| Author | Message | ||
     wendy Supporter Username: Wendy Post Number: 1809 Registered: 5-2001 |
YES! YES! YES! Tanta bella cosi....all good things - or at least I think that's what I said. Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6011 Registered: 5-2001  |
OK - I wasn't surprised that I cried when I got mom's news, but I didn't think I'd cry when I read Curt's.  Wheeeeeee! Go crazy - have the wine and the fattening food. | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 2093 Registered: 5-2001 |
omigodomigodomigodomigodomigod cyn - I wasn't expecting such good news!! Of course I was hoping it would be good, but I was thinking good would be no further spread or maybe even, please God, reduction. But "nothing detectable"! That it just too good for words. I am so happy and relieved for you. In fact, I'm having a little Rocky Road right now. And I love you, too.  | ||
| CLK Supporter Username: Clkelley Post Number: 1624 Registered: 6-2002  |
This is the most wonderful, fantastic, fabulous thing I've heard in a long time. That and greenetree's news together makes it .... just amazing. I can't think of words that are fabulous enough. The good karma around here is very, very real. You can almost taste it. Wow. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2721 Registered: 9-2003 |
Just amazing Cyn... enjoy the wine and anything else you feel like eating/drinking. Awsome... and.... another Blessing with a capital B!! As CLK says very good karma in our little world.... | ||
| wbwallflower Citizen Username: Wbwallflower Post Number: 243 Registered: 7-2005 |
YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS  | ||
| marian Citizen Username: Marian Post Number: 737 Registered: 9-2001 |
Cyn--I'm going to have some ice cream right now to celebrate! So relieved. I've been checking in on this thread all day and thinking about you guys. Cheers! | ||
| sac Supporter Username: Sac Post Number: 2810 Registered: 5-2001 |
I'm eating celebratory ice cream for ya right now (Mocha Almond Fudge!) | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 623 Registered: 10-2003 |
Woohoooo! Way to go Curt! | ||
| bets Supporter Username: Bets Post Number: 22517 Registered: 6-2001  |
My first post post California: WOOOOOOOO-HOOOOOOOOO!!! Most excellent news, Cyn. My best to Curt and your sweetheart daughter. I raise my coffee heath-bar crunch in celebration! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6012 Registered: 5-2001 |
I've just sped-read the entire Blog. My geeky science-girl side still doesn't believe in Fate or a Higher Being, but I think there has been enough empirical evidence found here to find a high probability of the existence of Karma. This Blog has some magic Karma of its own. Those who are part of the family circle will be OK in the end. No matter how dire things seem at times. What a long, strange trip it's been..... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1978 Registered: 9-2003  |
I'm .... AWAKE!! A little soberer (2 glasses of wine really do it these days). Thank you guys for all your good thoughts/wishes/prayers. Today I'll schedule the endoscopy. Already got the CAT for next Saturday. PET was big number 1 but needs must these other 2. Yes, there's always MORE! Alla this crap is just to confirm that we're dealing with undetectable stuff. Honest to onions, one of the larger issues right now is the Fentanyl. He's gotta be stronger to withstand coming down to a lower patch and such but that particular trip is pretty sucky. Yesterday he weighed 114 -- he needs a consistent upward trend and mass -- and can't readily withstand the rigors of withdrawal from this stuff. It's really NASTY. Sweats, aches really like a bad 'flu. But, onward and upward with a little sideways. I really want my husband around for awhile. Actually, I'd like him to be back to being more like my husband and the kiddo's father. I'd like to think of him being around for her graduation from h.s. and all those other milestones. I'd like to see us fulfill one of his lifetime dreams of visiting Wales. All that kinda stuff. He wants to build a small pond (he's into rocks and moss) and I'd like to see him have the energy to do so. Last night, cynicalchild and I danced around the living room to Madonna's "Like a Prayer" while Curt looked on bemused. He's no Madonna fan, but certainly got the mood. He used to dance around with the kid, but can't these days. Maybe in a couple of months? He's a much better dancer than I. I'm sort of like that Jules Pfeiffer dancer-girl, only without any rhythm at all... It's hard to hope, but I think I'll try just a little bit. But for now, a load of "darks..." | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 1905 Registered: 5-2005  |
Prayers and good karma as I type through my tears I am so happy for you and yours a milestone. There is real love in here. | ||
| mjh Supporter Username: Mjh Post Number: 284 Registered: 5-2001 |
