| Author | Message | ||
     SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 3084 Registered: 9-2003 |
In Cleveland.. by the lake.. there's the world's largest rubber stamp... and it IS large.. but it's not rubber.. and you can't stamp anything with it. There's also the rock & roll hall of fame - which would be a much more fun place from which to receive something. Have a good trip Greenie.. hope Spring follows you out there so you and Greenemom can do a little diggin' in the garden. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6890 Registered: 5-2001  |
"I've been thinking it might be nice if you brought me back a _______ " Redneck Free bible (new testament) Hall of Fame keychain Buckeye (nah, wrong season) Trail bologna Soapbox derby racer Person who doesn't know anyone Jewish Choose one. Thanks, all. Unfortunately, the weather is supposed to be rainy, but mom isn't really up for spending lots of time outside now, anyway. Unless you count the walk back and forth from the car in the Walmart parking lot. That she can do. Perhaps I will have some good GMF vs. Mom stories next week. Did I mention that TS is going on this trip? Another reason to keep mom/GMF separated. Whenever TS spends time with the two of them together in the same place, she threatens to divorce me for making her be there. | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 3097 Registered: 5-2005  |
Hang in there TS you are the rock. Find the game section to relax and a gin or wine...  Only good Karma! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1210 Registered: 10-2003 |
I'll take the redneck, please. So long as he's straight. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1889 Registered: 8-2003  |
How about a bible-toting , soap box racing, redneck who never met a Jew? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6892 Registered: 5-2001 |
Pip - that's redundant on so many levels..... | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1211 Registered: 10-2003 |
Don't laugh, Pippi - I'm that desperate. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2449 Registered: 9-2003  |
greenetree, am I right in thinking you'll be playing Randy Newman on this road trip ("Burn on Big River???"). Visiting Toledo, the Glass Capital of the World? Columbus, the Land that Time Forgot? Logan, land of Beer, Shots and Rednecks? Couldn't resist. Wishing you a good trip, with some fun, some funky chili, etc. Glad the Baby Bro is stepping up. Ya never know... (For anyone interested, Curt seems to have come down from 50 MG to 25 MG Fentanyl OK. This is good! Eating a lot, gained 2 lb, more alert. Please pray/say that Spring is here, on every level). | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6894 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn - that's great news. Just think, at this rate, he'll be full-on ready for BBQ season. Ahhh... nothing like that first burger on the grill each Spring! Does Curt like guacamole? Nice and fattening, and TS makes the best in the world. She'll make him some so that he can have a guac burger. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2451 Registered: 9-2003 |
He eats it off the spoon. Like brie. Really, it's dreadful. He eats like a pig last month or so, I mean wants to lift all racks out of the fridge at once, put in microwave, then munch. I wake up in the a.m. and see crusts of liverwurst sandwiches, abandoned pie crusts, classes of Hawaiin punch. Has a basket of snickers minis next to the recliner. And weighs 118 lb. Yes, he does poop a fair amount, but I sweardagod I don't know where it goes. Maybe now it will begin to stick. Whereas I ..... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6899 Registered: 5-2001 |
Next batch, I promise. Damn, I should have brought him over some of the chopped liver TS made the other day. She took it to work instead. Sorry. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1891 Registered: 8-2003 |
mmmmmmmm....chopped liver.......... <drool> | ||
| BGS Citizen Username: Bgs Post Number: 720 Registered: 10-2003 |
Cyn---such great news about Curt...prayers and good vibes continue to flow for you all and Greenie and the group! Ciao- B | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2463 Registered: 9-2003 |
Got some good money news today, and feel superstitious posting it but I will. Have to tell you guys that dealing with all of this brings it out in me, like we can't have unalloyed good news, or any good news must be followed by bad news. Well, here's the good news: I learned this morning that Curt was approved for Social Security Disability, and he will get half again for our minor child. There will be some back payment as he was actually disabled as of December 2004. Everyone said to be prepared to be turned down the first time. Didn't happen, but then he really has been utterly disabled. If any of you find yourself having to file, or file for a friend/loved one, I highly recommend doing the online form. It is long. It is detailed. It is painful. But, if you have all the docs names/addresses, facilities, timelines -- and most important! -- copies of whatever medical paperwork you can get, it can be done. The lady at SS told me that what sped it up (and technically we started the file on 12/31/05)was that we'd done the electronic form and we had 7 months worth of hard copy of the doctor's case notes (that stuff they dictate) and 7 months of hard copy of lab results. So, we didn't have every possible document, but we had an awful lot. Either they just used all of that, or they went out to fill the holes. In any case, it worked. | ||
| BGS Citizen Username: Bgs Post Number: 735 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thank goodness for your good news~!!!!! Thanks for sharing!~ B | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2464 Registered: 9-2003 |
