| Author | Message | ||
     Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4582 Registered: 5-2001 |
OK, not as exciting as Me&theboys' addition, but what can a girl do? I decided I cannot be a prisoner in my own home anymore. I am cleaning up and clearing out. No matter what I do (or however often someone comes to clean my house) I always feel there's too much stuff strewn about. The girls rarely put their toys (or scraps of paper they're doodling on) away. I barely ever see the top of our dining/kitchen/homework/craft table. (And all this chit chat is stopping me from cleaning it off I suppose.) This is not something I am particularly good at. I procrastinate. I have cleaning ADD...moving from one project to the next. Today I cleared some stuff out of my office area, went downstairs, cleaned stuff up there, came back up, emptied a desk that was never used as a desk (our second improperly used desk removed from the first floor this week). Well, now I have bags and boxes of stuff I need to sort through, organize and toss. We might even have a yard sale, something I swore I'd never do. Part of me would rather donate anything useful, but another part of me would like to see someone get some type of enjoyment out of hand-me-down toys, clothes, purses, etc. (And earn a little cash...) So, all you minimalists out there, please channel me. Pass along your words of encouragement. I need it. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7983 Registered: 5-2001  |
Get yourself some large contractor bags (extra strength). Get a large cardboard box. Get a laundry basket. Pick a room (this way you can stay relatively in one place and indulge your ADD at the same time by flitting about the room). Everything goes into one of the 3 vessels. Bag: toss. Box: donate. Basket: keep & find a place for. Once something goes in the bag, do not look back. Tie up filled bags (make sure that they are liftable) and put out back until you can move them to the end of the driveway for the next garbage pick-up. The cardboard boxes should either go in your trunk (where you can drive them around until you get to the Salvation Army in Irvington) or stacked in the garage until you can send the hubby to drop them off on a Saturday. By now, you are tired of this and don't want to do it anymore and have to make dinner. Shove the baskets in the attic or a closet until you feel like dealing with them. It's half-assed, but better than nothing. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4583 Registered: 5-2001 |
Hey G, it seems several times a year we do the basement clean out with the contractor bags. Several times a year I donate bags & boxes to the Vets, and I throw out plenty. I guess I never do it thoroughly enough. Funny conversation I had with a neighbor/teacher at my kids school. I asked her about saving schoolwork. I currently have a large bin under my desk and a few things (bags) in the attic. (Not to mention current files in their computer armoire.) She said if I saved everything there'd be no room for us in this house. I have the girls organize all their schoolwork into expanding files, but it often piles up before it gets done. Maybe I should just toss most of the stuff before that even happens? Note to mom: please no more coloring, puzzle or sudoku books. We have plenty. For us and all the preschoolers/senior citizens in the neighborhood too. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2846 Registered: 9-2003  |
I LOVE to clean in the way you describe. Agree with greenetree on the need to sort (not think, sort). Sometimes, too, it helps if you can convince someone likeminded to come sit with you during the rough bits. It's hard to defend what you feel like you should keep when you have to explain it someone else. Also, I'm the list making type, so I'd be inclined to make an excel spreadsheet of every piece of the cleaning out, just so I could plan my efforts and have things to check off: Computer Room 1. Brown desk 2. Black file drawer 1 3. Black file drawer 2 4. Bookshelf 5. My half of closet 6. His half of closet And so on. It's a sickness, but well it works for me...! Go, girl, Go! Also, watch one of those shows like Clean House or Designed to Sell to be inspired by what minimalism and order can do for you... | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2328 Registered: 8-2003  |
"Several times a year I donate bags & boxes to the Vets, and I throw out plenty. I guess I never do it thoroughly enough. " It's not that you don't do it enough, it's that you haven't figured out a good sytem for what to keep. Once you do a clean out, you should be very strict about what stays and goes as you move forward. If you buy a shirt, get rid of a shirt. (same for the girls!) If junk mail comes in, it should go back out that day rather than pile up. if the kids lose interest in a toy, bye bye. what probably happens is that you do a clean out and then fall back into old habits for the next 6 months, adding to the pile up. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4585 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks for the support ladies. I need this, I like this! In my ideal home, I will have tons of storage and always know where my school supplies, art supplies, games, toys, etc are. I LIKE organized, it's just hard to be! Cyn, I love watching those shows, seeing people get rid of stuff can really be inspiring! | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2330 Registered: 8-2003 |
