| Author | Message | ||
     las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 284 Registered: 10-2003 |
Greenie, Cyn, Debby: I've got the new's you've all been waiting for! Rudy the piddling chihuahua (yes, he's still around) is expected to break 4 pounds by autumn! He weighed in at 3.8 this afternoon. (Sadly, his older brother Hector the barking chihuahua broke 12 pounds and is now on an exceptionally restrictive diet.) Hugs to you all. I'm wishing all the negative energy away from you and towards my former husband. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1905 Registered: 5-2001 |
 does he like egg foo young? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4867 Registered: 5-2001  |
I was embarrassed to admit this publicly, but TS took The Monster to see Dr. Levine last week. He's been having trouble with his lower GI tract and has, um, well.... Let's just say that we'd had to change the sheets on our bed 3 nights running. Turns out that he is too fat to clean himself. Yes, folks, Kitty DYFS has been called. We've let him become Morbidly Obese. Our friend has nick-named him "Orson Wells". We have new rituals in the house. 1/3 C scoop Atkins-style kitty food twice a day & we clean his little hieny with baby wipes after he uses the box. So much for being able to leave out the bowl of crunchies. Gracie is too big, as well, but he was eating all the food, so she isn't Morbid. Well, at least she can clean her own •••. He has lost .6 ounces this week. 5.25 pounds to go. But, if we can get a vet to do the surgery, The Monster would gladly donate fat to Rudy. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2175 Registered: 6-2001  |
Wow. I can't picture GDAN as huge. how much does he actually weigh? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4871 Registered: 5-2001 |
19.8  Picture a ping-pong ball perched on top of a soccer ball. With a tail. Poor baby; looks nothing like the guy in the pic under my name. We've had to change his name to GDADETAI* because he's too fat to actually do anything bad. *Goddamn it Ashby, don't even think about it | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2178 Registered: 6-2001 |
Yikes! That is big. Are you sure TS isn't sneaking him some gourmet treats while you're not looking?  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4877 Registered: 5-2001 |
Bets- I know she was. "Oh, just a little treat", she'd say. Pissed me off to no end. I'm glad that she took him to the vet & heard it straight from him. I think if I'd done it & relayed the message, she would have thought I was exaggerating. So, mom saw the oncologist at 10:45. I tried to get him to call me before he saw her, but he didn't come in until 10:30, so I didn't get to talk to him. She has her cell phone turned off. I really want to know what the CAT results were. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2180 Registered: 6-2001 |
Argh. You must be on pins & needles. I'm sending every positive vibe possible toward Ohio. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4882 Registered: 5-2001 |
Haven't talked to my mom or her doc. Talked to her best friend. I suspect mom is severely depressed because a little birdie told me she didn't get out of bed or eat until 5p yesterday & she wasn't sick. The ER doc told her he saw something on her CAT scan (insert disallowed prejorative here) but that it might just be scar tissue. According to BF, the tumor has grown the tiniest bit. They want to do two more rounds of chemo, change chemo agents & then another CAT scan. The same little birdie told me that she's sitting around the house. Not even walking to the mail box. She won't get stronger this way. I've instructed the person who's been helping her out to stop bringing in the mail & to offer mom a ride to the grocery store or post office instead of doing it for her. I will become the Big Bad Monster. But, she's already rejected any counseling or form of emotional support. She needs te be strong mentally and physically if she has any chance of beating this thing. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4883 Registered: 5-2001 |
Ya know.... I can only handle so much stress. My boss just farted in my office.  | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1083 Registered: 8-2003  |
eeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwwww! | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1637 Registered: 9-2003  |
greenetree, similar with my husband at times. Hard to know when to be the bad guy and kick them in the butt, v kicking a sick person who really can't. For me, last week I gave my kid a daily chore list (money attached). I happen to know that he helped her with all of that. Mind you, he can be pretty lazy about this stuff ordinarily, so it's hard to know which is talking, disposition or illness. I do push it, though, for him and for me. I do find that if I cry, or lose it, he does rise up and do some things. Otherwise, it's all me, baby (and I'm tired). Good idea to tell people not to do for her what she can do herself. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4885 Registered: 5-2001 |
'scuse me. I need to whine. I'm exhausted. My brain hurts. My boss & I had one of those little chats yesterday where she basically told me that, since there is a hiring freeze, I won't get the person I've been promised & we won't be replacing someone who just left. So, I have to keep doing what I'm doing, take on two of the former person's projects and "help her raise the visibility of our group by getting 2 major tasks done by next Tuesday" and, oh, this thing that she put on my desk one hour ago takes priority. What is this thing? It's an update of a report that a consultant in the UK did last year. Why am I doing it? Because it was 8-friggin-pm in the UK when this came up & it can't wait until tomorrow. Which would be fine if it weren't a 12 page analysis of current intruments used to measure social functioning in XXX therapeutic area. Is she kidding? The doctor hasn't called me back. My mother sounds sick as a dog and is throwing up again and I can't figure out if it's all in her head or she has something. This is how she was when she went to the ER on Monday and she was fine when she saw the doctor this morning. The one who hasn't called me back. I have not had a single, solitary day off that was not consumed by this •••••••• since Presidents Day, when we went to the Cape for a lovely 4 day weekend. I have not had a vacation since we went to the Cape in July 2004. I did take the week between Xmas and New Years off, but since we had Xmas at our house, and I was dealing with contractor coming back to not fix his earlier mistakes, I can hardly consider that relaxing. We're having company for dinner tonight & I'm so tired that I'm not even sure I can make the 30 mile drive home. I really, really need to slap the living •••• out of someone right now. Thanky. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1084 Registered: 8-2003 |
