| Author | Message | ||
     kmk Supporter Username: Kmk Post Number: 1155 Registered: 5-2001  |
Reminds me of a joke.. "You know why martinis are like women's breasts? - - - - - - - Because one is too few and three are too many!" I am built exactly like the ballerina. My 12 year old and I wear the same size "teen" bras from target....geesh! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1533 Registered: 10-2003 |
Soda's intent was to tell las that the wrong guy was smelling her sweat and the right guy is there somewhere. - multiple cats - fledgling agoraphobe - must knit or drink at all times - sweats in her sleep Okay Mr. Right, come and get me!  | ||
| kevin Supporter Username: Kevin Post Number: 675 Registered: 2-2002 |
I don't know what I stumbled into here...but Las - some are allergic to cat dander, maybe you were allergic to, him. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1534 Registered: 10-2003 |
Hi, Kevin. Do you know any straight, single men who might marry me so that I can remain in graduate school and get my degree? He must be a cat person (not a gay cat person (I've already played that game)) and a non-smoker. Thanks. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 82 Registered: 3-2006  |
Las, Maybe we should refine your search to a straight, single, small animal VETERINARIAN. See, that way, you are pretty sure he will come with his own lint roller,antihistamines,and cat tolerance.  Without checking his W2s, you can judge how profitable the practice and whether or not he'd be able to support your education. Sneaky, huh? (some would say, just like a cat, but we know cats are not sneaky, just circumspect) Calli | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1535 Registered: 10-2003 |
That's not a bad idea at all, Calli. Do you think I should keep bringing the cats in to various practices around the state until I find the right one? Or should I have a consult with our vet (Levine) to find out who he knows? How does one go about nabbing a straight, single vet of small animals? | ||
| Soda Supporter Username: Soda Post Number: 3724 Registered: 5-2001  |
I went to high school with Dr. Glauberg, so maybe I'll ask him if he knows any local, single, macho, cat-lovin' vets... Oh, and he can vouch for the ballerina story, too ... -s. | ||
| kevin Supporter Username: Kevin Post Number: 677 Registered: 2-2002 |
I'll have to thumb through my rolodex for you, Las... How about finding a new job where the company will pay for you to finish your degree? You might be indebted to the company for a year or more after you graduate, but a number of companies offer full or partial reimbursement. It sounds like a better deal than being indebted to a new husband who you might or might not like. It will give you more time to focus on finding the right guy without rushing in to any guy. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1536 Registered: 10-2003 |
That would be kind, Soda. Thank you. Please let your vet person know I'd be willing to seek counseling for the reptile phobia issue. Somewhere in this blog, Kevin, there are details about the school thing. In short, there is money for school, even money to support me during my fieldwork, but I can't afford to quit my current job (as once I graduate I'll be earning significantly less in my new career and there's no guarantee my current job will be waiting for me when I'm done with fieldwork should I choose to return). Thumbing through your Rolodex is pretty much the only chance I have of getting my Master's. Thanks. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 83 Registered: 3-2006 |
Las, Maybe we need to network on the straight, single vet idea. How 'bout we divvy up the tri-county area and send out "plants" on the pretense that we are interviewing new vets?} We will then report back to you on--ahem---bedside manner. Or, instead of Petfinder.org, we can start VETfinder.org.} Hmmm (scratching my chin contemplatively)I may be on to something here... Calli | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1538 Registered: 10-2003 |
vetfinder.org. Once again Calli, you have outdone yourself. Brilliant! Had an email exchange with my attorney today about getting an extension on the done-by date for my student teaching. Legally him has no reason to agree to amending the settlement agreement; the only way to amend same would be "out of the goodness of his heart." As if. Things are evolving and things are changing and nothing is static in this new life of mine. I hate school more than anything but I am not ready to give it up. I am not prepared to have worked five years towards my Master's degree then not obtain it with just one semester to go. | ||
| Scully Citizen Username: Scully Post Number: 313 Registered: 8-2005 |
So you ARE finishing the semester? And getting your Master's? Sorry to butt in but a friend dropped out of Rutger's years ago just a semester shy of her RN. She never went back and works today as an LPN. I think she regrets not finishing but has never felt she had the time to go back. Kept putting it off til she's now closer to retirement than school. Life sometimes gets busy like that. When will this last semester be over? June? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1540 Registered: 10-2003 |