VIG - I am sure I made this offer before... I have been known in a previous life as "The Sweeper". I can be brutal, but necessary for folks like you who just can't get rid of stuff. I'll help you sweep, but then the maintenance and organization is up to you. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7984 Registered: 5-2001 |
Pippi - my brother used to be like that. We called him "The Cleaner". He helped me do our garage & he organized our basement. Once he had kids, he became useless. VIG - I hired Suzanne Janow to clear out a bunch of books in a small room and take them to the attic. If you need a helper, you might consider giving her a call. Someone with no emotional attachement to these things can just ptich. And what's up with keeping the homework? Is someone going to refer back to their 4th grade math if they get stuck on a problem in 6th grade? Keep one or two really cute projects from each grade & the rest....... Also, use the "1 year" rule. If it hasn't been used in a year, bye-bye. For clothes, it's two seasons and anything that doesn't fit give or take five pounds. The other secret is not to ask anyone's opinion. Given the choice, most kids and spouses will say "yes, I might need that". No one knows better than you how often things actually get used/worn. Be brutal! | ||
| LilLB Citizen Username: Lillb Post Number: 1754 Registered: 10-2002  |
If my sister lived closer, I'd send her over. Growing up, she used to pay ME if I let her organize my disasterously messy room. What a good gig that was for me... Now, I'm actually pretty organized and am anti-clutter, but I don't have kids, so I imagine it's an easier task. If you give me a dumpster and a few hours though, I'd have your place clutter free. You wouldn't have anything left in the house, but you wouldn't have any clutter...  Why not get the kids involved in your effort and have them select 5-10 toys/items they want to donate to charity and then bring the kids to Good Will/Salvation Army or the like. | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5717 Registered: 2-2003  |
VIG I admire you, I so need to do that...... I would love someone to come to my house and get my butt in order  | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4586 Registered: 5-2001 |
LilB, the kids have been pretty good. LAst weekend on that rainy Saturday we were in the basement and I told them about the yard sale idea. I forget exactly what we decided but they were pretty gung ho about selling stuff. The clothes are hard. I am a keeper of that stuff. I have two sentimental items, at least, I wore this funky black and gold/multi-color blazer to my sweet 16 and have a picture of me with my grandmother on that day. The other is the preserved wedding gown. I also have too many jeans and other things so maybe it's time to say goodbye. Even worse is the kids' clothes. My mom is a shopaholic and they have too much stuff. I have to make dinner now but I will keep all these thoughts in my mind for later or tomorrow's goals! | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2847 Registered: 9-2003 |
OK, this is an awful admission, but. My daughter is now finishing 7th grade. I have kept a minimal amount of school work, year over year. Now that she's old enough, I ask for her input. I keep report cards, key drawings or papers. We're talking like maybe 4 pieces a year aside from report cards. At the end of summer and the end of winter I force march her through massive try on to determine what to save in vague hope that next season it'll fit, and what from last season actually fits for this. What doesn't goes immediatly to either a friend whose kid can ware, or consignment or similar. Me, I'm not bad as I got rid of my ultra smalls and ultra bigs. Same with Curt. Fact it, even if you get to the way smaller or way bigger place, you will not want to wear that stuff ever again. I got my kid to ahve a garage sale after 4th grade. She desperately wanted this American Girl doll clothes trunk that cost $125. I said no way, but if she wanted to have a Barbie and baby toy sale, that might get it. It most certainly did! Ditto on give aways, especially to daycares that serve kids who need the toys. | ||
| new_2_nj Citizen Username: New_2_nj Post Number: 11 Registered: 4-2005 |
I know you don't know me but I couldn't resist chiming in... check out a website called www.flylady.com. It's literally dedicated to overcoming the problems that you described (you're definitely not alone). The basic methodology revolves are decluttering and watching out for "hot spots", but doing everything in 15 minute incremements ("you can do anything for 15 minutes" is a mantra) and also getting the kids involved. Each week is a different "zone" in the house and they a "mission" is posted each day. I have to tell you that if you follow it, it REALLY works. The house actually gets clean and decluttered (takes a little time - "babysteps" is another mantra) but, it's much less time consuming and much less stressful than spending all day moving piles around the house AND the benefit is that once the house is clean it will STAY clean. One thing - there are definitely some Christian undertones in some of the terminology "flylady" uses but, as someone who's not religious in any way, I just find that a little cheesy as opposed to off-putting. Good luck! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4587 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks Cyn & new2nj. I appreciate... Did check in with flylady, maybe even got the emails once. Should do it again to motivate. | ||
