| Author | Message | ||
     mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 132 Registered: 5-2001 |
I've been trying to calm myself down about this before I posted. I am just so appalled... The preschool at Sharey-Tefilo (a jewish curriculum, but multicultural with about 30% non-jewish students) recently had two events that were open to the public- a book sale and a vendor night. For both events, preschool parents, friends, family, the public, etc. were invited to come support fundraising efforts for a new playground for the preschool. Both events took place right before the holidays. At both these events, Christmas items (books, santa items, wrapping paper) were removed at the last minute by temple personnel. Apparently, they thought it was inappropriate to have these things at both of the sales. Some even said they found it "offensive". After a Board Meeting and discussions with several preschool Board Members, the temple has held it's position, much to the Preschool Board's dismay. I am shocked and saddened by this action. As part of the school's non-jewish population, I feel disrespected and discriminated against. I have always accepted and embraced the school's jewish curriculum, even though that is not the religion of our home. I have always felt that no matter what label you attach to something, the values and morals are the most important part of the equation. I am horrified that in this wonderful multicultural town, this behavior is going on. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 1618 Registered: 9-2003 |
Sorry mommabear - Yes, we have a multicultural town. Yes, we embrace diversity and acceept our neighbor's for who they are. But, for whatever reason, you chose to send your child to a pre-school that not only is "not the religion of your home", but, specifically Jewish. While up to a point there is a shared religious history in Christian, Jewish and Muslim households, Christ has no place in the Jewish faith. Why would you expect to see Christmas items at Sharey-Tefio's sale? | ||
| Debby Citizen Username: Debby Post Number: 1464 Registered: 5-2001 |
I was a teacher at Sharey Tefilo preschool and religious school for several years. I am no longer affiliated with the synagogue, since we moved out of state (in other words, I am not writing as a representative  ) In my opinion we always did a good job of welcoming and including children not of the Jewish faith, while maintaining our Jewish identity. As a Jewish school, affiliated with a synagogue, we did not celebrate or teach about Halloween, Christmas, Valentine's Day or Easter. The only non-Jewish holidays that were part of the curriculum were Thanksgiving, Groundhog Day and Mother's and Father's Days. So what do I mean by welcoming and including? We acknowledged other cultures, and did not hush the children if they mentioned how they celebrate at home. If Josh said he was going on a plane to visit his Grandma for Christmas, we said "How exciting! Have you ever been on a big plane before?", not "Thank you, but we don't talk about Christmas here". Children drew pictures and dictated captions about their families' celebrations, and we wrote what they told us. On a personal basis, I always wished my non-Jewish parents a Merry Christmas. But it is one thing to acknowledge someone else's holiday, and another thing to celebrate or 'sponsor' it. I don't believe the synagogue should be in the business of selling Christmas items. To me it would seem to imply that Chanukah and Christmas are really related (which they are not), and that Christmas is for everyone, Jews too. In my opinion a synagogue cannot make such a statement. I love the fact that TSTI is so well-regarded that many non-Jewish members of our community line up to enroll their children. It is a testament to the warmth and quality of instruction. It also makes the school more representative of the community it serves. I hope that people who have been offended by this incident can maybe start to see it a little differently, and understand the need for the synagogue to keep Chanukah and Christmas separate. I hope the discomfort goes away. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4902 Registered: 1-2003  |
Seems like a pretty silly move to remove the book. But so is being offended. Did the school snatch it out of a kid's hands? I don't see how selling a Christmas book would offend anyone. It doesn't sound like this school aims to be a Christian-free zone, where no one is burdened of the reminder that Christianity lurks out there. It's a sale, so people are free to buy what they like and not buy what they dislike. Being offended at the mention of Christmas is pretty odd, too. But the school is also free to sell and not sell what they like, too. I guess I could get offended at all the offense people feel, but instead, I'm sad. | ||
| mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 133 Registered: 5-2001 |