Good morning, Scully. I will be like your friend: one semester shy of a degree. I will finish my coursework in May, with 42 credits under my belt. I won't be getting my Master's, however, because I will not be able to complete my fieldwork (remaining 14 credits). My original graduation date was supposed to be next month. Him promised me a party cruise around Manhattan to celebrate my graduation. Good thing I didn't book it in advance. I am working on altervatives (besides the getting married scheme) because I am not about to waste those 42 credits and I am not about to live my life saying I almost got my Master's. I went through hell to get them even before I prostituted myself in court, they have to be good for something. I cry about school. Not him, not what he did, not what he stole, but I cry about having been fortunate to have realized a dream I likely won't reach. -----Original Message----- From: lynn Sent: Tuesday, July 27, 2004 12:47 PM To: Sam Subject: school I'm thinking: 6 credits spring 05 5 credits fall 05 student teach spring 06 graduate spring 06. that's just two years away. do you think we will be ready by then? I have to make up my mind asap if I'm going to do it that way. Do you think we would be ready in less than a year? (you know by 'ready' I mean will we be financially ready for me to live off you) Sam: Yes - I say go for it - we will be ready and the world deserves your skills. L: you really think we could be ready for it? I don't want it to be about how much you earn, but it is. It's scary. Change is scary. I think I should quit. S: Yes we will be ready. Whatever you decide, I support you. -------------------------- I'm working on a Plan B. I do know things evolve. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 89 Registered: 3-2006 |
las, This is SO important. This is important for you, and all the lives you touch. This is simply a challenge to your creativity,and as anyone who has read your blog knows, you have creativity in spades!(that is not a pejorative, nor a gardening reference) I know, it would be lovely to have a patron---artists used to do it ---still do, in some circles,but now is the time to do some critical thinking as to how to achieve your goal without living under an overpass on Route 22. There are grants to be had, and creative finacing options to explore. Use this forum to brainstorm---and let that only be the beginning. Do Not Relinquish YOUR DREAM It is yours alone,you deserve it and you will have it! Calli | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 1708 Registered: 11-2001 |
Calli brought up an excellent point. What about a grant? People seem to be running away from the public sector these days; you are not one of those people. There is a real need for people who do what you do (or what you WILL do after you complete fieldwork, etc.). Applying for a grant is one way to help you achieve your dream. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1543 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thanks, Ladies. People have been advising me of grants for a year. It really stresses me out. Right now I have job and salary security. I am afraid to risk it. The one thing I know is that I will not be taking classes in September. I am thinking of it in terms of a semester off. I need a break. I woke up twice last night in sweats. I'll try quiting that medication again once the semester ends and I'm not so uptight. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1545 Registered: 10-2003 |
I don't know what possessed me to stop taking a medication that reduces anxiety night sweats while struggling with two term papers and a presentation. For the past three nights I've barely slept and each night I'd lie there in bed awake and feeling anxious but not quite sure if I had anxiety or if I was just anxious about not taking the drug. And I'd fall asleep and wake up for a while and lie in bed and think about it all over again. And all the while I've been consumed by one paper, the thesis of which is a million miles away and although I've narrowed my topic down quite a bit and been able to focus with more clarity, the more reading I do and the more I connect the more I fixate on the topic. For background I've been reading Kincheloe and Gee and Pillow and Bourdieu and contemplating discourse and literacy and the relevance to certain policies but the problem is that research is like thinking in that one thing leads to another and before I know it my brain's on a tangent and if I'm trying to sleep then that's far away and if I'm at work I am useless. The problem I have with being in school is that it's always on my mind, so even when I'm not doing homework I'm thinking about it nonetheless. So here I am metacognitively obsessing about my little white pill and my papers and it's Passover and I had to go sit through a seder. For six hours. At my former back door neighbor's house. And everything would have been fine except there were seven thousand people there and it was so hot and I had some wine and if I didn't get air I would scream. So I snuck outside with my albatross thesis and had no choice but to look at my house because it's right there in the yard and I couldn't say for sure what was going on in that house but stuff was going on. I swallowed my tears and breathed long and deep and remembered the seder last year. Being clueless and blind and obscure I didn't see the clue him was leaving when instead of our usual