| Author | Message | ||
     las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 124 Registered: 10-2003 |
Not to worry Ladies: Rudy the piddling chihuahua is holding his own at 1.75 pounds! My sister says he is well endowed (I don't care, but don't know if you'll find that relevant). Hugs - las | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2102 Registered: 5-2001 |
Gee ... when I was younger, the "magic" in magic brownies was not a caloric ingredient. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2083 Registered: 9-2003 |
... then you didn't make them right...  | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1632 Registered: 9-2002 |
Dad never responded to the email, I think he got the hint. I'm really enjoying reading your stories, they remind me that most families are as dysfunctional as mine. And it is great to hear that other people deal with the sicknesses of loved ones in a humorous way instead of trying to be peppy and upbeat all of the time. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4244 Registered: 5-2001  |
Las - you know that I definitely don't find it relevent.  Sac & SO - don't know why I just thought of this, but a few years back, I was out one summer evening, sorting out the recycling. A neighbor wandered over with some brownies, the kind June Cleaver never made. What the heck and thank you very much. I had two. You should have seen my recycling. I not only sorted by color, but shape and size. I almost wept when the crew took away my work of art the next morning. Wendy - last night I almost lost it. I called granny, feeling I should since it's been a week and a half. Dontcha know that she spent 35 minutes (the whole drive home) ranting and raving about how mean my mother has been lately. Never once asked about her daughter's health. Then, she mentions that she is going to sell all of her wedding china and crystal because she doesn't use it anymore. Mind you, this is something she holds over mom's head (and has for years) because mom thinks it is important that it be passed down to one of us. I know when I'm being manipulated, but I decided to play along. "Oh, Grandmother", I plead, "Please don't do that. I'd so love if you would be kind enough to give it to me. I'll never have a chance to have anything that beautiful and I will think of you every time I use it". you f-ing bitch. So, she tells me that as long as I pack it & get it out of her apartment next weekend when I'm there, I can have it. I have my other grandmother's china, two of my brothers are married and got china as a wedding gift and one brother is left. If he doesn't want it, I'm going to sell it and give the money to mom. Or use it to buy lots and lots of fattening food for my mother. It occurs to me that I am not sure that I know anyone with a functional family. TS comes close - but all 3 of her brothers are nuts. She and her sisters are normal, tho. So, if you have an actual living, breathing, functional family, please tell us about it!  | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1635 Registered: 9-2002 |
Just save a couple of plates for you and your mom to eat fattening foods off of and then smash. My monster-in-law always talks about how lucky we will be to get her stuff when she dies. First, don't tease me about dying because your mother was 96 which means you've got another 23 years left. Second, I don't want your ••••, and you have way too much of it. You collect glass paperweights and display them on crocheted doilies for pete's sake. In fact, all three of us daughters-in-law hope that your house burns down before we have to argue over who gets the 30 music boxes or 13 revolutionary war prints. I think I need a special brownie to mellow out. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4246 Registered: 5-2001 |
Next girl's night out is at SOLady's house and she's cooking! My biggest problem with my mom's stuff is going to be figuring out what to do with my grandfather's ashes. They've been in the back of her closet since 1977. | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 1427 Registered: 2-2003  |
greeenetree, no luck on a functional family. I had my Great Aunt leave me her china and some of her vintage purses. My Uncle threw everything away saying that they weren't worth saving. I was furious, thought maybe I should decide that!! | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1818 Registered: 5-2001 |
I think it's time for greenepoppy to come out of the closet  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4248 Registered: 5-2001 |
Not yet, Debby. When mom gets mad at Granny, she opens the door and yells at him. "God Damn you for leaving me alone with her"! Although, lately, she seems to be able to channel directly at her mother, leaving out the middle man... | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2084 Registered: 9-2003 |
Greenie - ok.. but you have to bring the special ingredients. RE: ashes in the closet.. pass him around.. that's what we do with my father-in-law.. he's in an attractive box suitable for the mantle. Of course, we all like FIL. Lastly - perhaps Grand-Greene-Ma ascribes to this philosophy: "There's no reason why you can't live a completely normal life as long as you don't try to enjoy it." | ||
| Lizziecat Citizen Username: Lizziecat Post Number: 630 Registered: 5-2003 |
"Happy families are all alike. It's the unhappy ones that are interesting." Tolstoy (I think). | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4250 Registered: 5-2001 |
S.O.L. - I have no idea where to shop. [insert "wide-eyed, innocent" emoticon here]. But, I love that quote. May I borrow it? Lizzie - I would venture to say that there is a difference between happy and functional. Some of the most miserable people I know function just fine.  Mom was having a melt-down today and called me on the way home from her doctor's office. In this land of thin walls and cubicles, I'm thinking about what my coworkers heard: I'm sorry she stuck you. But it's good for my stock options. They are not trying to kill you. They don't get paid if you die. Eating an entire cow does not offset the side effects of chemo. Were you planning on licking the inside of the toilet bowl? I know it's no fun. But, it's just like the cat. Why would they bother with chemo if they wanted you to die? Why are you bothering with treatment if you are going to get this neurotic? I'm sure they've smelled worse. Well, I suggest you try not to pee on it. Eat your sandwich. BTW - thanks to Cynicalgirl and her SAHCP, mom is grooving on liverwurst on buttered toast sandwiches. [insert "that's so gross I'm going to vomit" emoticon here] | ||