First, I want to make it clear...we are not talking about religious books here. We are talking Santa stuff. This is not a religious debate. Second, TSTI sells itself as a comunity, multicultural school that accepts everyone. Based on recent events, it is apparent that this is not accurate. I expect to see Christmas items for several reasons.. 1. because it represents who the preschool population is - a multicultural community. it is NOT 100% Jewish. Less than 25% of the preschool is even a member of the temple. Also, historically, non-jews/non-temple members were allowed to go to the school because there were not enough jewish children to fill the classrooms. The non-temple/non-jews members pay more tuition - around 23-28% more, depending on the class. 2. Because both sales were open to the public, which is also not 100% Jewish either. When you want to sell someone something, don't you choose items that they would want to buy? You sell to an audience. Based on the demographics of the audience, you choose your products. It's simple marketing. 3. Other area schools and preschools sell all types of books & wares to meet the needs of their preschool populations. Christian schools have Hannukah books. OLS has African-American and Hispanic books at their book sales. What's the difference? 4. it's downright discriminatory. Why take my money, ask me to volunteer/support the school, but then disrespect me? Am I some dirty little secret? If you open your school up to the public, you most likely end up with a diverse population. With that, you end up with issue just like this. You can't have it both ways. Either recognise your population or close your doors to the public and be 100% Jewish. I am not asking for a change in curriculum, nor am I expecting the kids to learn about Christmas or Christian holidays (gasp!). I fully understand that I chose to send my children to a Jewish School. (When you break it all down, we're talking Old Testament vs. new Testament anyway!) I even pay significantly more money to send my children there because we are not temple members. My point is this...one of the reasons we all choose to live in South Orange/Maplewood is because we embrace it's diversity. I want my children to grow up realizing people are different, have different views/cultures/religions/families/etc. I want them to be educated about everything. For the last 4 years, I have believed this, now I am being slapped in the face. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4903 Registered: 1-2003 |
Here's a little story, for whatever it's worth. Religious school started in September at my Jewish congregation. I saw the artwork the kindergarteners made on the first day. One kid had written the name "Jesus" on his picture of a torah. I'm sure someone will straighten him out eventually, but it really warmed my heart that no one did so right away and that they allowed him to display his art. No one can force you to be tolerant. That wouldn't be tolerant. But you can give it a try. | ||
| mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 134 Registered: 5-2001 |
Debby- thank you for your "insider's view" post. We feel TSTI is a great school. The teachers are wonderful and Carol Paster is a spectacular Director. I don't care what label is attched to the curriculum - they are teaching my kids good values. I am very saddened, however, that the temple has decided to take this stance on the topic. How much longer before this discriminatory attitude creaps down into the preschool? The decision to remove Christmas books and wrapping paper was hurtful and disrespectful to the preschool population, it was offensive to the Preschool Board, and, trust me, it will impact the preschool negatively. They handled the matter VERY poorly. Yes, in the past many non-jewish families have lined up to enroll their children, but this year, many non-jewish families will not be returning because of this incident. Members of the Board have resigned. More will follow. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4904 Registered: 1-2003 |
I sent one of my daughters to a Jewish preschool. They didn't sell any Christmas paraphernalia there. No one seemed harmed. If they had simply not sold the stuff, instead of preparing to sell it and then pulling it, would that have been better, in your view? | ||
| Ukealalio Citizen Username: Ukealalio Post Number: 1582 Registered: 6-2003 |
I'm just wondering, they are also Christian houses of worship in out town that have pre-schools that admit children of all faiths. Do these schools ever offer Jewish, Muslim, Buddhist, etc, themed merchandise ?. This is not a tit for tat question, as I don't believe a school that is clearly affiliated with one denomination, should have any obligation to offer merchandise from another denomination. | ||
| Brett Weir Citizen Username: Brett_weir Post Number: 498 Registered: 4-2004 |
MammaBear- I don't find it discriminatory for a Jewish House of Worship to exclude Christian books from its book sale. It makes sense when you realize that the primary reason for that school's existence is to introduce Judaism to its youngest members. The fact that the school opened its doors to non-Jewish students, even for purposes of increasing enrollment, does not change its central purpose for existing. And pre-school children may be too young to distinguish religious symbols and figures of other faiths from their own. | ||
