| Author | Message | ||
     MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3880 Registered: 12-2004  |
O.K. it's time (to start the renovation blog), mostly because I'm a completely stressed out mess and we haven't even been issued permits yet. The plans have been reviewed, so I could be any day now. Just don't know what day. And I know I'm going to get that call that says "we got permits, we're coming to start digging up your back yard and completely disrupting your life TOMORROW! So we haven't even broken ground yet, and already I'm not sleeping. Haven't been sleeping for several weeks. Makes it very hard to function during the day. And I won't even go in to what it's doing to my intestines! And the best part is I'VE COMPLETELY DONE THIS TO MYSELF. And the budget is quickly disappearing, so it's very possible I may not actually have cabinets in my new kitchen! HELP ME! So, it remains to be seen whether there will be any more entries in to the renovation blog, but I really need a little sympathy right now. Hubby could sleep through a train wreck and tells me I'm just being silly when I can't sleep because I'm worried there won't be enough money in the budget to rent the "Pod" and even if there were I can't very well move the sofa in to it by myself with three kids, a dog, the house, the laundry, meals, diapers, bedtimes, playdates, piano lessons, T-ball, softball, end of school parties......and he's never around to help. Plus I gotta be out of here by July 4th weekend. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3881 Registered: 12-2004 |
"Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, I'm going out and eat woooOOOooorms!" | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 647 Registered: 5-2005 |
Renovations are the worst.... If ever you seen a strong cup of coffee, I always have a pot on the go! | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3882 Registered: 12-2004 |
Soparents, do you think it's possible for a person to drink too much coffee? And if so, what do you suppose the ramifications might be? Stream of consciousness: Thank god for my kitty, my sweet, handsome, fuzzy boy. He always sympathizes with me, never yells, screams, throws food on the floor or hits his brothers! And he just loves me to death, which he proves by purring insanely whenever he's near me. Love you Chesta! | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 648 Registered: 5-2005 |
Nope... I have been conducting a (non) scientific experiment over the last decade or two, and so far I have not found the critical point at which a human body can no longer contain coffee and therefore start to ooze caffeine. I am all for research, and whilst using myself as the guinea pig, I will continue with ever more quantities of coffee, trying to find the outer limits of coffee consumption. Now, if you ask me what the ramifications are of NO coffee, THAT is another story... | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4524 Registered: 5-2001 |
Question re: PODS. Where are you keeping yours, in your driveway? Is there a local place that will store your POD for you? Also, you can deal with it. Lukcily your BR spaces won't be disturbed, right? The hardest part was clearing everything out of my kitchen (the day before we were leaving on a cruise!) It'll be summer, you'll be out of the house more. When you are home, make sure you have a microwave, crock pot and toaster oven. We kept our refrigerator in our living room (helped a lot!). This too shall pass... | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 649 Registered: 5-2005 |
Would you like some help? I am more than up for getting things into your pod etc etc, I will even bring a coffee.....!!!!!!! | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3883 Registered: 12-2004 |
Re: Pods, haven't done the research yet, but my understanding is that they will take it away and store it for you. Need to check with the town to see what the "rules" are regarding Pods. Saw one in front of a house on the very southern end of Dunnell, but I don't know if it was on the lawn or in the driveway, or if it stayed there long or if they took it away. Don't think I can keep it in my driveway unless it goes all the way back, since work will be done in the back and access is needed. Thought about just leaving it on the front lawn for a couple of months, but don't know how the neighbors (hint, hint VIG) might feel about it. My front lawn pretty much sucks anyway, so I really couldn't care less if I kill some of it. Good news is: I'll be gone the entire month of July and a bit of the beginning of August, so I don't have to deal with the chaos during those weeks. Bad news is: I've got to get everything in order in the house before I go. But if VIG was able to pack up her whole kitchen the day before she left for a cruise, I guess I can pack up the majority of my first floor a couple of weeks before I leave? Good news is: we are working in 2 phases. First phase, build addition and install new kitchen, break through and make changes to existing floor plan in all rooms on first floor except my existing kitchen. Phase 2, when most of the work in phase 1 is finished, and I have a "functioning" kitchen (by September when the kids go back to school.....PLEASE GOD), then they block off my existing kitchen from the rest of the house and gut it and convert it to my new dining room. Here's hoping it goes as planned (yes, I know, not holding my breath). Soparents, thanks for the offer and--be warned--I may very well take you up on it! | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6410 Registered: 12-2001  |
