| Author | Message | ||
     margu Citizen Username: Margu Post Number: 6 Registered: 6-2002 |
Everyone is invited to support and find out what some of your neighbors' families live with: SUPPORTING ALL ROADS TO JUSTICE One of ten town meetings across New Jersey Discuss Marriage Equality in the Courts and Domestic Partnership in the Legislature Members of Rainbow Families of Maplewood / South Orange When: Tuesday, March 18 at 7:00 pm Where: DeHart Center, 120 Burnett Avenue, Maplewood, NJ ( free childcare available onsite) · Learn about Lambda Legal's lawsuit for seven couples seeking to have their unions recognized as marriages. · Hear details on the proposed legislation establishing domestic partnerships. · Talk to Assemblymen John McKeon & Mims Hackett and Senate President Richard Codey and/or their legislative aides. · Meet plaintiff couples and hear their story. · Learn how our government discriminates against same-sex couples, denying them Social Security benefits, inheritance rights and joint health insurance. · Ask questions to clarify your understanding of these issues. Sponsored by Lambda Legal Rainbow Families of Maplewood/South Orange and 60 other local, state, and national organizations | ||
| Steven Brent Citizen Username: Sbrent Post Number: 199 Registered: 9-2002  |
What's a "Rainbow Family" ? Please pardon our appearance while we renovate. | ||
| Yang Citizen Username: Yang Post Number: 4 Registered: 3-2003 |
Rainbow is a PC word for Gay/Lesbian. We learned this when our daughter put a rainbow sticker on her car after joining a club at Columbia HS. I just thought it was just a cute thing a young girl would do. In my day it was daisy stickers. Then one day I overheard a conversation and learned that CHS has and promotes a Gay/Lesbian club using the school PA system. My questions followed and that is when I learned that the rainbow sticker was the Gay/Lesbian symbol. | ||
| margu Citizen Username: Margu Post Number: 8 Registered: 6-2002 |
If you would clarify your term "promotes a Gay/Lesbian club". If you mean that the school supports lesbian and gay kids to have such a club, then you are correct. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 1507 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yang- "PC" connotates that there is something un-PC about the words "lesbian" or "gay". There is not. The rainbow is a positive symbol of our communities & symbolizes the many different "colors" or parts of lesbian/gay communities. It shows that we are very diverse, yet united. Many clubs, groups, organizations, etc. use the term "rainbow" since it is so easily recognizable. Even within our communities, people refer to themselves differently. If your daughter displays the symbol as an expression of who she is, please be careful not to make her feel self-concious or negative about herself. I don't mean to presume on your parenting habits. It's just that it can be very difficult to grow up gay, even for the kids who seem well-adjusted & unfazed by any negativity they may encounter. | ||
| bobk Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 2716 Registered: 5-2001 |
Columbia has, or at least had a couple of years ago, a gay-straight alliance club/chapyer or whatever it is called. Growing up is tough, period. However, it is undoubtly tougher for gay and lesbian kids. I don't know if this is an anomaly, but I know, again a couple of years ago, an openly gay guy was Vice President of the Student Council and the "Alternative Families" exhibt at the school which has been mentioned on MOL several times was the work of a lesbian student. | ||
| Nohero Citizen Username: Nohero Post Number: 1433 Registered: 5-2001  |
Columbia does still have that student organization referred to by Bobk - it's called Spectrum. Actually, it was just included in a brief summary of some of the student organizations, in the latest issue of the Columbia High School newspaper, The Columbian. By the way, the school newspaper is an excellent source of news about what's going on at the High School, and about what's going on with high schoolers; it's worth subscribing to (and, no, I don't have a child on the staff of the paper!). Margu, thanks for posting that information. | ||
| Yang Citizen Username: Yang Post Number: 6 Registered: 3-2003 |