plans with our neighbors - our family - he bought a ticket just for him to visit his sister in LA. With whom he had not spoken in nine years. He was going to make peace and told me our agreement was we would spend holidays with our neighbors unless something better came along. It didn't really matter because he was gone by Passover. And when I saw him in July he told me he left because I wouldn't go to LA with him for Passover and that I never wanted his sister to be a part of his life. Of course none of that is true because during our marriage I didn't have the capacity to want anything other than what he wanted. So my albatross thesis and I endured the rest of the seder and when I finally got home I took my tiny white pill so when I do head up to bed my brain won't be charged and I'll get much needed sleep. And I will sleep tonight beause without that silly little pill my body has been on high alert for three days. It's time to sleep. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2922 Registered: 9-2002  |
I went to school at night for 5 years (summers too) and for at least 2 years after that every time I was trying to relax I would have a nagging feeling that I should be working on something for school. And the "I can't find my classroom" or "running naked through the school" dreams stay with me to this day. Does sound like you need a break. Once you can catch your breath try to think "outside the box" as us corporate drones like to say. You might surprise yourself and find a creative way to find a way to support yourself, finish your credits, and use your skills and degree they way you want to. At least until you find your sugar daddy. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 97 Registered: 3-2006 |
las, Wendy is very wise. We put so much pressure on ourselves, much more than any external forces could exert. I understand your need to step back and take a breath. I wish I had had the foresight to do that when I was on my own post-graduate roller coaster (PL me if you want the sorid,boring details)Just never lose sight of your dream. I was worried when you said you would be like Scully's friend---one semester shy of a degree. What worries me, is that Scully's friend never went back, and I am not sure how far you were extending the analogy. I know you have a deep appreciation of how truly blessed you are, and this set back, is merely that , a setback. It is not the end of the dream. I know I sound like a "Rah-Rah" (what did you call us? "friggin' cheerleaders"?) But you need to know the power of your words and how they have the ability to move strangers. I want you to "move on" in your own time and your own way, knowing that you have unconditional support. OK, I'll put away my pom-poms now.  Calli | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6033 Registered: 5-2001  |
I started my grad degree at night when I was 30 and didn't lift my head up until I was 36. When I emerged I discovered I had been in a bad relationship for years and that everyone else was getting married. But I have my degree, which unlike other people, will never leave me. Hang in there Las, you will do this. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1546 Registered: 10-2003 |
I'm not giving up on school. This whole situation sucks and it adds exponentially to the list of reasons why my beloved is a narcissistic fcuk, but something I know that I didn't know a year ago, or five years ago when I started this thing, is that this degree has to have relevancy to my life, it has to be able to support me financially since there won't be a loving husband around. The dream evolves over time; the degree has to as well. I like my tiny white pill. It seems to have dulled the sensitivity of my nerve endings enabling me to put my head on my pillow without a charged brain and I woke a few times (which I do almost hourly since him left) but fell right back asleep and didn't sweat once. When this gruesome semester ends I am going to marry my cat. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6036 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, Which cat? Won't the others be jealous? | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1494 Registered: 10-2002  |
When I was about 4 years old, my brother and I brought our cat, Butterscotch, over to the neighbor's house and held a marriage ceremony between him and the neighbor's female cat. I think we even put a veil on her head. Poor things... Las - if you need someone who knows how to perform cat wedding ceremonies, let me know, I'm sure the human - cat ceremony would be similar to cat - cat cermonies. The marriage itself, however, might be a bit different. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1548 Registered: 10-2003 |
My Ernie. I am going to marry my Ernie. He is so respectful of me: he gets up when I enter the room, he escorts me when I head to another room. Ernie's not a snuggler, but he always has to be touching me (his dad used to be that way, too), he always wants me to know he is right by my side and he sleeps at the foot of my bed to protect me each night. All he asks in return is that I never allow the bottom of his food dish to show. The others won't be jealous; they've never really included him. My loyal Ernie. What more could I want? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1549 Registered: 10-2003 |