Cyn and Curt and Cynicaldaughter........I'm so happy for you. I couldn't wait to read your post, but I was as scared as the rest of your "audience" here. I'm sending all the Karma I can muster for gain of strength, energy, and weight for Curt in order to get back to life and withstand the rigors of ongoing "spore" treatment. I have one (clinical) thought about the whole withdrawal thing. Has anyone considered giving him an alternate drug (by mouth) to help him get through the withdrawal symptoms he's getting as he try to lower the dose of the patch? Like getting one pill (percocet or something) as a "breakthrough treatment" for too severe withdrawal symptoms? (In other words, a milder narcotic that would help the withdrawal phase be less severe symptom-wise (albeit slower)? (narcotic-lite?) Sounds like Curt might benefit from working with a real pain-mgmt team to help manage the withdrawal (if he's not already). Best wishes and congratulations! Hanging in there together has to count for a lot in terms of surviving this horrible cancer. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2722 Registered: 9-2003 |
I hope there's a bit of good karma left for my brother-in-law - please send healing prayers/good thoughts his way. News of late hasn't been good - well, actually it f%$kin' sucks. When they tried to get a read on the size of his tumor after the rounds of radiation & chemo it was blurred by a large amount of fluid. Dr. inferred that the cancer probably had spread to the liver, causing the fluid. BIL went home, did a duck & cover thing and wouldn't talk to anyone other than his wife. So..they drained 4 1/2 liters of fluid - nary a cancer cell in the lot. Small celebration, yea, hooray. I would like to punch the Dr. for giving him a doom & gloom message.. but, I digress. Now we can see the tumor so lets do the test. F&*k. It's bigger. He went through all that pain and agony and it's bigger? BIGGER? Whipple is not possible at this time... but it sounds like they want to try new and different chemo, and maybe new and different radiation. BIL is back to duck & cover. He's depressed, dispondant, and wants none of it. But.. this latest news was yesterday...I'm waiting for him to realize that he has many reasons to fight a good fight - a grandchild due to arrive in June - not to mention all the rest of us. footnote to those under 50: duck & cover was the term used back in the 50s when they made us get under our desks or go into the hallway knees against the wall, head to knees, hands locked over the head. An exercise in futility that was supposed to save us from "the bomb". | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1982 Registered: 9-2003 |
SoOrLady, YOU GOT IT!! Sometimes the docs' communications approaches are pretty awful. Now, you may have said before, but if I may ask: has he had a second opinion? Had someone else read this films and all the rest of it? Could be helpful in clarifying what's up. Could be that along with everything else, he's just dubious about the train he's on...Just a thought. (and helll yes I remember duck/cover!) *********** On other fronts: I just scheduled an endoscopy for Curt for the Friday immediately following Thanksgiving, and the abdominal CAT for that Saturday. Kid is PO'ed with me cuz Saturday is her birthday. I pointed out that the CAT is just 1-1/2 our of "her" day, and mommy is stretched to the max. I had a little cry in the Bagel Chateau over this, as she was pouting about her birthday. Truthfully, I want to ream her a new one verbally and have a complete tantrum. I am stressed out from all of this stuff, you betcha. You're quite right, mjh, but right now they'd rather he not go with any withdrawal stuff till he gets some more weight on. He's got endocet etc. Yeah, this stuff is a righteous drag. Also, I really want to know all possible news before Christmas, and they will send whatever from the endo to the Naval lab in DC. Last year, we got the cancer news right before Christmas. Yes, it's been a year. I would rather know all of where we stand before Christmas, even there's a tiny lump of coal in my stocking, so to speak. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6014 Registered: 5-2001 |
SOL - I was wondering about BIL last night. They told me (before the biopsy, of course) last March that mom's pericardial fluid would come back cancerous. It didn't. They said it didn't look very good that her tumor started growing again after missing chemo for five weeks. It's gone. There does come a point when a family has to make peace with where things are going. But, I've learned that it isn't always aligned with what the doctors say. Cyn - don't feel guilty about Cynkid's B-day. Rejoice in the fact that, despite all the trauma, she's a normal, self-focused adolescent. It's not like you've been down in the basement busting your butt to give her a party space or anything.... The Elephant in the Room -aka- What Next? At the risk of looking for a half-empty glass (it's in my DNA to do this, so I am very careful) I admit to being afraid. Afraid of every doctor visit, sneeze, unanswered phone. The biggest struggle now is for all of us to go on, without waiting for the other shoe to drop or holding or breath just a little bit. This is, I am told, normal. In a twisted way, not unlike having a family member who is an alcoholic or drug user who is clean. Everytime they don't come home on schedule, you wonder - is this the time that they slipped? Like it or not, we are now in the fraternity of Guarded Optimists. We've beat it; it's good; we can go thru the next crappy steps of recovering from our Category 5 Medical Hurricanes. But, what if?????? Sometimes even good news makes your head explode. The initial reaction is (quite rightly) elation. Then reality sets in. Good news shouldn't be so hard. I am having a hard time getting mom to make the radiation appointment. She knows she will, but she's afraid to do it. She can only wait so long. She'd rather fixate on the dog. Yesterday, she was upset about The Maniac - what if they aren't treating him right, etc. She said maybe she would drive past the house "just to look". I said, "Yeah. I can picture the headline: 'Woman Beats Cancer, Is Arrested for Stalking; Restraining Order Granted". | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6015 Registered: 5-2001 |