Thank you for not presuming anything in my parenting style. At this point in time I would hope that my child is what she is. I would hope that she develops into a normal young woman. After talking with her I’ve gained the impression that this club is well promoted via the HS PA system announcements and the club members are rather aggressive to get kids to join. My daughter did not go to school and ask if a lesbian club existed. She was approached and through peer pressure joined. The rainbow sticker is something the club promotes, and to be cool, it is on her car. I’ve talked to her and she does not think that she is a lesbian and has not become sexually active. Why not provide a school that teaches Language arts and math, and leave this lesbian education out of a young child’s sphere of HS experiences? Why not let her grow up and become what she will be, and not start this social pressure to be in a gay/lesbian club? | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 1509 Registered: 5-2001 |
Yang- All I can say is that I hope your daughter has an adult with whom she can talk openly. Trust me, it's a myth that we recruit. I know this will piss you off, and I apologize, but I'll say it anyway on behalf of the many teens who feel different & are afraid to talk to their parents: it doesn't seem as if you would be open & non-judgemental if she did have something she wanted to talk to you about. It's never easy for parents & no one wants to hear that their child may be different or even just questioning. I'm not saying your daughter is. I don't know her, but I do recognize the situation. And, every teen who is lesbian or gay is not sexually active. Just like every teen who is straight is not sexually active. The "it's all about who you have sex with" myth is right there with the "recruiting" myth. | ||
| The New CFA Citizen Username: Cfa Post Number: 848 Registered: 5-2001  |
Yang, I'm sure your daughter didn't join because of peer pressure. It's only a club. If she is not a lesbian, I give her a lot of credit for displaying the pride flag on her car. Back to the original post. We will be there. Is there anything we can do? | ||
| Yang Citizen Username: Yang Post Number: 10 Registered: 3-2003 |
I take it these responses are from lesbian posters. The rainbow flag is a good hint. Yes your comment did piss me off. My child and I do have a good and open relationship. She is still quite young on an emotional level and we talk often about things. She does have adults other than me to talk to, both family and our pastor. Yes, the club thing was a surprise, but now that we have talked about it, and a friend confirms, there is a lot of peer pressure being placed to join the club. One comment from a club member that the girls told me was, “If they did not join they were just denying who they really are.” Ok, I have that second hand, but I believe that something to that effect was said. You may not call that recruitment but I’m not comfortable with it. School is a place to get an academic education and some social skills. Higher level social development and morals should be left to the parents, and the churches of our choice. It should not be part of the school system. I am considering contacting the school about this club, but my daughter would be embarrassed if I do. Now that she is in it she can’t quit. I can’t embarrass her. Is that a situation to put a young child into? Keep in mind that there is a pretty good chance that if left alone she will develop, mature and have a healthy straight sexual life. Please don’t be sorry for me, I’m happy with my life as I am sure you are with yours. | ||
| Yang Citizen Username: Yang Post Number: 11 Registered: 3-2003 |
I take it these responses are from lesbian posters. The rainbow flag is a good hint. Yes your comment did piss me off. My child and I do have a good and open relationship. She is still quite young on an emotional level and we talk often about things. She does have adults other than me to talk to, both family and our pastor. Yes, the club thing was a surprise, but now that we have talked about it, and a friend confirms, there is a lot of peer pressure being placed to join the club. One comment from a club member that the girls told me was, “If they did not join they were just denying who they really are.” Ok, I have that second hand, but I believe that something to that effect was said. You may not call that recruitment but I’m not comfortable with it. School is a place to get an academic education and some social skills. Higher level social development and morals should be left to the parents, and the churches of our choice. It should not be part of the school system. I am considering contacting the school about this club, but my daughter would be embarrassed if I do. Now that she is in it she can’t quit. I can’t embarrass her. Is that a situation to put a young child into? Keep in mind that there is a pretty good chance that if left alone she will develop, mature and have a healthy straight sexual life. Please don’t be sorry for me, I’m happy with my life as I am sure you are with yours. | ||
| The New CFA Citizen Username: Cfa Post Number: 850 Registered: 5-2001 |