I'd rather give you a hug. But if you'd prefer to slap me, go ahead. You can complain and whine all you want - you are certainly due that much ... | ||
| Dave Supporter Username: Dave Post Number: 7041 Registered: 4-1997  |
This might help http://www.goyk.com/flash.asp?path=461 If not, stop by Bunny's Friday at around 7pm so I can buy a round for you and TS. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4888 Registered: 5-2001 |
Mmmm- big hugs and toasts to you all. Dave, we'll be at my brothers. But, we'll rain check for sure! Pip - thank you for the lovely offer, but it's no fun slapping someone who doesn't deserve it!  | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1639 Registered: 9-2003 |
Wish you weren't going out to dinner, greenetree, as I'd like to co-sponsor a pity party for us and get a bit smashed. Got similar stuff at work. The thing about most bosses is that, well, they're bosses. They pay some attention to your personal lot; mine always asks "How's Curt?" right before telling me to get the budget in and find out why the IT people think they need to spend like $9 million bucks when they're half-asced spreadsheets account for mebbe $4, and they insist there's no rational way to allocate the data center costs, and no one there appears to have even basic checking account experience, and they can't explain anything, and you're well passed wanting to maintain a veneer of civility with AV boys gone IT that you wouldn't even have loaned a pencil to in 9th grade who strangely make more money than you and go out to lunch most days while you eat at your desk (carefully) because you need to make up time to compensate for time you took to drive your husband to the hospital and wedged in buying your kid a horse computer game because, hey! she's really bored and has a right to be a kid but you really wish she wouldn't right now cuz all you wanna do is lie on the big bed in the cold room and read the Jennifer Anniston article in Vanity Fair if only you could find in the news stand but you can't so instead you're rereading an Agatha Christie because you didn't get to the damned library and now it's not open on Saturdays but that's ok because you'll be mowing the lawn and doing the laundry and paying bills in really interesting ways while your significant other sits in a recliner looking not unlike a cross between an Auschwitz guy and Charlie Manson but hey! he's still making jokes and downing Boost so maybe it will come out OK if you would just be patient enough but it's hard to have patience when you didn't get enough sleep and, well, you're really just kinda tired and not feeling terribly grateful or "blessed" but really sort of like I can't go on/I'll go on and you are, afterall, still laughing so it can't be all bad, really, and you've been through worse like when you didn't think he'd make it to this his 55th birthday but he did and maybe there'll be more and you will again plan a party but right now you'd really just like to tie one on and tell everyone to take a leap and go away except someone who's maybe as sorta miserable as you for good reasons so you share a virtual smoke and a dark laugh at just about everything except maybe true love which I hear conquers all even this ••••. Just had to get that off my chest! | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1906 Registered: 5-2001 |
But does your boss fart in your office? Greene - sending you a virtual joint. Supossedly Dad is getting transferred to Rehab tonight. I was thrilled to hear the news, but am still awaiting confirmation that it actually happened. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2430 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn - now you've worn me out, too ... so for just a few seconds I shared your fatigue. I'm sending out good wishes and hopes for near-term improvements in your lousy situation - work and home. Let me know if Cyndaughter or spouse needs a ride somewhere in the next 2 weeks. I'm mostly around and available ... away late August. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4893 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn- I'm so sorry that I abandoned you. Seriously, you must come for dinner one night. We'll talk. So, mom & I had a fight last night. I made her cry. I felt bad, but I think the stress is getting to everyone. This was supposed to be over a month ago. She wasn't supposed to have all these complications. She was supposed to be visiting her grandkids right now, recuperating from treatment. Several people who have been helping her told me that she's been really difficult and stubborn. Understandable. But, I tried to tell her to be a little nicer and sensitive to those who are there for her 24/7. We're all exhausted, frustrated, worn out. I guess I should have kept my mouth shut and let everyone else say their piece to her. They are adults. Sometimes it's hard to break out of this "caretaker" role. So, the doctor still didn't call me. I have a connection in the office & she just swore she'd make him do it as soon as he comes in from rounds. Mom is worried because the cancer grew a little since she missed her last chemo. She thinks she remembers him saying something about infiltrates (not good) but isn't sure. He wants to do two more chemos & is switching medications. So, until I talk directly to him, I have no idea what's going on. I have some questions for him and I'm afraid of the answers. If she is going to second line treatment, it's not a good thing. And, if a tumor less than a centimeter grows after 6 weeks of non-treatment, does that mean we can expect the same if we never achieve complete remission? Etc., etc. I think that, at this point, I will get her medical records and ask someone else to take a look at them. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4907 Registered: 5-2001 |