| Lizziecat Citizen Username: Lizziecat Post Number: 1266 Registered: 5-2003 |
Oh God. You're all so organized. I have been living in this house since 1969, so you can imagine how much stuff I have. The trouble is, it's all tucked away in closets or on shelves or in the garage or someplace. Every time we get more stuff, we just put up more shelves. Plus, my inlaws died, and my parents died, and we have lots of their stuff. And whenever my children needed to "temporarily" store something, it came here. This is just a normal sized house--not huge or anything, but it contains stuff from at least 12 lifetimes. I think I need a drink. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3946 Registered: 12-2004  |
I was also going to suggest flylady.com (although I've never used it myself--yet). I've got to move most of my stuff out of the first floor to prepare for construction and will be doing a lot of purging then--and boy do we need it. Then "after" come toys and crap all over the rest of the house. We'll be switching kids and beds and bedrooms. Then I intend to hit the playroom downstairs and purge a good 50%-60% of toys. You know what they say about the best laid plans...... And I perfectly understand your frustration VIG. Feels like I'm there just about every day. My latest battle is switching out winter clothes for summer clothes, throwing out worn out stuff, getting rid of good stuff that won't fit anyone anymore! It's never ending. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3483 Registered: 5-2001 |
Maybe we need a 12-step group. I definitely have all these same issues. Re kids school stuff, each kid has a file-size box and we always toss the school stuff there throughout the year. Sometime during summer vacation (when the kids aren't home) I would go through each box and select a few items to save which are then packaged and put in a box in our basement. We probably still save too much of this stuff, but this has worked fairly well for us. I did notice that the volume went down drastically when we got to Middle School, in fact I haven't had to go through the high schooler's box in a couple of years now as it hasn't filled up, but this technique saved us through preschool and elementary school. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2441 Registered: 7-2003 |
Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope Nope You’re doing it backwards. Take it from an official OCD sufferer, who obsesses over things in the house. The problem that you have is that can organize your ••• off but that doesn’t help if you don’t have anyplace to put things. Start with your storage. For example: Last week I was doing what I always do, cleaning, and I came across the hallway closet. This goes here, that goes in the trash, this over there, ooooo legos. Anyway I tossed a bunch of stuff and ended up with a ½ empty closet. Here is where the magic happens. I realized that this would be a perfect place for vases, which are currently stored over the microwave. They’re only use once a month, if that, the hall closet is where they belong!!!! So I (after washing) get all the vases and place them in the hall closet, low and behold, the cabinet over the sink is now empty! This is a prime spot for the crock pot, fondue pot, and deep fryer. They should be in the kitchen, but are also rarely used. EMPTY PANTRY SHELF! See it’s really very easy. | ||
| Crazy_quilter Citizen Username: Crazy_quilter Post Number: 322 Registered: 2-2005 |
now this is a blog i can really get into! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4593 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett, you're right, storage issues are a BIG problem in the house of Vig. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7990 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett - sounds like me. Things would be much better if they were in the right place. I'm on a never-ending quest to put things in convenient places. BTW - I think that the secret to being half-organized is to not have children. This way, you have a guest room and the bed becomes a sort of clothing purgatory: at the end of each season, I can dump clothes from the bedroom onto the guest bed and slowly move things over. Folded laundry, towels that need to be folded. Things can stay there indefinitely (or until someone comes to visit). Shoes are another question. I switch my shoes out all at one time. The thing that has been bothering me lately is the closet full of evening wear. We don't do the black-tie/cocktail stuff like we used to and many of the things probably don't fit anyway. But, some things you don't throw out: it's a royal PIA story a 4-tiered, full length petticoat, but they are a bitch to find and too expensive to replace for the once a decade time you need them. Hmmm - next rainy day, all the short cocktail dresses are going..... | ||
