| Author | Message | ||
     Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3293 Registered: 5-2001 |
What is wrong with some people!? My cousin got engaged over the summer. She and her BF had their ups and downs over 6 or so years. She's 29, he's in his early 30's. It was hard for him to commit to marriage, but after buying a co-op and living together he realized he was ready. She accepted the ring. Unlike most other Bridezillas, she has shown no real interest in planning her big day other than to say she wants a destination wedding. Just saw her Weds. We were talking about my brother's wedding and she mentioned BM dresses once or twice. I didn't ask. My mom just called me heartbroken. Her fiance found out she's been seeing someone else. Maybe for a year, maybe longer. He called my aunt hysterical crying. She says she didn't realize he loved her so much. (???) Why would she take the ring? I don't understand. Are people so afraid of confrontation they live lies? What the hell was she thinking? | ||
| Vertifly Citizen Username: Vertifly Post Number: 165 Registered: 7-2005  |
Hole #10 - Par People's Ability to Chronically Lie to Themselves and Others | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1322 Registered: 8-2003  |
holy cow VIG - that's pretty crazy. did she plan to marry him and continue to see someone else?? I feel bad for the guy... | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3297 Registered: 5-2001 |
We do too Pip. Now my mom told me I'm not supposed to know. My aunt is a wreck. She said "I didn't raise you to be like this..." Like I said, she was pretty quiet about any wedding plans. Maybe she thought she'd end it soon enough. I HOPE, hope...they get counseling and can work through it. Maybe she will realize how stupid she was and maybe he'll be able to forgive her and trust her again. But I am such a romantic I don't know if that's possible in reality. Found out this fling lasted about three years. The other guy didn't know she was engaged. What a liar! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3299 Registered: 5-2001 |
Shows how stupid I am. He suspected something. Had her sign papers putting his name of the deed of the co-op. She laid oout most of the cash but he gutted & renovated the whole place. He left. Took her jewelry. (He bought her nice stuff over the past 6 or so years.) Does not want her back. Oh well, you play with fire...  | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1323 Registered: 8-2003 |
I wouldn't want her back either. Three years isn't a fling, it's a relationship. They don't need help, she does. I hope she gets it. sorry VIG, I like your cousin too, but she seems so...well, duplicitous. And very very consued. She actually sunk money into a piece of property with a man she was cheating on. That's just insane. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1324 Registered: 8-2003 |
confused I meant confused | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3301 Registered: 5-2001 |
I agree. Do you know which cousin this is? M...same age as my sister. I know, she's stupid. I can't imagine what the hell she was thinking this would lead to. I love her but... | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1325 Registered: 8-2003 |
Oh, for some reason I thought it was C. of course you still love her, she is your cousin. so is she still with the other guy? | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3302 Registered: 5-2001 |
C is much younger...only 23. I don't know what the deal is. Now my mom is mad at me. We were supposed to meet at her house tomorrow to get measured for BM dresses at 3pm, but A has cheerleadng at some point and 2 b-day parties. Plus I have to pay over $415 for mine and the 2 older girls' dresses. No mention of my brother paying some of it...  PLUS...I finally have a hair appt. and Mr. Shh is stuck in traffic! Grrr.... | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 483 Registered: 10-2003 |
I agree with Pippi - this whole thing is very consued. (outstanding word, by the way - may I borrow it?) How's your hair, VIG? Was it raining when you got our of the salon? Do you think your Mom wished you a bad hair day because you can't show up for the fittings? | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3305 Registered: 5-2001 |
I love my hair. It's now a short, shaggy—but sleek bob again. Alma did an outstanding job as usual. Though now I have messy bed head, and not in a sexy way. I didn't even realize "consued" WAS a word. Pippi meant "confused!" Nah, my mom is not like that. I might go anyway, but she realized she never told me or my sister we needed to give cash today. Worst case scenario I call the measurements in and pay her when I see her next week. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1326 Registered: 8-2003 |
can't wait to see your hair! No offense to Mima, but you are too old to worry about this bridesmaid dress B___shi_. (and I don't mean old in a bad way - I mean MATURE) that's my personal opinion. I know you've said all your siblings gave the honor, but still.... las knew I meant confused - she's just bein' funny. las - of course you may borrow it! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3307 Registered: 5-2001 |
I know, Pip, but I can't say NO. It's too important to E. I don't mind the dress at all.  Not too bad. Might cut the contrasting hem off and wear it again, if I ever have the need. Yes, I am, on average, about ten years older than the rest of "the girls" so I suppose I will bring much needed sophistication to the group.  | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 484 Registered: 10-2003 |