There is, however, a bigger problem, sayeth my advisor. State certification requirements changed a couple of years ago but that wasn't a concern for me as I was grandfathered in and I had everything planned out. (Except for the part where I had to finish by September 2006, because who plans on their husband running away from home on their birthday?) Some of your courses will count in the dual certification program, but there are many courses in the program that you do not have. This will work out because things always work out even when they don't work out the way I want. And this venemous, putrid hatred I have inside towards my beloved keeps simmering and festering and I direct every piece of negativity towards him because Judy says the universe is huge and there is a lot of power in it and I am using all of my hatred to direct the evils towards him. And I have a lot of hatred inside so that's a lot of evil being directed towards one person. How could I not have known this man I craved for all those years was so utterly callous and mean? He said nice things, but that was just a facade. You can't be this mean about someone's education and still have goodness inside of you. This is why I am going to marry my cat. All my Ernie wants to do is give. He is so loyal. | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 929 Registered: 10-2003 |
las- i pl'd you.................. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1597 Registered: 10-2003 |
Every night him haunts my dreams and invades my private thoughts and I hate that because it's the one time each day when I don't have to choose not to remember or wish to forget and try to move on with my life. It's a time when my brain should be pleasantly cleansing and dreaming of dreams for the future but this moment is stuck and it replays every night which makes me so mad for the dream when it's over plays again in my head non-stop for the day ahead. Him says when I sleep: I told him to leave. The setting is different yet always the same as dreams are wont to be but one thing that's the same about where it takes place is it's always a place from our past. Meanwhile this dream that takes place in the past and the present all at once has a similar dialogue every night and it makes me so angry I clench my teeth and tighten my fists and frustrate when I recall it because in the dream him says this is my doing. And that's just like it was back then: he wouldn't hear logic or hear me at all and now I am stuck with his stuckness. These are my dreams how dare he intrude! Why couldn't I dream of lust and of passion and places I'll go and degrees I will earn and men I might love someday? It's only a dream and I'd like to move past it but here it comes again every night. And the irony is I wake up at least hourly yet in those precious moments of sleep him is there causing chaos in my mind because it's not enough he causes chaos in my mind when I am awake. So we are off to bed because we obviously still sleep together. Nasty. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1627 Registered: 10-2003 |
The NJ Department of Education has me down as being grandfathered into the MAT-ToH (Master of Arts in Teaching, Teacher of the Handicapped) program until 2008, which gives me some time to figure things out. That's great news. I had been told my program was grandfathered until 2006, but now I've got two additional years. I just emailed my advisor a Leave of Absence Form. I requested one year. I am writing here now to distract myself and keep from crying at work. I hate school, I hate it more than anything. It wears me down and costs me sleep and runs me ragged and taxes my brain and makes me short and snippy with the people I know because I get so stressed out. I love school. With school I have direction and plans and homework to keep my brain from atrophying and I've never done anything worthwhile in my life but I go to graduate school and that makes me feel okay about evyerthing else I fcuk up. Since my beloved ran away from home I have taken leave from my arts and crafts program at the Arc, I have taken leave from my babies and now I am taking leave from school. I am an almost person. A nearly done it. One of those this close people. What am I okay at? I am a perfect specimen of mediocrity. Superlative example of standard. I don't cry over him but I cry over school. School is huge for me. School helped me to figure out where I want to go and what I want to do. I just hate it when people say I am brave because I most certainly am not. I am weak, that's why I am taking leave. I am afraid to quit the comfort of my salary and benefits, that's why I am not yet going to do my fieldwork. The one thing I know for sure is that every decision I ever made was a lousy one. I know this one will come back to me somehow. | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1545 Registered: 10-2002 |
las - You are not weak, you're being practical and realistic. You didn't END your dream, you're just allowing yourself to take a step back from it to figure out the best way to proceed. You may see a direction that you never thought of before and it will be because you took the time to figure it out. Maybe if you didn't take this break, you'd never see the path that will be the best for you. Sometimes by taking a step back, we actually move forward. It is not possible for EVERY decision to be lousy - we just tend to remember the bad ones more than the good ones....and... It is WAY too early in your life for you to even know which decisions were lousy and which ones weren't. You've got to be at least 70 years old to be able to do that. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7307 Registered: 5-2001  |