Oh - there may be a god and I've pissed her off somehow. Or she's got a wicked evil sense of humor. TS broke her foot and will spend the next 3 weeks in a cast on crutches. I am being tested for sainthood. As a Jewish aethist, I'm thinking I'm gonna fail. Well, maybe get a "C". | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2724 Registered: 9-2003 |
Been there, done that.. ouch. I have a wheelchair.. it's old second hand and not at all lightweight.. but as the passenger, it was awesome not to have to hop around the house. The worst thing was trying to do stuff in the kitchen balancing on one foot. It's TS's if she'd like to borrow it... I'll even deliver. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6017 Registered: 5-2001 |
That's a great offer. Given the height of our counters, we're more likely to need a high bar stool with wheels. Other than indulging her passion for cooking, I am sure she won't need to move around much. She'll yell for me to fetch things. Between hauling loads of laundry to the basement and scooping the cat box, that is. I already know that I am going to have to take away both sets of car keys while I'm at work. She mumbled something about being able to drive with a small cast on. It's her right foot, fer godssake! | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2726 Registered: 9-2003 |
"I am sure she won't need to move around much" So.. the queen doesn't pee, eh? You'd be surprised at all you walking folk take for granted. We don't have a kitchen table, so I pulled out a drawer and put a large cookie sheet on top of it to use as a work space. Balancing on one foot, getting stuff out of the fridge and hopping to the counter ain't easy. The wheelchair (which, by the way, the husband didn't think I needed because the hopping exercise was good for me - I could do stand up based on my whole broken ankle/surgery/recuperative period!) anyway.. after a day or two, I'll be she'll take me up on the offer. And.. yea.. take away the keys. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1984 Registered: 9-2003 |
Idea: Can we publish this thing and make money? Or, could someone write a screenplay with the blog as the central character, and then bits of each player's life? God knows we are diverse enough to satisfy. But, like I was saying, can we make some money at it? Or, could we do a calendar girls like thing, each of us "caregivers" and our patient? Is this to sick? Like I was saying, could we make money? We could give half to some cancer research thing and half to the patients. Isn't world ready for a sort of Lewis Black-Goth-Janeane Garafalo kind of take on all of this stuff? With a Dennis Leary narrator, or??? my mind is a fertile and fetid place... | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 629 Registered: 10-2003 |
I'm knitting socks for Greenemum, TS broke her foot... I've been struggling since 11:18 am to no avail - I can't find a whitty thing to say. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6020 Registered: 5-2001 |
And let's not forget your broken-toed furball. Feet comes in threes? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6021 Registered: 5-2001 |
BTW, Cyn. Not sick at all. We have to find a way to profit from our ill loved ones. They've put us thru enough, methinks.  We need to give this some off-line thought, seriously..... | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 631 Registered: 10-2003 |
You know, I really should be posting here about my little butternut of a cat. But the pain is too great and I don't want to detract from all the cancer stuff.  | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6024 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yeah. That would be really inappropriate. Cyn and I are busy trying to figure out with or without wig for the cover shoot...... | ||
| Pippi Supporter Username: Pippi Post Number: 1393 Registered: 8-2003  |
so I am a little late to the latest party ... congratulations to Cynicalgirl and family for the fabulous news!  | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3448 Registered: 5-2001 |
And from me too! What great news... | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1986 Registered: 9-2003 |
I was just sharin' with Curt some of the thoughts on making money outta this beast. He's very down with it, especially when I put across a kinda Andy Rooney pov. He suggested, as one possible title, Cancer for Crabs and Curmudgeons. Mind you, he is a guy and a rather traditional guy, so I respect his insight into what might sell. We were also riffing on (over some veal parme etc from Roman Gourmet) things like a cancer T shirt that says Cancer Sucks (and you're not so cool yourself). Just general snarky stuff. As he pointed out, there's a sizable pop in the US who has or is immediately affected by cancer. Not all are of a cheery or birkenstockish bent. Many are crabby about the whole thing, and while not lacking in spirituality or hope, sure don't genuflect to the usual precious moments-ish stuff. This is not to say that they are any less likely to survive, but cancer (like being "differently abled") doesn't automatically turn you sweetsy-pie. We also tossed about Christmas and New Year's cards ideas (Happy Holidays and may all your tests be normal). We got a bit ripe with it. Worth noting that as an "ostomate" -- a bag wearing person -- he's already hip to the general society's attitudes towards the eewy-gewy. So. If any of you girls and boys have insight or connections into the wubbulous world of marketing your pain -- I'M THERE!!! PS--Can you be 55 and Goth? Must you have multiple piercings? I think he and I are pretty odd, though in appearance, we probably look Mid-Western Sears. | ||
