| Author | Message | ||
     bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 1584 Registered: 6-2001  |
Greenetree, I had a day today that can only be summed up with two words: Xanaxity now!!! Thanks for your solid today. I'm hoping it's helpful to her (I know it will be), and we both thank you. I'll let you know how it all turns out. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4514 Registered: 5-2001  |
Well, his life has been spared (or it would have been the chair for me)..... After an intervention phonecall from TS, Baby Bro has turned his attention to having mom's car detailed & cleaning out her fridge. Both fairly harmless activities. Although, since she has lost her taste for chocolate, he threw out all the chocolate in the house, including the ice cream syrup. So, next time I go visit, I'll have to buy some more for me.... Cyn - thanks for the good thoughts. She did go peacefully and without pain. | ||
| Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 1216 Registered: 1-2004  |
Greentree- I'm so sorry to hear about your beloved four footed friend. Sending my beloved friend to the Heavens back in 1991 was one of the hardest decisions I've had to make. But I know it was the right thing to do. Our four-footrf friends depend on us to make the right choices for them. I know I made the right choice. And from all you've posted, so did you. | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 1083 Registered: 6-2002  |
I'm also on the cusp of the cat decision. Found out from Levine this week that there is nothing else he can really do for my cat. She's sitting next to me now, and I'm wondering how many more days we'll have together. Not a happy time. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4520 Registered: 5-2001 |
CLK - I'm so sorry. I think that this time is rougher than the actual deed. The one thing I love about Mark is that he doesn't believe in prolonging or treating where there is no chance of recovery - he works with you to keep the baby pain free and comfortable until it's time. It's of very little comfort but I truly believe that each of our kitties have told us when. It's just something you see in their eyes. We didn't think we'd have Sunny as long as we did after her leukemia diagnosis. In fact, I had considered putting off our renovation so that her last days wouldn't be stressed with contractors and chaos. But, she fooled us all & hung around an extra year. Still, I know this is the most dreaded news. Try to remember that the important thing (and greatest act of love) is that you are prepared (no matter how hard it is) to keep your furball from suffering. Hang in there, enjoy the time & give him/her really good tuna. | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 1085 Registered: 6-2002 |
You're so sweet - thanks for those kind words. We've been through a year of this and we've had all this time to prepare, but still it is very hard. I've lived with this cat longer than anybody else in my life - 18 1/2 years - she found me in Dec. 1986. Imagine this, Reagan was president then. I was an impoverished graduate student with so little cash that I didn't even have a desk at which to study for my comps - I propped up my ironing board and used that for my desk. I had just bought my first car for $500, a nearly dead 78 Civic. I weighed about 25 lbs. less than now. Hadn't even met my husband. Moon pie got herself pregnant nearly immediately after finding me, and I watched her give birth to five perfect kittens and found homes for all of them. They were Opus, Nebula, Helios, Nova, and Spock. One of the kittens stayed with us - Nebula, who became poor Booboo, who had to be put down at age 11. Years ago, when we were all still very young, in fact I think it was on my wedding day, my brother-in-law dubbed Moonpie and Booboo the "dowager empress" and the "crown princess" - and that about sums them up. Since I met her Moon Pie and I have lived in 7 different apartments before arriving in Maplewood. I met and married my husband. We moved to Canada and back to America. I had a baby who is now a little girl. Our fortunes changed radically and for the better. I'd never have dreamed at that point in my life that I'd be doing what I'm doing now - the job category didn't even exist then. I look around my house and almost none of my posesions were in my posession in 1986. A few books, that's about it. Virtually everything has changed - except Moon pie. Heck, even she has changed, as she was silly adolescent Moon Unit then and now she is the ancient, wizened & wise Madam Moon. She's gone from starving to grossly obese to emaciated and ill. But she's been there, the most stable, unflappable, happy cat I've ever known. Not passive - never passive - but beautiful, strong, and utterly lacking in self-doubt or anxiety. A mighy huntress who has kept my home free of vermin, until she retired with dignity and grace a few years ago. I will surely miss her when she is gone. There will never be another cat like her. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4522 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh, CL! How wonderful to have someone like Moon Pie. The cat who raised me was Emry. I was 24 & with my own first apartment. She, too, saw me thru my twenties, courtship with TS, moving in together, etc., etc. When we all moved in together, TS had the cat who raised her. TS's lived to be almost 19; Emry lived to 17.5. They had to stick around & make sure we were fully grown-up. You are so right. They are all special, funny and wonderful. But the kitty who raises you from a young adult & teaches you how to be a responsible grown-up is the most amazing one. Moon Pie is probably thinking what a good job she's done of raising you & how great it has been to hang around long enough to enjoy the fruits of her labor. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 167 Registered: 10-2003 |
CLK - As I was reading your post my cat Al, who is never at a loss for the right thing to say, said: Rah. Rrrah. Peace to Moon Pie. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4541 Registered: 5-2001 |