I had a long talk with the doctor. I need to formulate my thoughts. Things are not good. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1912 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh, honey, what's going on? | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2184 Registered: 6-2001 |
Greene, I'm so sorry. !kcuF I'm sending e-mail. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2452 Registered: 9-2003 |
Greenetree - hold tight, hang in. Sending thoughts for a peaceful heart. Let us know what's going on when you can. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1642 Registered: 9-2003 |
Good luck and careful, thoughtful brainwaves flowing your way, greenetree. | ||
| wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1481 Registered: 5-2001 |
Same here to Greenetree. And also to Cynicalgirl (one of the best stream of consciousness raps I've heard). And also to Debbie. And to anyone else out there who for whatever reason is not sharing "publicly" what these ladies bravely, eloquently and so lovingly share. | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 2790 Registered: 2-2003  |
Oh, greenetree, I am so sorry. Let us know if there is anything we can do. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4911 Registered: 5-2001 |
Not trying to be cryptic. I'm just not ready to write about it yet. There is a new growth & we are going to second line tx. I'll leave it there for now. | ||
| marian Citizen Username: Marian Post Number: 718 Registered: 9-2001 |
Greentree--I'm so so sorry. When you're ready to share, we're all here for you. Thoughts and prayers... | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1094 Registered: 8-2003 |
ditto what she said | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 8844 Registered: 1-2003  |
I'm with you, Girl. | ||
| something witty Citizen Username: Buckneja Post Number: 149 Registered: 1-2003  |
G-- thank you for your email and encouragement to participate. Obviously it worked on me. If you need a name or two to get a second opinion, if you go that route, let us know? You must be beyond exhaustion. Are you still taking your trip? | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2446 Registered: 5-2001 |
As I think we all are ... | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2447 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oops ... that last one belonged right after Tom's post, but it sorta sat in preview mode on my computer for a couple of hours. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4913 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks, guys. I actually have a friend with an oncology practice & I'm going to see if the lung specialist will review her records. I still can't go into the whole thing. Suffice to say that her perpetually upbeat oncologist is, well, not so much. It always comes back. Just not this fast. I am full of emotions that I can't really articulate because I don't (can't?) think about it too much. Exhausted. Scared. Overwhelmed. Numb. Scared for her. Angry. Numb. For the first time in 6 months (has it only been six months?), I don't know what to do. I feeel guilty, but then not really and that makes me feel a little guilty because on Wed. they told her - surprise!- we're starting a new chemo regimen on Friday. So, she is home today, after a day of chemo & she is alone this weekend. Someone is checking on her, but no one is staying with her. Sure, I could have hired a home health aide, but it's not medical; she is adjusting to the idea that she may not make it. And doesn't want a stranger around. I don't blame her. Maybe being alone is what she needs. But she is alone. This rips out my heart. Yes - I am at my brother's house. Baby Bro, the one who isn't taking this so well. He has this need to have me around & is trying to take care of me. It's sweet. I think he's afraid something will happen to me. So, I promised that (as long as we are not cat siting for our friends as promised tomorrow) we'd stay 'til Sunday morning. Gotta go now. I just feel..... broken. | ||
| Jay Citizen Username: Jaymon Post Number: 388 Registered: 10-2004  |
My warmest wishes for you and your mom, Greentree. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help - water the lawn, feed the fish, whatever. 'VIG' tells me you live near me. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2456 Registered: 9-2003 |
I'm with you... feeling broken as well. Augie Schroeder was very near and dear to my heart. The emotions range from extreme depths of sadness to rage. I know it's not the same... I really do, but then there is my BIL - and I can't bear the thought of losing someone else that I love. Broken pretty much sums it up. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1098 Registered: 8-2003 |
Greenetree - we will miss you saturday. I wish there were something we could do to help you right now. If you think of anything you need, please don't hesitate to ask. That's what we're here for ...let baby bro take care of you! | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2458 Registered: 9-2003 |
I just tried to delete my post, but it's been too long. Pippi said the right thing.... let someone else take care of you for a couple of days... you've more than earned it. We're here for you when you get home. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 4915 Registered: 5-2001 |
SO- there is no reason to have deleted your post. I'm glad you can find a place to share. It's never the same and it is always the same. I'm so sorry that you are facing Augie and BIL at the same time. It must feel like more than your heart can bear. I think you don't expect a young person to die like that, even if they are at war. I can't imagine what his parents feel. Something I learned at 14 when my dog died: everyone's pain is excruciating to them, even if someone else thinks it is insignificant. A classmate's father had just died of cancer and I knew that was sad and bad and all those things. I felt so awful for her. But, I had both my parents (who weren't even divorced at that time) and could not understand the level of her pain. Another friend criticized me for being so upset about a silly dog. A father, after all, is much, much worse. I felt bad and guilty about it for years. Then, I realized that pain and sadness and loss isn't better because someone has it "worse". We just all have it different. But, we all feel our own •••• just as deeply. No one should ever feel bad about that, especially on this thread. |
