| Author | Message | ||
     Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1912 Registered: 9-2003  |
50% travel will KILL you. And, not doubt, hurt your relationships. Maybe Garubo's could start a thing, kinda Frankenstinian. Side by side beds, little clear tubes running from one thigh to the other. I wonder if there's the same rejection issues with fat as there is with other organs??? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5693 Registered: 5-2001  |
Unfortunately, my body has never had a problem rejecting fat....  Yeah - I hear you about the travel. There's another position which I talked to the hiring manager about extensively last week, but it's past Trenton & I hate to drive. | ||
| wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1749 Registered: 5-2001 |
Wonderful news Cynicalgirl. Good luck on the job decisions greenetree. Past Trenton is far even if you like to drive. Is it near a train? Can you telecommute a few days a week? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5748 Registered: 5-2001 |
Dum-de-dum. Mixed feelings today. We leave for Ohio in the morning. I've been exhausted all week. Usually, the thing that motivates me out of bed on Thursday mornings is "one more day & I can sleep in"! Fridays it's "tonight I can come home and put on my sweats and crash". This week it was "••••. I have to come home from work Friday, pack for two, drag it all into the city, sleep on Baby Bro's couch & get up at 5am to help get the babies ready to take to the airport". Mom & I were talking last night. I asked her why she won't plan on going to Poptart Guy's in Chicago for Xmas. She's very nervous. Afraid to plan anything. "Whenever I plan anything fun, something bad happens". I reminded her that we had a great weekend in September and would have fun this weekend. Monday she goes for her full body scan. Friday, the results. Normal Bro is coming in to take her to the doctor. We are all very nervous. And afraid to be happy. This afternoon, I get to tell my psycho-bitch VP that I am posting for a job in another Op Co (not the 50% travel one). Her head will split open, flames will roar out, the stream of fire will engulf her head. And that's just with the news that I am even applying. If I don't get it, I will have a very miserable existence here until I find something else. The irony of all this is that we got a memo from our World-Wide VP (he's a bigger VP than is she) asking us to participate with the HR consultants who are coming in to find out why people aren't happy in our department. I can save them $250K: it's because you have psychos in charge who do nothing to help career planning/opportunity within the department and then literally melt down and start screaming when those people get fed up and go outside the department. There. And I'll only charge them $20k for that. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5752 Registered: 5-2001 |
BTW - I have no idea what is wrong with me. I am going completely against nature by engaging crackpots in the Soapbox & actually posting, never mind even reading, in Political Soapbox. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1917 Registered: 9-2003 |
Must be sumthin' in the air. I had a godawful week at work, and alas! it drifted into the weekend. I've got plenty to do in both places, but am cranky/crabby blech. The planning thing, yes. I am cleaning the basement and painting stuff with paint laying around. A never ending feeling project which I decided to take up so the kid could have her birthday party down there. Creating a "recreation room" of sorts. Well, it's taking every spare minute AND work is sucky. And then, when I pause I go "gee, in what way will this get all effed up? what fresh health crisis?" I say this knowing that there's a PET scan etc. in the near future. Must be just accumulated psychic dustbunnies. I am a big fat crab. The physical labor in the basement is good cuz it's not mental (though it drives me a bit mental) but yeah, the backdrop of how can a person plan anything. Last night I went to bed early just cuz I was disgusting myself! Now I'm up and ready to make to-do lists and get busy. Too early, though, to blast The Eurythmics greatest hits while painting... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1919 Registered: 9-2003 |
Well, at present he's lying in the bed. Sleeping too much the last few days, I think it's getting the schedule off on the Fentanyl patches. My God I've grown to hate them. They are an opiate, and the timing of change relative to withdrawal symptoms stinks, as in you have to get it just right. He's on 50's since the hospital, and the stronger the patch the worse the changeover symptoms. Doc wanted him to stay on 50 until through the PET. Having a low moment or two here. I'm so weary of the roller coaster. Keep telling myself living is better than dying, and to be grateful. But I hate this. Heat cranked up too high to accomodate his chilliness. Nothing normal at the moment cuz daddy's not feeling well, daddy's not feeling well, daddy's not feeling well. Please. A continuous positive change for a change. | ||
| wbwallflower Citizen Username: Wbwallflower Post Number: 240 Registered: 7-2005 |
Praying for you Cyn.. hang in there. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2076 Registered: 5-2001 |
