic, because I've never really talked to her (or anyone) about my problems. By the time I verbalize it, I usually have a solution. However, here we are in that trite, old "never too late to do things differently" place. After lunch, we went to Kmart to return a book. Mom goes up to Customer Service, not another person in sight. She hands the book and receipt to the cashier and says "I bought this before I realized that I had it already. I know that it's past the return date, but I was in the hosp..." Another cashier comes over and shows the CS cashier a receipt and asks her a question. I saw the look in Mom's eye. Uh-oh. EXCUSE ME. Did I interrput you? I'm so terribly sorry. Oh, excuse me, but I have a line of customers.... OK. I just got out of the hospital. Wanna have a contest? I never knew that Kmart cashiers could move so fast. The manager came over and mom tells her that she's sorry for yelling, but that she's just tired of rude people. They fell all over her. Later, in the car, she says to me "If I'm going to die, I'm going to tell people what I'm thinking". If you are in Ohio and see a tiny little bald woman in a really cute outfit, please don't piss her off. We go to the grocery store. TS calls me while we are in produce: You know I adore your family and indulge the neuroses, but GMF keeps calling because she can't reach your mother and she is terribly worried. I tell Mom "You have to call her (she's left 3 messages for mom already today)". I don't want to. What do we tell her? We decide that we won't tell her anything about the mets, because liver cancer is what her husband/mom's dad died of and it will send her over the edge. We never told her about the brain mets. We will tell her only that the lung tumor is back and that she is going to have some more chemo, but will wait until the week she starts (two weeks). The best laid plans of mice and men... Normal Bro called. I'm sorry, I was rushing to a meeting, GMF caught me and I blew your cover. I told her not to worry about mom, that "they" were shopping. Don't worry about it. So, I call her. Came only for appointment, didn't want to worry, leaving in the morning, blah, blah. She is a basket case. She also seemed very surprised when I reminded her that she & mom are to have brunch on Sunday. The very sad fact of the matter is that, through all of this, she doesn't know what to say to my mom when she is healthy. Only when she is laying in a hospital bed, with tubes, does she make a big production out of "worrying" about her. Oh, I know. She is 88 (I realize that I've told you the wrong age) and doesn't know how to deal with the overwhelming grief of her only child having such a serious disease. But, for godssake, pull your head out of your ••• and deal with it. It doesn't help that GMF's banker called me on Thursday about some annual transactions that mom used to do for her. I told her that even tho I'm the POA, I would have my brother call her. But, I asked her how much was in the account. She ain't Trump, but it stil kills me that there is plenty there to help her daughter who hasn't worked in a year and that she would slit her wrists before giving up a penny. One thing that mom is worried about is her brain mets. Apparently, one of her "horse friends" died of lung cancer last week; he had horrible brain mets. Mom didn't want to call his wife, but she did do it on Wednesday. Unfortunately, in her grief, the widow gave my mom the blow-by-blow of the last two weeks, including his being in diapers. This terrifies her. I reminded her that every cancer is different, and that she just completed brain radiation. She doesn't have equilibrium issues and we've noticed that her memory has improved. She won't die in diapers, I assure her. When I can't do what I'm doing anymore, I just want it to be quick. I replied that this isn't what I wanted for her, that I'd kind of hoped that she would walk out in front of a bus at the prime of her life, on her way to snowboarding, and that it would be quick. When she dropped me off, she said "Don't cry". Why, are you going to? No, I just don't want you to cry. No, I'll do it later. Oh, honey, I don't want you to cry. That's easy for you to say. Your mom doesn't have cancer. Always leave 'em laughing.... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2280 Registered: 9-2003 |
Man oh man. I'm sorry greenetree. What an exhausting mess. I can't tell from what you said: Is she going to do more chemo? I certainly can see why she wants to stay in Ohio, amongst the familiar. Some of what she's saying sounds a lot (forgive me) like the dialog in Last Holiday, which the kid and I saw last night. The business about being honest and so on. Here, we're just waiting for Tue a.m. results. Curt's sister just called and said ok-ish things, briefly. She has MS but has thus far dodged the cancer bullet. She just talks to me about watching all her relatives die, albeit at some distance. I didn't really want to talk about that. The lovely las took me to the Urgent Care this morning as I thought I *might* be having a heart attack. Racing pulse that wouldn't stop, elevated blood pressure. Turns out to be -- uh -- anxiety. Jeez.... Got to catch up on my laundry, but couldn't not speak about your post. I'm trying to hope that I won't be in a similar (kinda/sorta) place. His sister was asking when he'd be well enough to come down for a visit. I'm like, I can't plan anything from one week to the next right now... Crap. | ||
| wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1982 Registered: 5-2001 |
Man oh man is right. I also am running around but can also not not respond to greenetree's and your posts. Just know that while I can read all of your moving posts at work I feel the security posting gods are watching there and I dare not post - not even sure if reading is ok but I haven't been blocked thus far. Cyn, I hope you would have called me if you couldn't reach las. Greenetree, I continue to get so absorbed in your incredible insights and ability to put thoughts and emotions to words. My thoughts and well wishes are with both of you. Wendy | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6653 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yes, she is doing more chemo. She has to have a bunch of tests this week to make sure that her heart can take this particular drug and will start next Friday (2/10). I find that it is incredibly difficult to talk to her friends. They all call, wanting to wring hands, plan the end, worry. I am trying to take my cue from my mom. One well-meaning person yesterday said "I know this person, she took car of X, Y and Z. They've all died in the last year. She can give meds and keep her company". I finally snapped and said "I'm not really worried about that. Right