| Author | Message | ||
     greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4503 Registered: 5-2001  |
Las- The peonies look like they may actually bloom! I wasn't sure, since things about to bloom don't usually like to be transplanted. How are you? Haven't heard from you. Let us know, please. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 166 Registered: 10-2003 |
I hate the new place. I hate my new life. My cats are so miffed at the move even they won't sleep with me. They are so uptight with all the strange noises and they follow me everywhere, and it breaks my heart. I'd forgotten about apartment living. There are noises. The neighbor's daughter practicing her piano. That same kid running out the front door and letting it slam. I want to scream out the window for her to LIFT UP HER FEET when she runs and walks because she keeps shuffling in those silly flip-flops she wears. I see all sorts of things in the court yard - a bride holding her dog in her wedding gown; a man reading on a folding chair; a bleach blonde lady who parks her pink Buggy in the wrong spot. It's like I'm living in Rear Window, spying on these peoples' lives. But I'm not Grace Kelly. One of my cats has a hip problem - and this I discover AFTER I move into a year's lease in a duplex apartment. Poor thing is thumping up those stairs, afraid to be left alone if I should go to the bathroom, so I've been carrying her up and down to save her the pain. Verizon now says it will take an additional two weeks to hook up my DSL, so I am completely disconnected in that place until June 2. They offered me a dial-up connection, but I think that would be too frustrating. I don't know what I was thinking, but I was so out of sorts before I left the house, and I thought my life would progress once I got out. I was way off base. Moving was the worst thing I could have done because I'm not ready to move on -it's only been eight weeks. I liked my old life. A lot. Now we are under contract to sell the house and there is no turning back. I hate my former husband all over again for stealing my world from me. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4507 Registered: 5-2001 |
I am so sorry - but, I am sure that the cats will adjust. They always do. Even the one with the hip problem - I'll bet it's less pain than adjustment issues. Your life will progress; you need to be kind and generous enough to yourself to take the time to let it happen. It's one of those sucky things that goes at its own pace. I am sure that seeing the kitties stressed out is stressing you out more; I know it would me. Be assured that they will come back to bed. Turning back is never good anyway; you will move forward. Just not today. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 966 Registered: 8-2003  |
oh Las...I am sorry it's not quite the new adventure you had hoped.... hang in there...... you can do this. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 7068 Registered: 1-2003  |
You'll think of something. Maybe this sucky place will help you decide. Sorry I missed you. I stopped by your house a few times, and you weren't there whenever I stopped by. | ||
| Meandtheboys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 985 Registered: 12-2004  |
Las, being in a new place is never easy, for us or the kitties. I remember when I moved to my house, a move I was so excited about and looking forward to. The first few months it was so hard, I was so out of sorts (as were my kitties). But once you settle in and the place starts to feel more like a home, I'm sure you'll feel better. You may even find you like the sounds of your new neighbor's daughter. You obviously love kids, and you enjoy the piano. Give yourself (and the kitties) plenty of time to adjust and settle in. Change is hard even under the best of circumstances. Yours was such an awful situation, and the decision to move was not entirely your choice. Be nice to las, she deserves it. | ||
| Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 1215 Registered: 1-2004  |
Las Sending you some hugs...  | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 168 Registered: 10-2003 |
Pippi, I haven't killed your house plant yet. My cat Ernie has been nibbling at it a bit, but other than a few puncture marks, it's enjoying our new flat. Greentree, you do know. You have to keep moving forward. Thanks for the reminder. Tom - I'm sure we'll connect at some point. But please, if anyone at the block party asks, make sure they know HE ran away from home, and I had nothing to do with it. Meand - Thank you for always posting here. Your words are like hugs. And speaking of hugs, JTA: Ahhhh. I needed that. Here's one right back at you for the paperless hospice situation you've had to endure on this three day weekend. ________________________________________________________ It's a three day weekend and I'm booking myself up but there's still so much time I have free and I realize with fear that I'm no longer whole that my body is merely a shell. I spend most of my time obsessing and fearing and doing the things I can do with repetetive motion again and again for the things I can do I control. I control all the furballs that tumble around and the clumps in the boxes cats leave and the spots from the water in the kitchen sink and the stray hairs that fall from my head - these are the things that I see and I fix for I have the power to do so. I don't have the power to save my marriage or to live in the house that I miss, and I don't have the power to focus my brain on reading a book at this time. But the small tasks I manage just one by one and before I know it I do it again and although I don't set out to empower myself, I know these tasks are the baby steps that one day will lead to my heal. But for now I dote on my three little cats who don't yet spend full nights on my bed like they did in our old life together, but they follow my steps everywhere that I go and they tell me cat things and show me their love and promise they will never walk out on me or the love that I share. Like I said earlier my body's a shell, the pain's not so bad for there's nothing inside. I still can't believe this is my life. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 7135 Registered: 1-2003 |