I highly recommend that you suspend that renovation blog. I kept one once and was completely and unjustifiably evicerated for posting pictures and stating facts about the process and the outcome. The dangers of the MOL world, I guess. As for the sleep thing. Being a dad (albeit of only one child) I tried for two years to be the one who got up to deal with my son but there comes a time when every dad realizes that their children are hard wired to their mom. Providing the child has one. It got to the point that when I entered the room it would only escalate the problem with the "I WANT MOMMY NOT YOU" shouts. So finally, I stopped trying. I hate that I can't help. The only time I can is when the child goes to be knowing that his mom will not be home that night. Then if he needs something or is freaked out (a la last nights wicked thunderstorms) he konws that I am the only option. Wish there was more I could say to help. Lunesta/Ambien all require a minimum of 8 hours available for sleep because if you take it and sleep less than that you will seriously lose your short to mid term memory. Been there done that. Good luck. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7887 Registered: 5-2001  |
I find that 5mg Ambien gives me 6 hours & I am able to get up without a hangover & no memory problems. The CR 12.5 mg formulation is another story altogether; tried it a couple times & it was like taking a handful of quaaludes. Or so I've heard. I kind of agree with Duncan re: blogging, but would have done it differently rather than not have done it at all. I was very kind on my blog. I tried to be humorous & never posted details of the major issues because I didn't want to hurt a local businessman (my fake ex-contractor). I mildly alluded to some of the issues, but tried to keep it about the process and my feelings. Since it turned out that his work didn't hold up and we have done everything from rebuild the new bathroom (after 4 months) to still tweaking things that aren't holding, I wish I hadn't been so kindly towards him. If I recall, Duncan had the opposite problem. He posted all his frustrations & got lambasted for it. We used the same guy, BTW. If I had to do it again, I might describe the process, my feelings, the ups & downs. I think that I would not name any names whatsoever and be honest about good days and bad days. Just remember, it's a horrible process and you will come to hate your contractor if for no other reason than he is always there and you have no privacy. The good thing is that you will be away & have a break. And don't let me freak you out about my experience. My guy had some major personal issues which affected his ability to do the job. I did some reference checks, but since he'd done smaller projects for us for years, I wasn't really worried. My biggest mistake was in not talking to lots of references who had him do similar jobs. People were coming out of the woodwork to share their similar stories about him, after he crashed & burned on me. I have never heard of anyone else having had quite this type of issue with their contractor. The process is horrible; the majority of the guys who do it are not. In the end, when it is done, it will have gone by like a blur and you won't be able to imagine having lived in your "before" house. | ||
| mjc Citizen Username: Mjc Post Number: 1157 Registered: 10-2004 |
Here's a second for "microwave, crock pot and toaster oven. We kept our refrigerator in our living room" Also, 2 words: mother's helper. Would it help to have a middle school or high school student for a couple of hours late afternoon/early evening to take the kid pressure off (OR come in and move/schlep things?)? Maybe a guy? Hang in there! It will be so beautiful when it's over. (can you nap when your boys nap, or are they past napping already?) | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2437 Registered: 10-2001  |
I have to chime in since we just completed a complete gut of our kitchen and 1st floor bathroom about a week ago. I will gladly give the name of the contractor to any one who wants it all you have to do is PL me. Our renovation probably went about as smoothly as we could have expected, of course we were over budget and of course there were things that occurred that we would have done differently had we known better. There were things that we thought were included in the original contract but were not, there were things that the contractor tried to charge us for as "extras" but were settled on and there was one screw-up that I'm sure many people would not have lived with but we chose to live instead with a compromise. We had the contractor move our gas stove into our laundry room in the basement, bought a 11 cu. ft. refrigerator (also installed in the laundry room), hooked up the microwave in the dining room and survived. The cons for us were: Dust, dust and more dust. It gets everywhere and no matter how the contractors try to clean it will never be enough or to your satisfaction. After all you have to live there and they don't. They were in our house all the time. Luckily my wife and I both work so most of the time they were there while we weren't but there were a few days where they just wanted to finish and wound up being at our house until 7:30 or so. Extras - its very hard to say "no" don't fix that when you have the walls open and every thing torn apart. I am a big believer of fixing it now rather than later - just remember that it costs money to fix things and in the end those things add up and your contractor will write all those things down. Of course the biggest downer was the corner cabinet with a