I don't like the dress (look at the model's face - don't think she likes it either). VIG, you are probably the only woman who can actually carry that style, and it will only look lovely because of you, not the design. To ward off a potential wedding party disaster, would you, personally, consider hiring hair and makeup artists? This way you won't all be stuck with the pink lip/blue eye scenario and tafeta flowers in your upswept hair? (Do I sound too harsh? If so, I'm sorry - I just never understood this whole phenomenon.) I find this whole bridesmaid thing very consuing. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3308 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, I am one of the "big" ones in the group! My cousin is the most voluptuous, my sister is a little bigger than I am, and the rest of the girls are my size or smaller. I think for my cousin the dress might look a little cutesie, but it's not the worst...we tried on much worse! I think she wants us all to do our hair similarly, up, but since my hair is shorter, I don't give a rat's arse. If I keep my hair chin length or above I will get my hair cut that day by Alma and f' the updo. As far as makeup goes, I will bring a fabric swatch to my girls at NM and ask about good coordinating colors and I will do my own the day of the wedding. Since my own wedding—the first and last time I hired a makeup artist— this is what I do for big events where I am wearing an atypical color, and it looks fine in pictures. As far as the shoes go, she told me she will look for something with a 2 inch heel so I will be comfortable, but she's thinking gold and will wait until the dresses come in, maybe January, to start the search. I told her they should be reasonable. I am thinking I will get my girls inexpensive gold ballerina flats from Tarjay. I still need to get a flower girl dress for H. I am hoping to find something on sale! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3309 Registered: 5-2001 |
Ok, I decided I am going to try and be nice. I feel bad that I was a b-ahtch about the darn shoes. It just seems so silly to me, but I suppose it's important to her. (Won't be in a few years, but now it is.) And besides, my sister and I decided we will do funky manicures and pedicures to coordinate with the dress... a "cloud/fawn" (shimmery blue/beige) two tone. I originally told my mom I'd do black on my toes, but I think coordinating with the dress will be the perfect in-joke between my sister and I. I love my sister. We can tolerate each other and we bring each other to a mid point, if you know what I mean. (No, why would you?) We are very different. She is a lot like my mom. Always wanting to do the right thing. I am not like that so much. I hope she gets married soon. That would be fun! We already discussed my dress. We are lucky to have each other! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3319 Registered: 5-2001 |
Well, I came up with a great flower girl dress solution. When my older girls were flower girls twice in one year (my other brother, Mr. Shh's sister) they wore the most adorable dresses. When we had them cleaned, the cleaner took off all these cute satin roses, so the remaining dresses were pretty plain. They have sat in a closet in my mom's house for 3+ years. Since we ordered extra fabric to make sashes for the older girls' dresses, I thought, what about adding a sash to the flower girl dress, so she will coordinate better with the bridal party. My mom thought it was a perfect solution. If we feel we need more detail, we will buy little coordinating satin roses at the craft store. I have size 2 & size 4, so either will probably fit the little peanut. I loved the dress on the girls, and if I had to buy a new one would end up with the same thing anyway. | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 5426 Registered: 12-2001  |
HAPPY NEW YEAR | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3789 Registered: 5-2001 |
10:30 the other night my mom gets an urgent call from my future sister in law. She needed to come over to discuss something with my mom. The news, she changed her wedding dress again. I'm sure when Keisha at Kleinfeld's sees her, she runs into a corner and rolls into a ball. The new dress is not as unique as the other one, but more traditional bridesy, very full ball gown skirt, beading and a bow in the back. Now six months ago this girl ordered her dress without all the covered bottons because she thought it looked too fussy. Oh well. Not that it matters, but I preferred the other dress. It was not something I would have picked for myself, but it was very dramatic and different, and not too many people could pull it off. She is teensy AND curvy. This new dress anyone could wear. We're still stuck with those dresses above. They just look so much more casual than her gown. Gotta get the gold strappy sandals too. I'm not complaining, she told me she won't pick a heel higher than 2 inches. Whew. Looks like my sister will be following suit shortly. Her BF called me to ask about getting an engagement ring made up. I suppose she's been leaving pictures around so he's sending one to me, as if she didn't give me explicit instructions! I will help him. Don't know where they'll end up getting married, but she already told me I could pick my dress. Now to get them to move from Park Slope to Maplewood! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3925 Registered: 5-2001 |
