| Author | Message | ||
     greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7843 Registered: 5-2001  |
SOL - I am truly sorry for your loss. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2819 Registered: 9-2003  |
Want to let you guys know that Curt's trip to D.C. went well, and he really enjoyed. When he uploads pix, I'll post one of him and 2 buddies. Went to the Wall, did some rubbings (which he accidentally left in a cab!). Bought me the White House Cookbook. I think it was really good for his head. Only downside is that completely wore himself out and had to postpone today's chemo till tomorrow. He overwalked, didn't sleep enough and such so woke up this a.m. feeling awful. Over it now. Thank you, greenetree, for talking me down from the precipice. It's awful, but every time he gets worn out I think the worst and talking to him from work today was tough. And he intends to drive to chemo tomorrow. This is big stuff. We shall see... Kid and I did fine. Only one fight. I communicated more effectively (yech!) than usual ("When you do X, I feel like Y"). Got past it. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 2267 Registered: 8-2003  |
cynicalgirl - glad to hear Curt got worn out enjoying himself! It could be worse, right? SOL - I am thinking of you and your family....my deepest condolences to you all | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7853 Registered: 5-2001 |
I was thinking that Curt is in better shape than I am. He spends a year barely moving, takes an out of town trip, walks what had to be several miles and comes out exhausted. I, who have been running around like a lunatic for a year, dig up one stupid shrub and can't move for three days. It wasn't a precipice, it was a curb.  Mom's friend L comes over every few days to hang out. I spoke to Mom last night; she's exhausted from my brother being there this weekend and going out a couple days. L's been visiting a lot lately. I don't know why. Maybe she likes your company? She's a little confused about her doc appointment this week. She skipped a week of chemo, so thinks she's seeing the doc, but not having chemo. I asked if she were sure. No. She has to call. She called TS to get her beet recipe. Told TS that she was going to put them in to roast and take a nap. This was around 6p. TS tells me this when I get home from the dentist (got a good report; I just have to work on the flossing thing). What time was this? About an hour ago. The beets should be done by now. She said she's taking a nap? I get worried; I make TS call and make sure that she didn't fall asleep and burn the house down. TS calls - she got tired and had soup instead. I think that she's losing more energy, but is holding on with everything she's got. I'll see if she makes it to work to teach her class this week. Normal Bro and I talked about the fact that we both noticed her getting more hesitant with her driving. We also agreed that we would hold our breath and not talk about taking her car away. Yeah, I know. But when she loses her freedom, it will be all over for her. Normal Bro and his GF were there over the weekend. Her mom lives in the next town over (pure coincidence that they met in Chicago about 3 years ago). Dad calls me Sat. morning. Normal said he's on his way over with GF and her mom. Do you think they have an announcement? No, Dad. They bring her mom because everyone gets along and there isn't much time to visit everyone. Besides, when/if they get maried, they'll probably elope and tell everyone a couple years later. Yeah- that's what he said. ..... next day talking to Mom..... So, Normal and GF talked about getting married and then we went to dinner and .. Mom, back up. Details, please. Well, no, they just talked about it in front of us. You know, like "when we get married", "if we get married". She even said something about "if we have kids". But they aren't doing anything about it. (Mom's biggest worry is that he wants kids, GF doesn't. The fact that GF said "if" about kids is a big deal. She usually says "he thinks that I'm going to change my mind but I'm not". Mom wants to be here long enough to see him married, despite the fact that they've lived together for a year.) Well, Mom, look at the bright side. You said you want to live long enough to make sure that he's married and your living room gets redone. They're still saying "if" and you haven't found fabric you like to recover the couch. You still have something to live for. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 23116 Registered: 6-2001  |
