| Author | Message | ||
     greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5885 Registered: 5-2001  |
And, BTW, Brett..... Just where have you been? Your style works great here.... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1961 Registered: 9-2003  |
Funny you should mention that, greenetree. 2 weeks or so ago when I started on my flu shot thing, I did end up calling the SMG ombuddy because the whole way the whole thing had been handled across the offices was annoying, inefficient and when one of the office people acted like I was crazy and called me "hon" I kinda lost it. The ombuddy was nice, and looked into the whole thing, but mostly I got placated. I am when moved a complainer through channels. Have done it to good effect at Overlook. Generally, I quite like SMG but some of the personnel in the offices have all the finesse of people at a rent-a-wreck franchise. But, home again home agin jiggity-jig. Back to fake working from home.... | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2802 Registered: 5-2001 |
Just out of curiosity, because I don't think I found this blog when it first started, I read the first archive. Lo and behold, there was Brett and his Aunt K ... and something about a "dreamcoat". Maybe it's time to get that out again? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5894 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett- how are things? | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2007 Registered: 7-2003 |
Well, weird. My mother called yesterday at noon. For some reason K is still hanging on. She hasn’t had food or water since Friday, and the nurses say there is no reason that she should be alive. Except if she’s waiting for something, or someone. Well as is turns out I’m the only one who hasn’t visited, I tried but mom said there was no reason, she’s in a coma, the house is packed with people, just talk to her Sunday at church, she’ll be in heaven. Well the family thinks she wants to say goodbye to me. So I haul ••• down there (Manasquan) and spend a little time with her. It’s hard and strange. We are alone for about 15 minutes. So I leave the room and talk with my mom for a bit. Aunt K starts screaming. Yep the woman who has been in a coma for a solid week is screaming. Everyone runs into the room, and I’m ready to freak out. The Nurse says “I have no idea that really can’t happen, she on to much morphine” A while later my mother and I go in to say bye. We talk for a bit, and I’ve calmed down a little. Then the woman in a COMA, open her eyes, moves her hand toward us and lets out the most god awful moan I’ve ever heard. My mother and I then got drunk at O’Rileys As of 9 am today she’s still hanging in there, guess she wasn’t waiting for me. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5895 Registered: 5-2001 |
Huh. Maybe Sac's right. She's waiting for the dreamcoat. Perhaps she'd like to go out in style? | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10678 Registered: 1-2003  |
Gee, Brett, that's rough for everyone. Very sorry you all have to go through that. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2008 Registered: 7-2003 |
Well to be honest, it’s strange and scary to me, but I can’t feel bad for myself after watching her husband, daughter and son. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10679 Registered: 1-2003 |
Brett, to have an insight like that, i.e. fathoming (or trying to fathom) their pain has a chance of reducing it, which is your good deed. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5912 Registered: 5-2001 |
Confession time. I took the day off. I made one half-hearted phone call to leave a message for a doc to call me back. Mom seems to be making her own calls to get info about the brain zapping thing. My own brain is tired. In 3 workdays, I've actually gotten about 4 hours of real work done. I have interviews for two jobs coming up in the next week. Although, when you have a crappy cold, it's hard to be enthusiastic about anything. It's not even that I feel like being selfish and thinking about myself. It's more, well, cosmic than that. My whole family needs to experience some joy. Soon enough, the time will come when we are back to dealing with the ••••. Today, the salient point is that mom is completely responsive to chemo. And that's that. So, here's a question. How does one get started in a career as an advice columnist? I'm thinking of becoming the next Dear Abbey, but with more irreverance. Seeing as how I love to hear myself talk and all, it could be a good match. What search terms should I use on Monster.com? | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 587 Registered: 10-2003 |
Why don't you keep posting here and have Dave and Jamie put you on salary? I'm sure they won't mind. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5913 Registered: 5-2001 |
I think that someone will need to start a petition drive. Modesty prevents me from asking for myself. For those who are interested, you can cut & past the following suggested text into a PL to the Brothers Ross: Dear Dave and Jamie, It has suddenly come to my attention that there is no official advice columnist on MOL. Do you realize what a disservice this is to your loyal minions? Not to be confused with your loyal "minyans" of course, as there is no way to put an actual minivan online. But, anyway..... I realize that I need just one thing to make my life complete. That is a place to turn for unerring, impeccable answers to all of life's little mysteries. And, if I may be so bold as to make a suggestion, I think that Greenetree would be a perfect Advice Lady. Well, OK. So she's not really a "lady" in the sense of someone who wears the appropriate day dress and sits with her ankles crossed. But, hell. This is 2005! We need someone who can bring just the right amount of inappropriateness to any situation. Just look at the job she's done with the Jacoby Street thread! So, if I may humbly request of you just one teeny, tiny change to MOL, it would be to add this Institution to our MOL institution. Before someone finally wises up and insitutionalizes her. Sincerely yours, Average MOL Member with No Hidden Agenda Or, you can use your own text.  | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2082 Registered: 5-2001 |