cyn - I'm sorry it's so hard. My dad is doing poorly. He has aspirational pneumonia, and there is thought of new cancer. I'm hopping the Auto train with the boys tomorrow, and will be in NY Tuesday afternoon. Hurricane Wilma has presented a unique no school/no work opportunity to just hit the road, Jack, and not look back no more. The first thing my son wants to do is hit Cait and Abby's for big smiley-face cookies. Can't get those at Publix! We'll definitely get back to SOMA at least once during the week - just don't know when, yet. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6567 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby: I'm so sorry. Hope his condition improves. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1920 Registered: 9-2003 |
Oh, Debby...that is crappy news. I'm hoping for you that it is not so. | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2750 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm thinking about and praying for all of you every day as I follow this thread. Post here if there are additional ways we can help. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1921 Registered: 9-2003 |
Well, my prob abated. He'd put on the wrong patch. Figured it out about 9 p.m. By 11, he was all better. Now, he'll change them at night when I can see/watch, and he'll literally write on the thing when it expires (like they do in the hospital). He was sanding spackle this morning. Eating, all the stuff he's supposed to. Good Lord...! | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2673 Registered: 9-2003 |
Cyn: Another task for you, but a problem managed with a relatively simple solution. Glad he's got some energy back and is once again, doing some normal guy stuff! | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10427 Registered: 1-2003  |
Holy cow, Cyn. Who'd a thunk that was the problem!? By the way, how are you with cooking? Is that one of the tasks that add significantly to all your burdens? | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1922 Registered: 9-2003 |
Cooking is ok as it's a mix of cooking, Stouffer's and take out. Yeah, that patch thing is extraordinary. Really, coming down a level on them -- or skipping one accidentally -- yields profound withdrawal symptoms. What had happened is actually that he's somehow not taken off half the clear plastic backing. And, the "medicine" is not evenly dispersed across a patch so you can't kinda custom cut the thing. Net result? Crap weekend and much fear. | ||
| wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1763 Registered: 5-2001 |
What a wonder! My thoughts are constantly with you (you know after I've shared some stuff with you that you absolutely help me keep things in perspective). Wendy | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5771 Registered: 5-2001 |
Glad Curt's doing well. Isn't that pain thing a pisser? Went to Ohio this weekend. Baby Bro & wife brought the twins. The plan was to sleep at his place Friday night & take the 8:45a out of LaGuardia. Airtran calls me while I'm on the train, heading in about 8p. The flight is cancelled. Seems that they are anticipating mechanical difficulties in the morning. I was beside myself. Mom was so upset when I called her that she was hyperventilating. She wasn't this upset when told of her diagnosis. I'm talking total melt down. My father freaked beause she was upset. My stepmother freaked because she was upset. I spent 30 minutes yelling at progressively higher levels of idiots at Airtran. They can't put people on other airlines. Get me into Cleveland before noon. I don't care. We ended up flying out at 2:30p & getting there at 4p. Missed all day Saturday. But, we got there. Mom's face when she pulled up & saw the twins was priceless. I looked at TS & said "we can go now". We all had dinner together at my dad's Saturday. We took mom out for her long-postponed birthday lobster dinner. Caught the 8am flight home this morning. Changed & got to work by 1p. I have either TS or my nephew's cold. Not sure which one. And I'm exhausted. But it was sooooo worth it. She had her full body scan today. The results are on Friday and Normal Bro is going with her to the doctor. Of course, she waited until I got home to let me know that she seems to have a low grade infection. It was a wonderful weekend. I hope Debby has a safe, uneventful trip up and is able to bring some sanity and comfort to her parents. | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 22499 Registered: 6-2001  |
So happy to read fairly good news all around. I'm hoping Debby remembers to ask John or Leslie to call me if she happens to stop at Bunny's during her visit. Am looking forward to toasting las on her new life without GOG (gay OCD guy) on Friday! | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1924 Registered: 9-2003 |
