| Author | Message | ||
     greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4792 Registered: 5-2001  |
Since the closing remark of my last post was dotted out, let me tell you that it was an anatomical reference. Or a big pit that donkeys fall into. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4793 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh, I forgot to mention that I had my 6-month review this week (it is also my 1 year anniversary on this job). My boss wrote "Greenetree has done a great job considering that she has been dealing with a major family illness. She has kept up with all her projects, calls in for conference calls and checks e-mail everyday even when out of the office". It occured to me to share this with you because I have been working on a report that usually takes 20 minutes all day. I keep making phone calls, etc. Like, where do I find a TPN supplier? And, can you make sure to add going up & down stairs with an IV pole to mom's PT? Thank god it's only Thursday; that gives me one more day to get all the work done I haven't done this week. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5897 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby: How did things go today? I hope everything is at least as good as the best which can be expected. Greenetree: It sounds as if you are fortunate enough to be in a supportive atmosphere at work. I think your supervisor understands at least some of what you are going through and appreciates the effort you are making to keep up with job demands at the same time. | ||
| Jack Straw Supporter Username: Strawberry Post Number: 5327 Registered: 10-2001 |
Debby and I were neighbors when she lived in Maplewood. Thanks to me she moved to Boca, made a killing on her Maplewood house and bought before the Boca boom. In other words, she's made a killing there as well and I take all the credit!  You can say I've brought Debby some good luck over the years. That's why I'm thinking about her Father right now, a very nice man and hoping all goes well. Her family needs him. It was nice seeing such a close family and during times like this it's nice knowing a close family is doing what they do best...supporting one another. | ||
| Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 1738 Registered: 1-2004  |
Cyn- I have a lot of free time the first week of August. I could help you out getting your husband to his appointments. I've been around sick people most of my life; so I wouldn't be uncomfortable around someone who's sick... | ||
| Spare_o Supporter Username: Spare_o Post Number: 273 Registered: 9-2003 |
Greenie--Maybe your mom's doctor has plans for the weekend and won't get around to discharging her until Monday. Aetna will have a hard time denying that unless they insist she leave AMA with her IV pole in tow! | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5899 Registered: 5-2001 |
Spare-O: Sounds like the plan is to send Greentree's mom home with the IV pole in tow. This is one of the reasons why Greenetree posted she was so opposed to her mom being discharged at this time. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4799 Registered: 5-2001 |
Joan is correct. I have to wrap up the three days worth of work that I haven't done within the next hour, so I can't give too many details. Suffice it to say that a lot happened today. The Medical Director for Aetna Midwest called me this morning to say that of course discharging on a weekend was unreasonable and that of course they will delay until Monday. Then mom had a GI appointment; we got more info. She is still attached to the pole and we are going to keep her at the facility until Tuesday when she goes back to the GI doc. All the docs are gone for the day, but mom is drinking milkshakes & she and I just had a long talk. We are hoping to do chemo next week. Hopefully, they will be able to taper her to the point where she only has to be hooked up at night. She can go home, but TPN is very complicated and she just can't be unplugged to go to the doctor. That's why we are letting her stay until she goes to the doctor next week. BTW - if you ever have to go on TPN, please let me know. It's pretty complicated & I now have it down to a science; I can explain it to anyone. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1890 Registered: 5-2001 |
Finally checking in. The surgery was a total success - none of the scary things they warned us about happened - no transfusions, no stroke, no anesthesia probs, got extubated right away. He was on the table for about 7 hours. It is, in fact, pancreatic cancer - about golf ball sized. They got the whole thing out (supposedly), and the preliminary pathology reports said negative margins. We'll have more info in about 5 days. When we saw him in the recovery room he was high as a kite. I thought he was just grateful to be alive, but my sister-in-law, the psychologist said -"Whoa - Saul on Ecstacy!" He wouldn't let go of the anesthesiologist's hand, and kept telling him he was "UNBELIEVABLE!" He also told the nurse she was "delicious". The next morning (Friday) he wasn't so happy. When