In case noone said it yet - cancer really sucks. We still don't know the results of the abdominal CT, so we don't know the cancer status, but we do know that he failed the swallowing study. This means he is apirating. And aspiration caused his pneumonia. So now he is on a nothing by mouth order - forever. He had his last PT session last Friday, because he is not able to participate. So not only will he never stand again - he doesn't get the diversion of going to therapy to break up the day. Eating pudding and drinking ensure were his only "activities" left. Mom and I think it's better to have something to do - to have a moment of pleasure in his day - than to avoid eventual pneumonia. She is going to tell this to the doctor. I am really sad. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5917 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh, boy. I am so sorry. What a friggin' hell. It's finality in limbo. It seems that sometimes the docs get caught up in their numbers. "My patients survive xx months after diagnosis". But what kind of survival is it? I hope that soon enough you are able to find a way to make peace with it. I think that's the only semblance of sanity you can realistically expect when it comes to this. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2009 Registered: 7-2003 |
8:51 Crazy Aunt K is still with us. I told my mom, she was bossy in life and will be bossy in death. "Who died and left you boss, not me!!!" | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2083 Registered: 5-2001 |
"she was bossy in life and will be bossy in death." She should be! Who are they to plan the hour of her death? I'm all for hospice and making her comfortable/not fighting the inevitable. But pencilling in the viewing was just ridiculous. | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2010 Registered: 7-2003 |
10:15 May she rest in peace. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1967 Registered: 9-2003 |
Brett, if your post means what I think it does, I'm very sorry... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5919 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett- I'm sorry, too. I'd like to go out like that. Not the cancer part, of course, but the part where I time things just enough to screw up the plans. That's controlling your own destiny. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10732 Registered: 1-2003 |
Even when you know it's very near, it's always bad news when it comes. I'm very sorry Brett, for you and your whole family. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2715 Registered: 9-2003 |
Brett - I'm sorry for your loss - but ya gotta love it "You think you're having the wake at 2 p.m. on Wednesday? Think again." She must have been a helluva lot of fun. I wish you all good memories! | ||
| redY67 Citizen Username: Redy67 Post Number: 4444 Registered: 2-2003  |
Brett, my condolences... | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5924 Registered: 5-2001 |
OK - had enough. I have read more journal articles on the benefit/risk of WBRT and now know no more than when I started out. So, I tracked down some of the authors of the more relevent studies and e-mailed them. I used "appeal to publisher-ego" clinical language in the subject lines and used very specific, scientific terms in my request. Mentioned my profession. Oh, yeah - I mentioned in the 3rd paragraph that I am asking for personal reasons. I stopped short of using my work e-mail account; this way I have half of a prayer of not getting fired if I piss one of them off. If anyone wants to be slightly amused, I will share today's adventure with my non-admin. Seems her M-I-L had many, many health issues this week, involving multiple trips to the ER. It appears that she was prematurely released but she has now been admitted. I chuckle when she tells me about yelling at the attendings ("I don't care what you say - if her back hurts, it could be her kidneys; scan 'em")! Then I overhear her (along with the rest of the floor) on the phone, screaming at her PCP "your back-up guy is an hole-assay! I'm calling the insurance company and making sure that they don't pay you"! I wonder if I sound like that? | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6619 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett: So sorry for your loss of your aunt's physical presence on this Earth. Fortunately for you and everyone else who knew her, it sounds as if she will live on for a very long time, in the memories of so many people who knew her. | ||
| Joan Supporter Username: Joancrystal Post Number: 6620 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby: How awful. I just don't know what else to say. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1971 Registered: 9-2003 |