You awe me. There is no other word for the bravery, compassion, and stoicism shown by the particpants of Greenetree's Mom's blog. Cyn, I hope Curt's feeling stronger and regains his pep sooner rather than later; Greenie: I hope your brother enjoys a long engagement while fulfilling Greenemom's wish; and Debby, each moment when the loss hits again, remember to acknowledge your father's ultimate gift - you - and how happy you made him and he you. SoOrLady - you've been in my prayers. I hope your family is muddling through the difficult parts and enjoying the shared memories. Though some would be scandalized, there was much laughter at my Mother's wake and after the funeral. Her humor was legendary and to abandon it on the day we wanted to celebrate her the most seemed contradictory somehow. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 3343 Registered: 9-2003 |
Bets - our neices and nephews asked my husband to put together a video to play at the wake. It was good that he had a project - he spent Monday capturing clips from old videos and scanning old photos - combining them with more current digital pics and finally adding music (Circle Game - Joni Mitchell, Wonderful World- Louis Armstrong, Put it There - Paul McCartney, Remember - Harry Nielson and finally, The End - The Beatles. There were lots of tears and laughter looking at our memories of this larger than life man. The funeral home was filled with photos of him through the years and letters & e-mails people had sent hiim over the past year. And, yes, lots of laughter. Tomorrow, I go back to work - I took two days (not to mention most of last week) - not sure how my place of employment will work this since we're only entitled to one day to morn a brother... don't really care at this point though. The last two weeks have sucked. I ache, physically, mentally, emotionally. My husband is beyond broken. Life will never be the same and yet - BIL leaves 6 adult children, 4 in-law children and 9 grandchildren.... a living legacy of a wonderous man. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 1787 Registered: 10-2003 |
not sure how my place of employment will work this since we're only entitled to one day to morn a brother If you can't laugh here....  Good luck your first day back, SOL. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2824 Registered: 9-2003 |
Oy. 1 day for a brother. Strange are the ways of HR departments. In any case, the funeral sounds like it was about as ideal as can be. So glad to hear you all came together in that way. Good luck with your personal physical and emotional recovery (you sound ready to collapse!). **** This end, randome musings: Chaperoned a group on a field trip to the Bronx Zoo today. Plenty exhausted, a blister but had a great time. Curt drove himself to chemo today, and did fine. Upstairs sleeping right now. Exhausting stuff, chemo, and he came home to yard guy noises, phone calls etc. HE PLENTY CRABBY. WANTS WHOLE WORLD QUIET. I know the feeling. SiL and nephew not coming this weekend as nephew has a bug. I'm relieved, as I am pooped! A whole other kind of diversity nobody lauds in Maplewood: The minority called Cancer People. Victims of, and close relations. Was at a lacrosse game last night and realized the Curt has cancer, another friend of kid's mom had thyroid cancer and does radiation. Another kid friend's mother had breast cancer. And there's a couple of other kids on the team with a parent so afflicted. We're all different colors. Who gives a rat's asc when the bond is the cancer thang. The thyroid cancer mom and I had some good laughs about how annoying the uplifting cards and fruit baskets are when what you REALLY need (she really needed) was someone to freakin' drive her to appointments. Her husband couldn't due to risk of losing job. Plus, she has 4 KIDS!!! She couldn't stop, so soldiered through. I told her about my post last year saying JUST COME ON OVER AND CLEAN MY BATHROOM!!!! Boy did she laugh, and so feels the same. So, here we are. Skip the diversity clubs and angst and Soapboxness. Just make a coalition of people with a Really Serious Health problem and HEY! there are no issues quite so in your face, and it's marvelously focussing. Yep, we're a regular Mod Squad. Black. Hispanic. White. Some varying political views, but mostly we HATE CANCER. Maybe bonded by that we could solve some issues. Oh, and some of us are Working mothers and some Stay at Home mothers. Some dads. Some non-traditional families. Sometimes I think the folks who spend too much time arguing concepts should help cancer patients. I'm sure my thinking is flawed and shallow, but really, cancer is a great leveller. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7881 Registered: 5-2001 |
Not shallow or flawed at all. Access to healthcare and money have an impact, true enough. But, at the end of the day, with all the money and current technology at hand, we are level. I keep thinking about how best to start something local here in the way of "helpful little things". Lots of ideas, no Aha! as of yet, tho. Mom's BF is staying over tonight to take her to her appt. tomorrow. She said "I don't know if I'll bother to get another CAT. What's the point?" I agree that it is her choice. She went and taught her class today, tho. I asked her when she is going to spend a few days at the lake. She said she just wants to be home, play in her garden, do some painting, work on her classes. Methinks she doesn't feel so good. I don't know if she's thought thru stopping treatment yet. She is empowered, tho, and that is a very good thing. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7882 Registered: 5-2001 |