There's also a gruesome section on the official Social Security site in which you can read a lot of info, disease/condition in detail, to get a sense of their criteria (which isn't really arbitary). Stuff about levels of this and that, related to prognosis. I was reading it just this past Friday (over lunch!). | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2465 Registered: 9-2003 |
http://www.socialsecurity.gov/disability/professionals/bluebook/AdultListings.ht m Fascinating stuff if you are into this sort of thing... | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 7119 Registered: 5-2001 |
So glad it worked out and that you got the approval so quickly. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6918 Registered: 5-2001 |
Back from O-hi-o. Fairly uneventful. GMF has lost 60% of her hearing (she finally went to a doctor). So, we went to a noisy restaurant Sat. night (Mom promised to behave, so I let her come along). Mom & TS chatted the whole time and GMF rambled at me. On Sunday, I went over to GMF's and asked to see all the legal papers that her lawyer did for her when mom first got sick (we just realized that no one had copies of any of it). So, after 30 minutes of her telling me every single transgression and evil, nasty thing that my mother has said to her in the last year, she let me look over the papers. It all seemed in order, but I called her attorney on Monday and was rather stern with him about not sending copies of the papers to people who should have them (i.e., her power of attorney). So, for now, that is all taken care of. It dawned on me that I have to change my definition of "fine" when it comes to mom. She is very sick and knows it. When people ask how she is, I usually say "fine", but somewhere in the back of my head, I have been finishing the sentence otherwise. Yet, given the situation, she is fine. She is dressing to the nines, doing business on the phone (and sometimes in person) shopping, driving, taking herself to doctor appointments and having visitors. Yes, she gets very, very tired, On Monday, we had her friends over for dinner. She made one of her favorite meals which she makes once a year. TS helped her in the kitchen & I did all the dishes. She wanted to help, so I left the clean dishes out for her to put away. On Monday, we took the cat to the vet. The poor thing is so stressed that she has overgroomed all the hair off of her back legs and half of her belly. Mom insists it's an allergy. "What does she have to be stressed about"? Um..... nah. But, she did ask the vet (who gently suggested that it is stress) if animals can tell when their people are sick. The vet said "absolutely". I'd gotten up, puttered around, threw on some wrinkled clothes and brushed my teeth. Didn't bother combing my hair, because it's only the vet. I catch the cat & we get into the car. Here comes Cancer Girl. Red cap, red cashmere sweater, black wool pants, gold jewelry, black leather trench coat, boots and full make-up. Need I tell you which one of us looked better? Hell, even the half-bald cat looked better than me. Before we left, TS made mom a big batch of chopped liver and some guacamole. Mom said "if I eat this all, I'll get sick. But I love chopped liver". Her solution to the dilemna? She called the doctor to see if she could take Immodium prophylacticly (is that a word?) and eat the entire container. When I spoke with her last night, she had finished the chopped liver, almost all the guacamole and was having apple pie and cheddar cheese for dinner. Yes, she is doing fine. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2482 Registered: 9-2003 |
Curt takes Immodium Extreme every day, so I don't think it offers problem. Never hear of taking it preventatively (which is the word I can spell!) like Nexium or something. Glad you had what sounds like a good trip, and that your ma is having some fun. Maybe the kitty needs to wear chaps? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6921 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yeah - she's having fun. She also bought herself lots of oil and acrylic paints so that she can start painting again. I hope she really does it. She showed me a portrait of my dad that she had started when they were first married. She found it in her old art kit. It looks like him. But, we couldn't find the naked lady. When my parents got divorced, my mom started painting again (she's quite good) on the weekends we were at my dad's. She wanted to do nudes. So, she'd lower all the blinds, set up her stuff in the kitchen, take off all her clothes and run back and forth to the full length mirror in the foyer. She was checking proportions and lighting. Hey - don't ask me. Anyway, the naked lady had no hands, feet or head. Just torso and limbs. It sat on an easel in the kitchen when she wasn't working on it. I didn't think anything about it, but my younger, pubescent brother (Poptart Guy) was mortified. His friends like to come over and look at it because it was their first hint of boobs. The naked lady is nowhere to be found. We suspect that Poptart Guy threw it out. He's such a prude. The kitty does have an anxiolytic, but my mom is terrible at giving meds to animals. So, I ordered a feline aromatherapy kit. I'd gotten one last summer, but no one knew what it was, so they threw it out. I ordered two this time (one for each floor) and told her not to pitch it. Hopefully, it will help. At $25 a pop with $12 refill cartridges, it had better. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6948 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cat scan today. It will be a looong week. Baby Bro will be there on Friday for the results. Mom is getting more tired. I was up at 3a on Saturday, worrying about her planned trip to Chicago next week. She's planning on flying into O'Hare to see the grandkids.... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2496 Registered: 9-2003 |
