| Author | Message | ||
     Amateur Night Citizen Username: Deborahg Post Number: 1597 Registered: 5-2001  |
ooh ooh, is this an open invitation? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 460 Registered: 10-2003 |
Deb, while I'm sure Monster's Mash is by exclusive invite only (how lucky am I to have nailed one?), you are more than welcome to stop by my half birthday party afterwards. There will be some kids there (I'll lay out some arts and crafts supplies and juice boxes). Would love to have you. ps: love the new avitar. | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1291 Registered: 8-2003  |
hey las - happy friday off. When is the chair coming? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 463 Registered: 10-2003 |
It's here. The fabric is beautiful. Just perfect. But the chair is, well, kind of F-CKING HUGE! It's more like a loveseat than a chair. Remember when VIG was laying out her templates in my living room and suggesting there would be no room for any other furniture if I got this chair? She underestimated. It's a MONSTER CHAIR. But at least it's here! | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1292 Registered: 8-2003 |
can't wait to see it. Will we all have to stand outside and look in the window to see it?  | ||
| algebra2 Supporter Username: Algebra2 Post Number: 3880 Registered: 5-2001  |
Las -- I am going to try to get over there tonight -- will you email me your address and phone # again? | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3268 Registered: 5-2001 |
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| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 464 Registered: 10-2003 |
Pippi, yes! There is no more room at the inn. The party will be held in the courtyard. Even the cats are keeping their distances, stretching their necks, afraid to get too close. But, oh! - that fabric! I just love it! | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1293 Registered: 8-2003 |
good to know - I'll bring a sweater. Brrr.... it's cold out there!! (but I love it!) | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1296 Registered: 8-2003 |
las - Hope you had a happy half birthday. It was really nice to make new friends and see old ones! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 498 Registered: 10-2003 |
A few days from now I will see him again so likely for the very last time in my life and my heart it is pounding and running so fast and the thought that this thing that I never did want and never agreed to will be part of my life is scaring me more than I’d dreamed. And the anger I had for the way I was treated during the legal mess has subsided a bit, enough so that I’m not churning inside with the rage I had weeks ago, but I find that I’m knitting at the oddest of times, as I walk, with my lawyer, at the bank, in the loo – and my shrink says it’s still there the anger is in me I’ve not come to terms with it yet. To protect myself and shroud myself and keep myself safe in court next week I’ve asked a friend if she’d come with me and hold my hand and hug me. And she would love to but can’t get off work and her husband would love to and offered a maybe and another friend and her husband as well would love to and said they’ll try and I fear with all these possiblies I’ll end up being alone. But I have been thinking and mulling it over and one thing I have realized I must do to propel myself from the world I am in and get to the place I should be: I spoke to an old man who sets stones in Midtown whom I have known for some time and he is going to bring me some bands to try on... and take the one from my marriage away. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 242 Registered: 11-2001 |
L - be strong. Anger, grief, pain -- all normal. This really only happened a short time ago. The end of a marriage really is a bit like a death, and must be mourned accordingly. It's hard to bounce back to being happy and peppy when your whole world and belief system came crashing down around you. I think you are brave and doing great, and at some point, maybe not tomorrow or next week, but some time, you will see that, too. When do you have to be in court???? My brother went with me, and without him, I think I would have crumbled. It's important to have a rock to lean on. A new ring...a new life....and new possibilities...yes? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 501 Registered: 10-2003 |
Just got an email from my attorney. One of the items: 2. Confirmed for Thursday, October 20th at 11:00 a.m. I can't believe this is happening - I'm just not ready for this. I hear people use the 'd' word all the time - they take it so lightly as if it has no power, it's no big deal, fifty percent of married people do it. To me, there is a lot of power in that word and I am still having trouble accepting it was simply thrust upon me in a rash, unilateral decision by the person with whom I spent four years deciding if marriage was indeed the commitment we wanted to make in the first place. Got the email 66 minutes ago. I've been working at my desk, and crying the entire time, holding back my tears. I feel chlorinated. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2646 Registered: 9-2003 |
Courage, las, courage! Hide the broken part of you and let him only see the woman who has strength and purpose. Close the door and don't look back. The man he has become is not worthy of a second glance. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 502 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thank you, SOL. It's not about him, you know. It's not about him at all. It's my life - the one that I had, the one that I was striving for. I don't care who he sees when he looks at me, his opinion is as worthless as he is. But I am stuck on this 'd' word and it's just tearing me apart. It's not something I'd ever envisioned for myself. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1898 Registered: 9-2003  |
o-o-o-...I'm sorry this is hitting you so hard, this failure of a dream. For what it's worth (not much right now I'll bet) I'm certain you'll get your dream back, renewed. Some of the best women I know are divorced. Didn't plan it, but rise beyond it. Strength, m'dear. And chocolate. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5605 Registered: 5-2001  |
Dark chocolate! Do you actually have to see him? Why can't you go sign the papers before/after he does? What purpose does having to see him serve except to make you feel miserable? | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1337 Registered: 8-2003 |
Las - I'd hate to think the D word is something ANYONE envisions when they take the very serious, solemn vow of marriage. No one should go into that commitment thinking it may not last (and if they do, they are already making a huge mistake and they know it, deep down) Things happen, and we never plan them because we can't anticipate them. I am sorry that life threw you a curve ball. The life you had may very well NOT have been the life in the cards for you. It was a detour on the path to your real life, the life you are embarking on, the one that will be more fulfilling and more satisfying than you could have imagined. | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 249 Registered: 11-2001 |