I just read what I wrote. What the hell is empowered anyway? It's such a granola-crunchy word. But, then again, I have my Grape Nuts moments. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2825 Registered: 9-2003 |
Maybe we need a teeny version of Gilda's Place/House, with services? Actually, a common thread across the people I know is what healthcare doesn't cover: 1. Easy to access, cheap/free rides to chemo, radiation and doc appointments. 2. Smart, kind chaperones to doc appointments if no friend/relative can go. Esp important for the really exhausted or the less educated, or English not primary language. 3. Home cleaning/care. 4. Grocery shopping. 5. Kid driving and help when unable. 6. Record keeping and advocacy. I know a mostly people 35 - 55, who have kids and get overwhelmed with trying to maintain kids stuff in the face of all of this. And then, as you guys know, people like me where you need rides and things for the patient. I am telling you honestly as I beat the bushes on this: It is really hard/impossible to find affordable transport especially. And then a lot of people don't have the $$ for housecleaning/laundry to keep life up. You all have been marvelously supportive, but not everybody has same. A lot of people (thinking of the Thyroid lady) have relatives, but nobody near to help with rides. That's one of the costliest things. And, as I know too well, it's hard to ask for this kind of help. Really, I dug around on the rides and it's pretty sucky situation. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2827 Registered: 9-2003 |
I know what you mean about empowered. There's a bunch of those words that popular or work culture uses that, when I finally use them, too, I feel like such a sell-out dork -- even when they're appropriate. I find myself trying to come up with a synonym. Self-determined? In charge? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7888 Registered: 5-2001 |
Kicking ••• and taking names? | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2319 Registered: 5-2001 |
Today is a Jewish holiday - Shavuot - where Yizkor (a prayer of rememberance for a deceased parent) is said. It is also said at other times of the year, but it was my first occasion since my Dad died in December. They ask all the people who still have their parents to leave the sanctuary while it is said, and only those who have lost one or both of their parents remain. The formality and solemnity of it, and the haunting melody brought me right back to the funeral. I got through it ok until the end, and then my nose started running and I just totally welled up and had to leave. I wanted to go to the ladies' room, but it was right next to the chilren's service, and I didn't want my boys to see me all red in the face, so I just sort of hid in the hallway. Nobody else seemed to be crying - I guess I was the only one doing it for the first time. What's nice is that we go to a very small shul (maybe 70-80 regulars) so people were very sympathetic, and I had a few very sincere and empathetic and personal encounters with several of the congregants. I really did feel cared for. I think the Jewish conept of a full year of mourning is right on. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7913 Registered: 5-2001 |
That had to be really hard for you. I went to a dear friend's father's funeral in February. It was so difficult. I didn't go to the cemetary after; I couldn't. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2828 Registered: 9-2003 |
Debby, that sounds incredibly soulful. I'm glad to hear there were good people around you to help you out. I agree with you on the year. I went to a friend's dad's funeral within a year of my father's death. A very, very different service (my dad's was small, Methodist, in the funeral home; friend's was large, African American Baptist in a big city church) -- none the less, I found my self crying like a baby and almost felt guilty cuz I was crying for myself more than for her and her dad. I was very cathartic, though. | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1043 Registered: 10-2003 |
Debby and all, crying is good for you...no matter how long it has been since you lost your parent. It is a real release, in my book. I cannot believe that my Dad died 34 years ago today...I have lived longer without him than with him. I went to the cemetary last Wednesday when I was on my way to SOL's brother-in-law's wake and cried like a baby for my Dad who was my best friend. All these years have past and yet sometimes it seems like it was just yesterday.... My thoughts are with you all, those who are mourning the loss of someone and those who are dealing with sick loved ones.... B | ||