5 lit-tle pumpkins sitting on a gate... Anyway, gave out 7 bags of candy last night to the usual assortment of cute little kids in costume and older teens with no costume and scarcely any manners. Whadya gonna do? Curt good yesterday...much spackling and sanding. He did get freaked over some ads on tv related to Fentanyl, lawyers forming class action product liability suits. I've know that Fentanyl is highly controlled with much opportunity for abuse, but given consultation with his docs and how closely watched he is, I've not been freaked about the product qua product. 'course some of his reaction was highly related to some troubling news he got about his sister. She, too, may have cancer, stomach cancer. They've not been close/close for awhile. She's like 18 mos older and married kind of a whack job about 15 years ago. Between that, and other family matters, the 3 siblings had kinda drifted. Still. His brother died at, I think 52 about a year after I'd met Curt. He made it through our wedding. 10 year seige with first colon then advanced stomach cancer. Then Curt with the colon cancer about 5 years ago. Then the duodenal this past January and so on. It's bad genes, man. His mother, mother's sister and brother. Polyps gone wrong, very genetic. Made Curt pretty low yesterday. The unspoken -- except here -- is the genes. Yes, at some better time we could have our daughter tested. As should be all the kids of this gene pool. But, as I pointed out to the doc, the result is not actionable information at this time. There is absolutely nothing different that would be done about the ongoing health care of persons under about 21. Frankly, I see no point right now but will later. I see no benefit in learning, possibly, that our nearly 12 year old has this genetic susceptibility, not while her father so struggles. My biggest hope is that within the next 10 years preventive scanning for this, and better treatments emerge. There are at least 9 young people who may need it: Curt's niece (38) and her 2 daughters (13 and 10), his nephew (36) and his 4 kids (all under 12). Oh, and his cousin (36) and his 2 little kids. This not random colon cancer, or brought on by individual behavior. This is hard-core genetic crap. For which there's little that can be done other than preventive testing, and treatment of one sort or another if discovered. And, it either seems to hit younger by a decade with each generation -- or it's diaqgnosed sooner due to better testing/education. Kick in the asc... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5792 Registered: 5-2001 |
Wow. Not much you can do with that. Except remind yourself that she also has your genes. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1926 Registered: 9-2003 |
Yepper. Sorry for the downer post. I'm not feeling as downer as the post sounds, but it sure is a thing and a half. I have a certain sick faith in vigilant testing. Curt's mother, uncle and aunt all fell to this, albeit older and with a more torturous path. His uncle was in his 70's when he died, ditto the aunt. And we need to recall that they did their dying and got their treatment prior to 1990. Even his brother's course was, necessarily, a product of the times. Thus far, Curt is doing better than his brother did in part due to advances in treatment, testing and vigilance. Don't assume your indigestion is just that, and so on. But, now we see his brother, who died in his early '50's. Curt, who thus far is one step ahead of the shoe shine, so to speak. We'll just have to see about his sister. Genes are hell, a very special hell when you can tell things but not necessarily ward off or intervene. All the broccoli in the world wouldn't have saved these people, and all the pollution in the world didn't kill them. Yeah, later at a different time we'll look at testing. Meanwhile, I sally forth, treading a tightrope between "let's live for today" and paying attention to retirement plans...! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5794 Registered: 5-2001 |
Don't be sorry! If you hold all your thoughts in, you'd end up hitting some arsehole at work over the head with a desk chair. And then where would you be? This way, it's just between friends. and lurkers Are you going to come to Bunnie's on Friday? I'll buy you a drink!  | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6573 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cynicalgirl: How does your daughter feel about the possibility that she may have inherited a strong predilection for cancer? She is surely bright enough to see what has been happening to her father and now her aunt. She must have heard about the incidents of cancer in other members of her father's family. Is she showing any fear that she could be next? If so, this may be a good time to have a difficult but necessary conversation with her and make a joint decision as to whether she would be better off being tested now rather than facing the future not knowing. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1928 Registered: 9-2003 |
Joan, she hasn't voiced anything about it. She's not heard yet about her aunt and we don't see her much (not in 2 years). So, nope. And it's not something I'm eager to discuss at this time unless she evidences wanting to discuss. I can think of few things less productive while her father is in such an uncertain state. I do think we will discuss, but I'd prefer it to be when her dad is in a slightly more stable place. Otherwise, what? Oh, you're gonna die by the time you're 50? Your ovaries will rot out so get knocked up quick? Don't have kids at all? There's also the practical and scarey fact with genetic testing that much is not known regarding how such info will be handled in terms of future insurance coverage. So, right now my feeling is that if knowing definitively will not lead to any rationale choices for a 12 year old, well, then lets wait. It would have no screening affect as none of the protocols suggest it. I have no answer to this stuff right now, and I think I'd lose it if I had to address despair in her, and possibly her blaming her father at this time. That's what always gets me when the onco has brought it up. Yeah, medical science wants to know and they will, in good time. But right now, frankly, it looks like a near death sentence period to learn that you have this gene. It's not like you can just preventatively lop off breasts, or just ovaries. You'd have to take out most of your gastrointestinal trace and your ovaries to avoid, and even that isn't certain. None of us could handle it, perhaps least of all me. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1930 Registered: 9-2003 |
