| Author | Message | ||
     shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2807 Registered: 5-2001 |
I haven't gotten it. I'll send you one. | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2808 Registered: 5-2001 |
SWitty, I have become accustomed to getting done only half of what I'd like...of course my MOL habit is partially to blame but I consider it my version of talking on the phone for hours like my mom always did! I find it helpful to make lists, not necessarily for a day (unless something must get done) but just to feel like I accomplish some of my goals. It's all tough when you have kids and work and a house, but I wouldn't want to give any of it up! I just printed out the girls thank you envelopes so now they just need to write a sentence, sign their names and seal the envelopes! Yay! I got something done! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 243 Registered: 10-2003 |
shh, sounds like you need a personal assisant for the following reasons: a. he can take care of some of the tasks on your list; b. he can join you for dinner when your husband works late (after he cooks it, of course); c. should something go awry you've got a built in scape goat.  | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2811 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, hmmm...interesting thought. Can he look like the guy from Nip/Tuck? I think I need to start working on my "help wanted" ad.  | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2819 Registered: 5-2001 |
AAAACKKK! Just when I thought things were getting better... | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2822 Registered: 5-2001 |
IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY IT'S ONLY MONEY. (but my mind is going with it  ) | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 250 Registered: 10-2003 |
You need to find something that empowers you, shh. Something where you will feel in control even when the world is crumbling around you. Why don't you spend the day teaching your girls Latin or some other measurable task? | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2826 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks Las. I'm just angry right now. Fortunately my kids are not involved. I'm pissed off and frustrated and need to vent. If I do it now I may be more composed later. Ohm, ohm, ohm... | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1985 Registered: 9-2002 |
What's going on? | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1057 Registered: 8-2003  |
yeah don't be so vague ...if you're gonna vent - VENT! | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2828 Registered: 5-2001 |
It mostly has to do with my sink. I'm not quite sure whose fault it is, but it's leaking and has been since the very beginning. FWIW, the plumbers have come by and they seem willing to adjust their end. What's pissing me off more than anything is the conversation my husband had with the GC last night, who totally played dumb. I did tell him from the get go that my disposal was leaking and he told me the plumbers looked into it and he thought maybe it was the caulking which he said he'd redo. Now, months later, my husband has spent hours reputtying, reassembling, dealing with BS and we need to lower the pipe which means cutting out the back of the cabinet, cutting into the wall, etc. I do not want my husband to do it. He is NOT a carpenter and this should not be his headache any more than it already has been. To make matters worse, he is gettting upset with me because it was my idea to hire the GC, and he's just frustrated with the lack of response. I am keeping names oout of it because I am not trying to bad mouth anyone, but this is a major problem. My sink base is supporting a huge, expensive, heavy fireclay sink and I'm afraid the water will damage the cabinet. I am not settling for just removing the disposal. I use it every day and it was one of the reasons I spent so much money on the sink. The car issue (my little accident) is mostly taken care of because of my husband. Thank goodness he didn't once make me feel guilty for what happened or complain about the amoount of money it will cost to fix. Now all of a sudden, we need to deal with a rental car. This was never mentioned until now. Makes me feel like my husband's diplomacy is being taken advantage of. If a rental car was needed I just wish it would have been discussed in the beginning. Just another miscommunication I suppose.  | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1059 Registered: 8-2003 |
ohhhh man....sorry shh. Just think, this will all be over soon. Then we can spend another saturday night drinking mango margaritas while Mr Shh makes us laugh over the trias and tribulations of the shh household. I promise. can I do anything? want to come kickboxing tomorrow? Great way to release frustration!! | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2829 Registered: 5-2001 |
Mr. Shh is working late tomorrow, but I am (as Hank would say) bringing the girls to SI for the Reverse Fresh Air fund (with some friends) and we are going to take advantage of my mom's pool and A/C. Kickboxing sounds pretty damn good though. I wish I just had a bag to hit REALLY FREAKIN' HARD! | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 1991 Registered: 9-2002 |
That really sucks. If it makes you feel better almost all of the stories I have heard about contractors (including one I worked for) have had bad communication, especially after the fact. Who wants to go back when they already have their money? In any case hope it is resolved soon! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 252 Registered: 10-2003 |
"I wish I just had a bag to hit REALLY FREAKIN' HARD!" Shh - you need to hit something, I know of a weisel who should be hit. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 2144 Registered: 6-2001  |
las - I think we should do the bar crawl in S.O., then serenade the weasel in the wee hours. I have a friend who has a bullhorn. Shh, you're welcome to join us and we can put your contractor on the list... | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2830 Registered: 5-2001 |