| Psychomom Citizen Username: Psychomom Post Number: 141 Registered: 5-2005 |
BGS You are so right! I didn't do the math until I read your posting and realized that like you I have lived more days without my dad than with him. He died 24 years ago and if you count the time he was hospitalized before he died it's even longer. I will offer prayers today for all who are grieving no matter how long it may be. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7933 Registered: 5-2001 |
I have to say that I am a much different person than I was 10 years ago. In my 20s (and to a lesser extent, my 30s) I had little use for parental guidance. I'm so glad that I've had the chance to be an adult with my parents in my life. No matter what happens, I think that the last few years (even before mom got sick) are priceless. I feel bad for Baby Bro. He's in a different place and will not have the chance to settle in to the same sort of relationship. I will at least have had my mom for half of my life and thinking about what you guys said about losing your parents makes me cherish this time even more. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 3472 Registered: 5-2001 |
As I'm spending more time recently with my parents (due to their reduced health and mobility, assisted living move, etc.) than I had since I was a teenager and last lived with them, I'm feeling many of the same things. Although neither of them has an immediately life-threatening condition, they are 85 and 87 ... I really wasn't ready to parent my parents, but that's starting to be the case and it is sobering. Hopefully we will have some more good quality times together. Following everything here makes me feel more urgent about making sure that happens. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2829 Registered: 9-2003 |
I often feel lucky that I had 2 years in my 30's when I lived with my parents. It was borne of necessity: I was divorced and wanted to buy a house. Only way to save was to move home, clear debt (2nd husband related) and save. I felt silly given how old I was (35) but it ended up quite cool. I did stuff for them in exchange for free room/board. But, I got to spend a lot of mornings drinking coffee with my dad, talking about what was on CNN and so on. Teasing him about his weak coffee and odd old man, Depression related habits.Really, really nice...And then when I moved out, every Friday I took a long lunch so I could take him to the grocery store. I miss that stuff, and I miss him a lot (he died when I was 43). | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2840 Registered: 9-2003 |
Good morning, y'all. It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring... I'm suspecting the kid's lacrosse game will be cancelled. I shouldn't be, but I'm happy. Been on the run every day/night for a week and don't know my name anymore... Curt has a f/u appointment tomorrow, having gone 2 rounds with chemo. Hopefully (dare I say it?) he'll drive himself as he did to all 3 appointments last week. Trying to have perspective, that thus far this has been easier/better than last summer. Waiting for other shoe to drop. Meanwhile, we live week to week and so far OK. He appears to have gained (both scales, home and doc) 6 lbs or so. No one knows why. Saw his gp last night when at the chiro -- says he has some supplement recommendations for him on Friday. We'll see. For now, okey-doke. Even found the kid 2 bathing suits last night at a reasonable price. She has an enviable little figure (that I never had in the 7th grade) which made it easy. Now, if I can only get myself washed/dressed and make it through another work day... | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2323 Registered: 5-2001 |
Remember "Keep on Truckin' " from the '70s? I always think of that when I read your posts. They should have assisted living for families: daily housekeeping/laundry and prepared meals whenever you want them, with the option to cook when the mood strikes. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2841 Registered: 9-2003 |
Too true, Deb. Also, "Crawlin' throught the wreckage...." !!! I sometimes watch a show on HGTV or similar called "Honey, We're Killing the Kids." Always feel slightly better after I watch those families...(bad food, often a mess, complete couch potatoes). Also, "Clean House" which makes me feel better similarly. I'm never that much of a mess. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 3350 Registered: 9-2003 |