I personally don't feel sorry for you, I feel sorry for your daughter. She has to be raised by a parent like you. You make it seem like this club is holding a gun to her head to remain a member. I'm sure that's not the case. Also, I think you're full of it with the peer pressure stuff. By the way, I'm not a lesbian!  | ||
| nakaille Citizen Username: Nakaille Post Number: 1413 Registered: 5-2001 |
Actually, Yang, there are a lot of straight kids in the straight/gay alliance (Spectrum), maybe even most of the kids. The purpose of such clubs is certainly not to recruit anyone toward either homosexuality or heterosexuality. It's just a place for kids to feel safe and supportive of one another. Besides, recruiting just "doesn't take." If it did, all of us gay folks would be straight, don't you think? After all, the vast majority of us grew up in heterosexual families and had heterosexual friends. This is not some whim or "lifestyle" that people choose like Danish modern furniture. If your daughter wants to quit the club, she should just quit the club. Big deal. But you'd like to get rid of it for everyone because your child is somehow uncomfortable about her choices? Help your daughter have some courage, don't take away choices from everyone else. There is always peer pressure for and against all kinds of things, in adulthood as well as adolescence. The answer is rarely that the option should be eliminated for everyone. The school provides time for clubs separate from class time. This is not an either/or situation of academic instruction versus so-called lesbian recruiting. It's a club, nothing more. There are lots of clubs she could join. Bacata | ||
| viva Citizen Username: Viva Post Number: 217 Registered: 5-2001 |
(in my opinion) you should be proud that your daughter has perhaps taken a small risk to expand her horizons. joining this club is more likely to be about her growing up and opening her mind rather than exploring personal sexuality. this is a good, healthy thing and the less you make of it, the better. | ||
| Redsox Citizen Username: Redsox Post Number: 207 Registered: 6-2002 |
or it could be just a passing phase went to school with a number of young ladies who used to dilly-dally about with other young girls. most ended up straight. | ||
| nakaille Citizen Username: Nakaille Post Number: 1415 Registered: 5-2001 |
And some of us who dated guys turned out to be lesbians. Guess the "dilly-dallying" could go both ways, right Redsox?. Hard to tell at this age for a lot of kids. Anyway, after 23 years, a house and a kid together, my partner and I would love to have the same basic legal rights as straight folks. Around inheritance, healthcare decisions, medical insurance, etc., etc. Come out and show your support for the civil rights of many of your neighbors. Or just to say hi. Bacata | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 1516 Registered: 5-2001 |
CFA- does your husband know that you're a lesbian?  | ||
| margu Citizen Username: Margu Post Number: 9 Registered: 6-2002 |
One thing you can do "New Cfa" is bring as many friends and neighbors as you'd like. Also while at the meeting, take a moment to sign up with the Rainbow Families of Maplewood/South Orange email group. Some might think that "family" is just about those of us with kids; but this is not the case and all kinds of families are welcome. Committed unions of all kinds deserve the same respect and basic rights as other people. I also feel so saddened by the torment Yang's daughter will now have to deal with - especially if she was showing some initiative in displaying a rainbow flag and then being shamed for it. Parents' inability to deal with and even question their own homophobia, to challenge and question their basic fears for their daughter's sake, is indeed, sad. | ||
| Yang Citizen Username: Yang Post Number: 12 Registered: 3-2003 |
Ladies, It is pretty obvious from your preoccupation with your concerns for my daughter, that you have no regard for diversity and other people and their view. You continue to blast back at me even when I went silent for days to let this drop. Why, because I do not agree with you. So if I do not agree with you, you have started labeling me as something that I am not, and continue to bring my daughter up in your postings. If I do not agree with your views, I must be wrong and homophobic. You make a statement like, “Committed unions of all kinds deserve the same respect and basic rights as other people.” I am in a committed union, then why can you not offer me the same respect that you are asking others to give you and leave me, my daughter and everyone that is different from you ALONE!!!!!!!! Get out of my face! I’ll bet it is not possible for you. |