Well, Greenemom is obviously feeling better. Yesterday, she called me quite upset. She's been very, very tired and when she went to have her blood levels checked, they told her she could use a transfusion because her levels are so low (so much for my stock options - can't they give her more Procrit?). Here is where the story gets a little muddy. According to mom, they told her that they've been sending her medical records to Hospital A, where mom has never been but is in-network for her, instead of Hospital B, which is out-of-network but where she chooses to go. She is enrolled in a gap-coverage program at Hospital B. The lab supervisor told mom that she should have told them that she is in the program at Hospital B. Mom called me on the spot. I called back and get the supervisor on the phone. "I've been expecting your call" says she, "your mom is upset, but I told her that we don't really look at insurance coverage when we are drawing blood". "Where are her labs", ask I? "Well, um, they are here. She should have told us, because if we send stuff to Hospital B without them being in the gap program, we get charged and the docs get unhappy". "Not her problem. You are talking to an older oncology patient who is seeing a million doctors and having a million procedures. She doesn't know when and where to ask about where her test results are being sent". "Well, we don't generally ask...." "Look - where are her test results? She has never been to Hospital A. Is there some random chart floating around over there without her consent? She is not going to think about asking where her test results are. You need to help her with that. Where are her results"? "Uh, they are here". "There is no chart over at Hospital A, correct"? "Correct". "OK - step two. She is going over to Hopsital B to have a transfusion in a couple hours. Where are her results? Will they have them so that she can get blood"? "Yes, we have sent for a courrier. The results will be there in two hours". "Does my mother know where she is going and who to talk to"? "Yes". "OK - just remember that she is not going to know what she is supposed to tell everyone. It would help to ask from now on". I call mom back - everything is OK, she is now calmer. We talk about getting blood being a piece of cake. I figure, how bad can it be? It's like giving blood, only backwards, right? If I'd thought about it, I would have donated some to store for her last time I was there. I call her again last night. After mega-doses of Tylenol, she is running a high fever. This is the point in her chemo cycle where her immune system is at its lowest. She's a little nervous. Then she tells me that 3 out of 4 of her friends in her support network are away next week. Mom, why didn't you tell me? I would have come in this weekend and stayed a couple days. Instead, I've booked a ticket for the day that 2 of them are coming back. Oh, I don't know. I mentioned that people were going away. Mom, you have to be more specific. Then, we discuss how her doc said to call her in the middle of the night if her fever went up. I envision her getting nervous being alone & ending up in the hospital again. I call Normal Bro; he can't go in this weekend. I figure we'll wing it. I call mom back yet again later to see how she's feeling. She sounds annoyed that I keep calling. I tell TS that I think she will be OK; she sounds like her old self. I call this morning. I, the person who has been dubbed "my rock" and "my saint"; the one who leaves meetings in the middle of the day to call doctors and nurses who are upsetting my mother; the one who handles GMF.....was told to..... "stop calling 30 times a day. You are making me nuts......"  Guess who has obviously taken control of her illness? Fine, I sniff. Just remember this when you are well and I don't call you anymore.....  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4542 Registered: 5-2001 |
CLK - how are things going? How are you doing? I was thinking about you yesterday. | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 1092 Registered: 6-2002 |
Hey - thanks! About as before. Kitty is peeing on the kitchen floor on a daily basis, sometimes with visible blood and sometimes not (she has bladder stones - surgery is the only cure - and she is way too frail because of her extreme age and hyperthyroidism to go through surgery). My husband finally lost his patience yesterday and placed a litter box under the kitchen table, which so far Moon pie is using. We ate in the dining room last night. Clearly this is not a long-term solution. I think that next week is the time, as I am going away for a few days the following week and feeling very stressed about leaving my husband to have to deal with the messes every day. He's been patient for my sake (and for moonpie's - after all, he's lived with this cat for 15 years himself). And she keeps losing weight. She is so skinny. I can't tell if she is in pain, but when I see visible blood in her pee I have to assume that this is hurting. But she won't tell us about it - she is such a stoic. This cat has the heart of a lioness, make no mistake about this. She is still incredibly agile and can jump nearly vertically onto a countertop to get at an open can of cat food, a pot roast that was recently inadvertently left unattended, etc. .... all of this makes "the decision" much, much harder. And of course she has absolutely NO trace of confusion, senility, or any emotional changes whatsoever. Unrelated but perhaps worth noting is that my trip is to Canada with my mother (age 67) and her sister (age 80) to see their brother (age 84), whom they haven't seen in over 40 years. I met him as a very small child but don't remember him - he's always lived in Canada and his wife had MS so he wasn't able to travel much. I am tremendously looking forward to this, even though my role is largely to help my mother manage her sister. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4548 Registered: 5-2001 |