now, it's about checking in every day or so, running to the grocerty store if she's too tired, etc. Medicare will pay for hospice when it comes to that". I have to work on not panicking when mom isn't home for a few hours. I knew that she & GMF were going to brunch yesterday around 1p. When I hadn't heard from mom by 5:30p, I was a bit stressed. She called at 6:15p to tell me that brunch was fine, and she didn't want me to worry, that she'd been to Walmart with the neighbor. I'm doing OK, but am on a delicate edge. We went to see Brokeback Mountain yesterday. Oh my god. Heart-wrenching. Heath Ledger must get that award. I'm glad I didn't know the ending, I would have avoided it (not doing "sad" these days). But then, my one addiction, Grey's Anatomy, was on last night and I lost it when the old woman had her tube taken out and her daughter was holding her hand and Meredith broke down because she doesn't want her mother to die alone. Ya know, it really pisses me off when some Hollywood screenwriter, whose job it is to take us away from it all for an hour, gets poignant and realistic. It would have been so much better if she & Derrick had just started making out in the supply closet. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3895 Registered: 5-2001 |
Agreed. I was streaming tears too. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2282 Registered: 9-2003 |
This is why I don't see any serious movies right now, and read only nonsense. I. Do. Not. Want. Realism. I'll take Reese Witherspoon or Adam Sandler over heavy...and home improvement, or Brangelina! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6656 Registered: 5-2001 |
Speaking of which, I was really annoyed by this weeks' People. The cover story screamed "How is Jen Dealing" and there was nothing but fluff inside. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2944 Registered: 9-2003 |
Oh God, Greenie. I was SO hoping that you weren't watching that show last night. Yea, it always sucks when their fantasy world merges with our real ones. It's why my husband refuses to see movies that make him think and feel... just make him laugh and it's all good. Hold tight, your mom ain't there yet. And why worry when you can't find her? Did the thought not cross your mind that she might have been in jail after stabbing GMF's hand with her fork during brunch? Hey.. could happen. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6657 Registered: 5-2001 |
Um, actually we had that discussion on Saturday. We were talking about something or another regarding GMF and I said "It probably is a good idea that you don't want to know time frames and don't feel like you are dying". "Why? Are you afraid that you'll be left alone with her"? "No. Well, yes, that does bother me, but I'm really worried that the first thing you would do after hearing that you are definitely on limited time is to run her over with your car". She laughed. But she never said she wouldn't do it.....  Over the past year, whenever she gets really mad at GMF, I have to remind her that the health care in jail is probably not the greatest. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2283 Registered: 9-2003 |
Look, you cannot expect real dirt from People. Never. You must read Star for that. Also, US Weekly is OK. You really do need to downgrade your tabloids. People just panders. They don't even know that Brangelina's baby is due on May 2 -- or that Angelina is just a lit-tle worried about whacko tendencies the kid might have given her past. Personally, I want to now how Vince is dealing. I'd snap up that lovable, partying lunk in a NY minute. Brad is worrying too much about skincare regimes and the agine process. Star was the periodical that first revealed that Osama's real prob with the U.S. was U Chicago girl he onece dated commented unfavorably on his member and prowess. | ||
| BGS Citizen Username: Bgs Post Number: 575 Registered: 10-2003 |
Greenetree...when I was speaking with you over the past weekend, you had all this stuff bottled up inside and did not allow that part of your life ruin a good evening for all the people that you were with...you are amazing (which is probably not what you want to hear either)...prayers continue for your family...and especially that your Mom will get to do it her way without you worrying yourself to pieces... Blessings for all the Greenie's.... | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 887 Registered: 3-2002 |
Why would Vince be sad? Did they break up?? Jeesh - you skip a manicure & this is what you miss. Was watching TV & saw some other show/movie preview & thinking that I really hoped Greentree. Cynical & others were not watching. Speaking of wanting a fluff movie, I'm not sure how I was under this impression, but when I went to see Million Dollar Baby last year, I thought it would be like a female Rocky...I hate boxing (have to cover my eyes), but thought it might be uplifting...  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6661 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yeah - TS is not happy with me because I won't see it because she dies at the end. That's all I need to know. I am in no mood to get attached to characters and bond with their psyche and have them die. But in real life, the boxer didn't really die! she cries. I don't care. In the movie she does. I also won't go see King Kong because I won't do any movies where animals die. It's all animation. Animals don't really get hurt, I am told. I know that. It's the idea and the reminder that animals do, IRL, get hurt. I can't watch "Charlotte's Web" without sobbing at the end. How do you kill the title character in a children's movie, fergodssake!?! If we go to see a movie of any sort that has an incidental animal in it, I spend the whole movie worrying if it will be OK. There is probably something wrong with me. As for Vince, he might feel insecure if Jen is upset about her ex-husband's new life, dontcha think? Can you get a subscription to the Star? Without the divorce, I mean. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 872 Registered: 10-2003 |
Did you know TS can liken different spots on her hand to burgers that are rare, medium or well done? Facsinating! Better than any movie I've ever seen. (Greentree, she is definitely a keeper.  )Lynn | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2284 Registered: 9-2003 |
Im tellin' ya, Legally Blond is what you seek. Also, the Queen Latifah movie. Light comedies. The only reason Vince *might* be sad is if he has to constantly comfort Jennifer over Brangelina's doings. In point of fact, rumor has it (!) that Vince has moved in with Jen. It's a drag to be a crying towel. I'm also happy for Nicole and Keith. How on earth anyone can bear Tom Cruise is beyond me. |