No results till later in the week? I HATE WAITING!!! I guess you do, too... Good luck with staying busy etc. I forget -- does one of your siblings live in spitting distance of your Mom? Baby Bro? | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3240 Registered: 5-2001 |
I can't decide if I should post this here or in my blog, but since this one gets more traffic, I'll go with it. (GT or Cyn or others ... let me know if I should go back to mine.) We're not dealing with any cancer (as far as I know) or other specific illnesses, but definitely wrestling with issues associated with aging parents. I spent four days in Texas with my parents this past week and those days were actually pretty successful on two fronts. I got them to their attorney's office to straighten out some serious issues with their wills and I got them to at least consider a move to assisted living. I/we visited several places and narrowed down the choices to two. At least up to that point, I was extremely happy with what we were able to accomplish in my very brief visit. Now I'm making followup calls, etc. to try to get to the next steps. But, the biggie is for them to actually agree to make this move. There has been a suggestion (from one of the managers of one of the facilities) to "try it out" for three months and I'm cautiously optimistic that this might work. Just wondering what others have said or done with their parents in similar situations to convince them. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6966 Registered: 5-2001 |
Sac- you are certainly welcome here. I wish I had some good advice for you. My 89 y/o grandmother (aka GMF) lives alone in an apartment. She's terrified of my mom being gone and no one being there, yet she won't go to assisted living. She may change her mind when my mom is gone. How independent are your parents? With my grandmother, it's issues like eating at a table with strangers (she won't do it) and taking a shower (she wants baths). I think that she likes the idea of someone to "take care" of her, yet she is fiercely independent. My neighbor, OTOH, had to put her 90 y/o mom in temporary assisted living after a hospital stay. The mom was really pissed off, but couldn't be left alone during the day. But, when she was well enough to go home, she wouldn't leave. She loved the companionship and the activities. She's still there and it's a win-win for the family. What are your parents concerns about trying it out? Independence? Leaving the familiar? If you can zero in on that, it may make it easier to help them do the best thing. Cyn - no one is there. Baby Bro is here & Poptart & Normal are in Chicago. I talked to mom this morning about 10ish. She was driving home from her CAT and telling me how she could barely keep her eyes open & needed to get some coffee. Very alarmed, I said, "are you falling asleep at the wheel? Where are you right now"? "At Starbucks. I'm fine". In the back of my head, I'm thinking "this is not good that just driving to the hospital and getting a test makes her this fatigued". Wait a minute. Mom, did you get up at 6am this morning to go for your test? Uh-huh. Did you stay up late last night and take an Ambien? Uh-huh. What time? Around 1a. I'm telling ya, this woman is gonna be the death of me..... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2504 Registered: 9-2003 |
Darn, sac. I wrote a long post here at work and then lost it due to press of business. I went through this, with a happy outcome. I would say that if they give the option of try before you buy, take it. I would say arrange for them to spend part of a day at the 2 places so they can check out food, the people, etc. Kind of like college visits. If they're coming from a house, get 'em the biggest place they can afford. The place should be able to tell them if there are others from their town/community/age range to meet with. Certainly trying it for a period of time before selling the house is a good thing, if do-able. Depending upon their interests, hobbies, church and stuff, make certain what the facility has that relates. My parents cared a lot about their apartment, and the food quality. They had a one bedroom, and sometimes opted to eat in the apt, sometimes in the dining room. They could choose on a daily basis. Also, they opted to pay a little to have their laundry done. Sheets changing came with, and they were able to bring some furniture and so on. My dad made use of their weekly trips to the mall and drugstore and so on. They did have a tiny kitchen and could nuke food, make sandwiches. In terms of adjustment, I think a lot depends on how able they are, and what they want/need. My parents were kinda willing, especially when we pitched at as making my sister's and my life easier. It was close enough for us to come once a week. My dad made some friends there, and the social angle was helpful to him. Really, a few visits to check things out, experience life there really nelped a lot (along with being able to bring some of their own stuff). It's really a lot like finding the right college in many ways, and honesty about what matters. Some places have pools, nightly cocktails and so on. My parents' needed an attached nursing home so that as the need arose, either could transition into that for a period of time yet still be visited by the other. I'm open for questions! | ||
| kmk Supporter Username: Kmk Post Number: 1091 Registered: 5-2001  |