| hismom Citizen Username: Hismom Post Number: 454 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh - I can totally relate to the too much stuff no place to put it - especially kid stuff. I tried flylady once but I couldn't keep up and it made me feel worse. I found a great use for all those paintings/pictures that come home from preschool: I use it as wrapping paper for the grandparents gifts (as well as the aunts & uncles of DH who get gifts). It gets it out the door - with out being in the recycle bin and the kid feels good that their project is used for such a special thing. (If anyone needs some, i've got some extra!) | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2849 Registered: 9-2003 |
Agree with sac. Come middle school, little gets saved. A thing I've never done but sounded to me like a cool solution to kid school work: An annual, framed collage. I was watching some HGTV show or other (or one of those scrapbooking shows) and a "viewer" did a thing where each year she bought a poster frame with the plexiglass and made a short of "year in review" thing with some key pieces of the kid's school work, any awards/ribbons and a school pix. I thought that was pretty clever, and you could end up with an array of these in some hallway or den or similar. It sort of forced one to be selective about what was saved, and the kid had a say in what was saved. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7991 Registered: 5-2001 |
I like that better than what my brother does. He mails loads of kid pics, school stuff, etc. to the grandparents, aunts & uncles. He pretends that they are keepsakes. I have no trouble tossing them. | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 1509 Registered: 3-2002 |
I have a basket for each kid up high on top of a wardrobe...I keep the best things (& recycle the rest after they have gone to bed) & put in their respective basket. Every so often I go through & reconsider & get rid of more - I ask the older one to help decide what to keep. Haven't figured out what to do with the stuff after that. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1836 Registered: 10-2003 |
VIG and Friends, I've been struggling for days to come up with something witty and supportive to say, to no avail. I am somewhat of a minimalist and trash stuff as I go. The only clutter in my place are furballs, acne regimens and junk mail for my late husband. I can assert that not having crap around is SO liberating. You'll find out when you get there. Great way to start the summer! Keep up the motivation! | ||
| hismom Citizen Username: Hismom Post Number: 456 Registered: 5-2001 |
It's funny that my friends consider me super organized, but I don't feel that way with all the "kid clutter". I'm looking forward to the vast decrease in paper coming in starting this week when preschool ends. Once the end of the school year hits at Marshall, my son is in for a major toy clearing out (little does he know this). We have so many toys he hasn't touched in eons now that he is into sports & Yu Gi Oh cards. I need space for my daughter's new princess obsession! | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1067 Registered: 10-2003 |
hismom- if the toys are in good shape consider donating to the Morrow Turnover Sale (info at 973-762-1872). The money that the United Methodist Women make from this sale (in it's 73rd year) goes to mission work in Maplewood/South Orange and the world!!! Ciao! BGS | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 2201 Registered: 11-2001  |
VIG, I am in a similar situation - kids with toys, crayons, clothes, etc., piled everywhere, and just too much stuff. I have been talking for months about purging, and have done mini-purges along the way. (In fact, since Pippi showed me where the Red Cross in Millburn is, I probably have dropped eight bags of clothing there). I keep saying I will sell some of these things, or donate to where I can get a receipt, but the truth of the matter is that I just want things OUT. The value to me of getting rid of stuff is probably greater than what I could deduct from my taxes. (That said, I have some Lenox vases to sell on eBay.) I am glad you started this thread. Your comments and everyone else's suggestions are very motivating to me, too. | ||
| Shanabana Citizen Username: Shanabana Post Number: 549 Registered: 10-2005  |
For me the upkeep is the hardest! I've come up with systems but fail to stick to them. My husband is a real clutterer too. My daughter is bad. The toddler is hopeless. I need to do like Pippi says, and stick to rules - one in, one out. Recycling always piling up... We all have too much stuff, here in the USA. It disturbs me how much crap we have. Did you see The Children of Paradise (Les Enfants du Paradis), about those kids who had to share one pair of shoes? (SUCH a great film!) If only there were a direct depository accessible to the third world... GOOD LUCK VIG! | ||
| knak Citizen Username: Knak Post Number: 166 Registered: 5-2002 |
Greentree described the "clothing room" that we had for 17 years pre-kid. I miss that and have never adjusted! I keep trying to keep it (clothing for sorting/ironing/mending/maybe give-away, in the office but it spills over and joins the paper & book collection throughout the dining room (home of all projects adult & child). 14-1/2 years in this house... and the clutter is one of the major obstacles to remodeling! | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2445 Registered: 7-2003 |