Ah.. bathing suit shopping... was much easier in my youth.. now I wonder why I should pay so much money to look so bad.. no tan.. Irish skin turns red then goes back to white giving me that beached white whale effect. Yet we go to the beach for vacation. A last minute scramble this year to find a house in the OuterBanks that would hold all of BIL's family and some of mine - 19 adults and 9 kids. He really loved this vacation - so the tradition continues. He couldn't come last year because of the chemo schedule - I like to think that this year he'll be there. Curt's weight gain is great news. Also amazing that he's still up for driving himself. I'm sure chro's supplements will help him feel better, but you know to cross reference them with the meds he takes to make sure they won't diminish the meds strength or purpose, yes? So yes, yucky day... I've turned on every light in my office.. even in the rooms we're not using... bad, I know.. but the darkness is too, too dreary. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2848 Registered: 9-2003 |
So far, so good. End of round 2. Doc is happy. Curt drove himself to the doc for labs/check up. Weight is 119, which is 6 lb over what had been the rut he was in. A week ago it was freakishly 123 for a few days. Anyway, he's making me a fine dinner, Van Morrison is on the box. Life is okey-doke. As my old friend Gila G used to say, "We'll live and we'll see." The rain is not bothering me under the circumstances, tho the basement dehumidifier needs dumped every day! Kid gets some kinda award next Wed at middle school. Hopefully, we'll both be there. Right now, life is normal. | ||
| BGS Supporter Username: Bgs Post Number: 1058 Registered: 10-2003 |
Cyn- What a wonderful post!!!! Prayers continue........... :-) B | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 7992 Registered: 5-2001 |
And the sun is even going to be out for the weekend. Cyn, maybe you can start a tiny bit of the yard project you'd talked about. Or is that pushing it? Grilling burgers might be more fun, anyway. BTW - I have some Aveeno lotion for you. I'll have to drop it off. I took a bunch of mom's "fat" clothes (the ones that weren't too tight  ). Some of her stuff was goofy; but she actually has a lot of nice things that she wore for casual and I can use for business casual. The weird thing is that when I pass a mirror, I see her. We have (had) the same basic shape, size & mannerisms (which drives TS nuts). The good news is that I have to have nothing tailored because mom is a fanatic about things fitting correctly. Me, I just roll up the sleeves (another thing that drives TS nuts). The bad news is that something is a little off about the jacket that I'm wearing today. It finally struck me- it smells faintly of cigarette smoke. She hasn't worn this in about two years, no one has smoked in her house in a year & a half and the thing still smells. Febreeze has been of marginal help. I'm going to have to take all this stuff to the dry cleaner. | ||
| Wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 2596 Registered: 5-2001 |
cyn, greene, you guys rock. What great stuff to read on a Friday. Hope the dinner was good cyn and if not I hoped you gave Curt some pointers. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2851 Registered: 9-2003 |
The dinner was great. The kitchen was a mess (usually the case when Curt goes "gourmet." I happily cleaned it up! | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2852 Registered: 9-2003 |
greenetree, I'm strangely absent any desire to do home improvement. I know it will come again, but it's not here now -- and I have to have fire in the belly to do such things. I'm still basking in having painted etc. the living room this spring, and rearranged the furniture. This morning, I'm the improvement project as I go to get my gray hairs colored! | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2861 Registered: 9-2003 |
Hi, guys...long time no chat. The Mr. is upstairs sleeping; they gave him a shot of Benedryl as he'd had an allergic reaction to something today. Dare say I'll get details when he awakes (or by calling the doc tomorrow). Round 3 started today, and yes he drove himself to it. I'm watching, watching. He's been driving about, mostly just to the grocery or to pick up the kid which makes him feel like a person and he's been fine. Waiting and living to see if that maintains. Chemo being what it is, I'm trying to be prepared for a point when he will be too pooped to do drive. On a wholly stupid note. We are doing better than we were last time financially because he gets some disability. Still! If anyone wants to know about the high cost of medicine...well, between his co-pays ($30 a pop) and mine (I've been seeing a chiropractor), and medicine, and the kid's orthodontist, I did a little spreadsheet and have dually noted that we have already spent nearly $2,500 in bona fide medical expenses this year. And that doesn't count "medical miles" a little calculation we did at tax time (accountant). 'Bout the only good thing I can say (hope) is that (1) this treatment works, and (2) the expenditures will end up being at least the right percentage of our adjusted gross to be a deduction. I'm one of those weirdos who zones out by making little to do list/life plan things, and trying to estimate our family budget for the rest of the year and so on. Well, I've been recording all the in-flows and out-gos related to taxes consistently. Medical being a biggie.. So how about that. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 8046 Registered: 5-2001 |