Exactly -- little girls don't grow up and think, I'm going to marry a wonderful man and then get divorced. They don't think, I am going to be a single mom. But this stuff happens anyway, and we somehow summon up the strength and courage to face it and deal with it and put it in its place. It may be hard to envision now, but your new life is just beginning. There's a world of possibility out there. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5607 Registered: 5-2001 |
I think that Las knows how strong she is. It just sucks that inner-strength doesn't have an inherent force-field that keeps out sadness, anger and generally feeling crappy. I mean, who wrote those rules? Probably a man in a midlife crisis..... | ||
| Eats Shoots & Leaves Citizen Username: Mfpark Post Number: 2453 Registered: 9-2001  |
Or a woman with PMS. Either way, amen, Greenetree, you said it perfectly (again). Las is strong, and it is terrible to be going through what she is going through. Both things are simultaneously true. As my shrink said to me during my divorce, "There is nothing good to say--it just SUCKS!" | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 503 Registered: 10-2003 |
I haven't eaten chocolate since he left. I used to keep a stash in the house from Evelyn's Hand Dipped Chocolates down on John Street, and he used to beg me not to tell him where I kept it (in a planter on the mantle), then he'd beg me for a piece, then get mad at me over his lack of self-control for eating it. When I moved out I left the chocolate in it's hiding place, one of those super-secret-f*ck-you's that only has meaning to me. And I'm not strong. I'm very sad and just trying to find the energy to shave my legs. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5613 Registered: 5-2001 |
And thus the mystery of Ravenheart's Soapbox rant is solved....  Sorry, babycakes. But you are strong. Seems like it should feel better than this, doesn't it? | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 1439 Registered: 5-2005  |
Las you have a cheering section we are all pulling for you sending great vibes and only good Karma. You will remain strong and you will survive with minimal scars. You are loved and you will make it after all look forward Las. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 504 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thanks all for your uber-supportive words during my afternoon meltdown. Had a lovely visit with Ess who made me laugh and helped my head calm down then sent me packing with a facial regimen that can 'even help your skin' (um, thanks?) then had a lovely visit with Mem who reminded me if my court date were on a Saturday I'd have an entire cheerleading section in the courtroom - then checked MOL to find out Lucy thinks so, too! I believe it. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2648 Registered: 9-2003 |
So glad you're in a better place, here, in this moment. May the moments come ever more frequently. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 506 Registered: 10-2003 |
I can take a hint. My sister sent me corrective cosmetics; Ess gave me cleansing products; Last time I saw my attorney she said I should treat myself to a cut at F. Fekkai; I emailed my attorney asking what I need to do for tomorrow, to which she replied: "You need to look good – first things first." All that constructive criticism said, I think I will take myself to a day spa when it's over tomorrow, get a facial and a massage. Maybe get my hairy legs and pits waxed since I have no desire to reach for the razor on my own. I don't have the energy to post in please help, and wasn't finding what I wanted in the archives. Is anyone lurking about who might recommend a place for me? I don't want to go to the City, but I want a total spa experience, not a massage in the salon gig. It's not a money is no object deal, but I will spend because, well, heck it's a special day... | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2278 Registered: 9-2002  |
http://www.depasqualethespa.com/the_spa/home.asp or the Hilton at Short Hills | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 507 Registered: 10-2003 |
Wendy, you seem to have all the answers for me these days! I like Depasquale, but I'll book at the Hilton if they have space, for the convenience to home. | ||
| Wendyn Supporter Username: Wendyn Post Number: 2279 Registered: 9-2002 |
Enjoy! And see if you can slip the bill into the settlement agreement. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5626 Registered: 5-2001 |
Chez Greenetree is making cookies Friday night..... | ||
| ess Citizen Username: Ess Post Number: 250 Registered: 11-2001 |
No hints!! You are excellent the way you are!! Depasquale is nice, but a shlep, no?? It will be more relaxing to drive less. (Did that make sense? I am at work doing some mind-numbing stuff.) What is it they say....looking good is the best revenge? Showing up tomorrow looking strong and glowing and lovely will be like a suit of armor. (I wore a smashing pair of black boots to mine; that did wonders. But I think my feet are much bigger than yours.) | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 508 Registered: 10-2003 |
grrrrr.. Hilton booked, DePasquale can't take me until 4:30. Any other suggestions? (Ess: strong and glowing? I was just going to bring my knitting...) | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3333 Registered: 5-2001 |
Do the Hilton and Spend the Day! Sit by the pool sipping freshly squeezed juice and treat yourself to a spa lunch! YOU deserve it! | ||
| kmk Supporter Username: Kmk Post Number: 759 Registered: 5-2001 |
No knitting...too dis-interested and detached looking. Take a shiny portfolio with a fresh pad of legal paper and keep writing notes when ever you feel flustered. Then slam the portfolio shut with confidence. "There! It's my secret note and no one else can read it!" I really like the drop-dead shoes idea too. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 509 Registered: 10-2003 |
And Georgette Klinger is booked. Gosh, who do you have to know in this town... kmk, yes, I'm going to slam my portfolio shut. Superlative idea! | ||
| Meandtheboys Citizen Username: Meandtheboys Post Number: 1857 Registered: 12-2004  |
Hey las, there's always Garubo, although I imagine they'd probably be booked too. Good luck tomorrow. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5631 Registered: 5-2001 |
Wear black and a bold, striking accent color. Like red. Red red. You should go get a manicure tonight and have your nails painted fire engine red. With red lipstick. | ||
| Smoochie Citizen Username: Smoochie Post Number: 39 Registered: 8-2005 |
Las, Try Dieci, yes I prefer Dipasquale, but this is awsome too! On rt 10 in Livingston www.diecispa.com As for court...You'll be fine. Try the kmk note pad thing. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 510 Registered: 10-2003 |
Thanks, Me. Hope kitty had a seizure-free day today. Greenie: RED?  |