drawer that conflicted with the stove. The drawer doesn't pull out 100% because it hits the stove. Of course we didn't notice the problem until after the countertop and stove were installed. That left us with a decision. Have the contractor rip out the cabinets and re-do the countertops or leave it and deal with it in some other way. Based on the blogs that others have written most people would have had a meltdown at that point because ripping out the cabinets and countertops would have resulted in at least another two to three weeks possibly more because the sink base would have had to been re-ordered, new template for the countertop etc. In the end we felt that we just wanted to be finished and we were able to negotiate with the contractor a settlement that was satisfactory to everyone involved. And of course finally the cost. When we first started this project we thought we could gut the kitchen and bathroom and re-do them for 30K. I told our architect at the time we'd probably be willing to exceed that amount by about 50% if we had to. When the bids started coming in at twice that price we originally balked and thought about moving but in the end we figured we'd be here a while so we went forward. The contractor we chose was on the high side but we got along so well and he was so easy going. He kept saying, "The devil's in the details." He worked well with the architect and came up with some great suggestions. In the end we exceeded our original budget significantly but that was due more to our being unrealistic than anything the contractor did. The Pros - we have a new kitchen and bath that we love. It came out just as we had hoped. They finished very close to when they said they would. They broke down the walls on or about February 20th and we made final payment about a week and a half ago. All in all about ten days or so after they said they would finish. When the final bill was presented to us it was higher than we thought it should be so we called a meeting with the architect and the contractor. We figured we'd go item by item and see where the overages came from but to my surprise the contractor came in and after five minutes he said, "I've been doing this for a long time. You have a number in mind that you're willing to pay. What is it?" I told him and he balked at first but finally agreed - it was almost 20% less than what he billed us. Again, everyone walked away happy and in the end that's all that mattered. I'd work with him again with no reservations. The only advice I can give you is make sure you know what's included in the bid price right down to the last screw. Things like dimmers, switches, the type of electrical boxes, the grade of wood. Triple check the architect's drawings and make sure you get things in writing. No one is perfect and there will be mistakes. You need to be flexible within reason. We are very easy going people and we don't mind compromising and as a result the whole process went well. There was only one time tears were close to being shed and that was when my wife came home to find a chip about a quarter inch deep in the brand new counter top. She called me and was fit to be tied. I was in Myrtle Beach when she called and she was practically in tears. I called the contractor immediately and his response was not to worry he'd take care of it. He did and now you would never even know it happened. Above all communicate with your contractor. Our guy called me every single day, sometimes multiple times. Then he'd call at night to make sure that we were happy with what was done for the day or to let us know he had different suggestions for the way things should be done. It really doesn't have to be so bad and as greenetree says it will all be over before you know it. Your wallet will be lighter but you'll be much happier. | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6423 Registered: 12-2001 |
Provided you find a good, legitimate, honest contractor. Just like when making a film, the more "pre-production" you do the easier the shoot. The more you plan and work out contingencies and worst case scenarios the better off you will be and the less disappointment you are likely to experience. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1799 Registered: 10-2003 |
Me (and SOP), I've been drinking Irish coffees. The advantage to the Irish coffees are that you can incorporate your sugar and caffeinne in one gulp, as opposed to having to accompany your java with a muffin or sweet, thereby leaving one hand free for whatever else you might need to do with a free hand (barren widow here, my needs might be different than yours  ). Not to mention the light buzz from the whiskey....oooh - it really is a versatile drink. Cheers! Me, keep writing. We'll keep reading. And you'll get through it. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3886 Registered: 12-2004 |
Thanks for all the advice guys. Seems sportsnut could write a book. I'm doing my best to get a handle on all the details before hand, and my architects are a great help (but not so much to my budget), but there's just so much! Duncan, it's not the kids at all. It's totally me and my inability to sleep through the night when I'm really stressed. But I know what you mean about the kids only wanting mommy. Happens in our house all the time. And it's true what you say about it escalating if my husband tries to help. Going to try to sit down and really hash out the budget, and what's left, this weekend. Maybe start trying to pack up some stuff--only thing is I hesitate to go ahead and do too much because I'm afraid the whole deal could fall apart at any time. Perhaps just getting some control over a process I seem to have very little control over will help. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7894 Registered: 5-2001 |