Lists give me comfort, too. I know what's going on in my life. You are a lot calmer about the $$$ than I would be. I tend to freak about it. Which is probably a ridiculous way to handle an uncontrollable situation. I've been thinking about how quiet things are & the old "no news is good news" thing. Poptart Guy bought Mom a ticket to come visit over July 4th weekend. I saw his e-mail and asked her about it. I thought you didn't want to travel anymore? Well, he didn't really give me a choice. I was going to spend the weekend at the lake, but I'll have a good time once I get there. I considered calling Poptart Guy and talking to him about mom's ability to travel. Then, I decided to keep my mouth shut because she's a big girl and, who knows, she could (as usual), surprise me. I asked him how his weekend visit was. Fine. Great. She didn't get tired at all. He's taking his son to Cleveland for an Indians game in July. Since it's the day of Mom's B-day, he bought her a ticket too. He has big plans for them all to stay at a hotel the night before and go to the game. He doesn't realize that it will be impossible for her to negotiate a stadium. She isn't going to want to stay alone in a hotel room, either. They will work it out. I try not to have low expectations because that would defeat every ounce of dignity and strength she has brought to this situation. It dawns on me that I am afraid of high expectations. Between me & Poptart Guy, we probably make one emotionally normal person. This has been a busy week; TS's B-day is tomorrow and Mom has spent great mental and physical energy finding her a B-day present. A juicer just for lemons. I tried to tell her that it wasn't really necessary, but she got it in her head and that's all there is to it. Mom cooks & loves gadgets. TS cooks and loves gadgets. Greenetree doesn't cook because she hates washing the gadgets. I said to her, "Why is it that all your gifts to TS result in more dishes for me to wash?" Perhaps she will use it to make fresh Pina Coladas or some other tropical-type beverage calling for citrus. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2862 Registered: 9-2003 |
I take it you can't put such things in the dishwasher? Hadda ask...I think it's cool that your mom is buying such an appropriate present. And even strangely cool that Poptart Guy makes such plans, even if they might not work out. And then again they might. You sound a bit as though you're kinda where I am. The things you can't know, the things you can't. You just kinda chug along and hope things sort out as you go. At the moment, I'm living in 2 week cycles, which is better than day to day, but not as good as month to month. But! It's my reality. Oh, sometimes I freak about the money a bit. When commercials with healthy looking retirees sailboating, etc. come on I realize that my only preparation is paying the mortgage on this overprice house, continuing to work at a corp with a pension plan, and putting my matched % into my 401K or whatever it is. Really, that is my portfolio. And in 4 years I'll have a good $900 more a month because the car will be paid off as will the big loan I took against the afore-mentioned 401K to live last year. Which is a good thing, because in about 5 years the kid will, presumably, go to college and we do not have a college fund. Anymore. If I move back to DE in 5 years she could get in state rates, etc. and the whole pix will be financially better. I'd just have to commute 2 hr each way at least 4 days a week. Might do it. Might not. We'll see what our family looks like at that point. Plus, the kid's smart and maybe she'll get a scholarship. My kid's the kinda "bright" (she said proudly) that money didn't make, money can't buy, and all the jazzy private schools going can't generate. Top notch standardized test scores. Took the SAT this Jan and got nearly a 500 average, at 12. By 16 I'm thinking she'll do just fine when it counts. Not saying she's a baby Einstein, just cooking on all cylindars. Her little brain is sharp as a tack and always has been. Good thing as she'll need it. (sorry, couldn't help the un-PC plug for my kid). But, as I sit here I know that there's much I don't know about the future, especially with respect to how long Curt will be here. I'd like to think a good while, but that's somewhat unrealistic. I don't get depressed; mostly I just know that I can't know and try not to get nuts on it. There's still some downward mobility moves I could do if it came to it. And more than most, I guess I know that some of us just don't make it to retirement/65 so why worry? I plan and do the best I can and hope it will work out. Really nothing more I can do. | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 1559 Registered: 3-2002 |