That sounds kind of cool. GMF hated her whole family (they have all wronged her in some way) so we never knew them. Mom reestablished contact after I moved away, so I literally have never met anyone on my mom's side other than her aunt and two first cousins (whom I haven't seen in 30 years). RE: Moon Pie. I totally understand; it is so horrible to make the decision. OTOH, someone with such dignity would hate to be unable to walk or eat. Maybe the kitchen peeing is her way of trying to tell you something? I remember talking to Mark when it was Emry's time and telling him that I wanted to see if she would go peacefully in her sleep, at home. He told me that cats can linger a long time. I think that they are ready before we are. It kind of sounds like she's ready when you are. She's probably not in pain, but you'll know when you need to. My eyes are tearing up for you.....  Give her lots & lots of cuddles from me. And a big hug for yourself. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2176 Registered: 9-2003 |
Such a hard thing...our Shadow was 19 and ailing. I spent one afternoon telling him that I knew it was time and thanking him for all the joy he brought into our lives and letting him know how hard it was going to be to put him down but I understood he was ready to go. (Now, the fact that he would sit curled up on my lap and put up with my nonsense was a clear indicator that he was ready to go). He passed in the night... guess he was waiting for me to let go. Hang in there CLK - your kitty knows she's loved and in the end, that's the most important thing. | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 1093 Registered: 6-2002 |
I can't tell you all how much I appreciate your support. It does make the burden a little lighter. I've had to put animals down before but somehow this one is harder than all of the others, or maybe I've just put those ones out of my mind. GT, I hope that our responses on your blog are helpful to you too ... perhaps other people's cancer and ailing cat stories at least make you feel not so alone with it? Works for me, pretty sure it works for cynicalgirl and others ... so thanks ... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4551 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yeah- it does help. I was just thinking this morning that it's kind of like a little coffee shop that we've all wandered into.... I'm not even feeling so much like it's "my" blog as it is a place for similarly-minded people to share. And the potential million or so unknown lurkers out there....  So many people are going thru so many difficult things. And yet, life is still funny and aggravating and stupid and wonderful. Dave and Jaime should get some kind of community service award for giving us this place. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2177 Registered: 9-2003 |
I've got the title for your book Greenie.... Virtual Healing. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4556 Registered: 5-2001 |
I was actually seriously considering "Fun with Cancer". That way, only people who could deal with my warped sense of, well, everything, would be inclined to pick it up.  'Course, then I'd definitely have to write it under a pen name.... like "Greenetree"... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4557 Registered: 5-2001 |
In the interview thread, someone asked "who do you admire most and why"? (or something like that). I was thinking about it and decided that I would have to say my parents. I can't exactly say why: they both have their strong points and they both have ways of making me crazy. In the end, tho, I am a very happy, secure, strong, successful woman. I have a wonderful partner, a great career (whether I like it or not), a beautiful home and fabulous friends. All in all, my life is amazing. (I think I said something like this before - sorry for the redundancy). Who else can take credit for that but the folks? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4558 Registered: 5-2001 |
I don't know why this strikes me as funny, but I thought I'd share. This is an e-mail exchange between me & Baby Bro. For correct order, read from the bottom up. FROM: Baby Bro oh yeah - i knew it sounded funny -----Original Message----- From: Greenetree To: Baby Bro Subject: RE: "Disconcertingly" is correct. However, "contingency" (as in "alternative") is not. If you are trying to say "large body of people", I think that you are looking for the word "contingent". Yet, I am also not sure that this is quite right, either. A "contingent" represents a cohesive body; those who are held together by some common bond or belief. Is there a contingent of coworkers who are happy? Probably. But what of the others? I can only imagine that there are legions out there who would rejoice at such news. Perhaps, instead of trying to be so highbrow with your announcement, you should simply say "It appears that the entire world does not view this as a negative". Food for thought..... -----Original Message----- From: Baby Bro To: Greenetree Subject: do i use the word disconcertingly correct below - in terms of treating is an adverb My Voice is Gone I had to have some surgery today on my throat and fortunately I should have a quick recovery. The only negative is that I cannot talk. Let me rephrase: I cannot talk. (There appears to be a disconcertingly large contingency that does not view this as a negative). | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 1629 Registered: 6-2001 |
Thank you, Greenie. You've successfully negated (positively!) the reaction to your e-mail and then your post for Sunny (iow, laughing out loud). CLK - All I can say is that your feeling that "this one is harder" than the others relates exactly to your own acknowledgement that "time heals all wounds." It does, and it's true. I'm witness to that. Scars are another subject entirely. I'm so sorry that you have to withstand that procedure (I hate hate hate it), but you are your pet's trustee. You need to do the right thing, correctly and gently and with dignity for all. I'll go with you if you wish. You have my info, please feel free to contact me. bets |