This thread is killing me. What is the last thing you do before going to bed? I like to take a walk around the house and make sure that everything is put away, makes me feel like the day is officially done. What is the first thing you do in the morning? Well pee, but then I like to take a walk around the house and make sure that everything is put away, makes me feel like the day is officially starting. What is the first thing you do when you get home from work? I like to take a walk around the house and make sure that everything is put away, makes me feel like the day is officially happening. | ||
| hismom Citizen Username: Hismom Post Number: 459 Registered: 5-2001 |
Um, Brett, do you have kids? The last *thing* I do before bed is dishes, make sure lunches are made for the next day, there is clean clothes, the cats are fed & litter box scooped and there is a path to walk through! My husband comes home at 1 am and makes further mess and the first thing I do in the morning is clean up what he did while I was sleeping, get the kids up for school and the cycle continues..... My house may not be the neatest (note, it's clean) but my kids are happy and know that I will drop cleaning to play with them. (unless MIL is on her way over  ) | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2447 Registered: 7-2003 |
saddly I'm not sure how I will handle kids  | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2333 Registered: 5-2001 |
Man, this blog really speaks to me. I struggle, struggle, struggle with organization. I am so overwhelmed by my house! And even when I get it pretty good it comes right back. First off, I know we have way too much STUFF. Clothes, books, toys, trading cards. Board games that I bought envisioning high-quality non-electronic family time that are still in the shrink-wrap after two years. I signed on to fly-lady for a while...and when I do it it really does help, but I've slid away again. I think I'll go "fling" for 15 minutes. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2854 Registered: 9-2003 |
One or more kids are tough, unless they have a designated playroom. When my kid was little, clutter drove me a little nuts. Her room was not very big, and the only playroom like space was immediately visible from the front door. Little kids toys seem to be large, and frequently plastic (play kitchens, dolls, doll equipment). Drove me a little nuts as I am the tidy type. But, as soon as we were able to designate a spare room as the playroom, all got better. The big kid stuff was behind a door! And, it stayed there. On the other hand, I knew a family or 2 with 4-6 kids and, given a playroom, they were pretty organized with each kid having a big plastic tub for their own stuff and the rest organized. After dinner, kids were on deck to put their stuff away. This particular piece of "training" came from the mothers who were at home and organized types. I don't think its about numbers of kids, but more the at home parent's way of being. Either way seems to be fine depending on comfort level. Gets better after about 3rd grade. The big toys get miraculously smaller and easier to shelve, stow in bins etc. I've always been pretty tidy about keeping stuff in its proper room. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1840 Registered: 10-2003 |
In Brett's defense, he does have a naughty puppy. Myself having a naughty cat, I can assure you our naughty four-legged little ones are draining and require order and structure in the home - a neverending task! Don't judeth, ye juggling parents of children with toys and markers, lest ye be judged.  | ||
| hismom Citizen Username: Hismom Post Number: 460 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cynicalgirl - glad to hear it gets a bit easier to corral toys etc when they get bigger. Does the influx of paper from school slow down? (1st grade & preschool this year fill the recycle bins quickly so that one of my daughter's favorite errands is helping dump containers at the recycling centerr!) Las - Not judging, just implying that with kids comes volumes of "stuff" that can't be as easily controlled - what is treasure to them is well, clutter to me. I've got 2 kids and 3 cats - the youngest being a very mischevious 7 month old kitten who loves dumping anything she can. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1843 Registered: 10-2003 |
Sorry, hismom! I tried to make that read like a joke...unsuccessully...  | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1068 Registered: 10-2003 |
ess and all others....Morrow does give tax forms to those who request them . I am going to try flylady..I am always afraid if I get rid of something I am going to need it next week....like the mini muffin pans that I bought 5 years ago and have never been used...but next week there might be some free time to use the pans should I happen to find the recipe that I bought them for....and the cycle continues.... Am going to the attic and going thru the boxes of stuff that I saved from the girl's school years and taking out what I really want and then I am going to give them their boxes and they can do whatever they want with the rest.... Am so glad to know that I am not alone in this mess!!! Ciao! B |