Cynical, aT THE RISK OF BEING AN ANNOYING AZZ & SPEAKING ABOUT THAT WHICH i (OOPS) have no experience (like that ever stops most people on MOL! ;-), I'll go ahead & say that none of us knows what the future will bring - sure, things look good today (or not), but there are no guarantees. But because that's a hard way to live, most people don't think that way because nothing is forcing them. And I know plenty of people who are too afraid to even make the money in/money out list on a good day! You're amazing (as you hear frequently) & totally entitled to freak out as needed. On the kid front, (based on brief interaction), not only is she smart but also interesting (meaning enjoyable to talk with)... Greentree, I'm thinking fresh lime juice for margaritas to go with the (fresh lemon or lime juice-enhanced) guac... | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 11826 Registered: 5-2001 |
Greenie, thanks to the Americans with Disabilities Act new stadiums have to have access for all people and Jacobs Field in Cleveland is brand, spanking new. Have Pop Tart Guy check it out with the management. I hope they have fun.  | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 2863 Registered: 9-2003 |
I feel sorta silly about my "full core dump" last night. doulamomma, you are certainly right about none of us knowing the future. I think many have an idea (all things being equal) about what their future may look like -- rough outline, retirement, etc. I'm just in this place where I know how bogus that can be. For what it's worth, on a bad day I love to play Bonnie Raitt or Bette Midler or John Prine singing "Angel from Montgomer!" Or, Marianne Faithful's version of "Working Class Hero." Gets my motor started! | ||
| mjh Supporter Username: Mjh Post Number: 601 Registered: 5-2001 |
"Her little brain is sharp as a tack and always has been" Cynicalgirl: You do know where she got these fine characteristics, don't you? "My kid's the kinda "bright" (she said proudly) that money didn't make, money can't buy, and all the jazzy private schools going can't generate." Love it. What a great kid! What terrific parents!  Congratulations | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 8047 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn - I know that this is not want you want, but remember that, worst case scenario, your kid will defintitely be able to get loans to go to school. I know that the preference of most parents is to provide it. But, if you can't, she'll still get there. My B-I-L & S-I-L just didn't have the money to send their kids to college. The super-bright, over-achieving daughter got herself a combo of scholarship/loans for four years at Boston College, after which she worked for a couple years and sent herself to grad school. The bright, laid-back, not-so-much on the academics son went to state college & then joined the Air Force reserves so that he could get the specific technical training that he wanted. If they want it, they all find a way to do it. And don't get me started on those sailing, tanned, silver-haired, pearly-white toothed retirees. If they can afford to have a boat (and the veneers to have teeth that white at that age), then they started out a hell of a lot better off than we did. It's the boomer version of dangling Lindsey Lohan in our faces so that we can all aspire to be that thin. Bob - thanks for that info. Shows you how little I know about sports! I'll pass it along. I think that some of the juicer can go in the dishwasher, but there's the motor thingy. Think "cleaning the blender". But, we will test its ability to make enhanced guac and margharitas. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 8057 Registered: 5-2001 |
Gotta brag. I've been watching what I eat. I can't say it's always sensible, because chocolate still comprises a larger portion of my diet than it should, but I've been cutting back & eating more fruit. I'm down 10 pounds since January and 4 pounds in the last month. One of my cow-orkers just fumbled thru telling me that he noticed: Um, uh, don't take this the wrong way, um, I mean this very platonically, uh, uh, you've slimmed down. Turns red and recoils in fear, not knowing how I'll react Thank you! I definitely take that as a compliment. You never know in this day and age of harrassment. Although I did miss a prime opportunity to say "why, P, I never realized that you've been looking at my •••." That would have laid him out flat. |