My bridezilla sister-in-law just called me. She wants to get gold shoes to go with the bridesmaid dress above. She's like a size 6 shoe. Perfect little teensy cinderella feet. I have a size 9. BIG MAMA feet. She can't seem to understand that at this stage of my life, I don't want to spend $70 on uncomfortable shoes. Now she tells me it's a gold 2 1/2 inch heeled thong. OUCH. She asked why I can't just buy them and wear them for the pictures. I love this girl, I do, but I might have to strangle her. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1242 Registered: 10-2002  |
Why on earth does she care whether you have a 1 inch heel or 2 1/2 inch heel?? Unless she picked her bridesmaids because they're all the same height, everyone will look different heights in the pictures even with the same heel height. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3927 Registered: 5-2001 |
Funny thing is, I am the tallest at almost 5' 7", while her sisters are 5' 2" and under. It's not even the heel height that bugs me. Generally thongs kill me. Plus, it's a whole day thing, I have 3 kids to worry about, I don't want my feet to hurt. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1243 Registered: 10-2002 |
Just tell her by "thong" you thought she meant underwear  | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2958 Registered: 9-2003 |
If one is not accostomed to wearing thong-shoes.. one will get blisters in most uncomforatable places... and you could break your neck.. ankle.. whatever.. tell you you love her, but must draw the line where danger to person is involved. .. then wear your gold cowboy boots!  | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3938 Registered: 5-2001 |
My sister said my toes are going to touch the pavement, either that or I get them in a size 12. My cousin and sister complained they were uncomfortable but she insisted they buy them. She called me and said they rated them a 4 out of 5 for comfort. I said who's "they?" I told my mom she's gonna end up with a spiked heel in her eye, and let's see how she looks walking down the aisle with an eye patch. Then she b!tched about my sister to me, telling me my sister only said they were uncomfortable because all her feelings are coming out (I suppose like how she wants to impale her with a spiked heel in the other eye.). | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1711 Registered: 8-2003 |
Wear them for pictures and walking down the aisle. Change your shoes for the reception. While pictures are being taken, but not of you, wear slippers. You will be happy, she will happy. OR tell her she is being unreasonable. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3939 Registered: 5-2001 |
I did. I also told her I have no intention on spending $60 on shoes, and then have to buy a second pair. I will not wear slippers, but I will wear comfortable, yet appropriate looking gold strappy sandals. (And if those thongs happen to be comfy, fine, but I'm not going to be coerced into wearing uncomfortable shoes!) BTW, she already told me I had to wear a padded bra. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1712 Registered: 8-2003 |
I didn't mean slippers for the reception, I meant for waiting around while the 100s of pictures are taken (if they are done before the shindig) you HAVE to wear a padded bra??!! in addition to the same shoe, you all have to boast the same cup size?? gimme a frikkin' break. she's nuts. and you might be slightly nuts for allowing her to insist you wear a padded bra. I'd go braless for that one | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1256 Registered: 10-2002 |
Does your brother know what he's getting himself into? My jaw just hit the floor when I read the padded bra request.... WTF? | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3940 Registered: 5-2001 |
All right, I might have made that one sound worse for the effect. When we were dress shopping and I was braless she made that comment, and I said I didn't really care, I hate strapless bras and maybe I'll have cups sewn in. She asked why I didn't want to make my boobs look bigger. My mom, who likes thongs generally, couldn't take more than 3 steps. My poor cousin and sister already spent the $ and will definitely have to get another pair of shoes, neither of them could walk. Meanwhile the lady in the store told my sister and cousin how she badmouthed them, and how she told her a lot more summer styles would be out this month. She also said she offered to show her a bridal line but she insisted on going with this shoe. My sister told her we love her like a sister but it's our way to be honest. No response. I told them they're nuts for going along with shoes they can't even walk in just to please her. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1713 Registered: 8-2003 |
Can your sister and cousin can get their money back? Hope so. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3943 Registered: 5-2001 |
Nope. It's one of these "exchange only" stores. Meanwhile, my mom devised a plan to put padding around the toe thingy so they could at least be ok for pictures, but they will both buy a second pair of shoes. My brother is sick over the whole thing. They have been fighting and she is making a really big deal about this. Of course my mother will not tell her sisters about the toe padding idea, let them go barefoot! Oh, and the bride to be complained to me that none of us is helping her with the planning. Her sisters, all young and single, couldn't care less. I would help her do certain things, but you know I have my hands full with my family and house. My sister works long hours and so does my cousin. I told her I got married and never had a car load of people accompanying me to do every little thing. All I expected of my bridesmaids was to be there on the wedding day! I really feel bad for my brother. She's nuts. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1716 Registered: 8-2003 |
