| Author | Message | ||
     Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 673 Registered: 5-2005  |
And?? Sh.t las, there is nothing impossible in this life - well, maybe a few things such as me being a supermodel billionaire weighing 70lbs and eating up a storm without gaining a thousand pounds, BUT, apart from that..... There are things that can be done to deal with his allergies, and just be glad the allergies are to the cats and not you, and why not get the word "love" out of your vocabulary right now, as it doesn't seem to agree with you at this moment. Why not say that however and wherever, you enjoy spending time with this man, he envokes feeling and emotions in you that confirm that you are not 6 feet under and he is someone that you like knowing, he is someone for whom you keep your door open... bets says that at the end of the day friendship is priceless - good comment..... right now just think of your accountant as a friend in more ways than one.... | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23209 Registered: 6-2001  |
Friends w/privileges, perhaps.  | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 674 Registered: 5-2005 |
Inside information even...  | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23210 Registered: 6-2001 |
Intimate knowledge.  | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 676 Registered: 5-2005 |
Knows the inner workings  | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23211 Registered: 6-2001 |
Gets her knickers in a twist | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 2129 Registered: 11-2001  |
Talk about insider trading!  | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5624 Registered: 2-2003  |
Okay, I have to second what ME wrote las. You are truely such a free spirit and a brilliant woman, always ready to give and never ask for anything in return. You are coming into your own. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23214 Registered: 6-2001 |
You were very missed tonight! Hope all is well and that you'll have some time to give me a ringy-dingy over the weekend. Love you  ! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1814 Registered: 10-2003 |
Al's my favorite Nancyboy! He had a G R E A T week!!!!  | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 2137 Registered: 11-2001 |
Yeah, Al! Way to go, Don!! Well done. We knew he could do it!! There is hope for your chair. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 3345 Registered: 9-2003 |
Las - the artist's tour is this Sunday in South Orange/Maplewood. If you go no where else you MUST stop into Classic Design Framing and take a look at Amy Charmatz's folk art - you will love these pieces... humor, style, witty musings and cats! A couple made me laugh out loud... and that's pretty hard for me to do these days. Go.. enjoy! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1847 Registered: 10-2003 |
---------------------------------------- From: anne Sent: Monday, June 12, 2006 4:35 PM To: lynn Subject: A: Did you hear about Adam? L: No - tell me, everything okay? A: I'm sorry to tell you via email but he passed away on 5-23... ---------------------------------------- And that's how I found out my dear friend died. The friend I've had for longer than anyone, the friend with whom I promised we'd always be friends. My friend Adam died and I was no where to be found because since my husband left me he drove me so nuts and I couldn't stand him for more than a second or two but he always said he loved me and we'd speak again soon. And he never held it against me that I couldn't stand to talk and understood what I was going through for he went through it too. My friend died and I hadn't been a very good friend to him. Not a good friend at all. Our fathers grew up together and we grew up together and 'tho while growing up he was so much older than me when my age caught up and his seemed to regress we made a connection that linked us so tight (or so I'd now like to think) and over the years I befriended his wife and he befriended my husband and what could be better than that? I'm sorry, my friend, for letting you down. Your wife left you and my husband left me and our timing was off and it was so hard to reach out and right before my eyes you slipped away. I don't know what killed you, what sent you so far, but whatever it was and wherever you go I hope you find peace and I hope you find love and I hope you connect with your mom who you miss (and please, give a hug to mine, too) and I will stay here remembering you and building you up as the man that you are to the son who'll grow up without you and I will also stay friends with your wife of the past so that she and I can talk and laugh about a time or thing you once said hence your son will know who you were. My heart is ripping down the center of my chest and it's tearing my ribcage apart. I'm sorry I left you when he left me, I should have been a better friend. | ||
| Calliope Citizen Username: Calliope Post Number: 384 Registered: 3-2006  |
I am so sorry that you have lost your old friend. Writing about him here honors his memory. I will remember Adam's family, and you, in your grief, in my prayers; that you may find the strength and comfort you need, in the embrace of all those who love you. blessings, Calli | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1848 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thank you Calli. I'm just a wreck over this because I wasn't there for him. I couldn't reach out and I couldn't reach back I was having such a miserable time and his energy was always so god-damned high and he drained me and wore me down (plus he was deathly allergic to cats). But through all our years we knew we'd always be friends. I don't ever rememeber not knowing him. Part of me wants to call my late husband to tell him of this horrible thing. I won't, there's no reason to reach out, but this is Adam. Everyone loves Adam. I'll call Adam's brother tonight. | ||
| Lucy Smith Citizen Username: Lucy123 Post Number: 199 Registered: 6-2005 |