Sports - did you end up going with the guy we talked about? | ||
| joy Citizen Username: Joy Post Number: 465 Registered: 5-2001  |
Me& I feel your pain. We're considering redoing the kitchen. The thing that is stopping it from moving forward is me. mind you - I hate my kitchen and want it ripped out. I don't do well with major disruptions in my house(refinishing the first floor wood floor - etc). I will have to resolve this somehow - just not sure how yet. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3889 Registered: 12-2004 |
Joy, I'm pretty sure listening to me right now is not going to help! I know this is really the best idea for us. I know I have to bite the bullet and "just do it." I know I'm lucky to be in a position to get away from it all for a while. I know I've brought this all on myself. I know I'm lucky to be able to do it at all. I know I'll be really happy (for so many reasons) when it's all done. I'm just dreading the process! And not sleeping as a result. If I was dreading the process and still able to sleep through for 6 or 8 hours, then I'd probably be better. But I've never been good with sleep deprivation. | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2438 Registered: 10-2001 |
Greenetree - Yes. He's a little quirky but very easy to get along with. Turns out that he went to the same art school that my stepson just graduated from. They even had some of the same professors - considering there's a 35+ year difference in age that's amazing. Did you know he wrote a book? | ||
| sportsnut Citizen Username: Sportsnut Post Number: 2439 Registered: 10-2001 |
Me and - If you haven't finalized your cabinets yet and if kraftmaid is a manufacturer you are considering you should realy call Just Cabinets www.justcabinets.com they were by far the cheapest price and they were extremely easy to deal with. Total price for our cabinets were about 11K Cherry cabinets with arched doors - including two furniture type 84 inch high 21 inch wide pantry cabinets and two 84 inch high 15 inch wide utility cabinets. We also had our old baseboard mouldings matched exactly so if you are interested in that let me know and I'll get you the information. | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6431 Registered: 12-2001 |
Meand...go see your doc. Tell him/her whats up and find relief. you are fully aware, I am sure, that you cannot function as a good wife, parent, daughter, whatever if you are constantly sleep deprived. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3891 Registered: 12-2004 |
Yup, Duncan, thanks. I am fully aware. Last night was my second on Ambien and now you're freaking me out about the short term memory loss (as if I had any to begin with). Have a call in to the doctor now, waiting to hear back. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4527 Registered: 5-2001 |
I found my blogging here very helpful. Like Greenie, I didn't post angrily, but found posting my frustrations helped ease them a lot. It was a nice organized way for me to keep notes without lots of scraps of paper, the last thing I need in my life! Sports, I would love to see your pics! No fair for not sharing! Let me know your contractor/architect when I see you one AM. Also, I was never afraid to tell them what I wanted or what I disliked. (Ask my husband, I'm good at that!) One specific thing that comes to mind is my tumbled stone floor by the back door. I did a mockup on the computer and had it set in a running pattern, like bricks. He set it on a regular grid. After a few rows I went to look and I told him he'd have to take it out. He looked at me like I was nuts. I reminded him of my very specific drawing. He said that's not the way those tiles are usually set. I told him I didn't care, that was how I wanted them and that's how I designed it, that's what I showed him, and pulled the paper out of my file. He redid it. (It was not very time consuming, at least that aspect of the job.) It's better to let them know before it's done than to wait. He put in windows I wasn't too fond of. While the architect spec'd Andersen, he put in Home Depot vinyl in the kitchen. The day after he put it in I told him it would have to come out, it looked way too plasticky. That mistake cost him a lot of time and we spent a few hundred extra. Live and learn! Point being, be on top of everything. Nip any problems in the bud. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23207 Registered: 6-2001  |
Duncan, I don't think I've ever formally apologized for that. I am truly sorry about the wrong foot we started out on. I eventually saw him for what he truly was as well. Just wasted 5 years of my life wearing rose-colored glasses, I guess. Plus, I was consistently lied to. I know excuses are lame, but I hope you'll forgive me. M&TB, I fully expect you'll emerge from this process as the same happy and delightful person I know you to be. | ||
| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5626 Registered: 2-2003  |
Me, I am sure it is going to be a hard road, but hopefully it will be over before you know it! If you ever need a break, PL me, and you and the boys can come over! | ||
| Duncan Supporter Username: Duncanrogers Post Number: 6442 Registered: 12-2001 |