Debby, any results as yet? Are you saying they put in a feeding tube? Sorry for all the questions. I guess I'm half-hoping the swallowing study might get repeated, or that it isn't as final as it sounds. Monday at 5:30 we meet with Curt's oncologist so I've got test results on the mind, too. In theory, we'll have the PET scan which will tell what's up with the cancer, and what next. You have my sympathies on the waiting front. It sux. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5965 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh goody. A whole weekend and a Monday, to boot. I think that in order to work in an MD scheduling office, you must score really high on the sadist portion of a personality test. Mom asks tiny questions about the brain zap & then says "never mind". I asked her today how she would make a decision without the facts. I dunno. Do you want me to make it for you? No. Now that she is cancer-free, GMF is back to aggravating her. I got a very typical pre-Armageddon phone call last night: I can't believe what she's done now...... So, tell her "no". I can't; she'll be mad. Mom, do you know what I've learned from this whole experience? What? I don't really give a •••• if my mother gets mad at me. Sure you do. Not really. Gotta go. Love ya. See what you have to look forward to, Cyn? No great epiphanies or Angst TV Movie Moments. Just the return of his most annoying habits. And it's grand..... | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2085 Registered: 5-2001 |
Actually, the feeding tube's been in for a while. He went to the nursing home with it already in. But he had been eating and drinking a bit as well. And when he was in that good stretch and gaining weight they actually were talking about cutting back the tube feedings and letting him get more nutrition by mouth. But suddenly, three weeks ago, everything went to hell and he started a rapid decline, and losing weight/aspirating/pneumonia. No news on the CT scan yet. But one good thing is that Mom spoke with the doc, and expressed our wishes that he be allowed to eat/drink as he wants. The doctor agreed, and saw that it could help make things more pleasant. Mom has to put a note in the file that we realize that it's AMA, that we've been advised about the aspiration risk then we're a go. Cyn - hope Curt has news as good as greenemom's on Monday. Hope you pass the weekend without too much agony. Greene - thanks again for your note. It's great to see GMF starring as your biggest problem again! | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 611 Registered: 10-2003 |
Debby, I know the pneumonia is so frightening especially now that your dad's been confined to bed. Since Cyn and Greenie have had such undramatic posts of late, I'm going to save all of my snyde and loving thoughts for you and you alone. That's three times the sarcasm and three times the well wishes. Try to sleep tonight. - Lynn | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2088 Registered: 5-2001 |
Thank you, Lynn. All sarcasm and well wishes appreciated! | ||
| Brett Citizen Username: Bmalibashksa Post Number: 2013 Registered: 7-2003 |
I have a ton to type and the mental capacity of a 3 year old right now so bare with me. For reasons I can’t explain please don’t judge. History: Crazy Aunt K was married to Al; he ended up being gay, back when that was a bad thing. And they divorced. Crazy Aunt K also had a partial birth abortion; again this was back when that was an option. Crazy Aunt K never told anyone, except for her husband and my mother these facts. My mother told me all of it. During the eulogy “Bagels” (Cathy Baglely), chose to same something like: “I wrote this and sent it to Kathy, she loved it and told me to read it today. . other stuff . "She showed me true love when she was with Al, she had lost a husband, and a child. But was still strong” Bagels neglected to mention her current husband. The awkward moment was the two children started looking at their father like WHO THE HELL IS AL AND DID WE HAVE A SIBLING??? So this is pretty weird right? Grab your seats. As it turns out Bob, the husband, has been less the discreet for the past few months, and has been noticed around town with Alexandria. Again something my mother spilled the beans to me on several occasions (she not a person that keeps secrets well). So I query my mother, Is this Crazy K’s way of sticking it to Bob? “Just wait” So The daughter gets up and the amid all the hub bub and starts her eulogy. “She loved her son, and her daughter………. And taught me to love my father unconditionally” It’s amazing how much dirty laundry can be aired in a church. Honestly this woman is still alive in a ton of ways. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5978 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett- Is "Kathy" by any chance short for "Alexis Carrington"? You are right; someone like that never dies. It sounds like her send off was just like her life. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5994 Registered: 5-2001 |
Hey, Cyn. Just want you to know that I'm sending you lots of good karma today on this, what has got to be one of the longest days of your life. In keeping with our spirit and coping mechanisms, I was actually going to post some jokes to help lighten the day a little. But, for some reason, every one that comes to mind is either an oldy-moldy blonde joke (still my favorite, but so likely to piss someone off) or jokes that will lose something with all the red dots. So, karma it is.... | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2089 Registered: 5-2001 |
I was just logging on to do the very same - wish Cyn strength and peace as she waits for the PET scan results. Here's wishing you only the very best news. | ||
| wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1808 Registered: 5-2001 |
I third and amen all of the above. Wendy | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 5999 Registered: 5-2001 |