I'm so sorry. I'm sure he knew you still loved him and that you just needed to come back to him in your own way/time. I'm sorry for your loss and you are in my thoughts.... | ||
| Scully Citizen Username: Scully Post Number: 616 Registered: 8-2005 |
Lynn, I am so sorry to hear about Adam. When you spoke of it last night I didn't realize that you had JUST found out. I wish you peace with this and you are in my thoughts. Scully | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23319 Registered: 6-2001 |
Wow, that's really tough. It sounds as if both of you were going through difficult times and couldn't comfort each other. Please don't blame yourself or be too hard on yourself. I'm here if you want to talk. Betsy | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1849 Registered: 10-2003 |
Lucy, you're so kind to post in the midst of your own grief and confusion. I'm glad you're here. Thank you. Scully, it started sinking in while we were talking. I'm sorry if I zoned out a bit on you. Bets, I know you're here. You're always here for me. Thank you. Counting my husband, Adam is my third friend to die in three years. One day there is a person, the next, a memory. I know that's life, and I know there is more, and I know I'm doing okay. | ||
| Lucy Smith Citizen Username: Lucy123 Post Number: 201 Registered: 6-2005 |
las-I know from experience (as well as many people here and you yourself) that you will be ok. It is truly the hardest thing in life to lose someone you love, especially when it is unexpected (although i don't believe there is any way to prepare yourself for a loved one's death no matter how "expected" it is). I do know that with time comes clarification of the love that was there and the true depth of a relationship. I have found that the only way to get through it is to wake up each morning and make a point to think of a wonderful memory of that person in an effort to push the fresh memory of the death behind the good memories. And each morning it gets a little easier. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to have bad days as well as good days and know that friends, family and memories (good and bad) will get you through each day and eventually the hole in your heart will begin to scar over, for it does close but it will leave a mark on your life forever. | ||
| duncanl Citizen Username: Duncanl Post Number: 24 Registered: 4-2002 |
Hi las, Wondering about you these days that I have missed you on the train. So sorry to hear about your friend. It sucks. Nothing to say, but that I offer you support and strength. My thoughts are with you so that you can carry on. Hope to see you this weekend. Look forward to that. L | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1076 Registered: 10-2003 |
las- peace to your poor heart and soul... peace for adam... love, b | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1778 Registered: 10-2002  |
Las - think about all the times you have been understanding of others -- that they were going through a period of time when they weren't able to call, email, see you, etc. as regularly as they would have liked. I'm sure you understood that they still cared about you, but that life was "getting in the way" as it often does. I'm sure Adam knew your feelings even if you didn't tell him in person recently -- that's how friends are and it seemed like you had a true friend in Adam. Sending positive thoughts your way... | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5772 Registered: 2-2003 |
las I am so sorry about Adam. Don't blame yourself, easy for me to say standing on the outside. I am sure Adam knew you loved him, knew you were having a hard time, just as he was. Honor his memory by moving forward.... | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 3351 Registered: 9-2003 |
Good advice red. Las, sometimes we hurt so much we have nothing left to give.. true friends understand that and love us anyway. Unconditional love is a glorious thing - and it sounds as though you gave and received it from Adam. What was it that he loved most in the world to do? Go do it this weekend and have a chat with Adam, he will be there right along side you. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1850 Registered: 10-2003 |
The irony, SOL, the thing he loved to do most was give. He would take the clothes off his back if that's what you wanted; cook the finest of foods, serve the best of his wine, share the most fragrant cigars. He'd never mind driving or picking you up and he'd go through his stash of things that he owned to see what you could take home. He didn't volunteer the way I've always done, but he gave like no one else and gave with his heart. When I fell in love I couldn't wait to tell him, just as he couldn't wait to tell me one year prior. And we each had small weddings without inviting the other and when his French bride fell in love with our cats he'd drug up and buck up and make do at our place because she wanted to be there with us and the cats so like the ones back in France. He always gave even when he had nothing. He always treated even when he was broke. For at least fifteen years (and probably more) he'd bring groceries to his infirmed Aunt in Coney Island, it's just what he did because that's what you do. I never loved him like you love a man, we tried years ago but it wasn't for us. But one day a hundred years ago when my husband and his wife were out by the pool and he and I were in the a/c he asked for a hug and I reached for him and I never felt a hug so good and I never needed a hug so bad and he never needed a hug so much and from that point on we would hug when alone, it was just a hug - no mouth, no hands - but it was love and warmth and touch and comfort and it worked for us each for a while. And Adam who gave so much all the time reached out when he was in pain, but I would retreat and build my cocoon, so I missed him this past year. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3982 Registered: 12-2004  |
