| Author | Message | ||
     bpaandco Citizen Username: Bpaandco Post Number: 36 Registered: 9-2003 |
Plan to make at least 4 trips to the hardware store when doing plumbing repair work. Oh yeah, and make sure the shut off valve is turned off.  | ||
| naborly Citizen Username: Naborly Post Number: 254 Registered: 7-2001 |
Do not try to plug in something in the dark by feeling the prongs and outlet with your fingertips. | ||
| knak Citizen Username: Knak Post Number: 32 Registered: 5-2002 |
(though that one works enough of the time to really fool ya) | ||
| naborly Citizen Username: Naborly Post Number: 255 Registered: 7-2001 |
After falling down the steps because your slippers have no tread, throw the slippers out. Do not wear them again, especially on the steps. | ||
| naborly Citizen Username: Naborly Post Number: 256 Registered: 7-2001 |
If you see a cute little fuzzy white pup on a leash outside a store without its owner -- do not stop to pet it. | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 1796 Registered: 5-2001 |
Don't offer to buy your mother-in-law an airline ticket for the holidays and then give her a choice in the dates (no, wait, maybe this day, wait, isn't there anything later, no wait....). | ||
| ml1 Citizen Username: Ml1 Post Number: 1350 Registered: 5-2002  |
Never Krazy Glue a badger to your head. | ||
| thegoodsgt Citizen Username: Thegoodsgt Post Number: 300 Registered: 2-2002 |
Never try to convince a Republican or Democrat that the other party makes some pretty convincing arguements. | ||
| Ukealalio Citizen Username: Ukealalio Post Number: 118 Registered: 6-2003 |
Never agree with your wife when she say's another woman is attractive. | ||
| mem Citizen Username: Mem Post Number: 2193 Registered: 5-2001  |
Don't spray yourself with mace just to see what it smells like. | ||
| bak Citizen Username: Bak Post Number: 385 Registered: 5-2001 |
ALWAYS make sure the garage door is open before backing out. | ||
| JGTierney Citizen Username: Jtg7448 Post Number: 76 Registered: 6-2003 |
make sure you clearly label which container is SALT and which is SUGAR. if you get it wrong - chocolate cake isn't as good. i know. | ||
| kmk Citizen Username: Kmk Post Number: 249 Registered: 5-2001 |
Never "pass gas" when you are alone in the elevator. If somone offers you a breath mint - take it. | ||
| marken Citizen Username: Marken Post Number: 62 Registered: 4-2003 |
You can slap a TV to correct the picture, but you can't bang your PDA on the desk to correct a fatal error. | ||
| vor Citizen Username: Vor Post Number: 101 Registered: 9-2003 |
Never brag (aka drunken bravado) about how many White Castle hamburgers you can eat. I had to eat 22 in 90 minutes. Here was the bet. I had to accomplish this feat or go around the office wearing a Ronald Reagan mask for a day. I work at an investment bank full of conservative yahoos and my boss, knowing my political persuasion, thought this would be hilarious. If I won the bet, which I did, he would pay $250 to the organization of my choice. I picked the committee to elect Al Sharpton, and it had to be a personal check with his name and address on it. | ||
| Crazyguggenheim Citizen Username: Crazyguggenheim Post Number: 462 Registered: 2-2002  |
Call me crazy, but as much as you may be tempted, don't use the lawnmower as a hedge trimmer. Call me crazy | ||
| El Duderino Citizen Username: The_dude Post Number: 35 Registered: 9-2003  |
Don't try to pass gas when you have the runs | ||
| Tom Reingold the prissy-pants Citizen Username: Noglider Post Number: 971 Registered: 1-2003  |
Here's something I learned this week: Don't write a recipe of a piece of paper with water-soluble ink and leave the paper on the kitchen counter while you're working. Tom Reingold There is nothing | ||
| greenetree Supporter Username: Greenetree Post Number: 1811 Registered: 5-2001 |
Do not underestimate the power of your cat to find the well-hidden glue traps you set for the mice!!! The formula goes: Negative outcomes = reach difficulty squared divided by owner's desire to keep the object from the cat times feline determination factor to the 10th power. Gluing fur back onto a cat after you've scraped it out of a glue trap is a real bitch..... (Dave, I said "bitch") | ||
| buzzsaw Citizen Username: Buzzsaw Post Number: 1110 Registered: 5-2001  |
don't run with your hands in your pocket. There is. |