Bets, you didn't and I am glad that you have. I am glad that you are out of that situation. I have heard nothing but good things about you from the Bunnys crowd and wondered why you hadn't ever once said "I'm sorry". It takes a big person to do so, and so you have my gratitude. My wife, on the other hand may never get over it. But I will point her to your post and perhaps she will see her way clear to understanding. I know this is not the place to discuss it but the lies you were told, I told to my family and friends for years. I haven't told such a lie now in 15 years, if you follow my metaphor. Thank you again. That apology means a lot to me. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23213 Registered: 6-2001 |
Thank YOU, Duncan. When we meet (and I'm sure we will) we'll have to compare lies and see if they match up. On the other hand, let's not. He's done. I'm back to me. There's only the future. I hope your wife can forgive me, too. | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 693 Registered: 5-2005  |
MATB.. I hope you managed to get some restful sleep last night.. And with regards to my offer, it was genuine meant, so feel free to take me up on it! | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3922 Registered: 12-2004 |
What a difference a day makes! So, yesterday completely sucked. No permits yet. Still hadn't slept well and had a very tough time getting through the day. Than justmelaura was nice enough to come over and give me clear guidence on how to deal with my Variagated Wiegela's. We cut them down to nubs, and they are ready to be transplanted once the big machines dig me hole. I felt liberated. Hard to believe a couple big, unruly shrubs could have me so stressed. But would you believe I actually slept better last night than I have in almost a week. Still not all night, but getting closer! Then I made a trip to a store called Nest & Company in Montclair, which is all Arts & Crafts furniture, tile, and decorative accessories (my favorite). They were having a sale on Motawi tile and I wanted to find 2 or 3 to put in my new fireplace mantle that will be part of the renovation. Got 3 4x4 tiles of a forest scene that are the exact pattern I had hope to install as a tile mural backsplash over my stove, but had to "delete" because I needed the $1800-$2000 to use somewhere else. The store was spectacular, and the tiles are sumptuous--they're even a delight to hold in your hand--thick and heavy and beautifully glazed. The tree trunks are not brown but more of a bronze color. Then the UPS man finally delivered the custom-made handbag (designed by me) that hubby bought me for Mother's Day. If you love handbags you MUST check out www.1154lill.com. They have dozens of fabrics and styles to choose from, and you create your own bag. Prices are equivilent (or better) than what you might expect to pay for most "designer" bags, but it's a one-of-a-kind because you design it yourself! They also do home parties, like Tupperware and Partylite! Had searched high and low in the stores for something, but everything out there is that ugly 80's-style metallic crap that looks like somebody attacked it with a bedazzler!  | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3923 Registered: 12-2004 |
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| red Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 5697 Registered: 2-2003 |
ME love the bag, glad to hear your day was better! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4553 Registered: 5-2001 |
Very pretty tiles! (and the bag too!) | ||
| Soparents Citizen Username: Soparents Post Number: 824 Registered: 5-2005 |
I've never seen tiles like that, they look amazing, i'm sure you are going to be delighted with them. The bag is cool too!!!!! | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3931 Registered: 12-2004 |
And I'm sure I know what your favorite part of the bag is too, don't I VIG?  | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 4560 Registered: 5-2001 |
I love red — and black & white! | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1045 Registered: 10-2003 |
MeAnd....Keep the faith...it is all going to work out. Kep us posted on progress as it happens...just think, if you do not have a PC while you are away you will have so much to tell us when you return! Great tiles...and the bag is terrific! Ciao! B | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3935 Registered: 12-2004 |
According to my architect, who checked with the building department, the only person left to sign-off on my drawings is the fire inspector. He's due in the office tomorrow at 1:00, and the drawings have been put on top of the pile on his desk! Could it be.............. Permits before the end of the week? | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3948 Registered: 12-2004 |
PERMITS APPROVED! Just got a message (at 4:20 this afternoon) after being out all afternoon until a little after 8:00 this evening. OMG, it's really going to happen. Now what? | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23295 Registered: 6-2001 |
Maintain and remember to breathe. Create a new mantra: I can get through this, I will get through this. | ||
| MeAndTheBoys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 3952 Registered: 12-2004 |
Yup, thanks bets. Breathing and sleeping are top on my list of things to do! Perhaps in July I'll be able to return to regular breathing and sleeping activities, once I get the heck away from here for a month. Meeting with architect and contractor Monday afternoon, so who knows, construction could begin as early as Tuesday or Wednesday. Am waiting to order delivery of my POD, but have yet to be able to speak to Bob Mittermier about regulations. The POD's website tells me street delivery is not an option for this location. Moving boxes anyone? |