Las, I'd gladly hit your weasel! He deserves it! Bets, I have such a big mouth I don't even need a bullhorn! | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2834 Registered: 5-2001 |
Whew, I feel much better. Contractor came over today. I discussed mine and my husband's frustration and he is prepared to do whatever he has to to remedy the situation. Looking back at the earlier conversation with my husband, I realize mr. Shh may not have been direct with dealing with the problem. I don't know, I wasn't there, but I know how if you don't say "when can you come over and do it" instead say "well, maybe I can do it" a lot can be lost in that conversation. I was totally up front today. I can't have mr. Shh do that. "okay, I'll do it." From now on I do the talking. (Though I'll still let my husband deal with the car stuff.) Las, that was empowering; being able to successfully communicate a concern and have an acceptable solution. Another day, another hurdle. xoxo | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 261 Registered: 10-2003 |
Happy Thursday, Mrs. Shh. May you have a hapless-free day! | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2422 Registered: 9-2003 |
Shh.. honey... you never trust a man to communicate complete problems/needs... they are not detail oriented. So good for you! Glad you have an acceptable resolution to your woes. | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2837 Registered: 5-2001 |
18 years and I'm still realizing that! Thanks...let's hope for a good day.  | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2839 Registered: 5-2001 |
So far, so good. No more leaks, new disposal, new plumbing. Is my luck changing?! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2994 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm really comfused.  On the way home from our vacation, we stopped to drive around the town of Clinton. It's got a very quaint downtown. My husband is suddenly getting the itch to move. We do need more space. As much as I have almost made my house just right, it will never be because it's a little too small. I like to tell myself we can live smaller, but then I see all our stuff and think who am I kidding. In that area, we could probably get all the house we need, a lot more property, and barely spend any more than here. My husband's drive (he would probably need to leave at 5am) would be long, but he says he doesn't mind. He also compares it to his parents moving way out to Suffolk County from Brooklyn, and his dad being miserable with his commute. My kids were totally against the idea but then they saw acreage and now they want horses and chickens and dogs and they are thrilled. I don't know. I am not afraid of change, but I am afraid of making a choice that could make me miserable. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2561 Registered: 5-2001 |
I commuted from Maplewood to Clinton for several years and the traffic going the other way looked beastly to me. I do love their downtown. If you have any specific questions, I have a friend who lives there and might be able to get some answers. | ||
| Jay Citizen Username: Jaymon Post Number: 638 Registered: 10-2004  |
I'm may not be one to talk, I've only been in town for a little over a year. Still, I'll give you my 'two cents'. I find there to be something magical about this place, it's a quality of life thing. I also know from long commutes, from other places I've lived. Basically, you can get used to any commute in roughly 30 days. The question is really the bigger picture. Will you be happy waking up there every morning? Is it the kind of place your kids will adapt to? What's the nieghborhood like? Do you have a 'Ye Olde Fish Monger'? How far will you be from Pippi? I love it here, so I'm biased...... | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 2507 Registered: 5-2001  |
I work with someone who lives in the Cinton area. The commute to NYC it taking her apart slowly. I bet she quits soon. She also comes to this area to shop at the whole foods. We thought about it too. I would need to find a job much much closer. Though, it is nice. And there is a cracker barrel too. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2995 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks guys. We have been here almost ten years, I know how you feel Jay. My husband said that sometimes when he drives home he sees the traffic on 78 and feels lucky to be getting off, so I don't know why the change of heart. I don't know 100% if Clinton is right for us. (I mean we only looked for a day.) Obviously it's a lot less diverse than Maplewood, but it doesn't mean the people aren't open or friendly. I feel like we got so lucky when we chose Maplewood, I'm scared! Will people be anti-semetic or racist? I know that is a concern anywhere. Jay, we drove around yesterday and saw some areas we liked, some we disliked, some that were really rural and secluded, and newer developments where the homes were right on top of each other. I would hate to be in a new development without trees! I would hate a house that looked plastic! My husband almost died when I said that to a real estate agent. Ick. I told my husband I'd only go into an ugly looking house if I could get an architect to redesign the front. I guess I lean towards opposite ends of the spectrum...either really contemporary or really classic (victorian or greek revival). I am so NOT easy! Sac, I guess I don't have any specific questions yet, though if your friend said people there tend to be more closed-minded and conservative that would indicate to me it would not be right for us. There was a bratty looking girl, looked about 9, all decked out, walking downtown with a cell phone to her ear and pointed to a 1.5 mil. estate and said (as we were looking in the RE window) "we're moving to THAT house." | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2996 Registered: 5-2001 |