the pain is under control he's pretty with it, but when the pain (and then the morphine)kick in he's in sorry shape. This morning the nurse said "We're going to try to walk a little bit today". Took a minute to get out of the chair and get going, but he walked the entire circumference of the ward! Afterwards, all the movement got his GI system waking up (which is the key to recovery), but he had bad hiccups and he was shuddering in pain. The poor guy has an incision that runs the whole width of his diaphragm. They had to give him morphine, which makes him pretty weird. This evening, he got transferred to a regular surg room from the step-down unit (he was never in the ICU). From a medical standpoint, he is doing miraculously well. Please God, let him get his mind back. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1891 Registered: 5-2001 |
So, thanks to all of you for your support and kindness and inquiries. It has meant a lot during a really scary time. And to Straw, a special thank you. Very cool. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2382 Registered: 9-2003 |
Debby - what great news! Your upbeat report gives all of us some hope for our own loved ones... Thank YOU for taking the time to post. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1892 Registered: 5-2001 |
SOL - happy to be able to post good things. I hope you will have good news about your BIL soon, as well. Prayers, prayers, prayers. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2044 Registered: 6-2001  |
Debby - I'm so glad to hear this news. Mazel tov! I saw Straw, Algebra, and Algestraw at Bunny's last night and I told him I appreciated his comment here. We were thinking of and pulling for you & your family. Positive news is an excellent vibe here. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1577 Registered: 9-2003  |
That's great news, Debby. Yep, they like to get 'em up asap to aid healing and digestion, especiacially given pain meds (which can slow digestion). So happy to hear it went so well! That scare will fade some. It's a hallmark of having had that kinda surgery (broad, chevron shaped thing). So happy for you! | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1893 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks, Cyn - You're typo was very apropos (the scare will fade) - I thought you were talking about his mental status. Haven't spoken to Mom yet this morning. Hope he had a decent night, but am afraid to ask. He was very disoriented and angry the previous night. Needed Haldol - had no recollection of it in the AM. One day at a time. Thanks, bets. Speaking of Algestraw (love that) I was thinking about him the other day and wondering how he's handling David S.' death. Hope he feels safe. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5911 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby: Wonderful news. I'm glad the surgery went so well. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1578 Registered: 9-2003 |
Yep, I think you're right, Debby! Now they'll be watching the heck out of return of digestive processes (bowel sounds, output). And, if he's on drip morphine or similar, how much of it he uses. 'magine he's on IV nutrition for awhile. This end, tomorrow is (1) results of PET, (2) lab, (3) doc, first big chemo drip. Apprehensive, but cleaning closets...and dumb stuff. This rainy humidity doesn't help, but momma and poppa cardinal have been visiting the backyard a lot. Supposedly signs of good luck, and I'm willing to believe. | ||
| Just The Aunt Supporter Username: Auntof13 Post Number: 1771 Registered: 1-2004 |
Debby- Glad to hear things went well. Thanks for letting us know. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2383 Registered: 9-2003 |
We are the keepers (and the calmers) of my mother-in-law. She lives a block away from us so we are the “logical” choice for caretakers. At 88, she is a very needy person. Her husband died in 2001, she has never driven and although she has lived here for over 30 years, she has never made a friend in this area. Strangers find her charming – until they get to know her, then they don’t do well with her neediness and slowly back away. But – she is my husband’s mother and, in their growing-up years, a wonderful grandmother to her 14 grandchildren. Her family has always been her world, but, as we grew and our children married, moved and had children of their own, her world seems to have been made smaller. Priorities of their daily lives very often do not and, in many cases, can not include her. So she waits… for us mostly. When the phone rang at 9 p.m. on Friday she was in tears. Apparently, after waiting all day to hear about her son’s needle biopsy in NY – what she heard from his wife was that she needed to prepare herself to lose her oldest child. We still don’t know what was actually said, but this is what she heard nonetheless. We assured her as best we could that no one has any definitive results yet… yet… yet….yet. The next day, we determined that the conversation was born out of a grueling day in NY and frustration that son #2 has not bothered yet to go and