When my mom first got sick, I dropped all my outside activities; I pretty much dropped work, too, since I did the absolute minimum to keep my job. I had to work but dropping all else was practical. I was always running off to OH with no notice. Then, things stabilized with her and I didn't resume activities because I was so emotionally spent and worn out. Then, doing nothing got to be a habit. I started forcing myself to engage and make plans for the future. Now that has become a habit. I still live in Cancer Land, but take regular and frequent vacations. You may not be able to do school right now, but you might want to ask yourself what is keeping you from your other activities. If you wait until you "feel like it" it will never happen. The difference between a good decision and bad decision can sometimes be what you learn from it and adjust accordingly. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2638 Registered: 9-2003  |
las, I am sorry you had such a miserable headache this morning, and I'm sorry you're struggling so with your education. The folks who are saying that sometimes you have to step back to step forward are right. And sometimes you just need a big fat break, a hiatus, a gap even when it you think it's the last thing you need. You're far from mediocre, far, far from that. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1628 Registered: 10-2003 |
I had a really tough day. Woke up with a migraine at 5 am. I gave myself an injection while parked in the commuter lot which helped with the nausea and I only went to work because something important was happening and either everyone decided I was vital enough to give me critical work or everything seems huge when you're fighting a migraine. And I needed a second injection but I'm all out with no more refills and my psychiatrist gave me a scrip a couple of months ago but I couldn't find it and I had to work through lunch then I had to stay late but at some point I took my sunglasses off and I somehow made it through the day without throwing up. And then I headed uptown to see my psychiatrist who I have been seeing since I had a maiden name but was too embarrassed to tell him I lost the migraine prescription and I told him about my realization that except for this migraine I don't get sick any more so I experimented cutting out the night sweat medication without considering it was term paper season and he asked, 'What were you thinking?' I wasn't, I replied. You sleep better than you have for years. And you don't have as much anxiety since you became single. Widowed, I corrected. Widowed. What was about your marriage that was making you sick? I need a new prescription for Imitrex injections. I just can't talk about it. I'm not ready to contemplate I might have wanted to be married to a man who was no good for me. I will not go there. But my doctor went there because he likes to hurt my feelings and he likes to make me cry and he surmised because I'm a nurturer and him was so sick I had a need to nurture him and now that I'm not living with his rigidity and structure I'm able to experience new things and do for me and that's why I am now worthy of things and feeling okay these days because it's what I've been wanting all along. No. I'm not buying this. I will not dissect my marriage because as long as I live he will have been the love of my life, the man I knew I would marry on our first date. I just can't imagine I was wrong about that. As for school and my break, the thing I have now that I didn't have then is the ability to live moment to moment. It is just me. I make decisions for me. And I only want to have fun. I don't want to date, I don't want to plan, I just want to laugh and flirt and laugh some more. And drink. Facilitating my arts and crafts program cost me lots of money each week and drained me. Loving my babies, as much as they need me, takes time from loving my cats, and the cats are my responsibility, my family, and they need to be nurtured and loved. I am not so far past last year that I'm not aware I am overly attached to them, but they are mine and by loving them they snuggle with me and purr with me and sleep with me and make me feel less alone. The school thing sucks. That's all there is to it. But I'll soon turn in papers and in a couple of weeks I will be able to sit in my chair by the window and read or knit with my new Bose cd player and a cat or two on my lap, and that's not something I could do during the semester. And I will continue to fantasize he returns my money. Because I really am a better person when I am in school. | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5363 Registered: 2-2003  |
las, the grass is always greener.....don't get me wrong, I love my kids and my hubby, but to do things for me, make a decision, for me, just have fun for me..... | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1630 Registered: 10-2003 |
I do understand, Red. Hey, want to go running on Saturday? | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5366 Registered: 2-2003 |