Joan, I didn't mean to take your head off! I apologize if it felt that way. The severity of the genetics is getting to me. Now that we see, potentially, all 3 siblings affected, the dominance of the gene is scaring the bejeezus out of me. My apologies. Too, the doc is getting Curt's next tests scheduled and I know that none of us are looking forward to resumption of chemotherapy. 'Bout all we do hope for is the tests show that the cancer is gone, and that the chemo is preventative. Sorry, sorry, sorry.... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5795 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn - you are overloaded enough. You probably know by now that there are a gazillion resources for genetic counseling/testing when and if you guys are ready. One thing at a time. Especially when multi-tasking, in this instance, can't do any good and may, in fact, be more harmful..... If Curt is done spackling & is finding housework therapeutic, I could use some help cleaning out the rest of the basement....  | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1931 Registered: 9-2003 |
Ah, but he can't lift etc. The sanding and spackling was pretty small stuff. Nail holes and related preparatory to me doing some painting. And here I sit at work illicitly filling out the endless Adult Disabiity and Work History report online with SSI to try get some money, for him and for us. It's a darned good thing I have all the records I do. This is a mutha! | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6574 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cynicalgirl: No apology needed. This is a far from easy burden to deal with. My only point was if and when you found your daughter picking up on the genetic issue and displaying a change in behavior suggesting that it was bothering her, then and only then would it be important to discuss the matter with her. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5801 Registered: 5-2001 |
I am going to piss and moan about myself for a moment. I have the first cold of the season. TS woke up with one Saturday am & my nephew spent the weekend snotting. I have been sniffly and tired since Sunday, but taking my Lysine & going to bed early. I thought that I beat it. No such luck. I stumbled out of bed this morning to feed the furballs at about 7. Which is 30 minutes later than I need to get up. I fell back into bed, unable to move. I called in & left messages that I would try to make it in this afternoon. Usually, sleeping in makes me feel better & I always think it's better than not showing up at all. I woke up when TS called to check up on me at noon. Made some tea, ate an entire box of Amy's organic mac & cheese (it's healthy comfort food, right?) and crashed onto the couch. I knew I was in bad shape when I watched Maury. Two movies later, I've fed the cats dinner & am trying to decide whether I should bother brushing my teeth at this point in the day. I don't feel any better than I did this morning, but of course I did not bring my laptop home, so I have no choice but to go to work tomorrow. Whine, whine, whine. I'm going to bed. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2686 Registered: 9-2003 |
I got my flu shot yesterday. It worked. By 7:30 I was feeling crappy and couldn't get warm. I've got a raging headache today and I'm achey AND my arm hurts... but I had to come in to work. I join Greenie in her whine, whine, whine. | ||
| mjh Supporter Username: Mjh Post Number: 260 Registered: 5-2001 |
It's a bit*h of a cold going around, so I hope it stays away from Greenmom and Curt and others. Both my son and I wound up with bacterial infections on top of this virus and took rounds of zithromax for sinusitis/bronchitis. Most of his 4th grade class missed some school in the last couple of weeks. Still coughing, so be careful out there. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1935 Registered: 9-2003 |
Curt and my daughter had that! Going around work I keep trying to sleep a lot, drink a lot of OJ and cross my fingers... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5806 Registered: 5-2001 |
My mom got the biggest kick out of taunting me last night: Oooo! Are you sick? You'd better call the doctor! Did you take your temperature? It could turn into something very nasty, you know. Mom, I am not immune suppressed. It's different. Oh, you never know. You can't take anything for granted. It could get serious thisfast. Good night, mom. I am at my desk. This is so stupid. So, I showed up. Big deal. I will probably drink tea, make a couple phone calls and go home. But, I showed up and that's what counts, right? | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1936 Registered: 9-2003 |
Where I work, that's what counts. You have to look like an intrepid, valiant warrior, willing to brave public transport to get to your desk and look ill. Then, you sorta work for awhile until public opinion appears to acknowlege that you're sick, and then you can go home. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5807 Registered: 5-2001 |