| Bobkat Supporter Username: Bobk Post Number: 7102 Registered: 5-2001 |
I can't see how anyone would expect a synagogue to sell Christmas paraphenalia, no matter how inclusive they are. Oddly enough, to me it would be more surprising if an inclusive Christian pre-school didn't sell Hannukah items, since Judiasm (and the Old Testament)as part of their tradition. Uhm, maybe I just hit on why the culture wars have become so heated in these here parts recently. | ||
| shh Citizen Username: Shh Post Number: 1975 Registered: 5-2001 |
I agree with SoOrLady & Bob. I'd never expect to see Christmas related books or items at a synagogue. | ||
| mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 136 Registered: 5-2001 |
Brett- Again, we are not talking about religiously Christian books. We talking Santa stuff - like kid's books and Christmas wrapping paper for gift items purchased at the vendor night. Also, we are talking about a book sale and a vendor night put on by the multicultural preschool - not the temple - that was open to the public. I understand the school's existence to introduce Judaism to younger children. I do not argue with the curriculum. I am happy to have my children be exposed to such a wonderful faith, full of tradition, however, if you open your doors to people of other faiths/cultures/races, you need to respect their differences. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4906 Registered: 1-2003 |
mammabear, I think you would do well to respect Jews who don't want to have Christmas. I understand the difference between idelogical and cultural trappings of Christmas, and the school has a right to dispense with all of them. | ||
| mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 137 Registered: 5-2001 |
Uke- many of my friinds attend other preschools like Morrow and Propect. Both schoolds are in Christain Churches, but have curriculums that celebrate all holidays...Hannukah, Christmas, and Kwanzaa. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4907 Registered: 1-2003 |
My point is that it is not their duty to provide any acknowledgement of Christmas, nor did they rip Christmas out of your lives. Sorry to be unsympathetic. I don't think this is analogous to the other complaints going around. | ||
| mammabear Citizen Username: Mammabear Post Number: 138 Registered: 5-2001 |
Tom - I am saddened by the temple's stance on many levels. Yes, we are talking about Christmas books in this particular case, but we are really touching on an issue that is way deeper than that. Why does a culture that has been so discriminated against through history, now want to be discriminatory themselves? I do not understand. I have spent many years at TSTI as both a parent and Board Member. I have killed myself to do nothing but respect a differnt culture and religion. Since I have spent a lot of time in the classrooms there, I have made sure I know the prayers, know what is appropriate, etc. in every situation. I have educated myself and would be mortified if I ever did anything to offend anyone. The problem is that I am not being shown the same respect back. The only question I have at this point is whether I can stand for it or not. | ||
| Tom Reingold Supporter Username: Noglider Post Number: 4908 Registered: 1-2003 |
Prepare to be mortified, because I suspect that if you made a protest, you would offend the folks at the school. Let this rest. Respect their wishes. It's their ball game and their ball and their field. | ||
| SoOrLady Citizen Username: Soorlady Post Number: 1619 Registered: 9-2003 |
Mammabear - I'm a Christian, but I would think that a book about Santa would be just as offensive to a Jewish person as one about Christ being born on Christmas Day. Santa brings toys to GOOD girls and boys... hmmmm... Santa doesn't come to our house so I'm bad.. or being Jewish must be bad. See the problem? It's wonderful that you've immersed yourself in the faith of your child's school in an effort to never make an inappropriate move. However, they are not obliged to do the same. It's a "when in Rome" kind of thing.... if you've been happy with all other aspects of this school take Tom's advice...let it rest. | ||
| Brett Weir Citizen Username: Brett_weir Post Number: 501 Registered: 4-2004 |
Mamma Bear- Believe me, I understand that the school is not the temple, but even the most innocuous of Christmas books may be confusing to Jewish pre-schoolers in the opinion of the school's board. I don't necessarily see the harm either but I can conceive of how they might and I respect their need to set these limits. I went all through Catholic School during the 1960's and 1970's, when grade schoolers were not exposed to other faiths as a rule. One very progessive teacher I had arranged for our class to attend Friday evening services at an area synagogue, and it was an illuminating experience for us. But it was also very structured to avoid confusion on our part or debate with our Jewish counterparts. Again, there is a component of cross-cultural exchange that is age-appropriate. Your school board feels that such exchange should be very limited for children so young. If you disagree so strongly you may want to seek another school. |