visit his brother. The frustration later turned to anger by son #2’s doom and gloom e-mail to son #1s children. To say he has been able to detach himself from this whole ordeal is an understatement. So, we took mom to breakfast on Saturday, then to visit with son #3, while we spent some time with our daughter,grandchild and some of son #1’s children & grandchildren at an outdoor fundraiser for cancer care. Sunday, we vegged and took her to an early dinner. There are days I really resent being the responsible one. My husband is the compassionate, patient, thoughtful one.. I’m just along for the ride. End of rant for the day. Debby - hope things are still progressing well Cynical - may you have some good news and many red birds in your yard! Greenetree - hope this week is more peaceful than last. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4802 Registered: 5-2001 |
SOL- We have the exact same issues. GMF has settled down to the point (almost) where she is just needy, needy, needy. One could give her that, given the illness of her only child, but I just don't have the energy. I can't be the one. When I call her every few days and she ends each conversation with "when will you call me again"? I mumble and hang up. Today is horrible. Mom's going home. She's not. Her liver is not functioning. She can't eat. She can get pudding down. She's yelling at me, because I am an easy target. I am staying calm, but the discharge/non-discharge plan has changed 4 times since 8am. The aide who was going to stay with her this week's husband is in the hospital. Everyone expects her to go home: rehab has rehabed her, she doesn't need acute care, she can't do stairs or be unhooked from her TPN and is refusing to allow us to put a hospital bed in her living room. Someone just came over to me with one of those "oh the budget is due today and we forgot about this study can you give us figures by 5p" issues. I laughed. I said "no". I have one other thing that has to go out the door today and your thing isn't it. Normal Bro and I were talking about the situation. The number one mistake we made was giving mom the choice of where to pursue treatment. If anyone ever asked me about their pwn parent, I would say move them closer to family. This is all coming down to the fact that there is no one there to help her and she has about $400-$500 daily needs that aren't covered by any type of insurance. I may be taking unpaid FMLA & heading out. But, then againg. I may not. Ask me again in an hour. And an hour after that.... I have a really, really bad headache. Superdaughter is at the end of her rope. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4804 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oooooooookay. Didn't see this coming. More tests tomorrow. The liver may be another tumor. Or not. This is the first time I've heard the "h" word used. I leave in the morning. | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 2567 Registered: 2-2003  |
Oh greenetree, I am so sorry. You and your mom are in my thoughts..... | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2054 Registered: 6-2001 |
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| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2386 Registered: 9-2003 |
Greenetree - that just sucks.. or blows.. either one. Safe trip - keep us posted. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1590 Registered: 9-2003 |
greenetree, I'm sorry to hear that. The up and down, to and fro of news, etc. must be taking a hard toll on you. Strength and chocolate wishes to you. I'll hope for the best on this. Hope your trip out is OK. SoOrLady: Good wishes to you in your "along for the ride..." It's hard to be needed. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5914 Registered: 5-2001 |
Greenetree: Have a safe trip. Difficult as it must seem, try to save a little time/energy for yourself, even if it is just a few stolen moments now and then. You, your mom, and the rest of your family are in my prayers. Given your mom's overall health and mobility issues, is hospice care a possibility if/when your mom is well enough to come home? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4805 Registered: 5-2001 |
Joan- unfortunately, that's the "h" word I've been dreading. Hospice in her area is resticted to < 6 months expectancy. Her oncologist wasn't thinking we were there yet when we talked a couple weeks ago. I guess we'll know more after all the tests. | ||
| algebra2 Supporter Username: Algebra2 Post Number: 3706 Registered: 5-2001  |
Oh Greeney -- I am so sorry. You are a really good daughter. I gotta admit, I don't know if I am half the daughter you are! | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5917 Registered: 5-2001 |
Greenetree: I'm so sorry for even using that word. I had no idea about the limitation placed on hospice care in your mother's area. Obviously, it is much too soon to be thinking like that. Keep the spirits up (as much as you can) and let us know how the tests turn out. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4806 Registered: 5-2001 |