OK - I can't help myself. Stop me if you've heard this one. One beautiful Fall day, Harry and Ethel decide to go canoeing. They've been married over 50 years and still love to do outdoor activities together. This particular day, they are paddling along thru the state park, enjoying the foliage. At a fork in the river, Harry calls up to Ethel "up or down"? Ethel immediately takes off all of her clothes, crawls to the back of the canoe and makes crazy, wild love with Harry. They hadn't had passion like that in years. The next weekend, Harry decides that he's gonna go for it again. They go to the same park, rent the canoe and paddle up the same river. When they get to the spot where the river forks, Harry calls up once again "up or down"? Ethel says "up" and off they paddle in that direction. On the drive home, Harry just can't figure out what happened, so he finally asks "Honey-pie, last week when we went canoeing in that very same place, I asked you which way we should go at the fork and you made mad, passionate love like we haven't in years. Today was very nice and all, but what's the difference"? "Oh, Harry", replies his loving wife, "last week I forgot to replace the battery in my hearing aid. I thought that my choices were 'f@&k or drown'". | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6000 Registered: 5-2001 |
OK - I just noticed that I am about to hit a post milepost, as it were. Therefore, a Mom story is in order. I called yesterday to say "hi" and mom is crying. I feel bad; I don't begrudge her some overwhelmingly emotional days. I was never the touchy-feely, comforting type, but I figure that enought people have forced me into the role over the past year, that I can do it once more. Mom, what's wrong? I miss my dog. I know you do; it's very sad, but he's much better off. You still aren't strong enough to take care of him. But it's like I gave away one of my children. I'd never do that. I miss him so much. Well, I've often mentioned that it would not have been the worst thing to give away Baby Bro. Besides, think about women who get pregnant and give the baby to someone who can provide it a good life when they can't. You did the responsible thing. He keeps me company, he gives me hugs. I miss him!!! Mom, you can get another dog when we get thru the last couple things that we have to do. Something tells me that there is a reason for this..... Mom, why are you so upset today? What did you do today? I watched "Because of Winn-Dixie" Understanding-shoulder Greenetree breaks Well, that was smart. Why would you do that? Didn't you think that maybe this wouldn't be a good time to watch a movie about a family dog? Why not watch "Wit" and make it a double feature? I think I went too far on that one.... So, now I feel incredibly bad. Not about the "Wit" comment; I was over that pretty quickly. But about her missing her dog. Oh, it was the right decision. But I know how painful it is for her. I am now researching Schnoodles for late winter/early spring adoption. I figure that I'd better get a dog that I can take if necessary. There; I've made my 6000th post about something important. Now I can go back to doing absolutely nothing work related and posting snide things directed at dumb people. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6010 Registered: 5-2001 |
I am really, really pissed about being called a name on another thread and having the perp get a pass because someone else dissed him. As I sat stewing & resolving not to come to MOL for awhile, I thought about this thread and how there have been so many of us who are getting each other thru the worst possible times. It kind of puts things in perspective. What we do here and what happens to us, our families and anyone dealing with the same crap is what's real. Thinking about ya, Cyn. You must be climbing the walls right now..... | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2720 Registered: 9-2003 |
Greenetree - there are places I no longer go to on this board, because I get so pissed off at what's written. Glad you decided not to desert this thread.. we'd miss you... and mom... and GMF. Cyn - been thinking of you all day.. sending thoughts for strength... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1977 Registered: 9-2003 |
Let me cut to the chase: It was good news. The PET Scan showed "no abnormalities" which means what was there, is not in any detectable way. He has an endoscopy scheduled to look at the stomach cuz that's the prime place. Basic thought is that he appears to have no detectable cancer, but most likely (given the kind) there could be the cancer equivalent of little spores lurking. Goal right now is fatten him up and strengthen him up. Goes back in 2 weeks. Most likely, even if endoscopy shows nothing, he will resume some kinda chemo to get the spores so to speak, but it one hopes it isn't as nasty as what has been. Biggest prob right now is the freakin' Fentanyly, and related sleepiness but we're working on it. Must eat, and ya gotta be awake for that. So. Best case scenario, Curt faces a lifetime (a longish lifetime) of vigilance, with periodic rounds of chemo/bugbombing because it will grow back. But, as science progresses, as we stay on top of it, he could hang in. I'm: (1) drinking a big glass of wine or 2, (2) thanking you all for your good wishes and thoughts, and (3) considering every fattening thing going. It was an awful day, waiting. I need wine. Yes, greenetree that thread and that crap are so much eyewash. I feel like Sheena Warrior Princess and could easily, due to size and energy, tell every doofus on there HOW INSIGNIFICANT AND TINY THEIR CONCERNS AND MEMBERS REALLY ARE!!! (even some of the girls, as i will freely ack that a comment in the thread on Education po'ed me but, hey, cancer and what I'm dealing with certainly puts that in perspective). I will never be a little cheerful, Partridge Family smiley face kinda girl, but neither will I be ... A PONTIFICATING ASC HOLE!!! You guys are great, and I love you. I believe I'll be lovin' you even more after the second glass of wine!!!! |