Buzz, I don't even know what a Cracker Barrel is! I don't commute, so that part is all on my husband. Matter of fact, I told him if we moved to Clinton I would be a real suburban housewife and I'd have to start making jewelry and crafting so I didn't shrivel up and die. But, the plus side would be we'd have space for all my art supplies that have been stored away for years, and I might actually be more creative. A big yard, a pool...I'd just sit on the deck and watch my girls have fun. That part I'd love. Why does your co-worker shop at Whole Foods? Is there nothing within 35 miles that's not Kraft? That's scary! | ||
| Jay Citizen Username: Jaymon Post Number: 642 Registered: 10-2004 |
Cracker Barrel is great, but not a selling point for me. I say you stay put and just buy a bigger house, VIG. I'm with you on the whole 'close minded, anti-semitic' thing, too. I lived in NOLA for close to 2 1/2 years, and it was like living in another country for this Jewish boy from Brooklyn. People used to ask me, "How long you been here?", I'd say, "Too Long". | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 2999 Registered: 5-2001 |
See, the problem is Jay, if I stay in the MSO area, to get a bigger house we'll need to pay a lot more in taxes and most likely sacrifice our location. We really don't want to do either. Plus, the market is so competitive, I don't even want to deal with it. If we found a house that was sitting on the market for awhile it would most likely need a lot of work, and after what we've done at this house I can't necessarily go into a house after spending a small fortune and expect to gut it right away. I just don't know if uprading here is feasible for us. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2562 Registered: 5-2001 |
I guess my friend is a bit on the conservative, if not close-minded, side. She lived in Union, not Maplewood, and was our children's childcare provider before they started school. I'm of the impression that she is happier in Clinton than she was when she lived in Union for reasons that probably wouldn't jive with me in my more liberal frame of mind. So, I'm afraid those aren't the sort of questions I would ask her or that she would be able to give the needed perspective on. She probably could give helpful answers about schools, taxes, etc., though if you needed that type of info. She has two kids, who have attended schools there. One is still in high school. They moved there about 5 years ago from Union. I guess I suspect that you would not be totally happy there, but I'm not enough of an expert on the place to know for sure. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3000 Registered: 5-2001 |
I guess I'd be the non-religious freako stay-at-home mom who always wears black! I did ask the RE agent about the arts program at the HS and she looked at me like I had two heads!  | ||
| jem Citizen Username: Jem Post Number: 1385 Registered: 5-2001 |
Don't go, S.!!! | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1135 Registered: 8-2003 |
you would definitely be the talk of the town! (welcome home - how was vacation?) | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3001 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thanks for the advice. You guys are making this hard! Pippi, vacation was nice. Beautiful house, nice surroundings, the girls loved the lake, the jacuzzi, playing lawn games. My sister-in-law is totally neurotic and we didn't eat out enough. Took the girls horseback riding a few times, went fishing. Next year we have to find a place with decent restaurants! OK, next question. If you were a fairly liberal, creative person and decided for various reasons to leave the MSO area for more open space, where would you go? Let's say within 60 miles of NYC. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2563 Registered: 5-2001 |
Some friends of ours who fit that description moved to the Poconos a few years ago. Lots of NYC commuters there, although I can't fathom why anyone would want to do that. (The commuting member of that family works in the Morristown area, however, so not quite as far to drive in their case.) They live in a development that is part vacation homes and part permanent residents, which raises its own advantages and disadvantages. The kids have to go a long way to school though, albeit with good bus service. Much lower home costs and taxes there. | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3002 Registered: 5-2001 |
I think Poconos is out. Mr. Shh works with a few guys who have homes out there and from what he's heard there are a lot of families (obviously not all, so I hope no one takes this the wrong way) where the parents commute so long to work that the kids end up being alone and getting themselves into trouble. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1136 Registered: 8-2003 |
how about morris county? Aren't taxes lower there? | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2491 Registered: 9-2003 |
Shh - your husband's commute will kill him and your social life - one who has to leave the house at 5 a.m. goes to bed at 9 p.m. at the latest. He may think he can survive on less sleep - but he won't. Moving away is a bad, bad, bad idea. H is getting older. It's time for you to branch out in the free lance world - you know you're talented so get out there and promote. Give it an honest try for a year - you may find that you'll make enough money to offset the costs of moving to a larger home. | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 9201 Registered: 5-2001 |
Where does Mr. Shh work? Am I the only one (possibly because I am a guy) who wonders how long he can take an extra long commute to the city (I presume) If I drove to work I would consider communities in this general area, but not on the train line where prices and taxes are more reasonable. Springfield, West Orange, Long Hill Township, etc. A buddy of mine and his wife live out in the Basking Ridge area and they put 150,000 miles on a new Honda Accord in less than four years driving into Harrison to take the PATH into Manhattan. |