I wonder why she is making such a big deal about something as silly as shoes. It must mean that every single detail is a big deal -- which is a great way to have a disappointing wedding. If she expects perfection ever step of the way and doesn't just chill the f@#k out, she will be miserable when some other person involved (florist, photographer, whatever) makes a mistake because nothing is perfect and mistakes happen and sometimes you just need to "go with it" even if you think THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT DAY OF MY LIFE. because it's not and in the end, it doesn't matter what shoes the bridemaids are wearing! She'll have a much better time at her own wedding if she quits this nonsense. my rant is over. I do feel bad for your brother because I wonder if her intractability (word?) is indicative of other issues. And why would anyone help her if she is insisting they wear something and spend the money on something they don't want? I wouldn't help. They joy for the occasion and my happiness for the bride would be gone. [feel free to print this out and give it to her!] | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3944 Registered: 5-2001 |
I know. She doesn't get it. She obsesses over every detail, and besides that she has no self confidence so she second guesses every choice she makes (hence changing her gown two or more times). She is spending $900 on hair extensions so she can get highlights (why she just doesn't get highlights, I have no clue) because she read it photographs better than solid hair color. Did I tell you she booked bachelor/bachelorette parties in Vegas the week before the wedding? My feeling is, she wanted to make sure my brother didn't do anything stupid, but she told my cousin she felt they needed to get away before the wedding. She barely has any girlfriends, just a couple, and none of them are even going. I think it will be her and E and a few of his friends. Meanwhile, my cousin said "what about the honeymoon? Aren't you going away right AFTER the wedding?" I think she didn't have such a great childhood, her parents are nuts and had 5 girls because they kept trying for a boy. Her mom badmouths her children in front of anyone who'll listen (including me) and K is a good kid (under normal circumstances). I think to her this wedding is much more than just a day, but you're right, this is unrealistic. Plus, I think you and I treated our weddings much different than most people do. To me, esp. since we paid for it, I considered it the biggest party we'd ever have. My mom and mother-in-law insisted we get a limo, otherwise I would have had my parents drive me there. Not to say I didn't obsess about certain things, but I had a much more realistic view, and wanted a fun, casual atmosphere. I wasn't trying to impress anyone, just show them a good time (and not go into dept for years to do it). | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 909 Registered: 10-2003 |
What about lacing her decaf skim latte with half a xanax? Or what about connecting with Brett to get some of his Bridezilla coping techniques (or give him the other half xanax)? For what it's worth, I have two sisters who don't speak because one ruined the other's wedding by not wearing the blue eyeshadow the makeup artist wanted to apply. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3945 Registered: 5-2001 |
Are you serious about the blue eyeshadow??? After how many years do they still not speak? My mother is hoping I will buy and wear the shoes so my brother doesn't have to deal with this nonsense. I am refusing, but I feel bad for my mom and brother. My mom would do anything for me, and my brother always comes through when we need him. Now I feel guilty, but I already told the maniac I wouldn't wear uncomfortable shoes, and these have proven to be uncomfortable. What the heck should I do? I really do not want to give in to this nonsense, but I feel for my brother and mother. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 910 Registered: 10-2003 |
Buy the shoes, wear them for the photos, slip into the comfortable ones for the reception, like Pippi said. There are lots of places to not give in (like attending group shopping expeditions), but for sixty dollars, think of it as a favor to your brother, your own private wedding gift for him. It is nonsense, you are right. But you aren't doing favors for her, you are doing them for your brother. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1257 Registered: 10-2002 |
I agree with las - get the shoes...for your brother's sake. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3950 Registered: 5-2001 |
Well, only two hours until my bro comes by with the shoes. My sister told me she got blisters just from trying them on, but at least watching my cousin try to walk in them was comic relief. This little brat better watch her step. Is it terribly vindictive of me to imagine myself falling over in the shoes with a full glass of red wine, headed right towards her? No, BAD VIG, BAAAAD... |