It's the stupidest f-ing thing in the world. When I managed a department, I threw hissy fits if people came to work sick. And ya know what? No one took advantage. I had an e-mail from someone who I'd talked to about a position a couple weeks ago. She & I agreed that it sounded as if it would be a good fit & worth exploring. But, the department head was not so big on the part time telecommute thing. Apparently, he's willing to be "open". So, I called her back & said "let's talk". We'll see what "open" means. Since I am starting to realize that this isn't what I want to be when I grow up, I'm letting go of the idea that it has to be a perfect fit or a pharma co with a really stable pipeline. I am looking for Mr. Right Now instead of Mr. Right. Probably a good thing for someone of my persuasion, eh?  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5819 Registered: 5-2001 |
Today is the day. Mom has her CAT results visit at 1:45p. It will be good news. We now need to discuss the pros/cons of PICR. In other words, getting your brain zapped with radiation to prevent the (very likely) occurance of brain cancer. Tick tock. Tick tock. In other news, I have leapt off of the cliff. The job down in South Jersey called me Wed. and said "are you sure you won't consider coming for an interview? We can be flexible with the work arrangement, after all". So, I said "sure. Why not". I went to the WW VP last night to explain why I am looking. Good thing I did, too. Since he doesn't know me except for the occassional wave in the hallway, he can only go by what he was told. Turns out that Psycho-bitch had already told him that I was "not qualified" for my job. Technically, she is correct. I'm not an admin. According to him, I was sold as an expert in my field when I was hired. Absolutley not, I told him. I made it very clear during the interview process that I came here to learn this field. We all underestimated that it really isn't something that can be learned on the job (and your VP is a psycho bitch) and it was best for me to find something better suited to my core skill set. You know, Corporate BS-speak. To his credit, he asked me what my strengths are. We talked about it for awhile, he made some offers to introduce me to some people in the Op Cos who may have something for me, told me that he respects and admires my willingness to examine my own role in this mis-placement and seemed genuinely pleased that I had taken the time to explain things myself. Hey, Psycho-bitch. Checkmate.  | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 4305 Registered: 2-2003  |
nice.... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5820 Registered: 5-2001 |
I forgot to share this. On the way home last night, my phone rings. "I want a Benjie dog". OK. What kind of dog is Benjie? Wasn't he a mutt? I don't know. But, I want one with a cute face, that doesn't shed and looks like a cat so that Caesar (her current scaredy-cat who hated Maniac Devil Dog) won't be afraid. Mom, that's a lot to figure out. Just do me a favor. Research what kind of dog, but don't get one yet. Why not? Think fast, Greenetree... Because we need to look at your finances after this past year and see how you recover from the effects of chemo. I know. It would be good for me, but I have to be ready to take care of it. Although I'd have to start getting up in the morning. They are going to want me to radiate my brain. I know. We can talk about it. I don't want to. What if he tries to kill me again? Mom, we can talk about it and look at the pros/cons. Just because we talk about it and research it doesn't mean that you have to do it. And we can find another radiation oncologist. Well, I already know him. Maybe he radiated the wrong thing before and that's why I had so many problems? You're probably right. He should have aimed for your tongue. Ha ha. I love you. Good bye. Bye. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5831 Registered: 5-2001 |
They say that you never forget the circumstances of the most critical moments of your life. I don't remember where I was when Kennedy was shot, after all I was only 2. But both my parents can tell you exactly where they were and what they were doing. I know that on February 25, 2005 at 6pm or so, I was sitting on the couch in the den, eating steamed shrimp and broccoli with brown rice and hot chili oil from Bill & Harry's. That's when TS told me that my mother had called a couple hours ago, when I was walking off of a plane, to tell her that she had just come from the doctor and had lung cancer. TS, knowing me like the back of her hand, let me eat something. She didn't know how to tell me such a thing, but she did know that once she found the words, that I would not eat again for many days. She was right. So, I can tell you that, when my cell phone rang at 1:01p this afternoon and it was Mom's oncologist, the toilet seat was cold. My first thought was "••••". No pun intended, BTW. He told me that everything is clear, that she has lost 20% of her right lobe to scar tissue and that there is no sign of cancer. He'll see her again in 2 months for follow up. There's no reason to do any more chemo. There has got to be something symbolic about where I was when I got the news. I'll let you know when I figure it out. Oh - I didn't finish my dinner last night, so I brought it for lunch. It was steamed shrimp and broccoli with brown rice and hot chili oil from Bill & Harry's. |