Hmmmm.......Sounds like a great need for me, but I have a parade, t-ball AND a manicure party. Sunday? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1632 Registered: 10-2003 |
I can't Sunday - I'm supposed to have a consult with my decorator. He's got a lot of swatches to show and said it might take a while. Try again next week? | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5367 Registered: 2-2003 |
Absolutely. Those decorators, it is nice when they are so....thorough. (sp?) | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1653 Registered: 10-2003 |
My, it has been a loooooong six months: September 9, 2005 Dear Samuel, I am sure you are aware today is our tenth wedding anniversary. Considering all you have done in recent months to get away from me, I would think you regret we have made it to this day as husband and wife. On this anniversary of ours, this day of reflection, I am taking the opportunity to tell you a few things about myself. To start, I will tell you something I know. I know you are fully aware that you left me on my birthday, and that you are also aware it is in no way my fault. I know you spin it to protect yourself from your actions by convincing yourself I told you not to come home, but we both know all I ever wanted was to be married to you and for you to be at peace. Your choice not to come home was yours and yours alone. Do not blame me for your unilateral decision. Another thing I know is that I'm left with nothing. Your leaving destroyed me. You broke me down and wore me out and left me with only pain and loneliness and more self-doubt than I'd ever imagined I could feel. And all that hurt was confounded when you withdrew your promises that I could stay in our home and you'd support me through school. I can't imagine what I could have possibly done to make you hate me so much, but it must have been pretty awful for you to believe I am not worthy of my education or my home - the home which you well know was the one place in the world that was my safe place to be. Yet of all your numerous betrayals the worst hurt is that you have moved to South Orange. All the times you wanted to move, that we packed up our belongings to move, that I said I would transplant my life for you, you still haven't gone to LA. Samuel, you really are stuck. It has nothing at all to do with me and everything to do with you. Someday you will realize what you have done and the pain will be greater than anything you'd ever imagined – even greater than the pain that forced you to leave. In the meantime, as my train pulls in to South Orange twice daily, I must fight the panic I experience for fear you might pass on the train. And when I go to town or drive around I am afraid you will be where I am, so I've retrieved my old baseball cap to protect myself and shield my eyes from seeing you. You ran away from home, but you didn't go anywhere. And now I live with my eyes cast downward afraid of seeing your face should I look up. I started school this week. I'm quite nervous as to whether I'll be able to make it through this term for I'm still having trouble focusing and haven't been able to read since March. This was supposed to have been my last semester before student teaching – remember those dreams I had? How proud you were of me? Yet, for all my hard work and all I strived for, this is no longer a dream merely an obstacle en route to my divorce. But not to worry, for your insistence you pay for no more than fifty percent of a pre-estimate of my projected education fees means you'll be in the clear financially should I have to withdraw from yet a second term. It will be my financial burden, not yours. You got precisely what you wanted, you left me. You hurt me more than anyone has the right to hurt another. You never considered what I would need and now as I spin in your wake I still have to figure out where I am supposed to fit in in this world. So tonight, as I do every Friday night, I will go to schul and say kaddish for my marriage and the husband I had and loved and lost. Happy anniversary my beloved. I hope the coming year brings you all you deserve. Your wife, Lynn Simmons I no longer wear my baseball cap unless it's to block the sun. I made it through that semester and I am one week from making it through another semester. I also know I wasn't left with nothing. He took my money and my home, but I've got really great friends and know some really nice people. And I have five year old neighbors who sell me mud (really it's just dirt, but they call it mud). And of course, three shedding, furballing, pooping cats who I couldn't live without. I have no idea where he is, but I still panic when I occasion into South Orange or I take a different train. I do still wish him ill. I still wish him all the horrors and evils he so deserves, and even though he comes to my thoughts a thousand times a day, I don't obsess and I can distract myself. I fantasize about the future, not the past. Nothing like working on a term paper to get you to clean some hard-drive-house. | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5404 Registered: 2-2003 |
But las, how was the redecorating of the apartment today? Did you get some good swatches? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1654 Registered: 10-2003 |
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