The way you describe your good friend Adam is the way I think of you. Always giving, never taking. Sounds as if you were soulmates of a different, platonic kind. How nice for you to have had him. I'm sure he understood the place where you were at, and knew you still loved him. I know, when las loves you, there's no doubt. Thinking of you. So sorry you've lost your good friend. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4604 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, I'm sorry too. What you wrote just brought me to tears. Your words are a tribute and I hope he's reading from somewhere. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1851 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thank you, all, for your very kind, very comforting words. I did a pretty dumb thing but it's one of those dumb things that most likely I will do only once as from henceforward I'll know the signs and stop myself and be dumb in some other way just not this same way twice. You see my heart really aches for my friend who just died and the guilt it is rising and I'm feeling like crap (and I know that the guilt is a wasteful emotion but I'm allowing myself a few days of indulgence then I will move on from this place) and during the shock and the pain of this death my Accountant said he wants to hold me close to cry with him so I could set my grief free (his words, I don't have that eloquence in me). So I planned on that, we set a date for today, we'd play hookie we'd love and all would be right. And I changed my schedule and I counted on him and I looked forward to having him help me feel fine and I told my bosses I would have to be out, and the plan was we'd meet and I would feel better and re-enter my life tomorrow. But something came up and he had to cancel, that's life and I understand, but I was despondent because I counted on him to make my pain go away. Just a short year later I lost sight of what works, that you cannot count on a soul, and I was plain dumb for thinking that he could make my hurt go away. So there I was left with a half day at work and I had to leave for I'd made my excuses, and now I am sure even more than before there are no plans there are no commitments there's only the moment, just now. Yes, I was pretty dumb for rearranging my schedule and trying to fit him in and I should have stuck to the way we've been doing it, if the free time is there we will meet. But I lost my head and I lost my way and I counted on someone when I should only have relied on myself and I realize again the only one who can make me feel better is me. I won't make this mistake again. My Accountant loves me and I love him and we will still crunch our numbers and play in the market but I will never again take it for granted there is a man in the world who will be there for me any longer than the current moment. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6315 Registered: 5-2001  |
Las, Hang in there. It'll get better. Just remember, the shock and anguish you feel right now won't last, and you are wonderful. Do you need any extra cash? Love, mem | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1852 Registered: 10-2003 |
Yes, please. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6316 Registered: 5-2001 |
You'll give it to Pippi for that extra lift? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1854 Registered: 10-2003 |
I'll give Pippi some of my own if she's so interested in that extra lift. Got measured last week. I'm a size smaller on the circumference and a letter larger on the cup. Wow: my cleavage is larger than Pippi's •••. My cleavage is larger than your ••• too, mem. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6318 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, I always thought of cleavage as "plumber's butt". But it looks great on you! Very sexy. I tried on one of those push up bras and it made me burst out laughing. I rather a guy look at my face and listen to my words then stare at my chest while imaging his face in there. One benefit of not having large boobs is I have no sag yet and I can still go braless - I never found a comfortable bra anyway, I always feel like I am strapped in a harness. If you can recommend a comfy bra I will include you in my substantial will (though I will try not to burden you with "extra cash"). No yoga tonight - I am committed to drinks at Centanni's, and will be wearing no bra and my underwear on my head. You are welcome to join us please. Love you, mem | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4606 Registered: 5-2001 |
You guys are pretty cryptic but cleavage is foreign to me too. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1855 Registered: 10-2003 |
I don't want you to feel left out, VIG. My clevage is larger than VIG's ••• and clevage combined. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4610 Registered: 5-2001 |
Actually, my ••• is quite round. I'd say my ••• is double Ds. This baby got back. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2342 Registered: 8-2003  |
I agree - Las' cleavage is not bigger than VIGs arse thanks for thinking of me, mem. I'll gladly take las' extra cash for my bra | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 8048 Registered: 5-2001  |
Las, Las. You were not stupid. Even in the most wonderful, stable relationships, things come up and plans get changed. Resist the temptation to over-analyze. Besides, it's never a good thing to rely on someone else to provide you with a sense of security and happiness. I firmly believe that you can't make someone else feel secure and happy until you feel that way about yourself. And you are so getting there; this is just a crappy moment. OK - sappy, not-like-me stuff over with. Nothing is worse than having both T&A cleavage if you are 5' tall or less. It's cute when you are 30ish but after 40, you look like Nancy Walker.  I figue I can wait for my ••• to fall or get tibia implants to be taller. Random thought - does anyone else get creeped out by toe cleavage, or is it just me? | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 6319 Registered: 5-2001 |
I kind of get creeped out by all cleavages. When I was little this plumber came to the house and had his pants sagging from the tool belt and classic plumper's butt and I had nightmares that I got stuck in it and couldn't get out. Yuck! |