Alg - I wish I was half the daughter I am. Well, maybe 80%.....  | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1592 Registered: 9-2003 |
greenetree, your very humility means that your are like 10x as good as you think you are. And that's that. *** Guys, if anyone is up for driving Curt to Overlook Hospital this Wed, July 20, for a 10:20 appointment, please speak. Looks to me like the time committment would be about 9:45 to 11:15 all in (depending on how you drive). It's a 1/2 hr appointment to take the port's pump thingy off (he wears a man purse/murse sort of a deal while this jazz runs through him). I've not gotten big-time into the schedule yet as all of this is a tad tentative. I did today, and tomorrow and next Monday but am lookin' for a reliable adult while I get my Total Life Plan together (heh). Kid's in Delaware, cow's in the corn. Where's the little boy who looks after the sheep? He's in the Lazy Boy, fast asleep... | ||
| algebra2 Supporter Username: Algebra2 Post Number: 3707 Registered: 5-2001 |
Teri ... Reliable adult? Hmmm? I sent you an email to your work address. I am around this Wednesday (on vacation). | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1593 Registered: 9-2003 |
Thanks so much, algebra. I wrote you back with particulars. Really appreciate your help. | ||
| mjh Supporter Username: Mjh Post Number: 157 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cynicalgirl; I'm sorry........I just read your PL this morning (otherwise I'd have called you last night). I'm glad Algebra can do it.........I could have done it too, so don't hesitate to ask again. Mary Jo | ||
| algebra2 Supporter Username: Algebra2 Post Number: 3709 Registered: 5-2001 |
greeney -- I think you're away -- but if not ... Friday night??? | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1894 Registered: 5-2001 |
greeney - so sorry about this turn for your mother (and for you). Thinking and praying for you. Yesterday I dared to feel encouraged and actually talk about it. They removed the catheter and let him eat for the first time. They started talking about transfer to a rehab facility, and gave some some very good options. All good news, no? This morning he had some sort of a convulsing episode and wound up back on the unit. The surgeon reviewed his chart and said he was over-medicated and reamed everyone and said nothing to be given without his express permission. The catheter was put back. Also, got back the final pathology report, and 1 lymph node was cancerous. Two steps forward, three steps back. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 5922 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby: It will be like that for a while: good news and bad news morphing into each other until finally some balance is reached. Hopefully the balance will be very much on the positive side. My mother also had convulsions when she was in the hospital. They were so bad and lasted for so long that we thought she had become epileptic but it turned out that she was having anxiety attacks. Could that be the situation with your dad? | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1596 Registered: 9-2003 |
Debby, that's really good and fast. The surgeon should be the boss on this, and good he reamed people. They'll probably be happy if the bad lymph node was the one closest to the tumor. They usually take out like the 15-16 lymph nodes nearest the pancreas, etc. with a Whipple, and look at 'em. That's SOP. Just for s&g's, ask the surgeon or oncologist what tests they will do to insure that they've done the whole job, and there's no little doobers hanging out somewhere. Ask if they're going to do a PET scan, or what. As in, what makes them sure they've done their job. This, in a way, is a lesson learned for me from my husband's. They were happy that just one lymph node was bad. They scheduled follow-up chemo, just because. I think, now, they should've done a PET for somewhat more accuracy. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1895 Registered: 5-2001 |
Joan - the anxiety is an interesting thought. It may not have been a true convulsion. Turns out he has some kind of infection and is running a fever. Back on IV antibiotics. Cyn - I'm afraid to know if there's anything else hanging out there. I certainly wouldn't want him going through surgery again. They also scanned the brain following these episodes. Haven't heard results yet. Hope it isn't another pile of good news. I was planning to go down tomorrow to spend a few days with them, but I've developed a cough = so I need to ask the camp doc if it's OK. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1597 Registered: 9-2003 |
There probably isn't anything else! But, is he likely to have some f/u chemo? They often do. Forget the phrase -- adjuvenant? -- anyway, the idear is make sure there's nothing too small to be spotted by CEA levels or CAT scans. So, often they recommend some chemo and/or PET just to be quite sure. Don't sweat -- believe me, better to be sure and nab the buggers early. They may make you wear a mask when you see him, but that ain't the end of the world. I'm sure this will all come out OK. |