| Lizziecat Citizen Username: Lizziecat Post Number: 631 Registered: 5-2003 |
In Tolstoy's day dysfunctional wasn't in the vocabulary. That's probably the word that he'd use today. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4267 Registered: 5-2001 |
I wasn't going to tell mom about the dishes, because I knew it would upset her. But, when I called grandmother last night to tell her I'd bought packing boxes (so she wouldn't sell it out from under me), she tells me that she thinks she'll sell her mahogany game table and matching chairs, too. I tell her how much my brother will enjoy it in his home, she says he can have it (if he gets it out of her apartment this weekend) and I assure her that he will. I tell her that we will be there Saturday morning at 9:30a, since he has to drive back to Chicago. We spend 10 minutes arguing about whether that's too early. She doesn't want to get up, dressed, have her breakfast & be ready at 9:30a. Now, most of you are thinking "This is your grandma. Can't she throw on a robe and offer to get you breakfast while she's making her own"? No - that's my grandmother. I tell her that Greenebro has to get on the road & I have to be back at mom's because, after all, I am there to help her after chemo and she will be very sick. Doesn't once ask about mom or acknowledge that her daughter's needs may come before her own.  Anyway, against my better judgement, I tell mom that I have to go get stuff on Saturday morning. It would be difficult to hide being gone for a couple hours, or the boxes in her garage,for that matter. I don't tell her all the gritty details (I'm not that dumb) but mom loses it. I feel very bad, because mom doesn't need this kind of stress. End result? TS was to make Mother's Day brunch at mom's house on Sunday, since mom won't feel up to going out. I was to pick grandmother up & ring her over. Mom has now banned grandmother from her house. "If she comes over, I'm staying in my room". Now, even tho this sounds like a childish temper tantrum, I can't say that I blame mom one bit. So, TS & I will spend the day with mom, maybe planting her spring garden for her. I will take grandmother to the diner for Mother's Day lunch or something. I think I may start referring to the women as "Grandmotherf-er". | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2101 Registered: 9-2003 |
Note to self: Do not read Greenetree's posts when drinking tea. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4269 Registered: 5-2001 |
Mom just called. She is opening her mail. The bills are coming in. I haven't figured out a way to have the docs, hospitals, insurance companies, etc. send me the bills and her the medical related items. So, it all goes to her house. She wants to sue the insurance companies. I tell her not to worry, that those are not the final bills, that I haven't put them through whole sysem yet. What do people do who don't know how to work the system? she wonders. Good point - I had to give her oncology nurse step by step instructions on a home health referral process yesterday. Including the phone numbers to call. "This is what they will ask. This is what you should say. This is who you need to talk to". Mom is quite in rare form today - hang over from the Grandmotherf-er conversation from last night and this morning. I'd like to post some of her thoughts. But, I am afraid it will look like this: "••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• •••• ••• ••••. Love you. 'Bye". | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4275 Registered: 5-2001 |
OK, guys. Today is the start of chemo cycle 3. Corss your fingers that she dosn't end up in the hospital afterwards, like the last two. Although, she is damned chipper when she's there. Yesterday, she even slipped and called it the "hotel" (as I have been doing). She yelled at me for all my "pet" names. She's afraid that she'll inadvertently use them to people's faces. The next door neighbor is "The Rocket Scientist"; Grandmotherf-er is "It". etc., etc. | ||
| mjc Citizen Username: Mjc Post Number: 492 Registered: 10-2004 |
Fingers crossed, greene. Hopefully they understand more about your mom now and can hit the mark this time with no surprises. Re: the bills. This was a problem for my always-responsible mom, too, but eventually even she learned to let it go, knowing that they would eventually be paid (or not) and that she couldn't use her strength thinking about them. How about giving your mom some envelopes addressed to you, and she can just chuck the bills in there and send them off? Medical insurance is truly a nightmare, esp. when someone is sick . Your mom is so fortunate to have your help. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4283 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks for the good thoughts, MJ. I've told her not to open the insurance mail. I'm just concerned that it will be some sort of medical thing that she needs to see right away. I'm going to pick up the bills this weekend, anyway. She's less concerned about getting them paid than reinforcing her view that the insurance companies are all thieves. I must say that she has a point. Especially when they base reimbursement on "usual and customary" charges that could only be "usual and customary" in a third world country. So, mom is in chemo, and sounds pretty good. She's happy that she has the port now & doesn't need a needle in her arm. To make sure she stays in a good mood, I just called her to tell her what I've done at work today so far. I told that I've typed the word "ejaculation" 27 times, erection 4 (she wants to know why the imbalance since they would seem to be related) and intercourse 12. She got very giddy and rushed me off the phone so that she could tell all her Chemo Buddies what her educated, professional, scientist daughter is doing to better humanity. |