LAS, this is your increased consciousness that results from your sudden and drastic change of situation. It's like losing a sense or driving on the wrong side of the road. There are benefits to this increased consciousness. You will find what they are in time. I remember when I was 20, I had quit college, gave up my job and apartment and took all my money and my bicycle to Europe. I travelled for three months, until my money ran out. I remember being out on the road in the countryside, being all alone, and I said to myself outloud, several times a day, "I am alone." And it was both pleasurable and painful at the same time. And it was both true and false. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 169 Registered: 10-2003 |
Tom, I'm starting to understand you more. Thank you. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 976 Registered: 8-2003 |
Remind Ernie that Notehead saved his life, he should stop nibbling. we'll be happy to bring him real cat treats. The plant is yours! glad it's thriving...I think it's a metaphor... | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 7195 Registered: 1-2003 |
A weird thing happened. My lawyer just emailed me, thanking me for the advice I posted here, listing him as a good lawyer. He said that as a result of this, your husband contacted him. Not sure if your husband is currently using my lawyer, however. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 171 Registered: 10-2003 |
He is, Tom (or at leaset he gave me your atty's name). Oddly, when we saw a therapist after he left I mentioned I posted online, asked if he saw it, and he said he skipped it because he didn't want to read a thread bashing him (I told him it wasn't about him). I guess he read it after all, proving yet again what a great source of many things MOL can be. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 7196 Registered: 1-2003 |
Odd, but OK, I guess. I saw a few lawyers, and the first one I hired told me he would use whatever strategy his clients asked him to use. He told me some clients want him to stick a knife up their opponent's derrière and twist it, so he does so. However, I believe Richard Goldsmith is different and would not do that on any client's request. So that is good news for you. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 174 Registered: 10-2003 |
A few years ago I was sick and in bed and dear Mim sent over some rose catalogues and I read them from boredom but didn’t quite get them so I put them aside for some other time then I pulled them out after seeing her blooms and I tried to get what she meant when she used three names to describe one rose and went on about flushes and singles and such and I didn’t quite fathom the big silly deal of one bloom for which she’d write me a long emails. It took quite a while but I finally got it and voraciously began my research. Reading catalogues and books in every spare moment but viewing photos only in natural light and cross referencing descriptions from six different growers and reviews from rosarians all over the web, and finally narrowing down the choices from many to just a few. And I planted my roses, those painfully beautiful heirloom roses, with love and prayers and blessings and hope that they would forgive the shipping and journey and take root in my garden and grow. And when my heart fell for the Duchesse de Brabant, my soul mate in the entire rose world, she was not quite hardy for our special zone, and didn’t make it through the winter and the grower couldn’t fathom why she was shipped and despite my pleas refused to ship her again. This year, although the house is still mine, it’s under contract to be sold and I live somewhere else and I’ve said my good-byes, but I was passing by and saw the roses and I had to get out and look. They are phenomenal. They are now what I have been working for all this time. This is Dr. Eckler’s first year in bloom and his flowers are so beautiful I cried – I just had no idea how exquisite he would be. And right next to him is Marinette who thanks to prior years of pruning and training now has so many buds it might very well be illegal. Any moment now she is going to explode into pure rose heaven, her pale pink hybrid teas will be seen all over Maplewood. But it’s not my house and it’s not my garden and it wouldn’t be healthy for me to stop by. So I am thinking and wondering and realizing I’m not quite in the place I had hoped I would be and when I’m not happy I can’t just sit back and appreciate what I have now, I have to look elsewhere and find where I’m going and have a sense of what will be. Whatever it is and wherever I go I know I will use the zone hardiness map and determine if my roses can grow there, then so can I. So, I am looking. And since this afternoon, I have been hating him for yet another reason – not because he left me; not because he made me leave my house; but because he took my beautiful heirloom roses that I love so much. | ||
| doulamomma Citizen Username: Doulamomma Post Number: 426 Registered: 3-2002 |
I know it's not the same at all, but I think you should buy yourself some cut roses each week and smell and admire them. Yes - it's an expense, but might bring some joy - treat yourself! | ||
| Meandtheboys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 1041 Registered: 12-2004 |
I just happened to be on Plymouth today, and was curious to know about your house. And yes, it is an adorable house, and, again, I'm so sorry you had to leave it. And yes, your roses are spectacular. I'm very impressed. I don't think I'd ever be able to manage that. If you're really feeling a need to plant, your welcome to my yard. It could use a touch like yours. Some day you'll plant your roses again, and they'll be even better because of what you learned from these! | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 2144 Registered: 2-2003  |
las doulamomma has a great idea!! There is a great place in the Drug Fair shopping center that sells 2 dozen roses for 9.99. It closed down for awhile, but I think it re-opened. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 7389 Registered: 1-2003 |
Come to think of it, when I was divorced and sad and lonely, I bought flowers for myself every week, and I never thought of myself as a flower person before that. So yeah, I "third" that suggestion. | ||
| mjc Citizen Username: Mjc Post Number: 646 Registered: 10-2004 |
Me too, $1.50 every payday for 3 carnations. Hadn't thought about that in a while. Other than that, pretty much every penny was going straight out the door for bills for a while there. las, if flowers are what you love, you will find a way and how's it going with the visitor cat? |