sac - A friend of mine (from SO) just convinced her Dallas parents to move to an assisted living facility. They fought it kicking and screaming...refused to sell their Dallas house and Cadillac. They moved in on a "I am certain I will hate this" note. Fast forward a mere 2 months..they LOVE it . They had no idea that these places have happy hour and shuttles to the mall etc. The wife has just announced that she is going to retire from housekeeping and she orders dinners of filet mignon for the two of them sent up to their "suite." They finally sold the house and car and everyone is happy, happy, happy. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2506 Registered: 9-2003 |
What I want to know is this: Why are WE not living in these places? I'd love to have someone do all the cleaning, drive me around, feed me steaks and have drinks! | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3247 Registered: 5-2001 |
Because WE can't afford it. Fortunately, my parents are depression kids who never spent their money. The challenge is to get them to part with some of it now. But the bigger challenge is overcoming their fear of loss of independence. I do believe (and hope fervently) that they will be like others mentioned here who find that they love it once they are there ... and actually regain some independence as a result. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2510 Registered: 9-2003 |
Have they any friends in either of the two places? Through church or similar? Maybe such connections would help. A lot of these places allow cars, if they're still driving. It's a shame, but too often I think "assisted living" = "nursing home" in people's minds. Actually, many of them are really quite cool for active older people who just don't want to be bothered by some aspects of independent living, and want care ready to hand. My dad was a Depression guy, too. Didn't have tons of money, but yes did need to digest on the decision. For him, selling the house and renting was a biggie. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3251 Registered: 5-2001 |
No friends in the two places, or others similar in the area, unfortunately. My mother's sister and her husband are here and live in Winchester Gardens and my mother would move there in a heartbeat if it were just her, but my father hates the northeast, so that is a non-starter as long as he is living. (And so long as they are both living, moving would shoot holes in their estate planning because Texas is a community property state and New Jersey is not and ... well, we don't even want to go there, trust me!) Yes, the places allow cars and my father still drives and will bring his, although I'm kinda hoping he will give that up before too long. I think that they already see that it really isn't like a nursing home. They have visited both places and met some people there, etc. That's one reason why we are going with the "try it out" approach and planning to worry about the house later. I'm coming up with a timetable that relates to some fairly narrow windows when it is more convenient for me to come down to help them to hopefully get them to move on this. I actually have a whole week between my last class and final exam this semester and it falls in a quiet week at work, so I'm lobbying for that. It's at the end of April, so it's a fairly aggressive schedule. We'll see if that works. (Of course that means that I'll probably be studying for my final during every free minute, but if that's what it takes ...) | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6982 Registered: 5-2001 |
I feel like I'm having a falling dream, but I'm not waking up. I notice Mom getting more and more tired when I talk to her. I just keep falling, waiting to wake up before I hit the ground. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2521 Registered: 9-2003 |
Oh, poop. I hope the trip to Chicago goes well, and Friday's news is acceptable. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6998 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yeah - I raised the issue of ordering a cart or wheelchair to meet her at the gate at O'Hare. I expected a fuss, but she didn't really say no. I told my brother to order one; she can always cancel it. I think that she's pushing herself to go to spend the time with the kids. Which is a very good thing. We were talking the other day and I said something about getting old. "I'm not going to get old" said with an ironic chuckle. Cyn- thanks for posting. Not just because it's good to hear something, but because I need to hit my 7000th post so that I can answer Reingold's question about male genitalia. Where else but on MOL..... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2522 Registered: 9-2003 |
I'm on a conference call with IT and business people in Korea! Eating my dinner at the computer at home, and listening to their inmost plans for their Life Insurance web site (most of which I cannot read).... Anything for you, babe.. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7033 Registered: 5-2001 |
I had a very flattering e-mail this morning. It was from a competitor, asking me to interview for a position for which I did not apply. However, it's with the oncology division. Methinks that I am nowhere near ready for that. But, ego strokes are always nice. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2245 Registered: 5-2001 |
Wow - what a double edged sword. But definitely a warm fuzzy. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7034 Registered: 5-2001 |
Hey Debby, I was thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you are doing. Mom gets her test results tomorrow. I think that I feel "at peace" but I know that this could change after her appointment. | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 1273 Registered: 3-2002 |
thinking good thoughts for you & your mom - for whatever the test results say tomorrow | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 22847 Registered: 6-2001  |
Always thinking good thoughts about Greenetree and GreeneMom. Greene moms are the best moms, for sure! |