| las Citizen Username: Las Post Number: 634 Registered: 10-2003 |
Hey, Cyn and Curt - Happy Thanksgiving and may all your tests be normal.™ With warmth. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1987 Registered: 9-2003 |
Maybe a pix of cute little pilgrims and a turkey with port-a-caths? With ostomy bags? Oh, I'm bad...thank you, las! | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6048 Registered: 5-2001 |
SOL - please send me your phone number. TS is likely to be on disability for 4-6 weeks and I have had 5 phone calls so far this morning. I figure that she can call you, instead. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 2735 Registered: 9-2003 |
I went back to work when our youngest was 10. One day he was home sick and although I work minutes from home and had gone to check on him at lunch, he still called a dozen times. I finally told him that he could not call me again unless there was blood or fire. You might try that. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 6063 Registered: 5-2001 |
Mom went to the office today for the first time since January. Everyone told her how great she looks & most of the guys told her that her Chemo Cut is really hot and that she should keep her hair that way. She's planning on it. They joked with her about being on time; she's always been late. I told her that maybe being on time is a side effect of the chemo. She is going to mentor a younger guy and teach a training class. She told the head of the office that she will probably be able to work 3 days a week, will try to work her PCI schedule around work and may lose her hair again and some of her short term memory. So, they have figured out how to work around it: she will partner with the young guy she is mentoring. Remembering the details won't be all on her and she won't have to go out on sales meetings if she is having a tired day. Everyone was very supportive. She went in for a 1:30 meeting and didn't leave until 5:30. I talked to her when we were both in our cars on the way home; she sounds so happy and upbeat. She was radiating self-confidence and joy thru the phone. She wasn't this happy before she got sick. I'm afraid she may have had her Hallmark moment. She told me that she wore a really cute outfit - short brown suede skirt, boots, sweater and jacket. This is one hip chick, I tell ya. I can picture her in today's outfit, elegantly dressed, impeccably coiffed and flash briefly back to the tiny, scared, bald figure -wrapped in a blanket in a chair in July. I get tears in my eyes. | ||
| Lucy Supporter Username: Lucy Post Number: 1927 Registered: 5-2005 |
We learn how pecious life is and to enjoy each moment and not to let the little things weigh us down. You both have walked through the fire thanks for letting us learn and help with our prayers and good Karma we sent your way. What a difference a day makes! | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 10850 Registered: 1-2003  |
Cynicalgirl, you are an amazing writer, as in this post. I do think you could sell this stuff. With all the cheery and birkenstockish stuff, there must be a niche for grumpy cancer people. | ||
| Cynicalgirl Citizen Username: Cynicalgirl Post Number: 1991 Registered: 9-2003 |
Shout out to Wendy: Took Curt and me in for flu shots yesterday, and saw my amazing GP, Eileen Klein. Told her your idea for (sp?) shmaltz for weight gain. She thought it a good one. Now, if only I can keep shmaltz straight from shmatta! Eileen says they sell it in King's. May try it in mashed potatos as she suggests. I guess you can sling it around bowties and noodles, too, right? Thank you, Mr. Reingold. My 11th grade English teacher, a funny lady who looked like a wry sparrow, once suggested that the only career path for me was writing "fractured Shakespeare." Some days, I think she was right-er than we knew at the time. I've always liked witty/silly (Ogden Nash and Shel Silverstein, Monty Python), and often breakdown on prolonged serious. Must be why I can't bear Herman Hesse, Thomas Pynchon and similar. Oh, the profundity! Yes, I think grumpy cancer people are underserved. I believe that's why greenetree started this blog, this tsunami of irreverant and profound human experience. And thank you, greenetree... | ||
| Bob K Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 9759 Registered: 5-2001 |
I pretty much avoid posting here because of the estrogen level is so high my voice goes up an octave or so when I do. However, I am taking the risk to, as Maplewood's leading literary critic, to suggest that Greenie's and Cyn's postings have the making of a book. Shite, I just hit high C so I am outa here again!! | ||
| Virtual It Girl Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 3465 Registered: 5-2001 |
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